


Follow You Down

by ZSomegaLUCKEE



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-19 02:37:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 94,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1452385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZSomegaLUCKEE/pseuds/ZSomegaLUCKEE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the Reaper War ended, and a hero lost, the galaxy faces a possible new threat, looming in the furthest reaches of space, that could be even more enigmatic and devastating than the last. All the while, Garrus Vakarian hangs on to a slim hope that he has not been robbed of the only person he truly cared for, the only woman he would have followed into the gaping maw of hell. Set post ME3 Destroy ending. Shakarian. Rated M for language, sexual references and eventual violence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An End Once and For All

The battle for Earth was rapidly becoming a catastrophe. The Reaper ground forces were slaughtering nearly everyone they overwhelmed. Reaper capital ships and destroyers landed by the dozens, shooting their red beams at anything even remotely organic. Humans, turains, salarians, asari, and krogans were being slaughtered where they stood. In essence, it was the annihilation they all feared since learning of these "old machines" several years ago. The organics were losing this war quickly.

The SSV _Normandy_ SR-2 was in total and complete disarray. Joker was in the cockpit, frantically maneuvering the controls in an attempt to pull the Alliance ship from the battlefield as EDI shouted status reports to him every few seconds. Engineers were running to and from stations, yelling readings to one another. The Prothean, Javik had taken position in the main battery, working with James Vega to keep the Thannix Cannon at operable functioning capacity, in order for the Alliance ship to shoot its way out of Earth's atmosphere. Tali'Zorah was on the engineering deck with Adams, Donnelly, and Daniels desperately struggling to stabilize the drive core. Alliance marines and alien soldiers were being rushed into the already over capacitated medbay, spilling out into the mess hall.

Dr. Chakwas was presently shouting at Major Kaidan Alenko to put pressure on the exit wound of an asari commando. Kaidan nodded, pale faced and nauseous, watching the asari's blood spill from the injury into his shaking hands. Her cries rattled Kaidan to the bone, every time he shifted to get a better hold. Steve Cortez bandaged his own leg, beside Kaidan, wincing every few moments. In the midst of the commotion, the screaming and the clatter of surgical equipment, Garrus Vakarian lay on a metal slab, staring wordlessly at the ceiling. The sounds around him were muffled by his own heart, pounding deafeningly in his ears.

Liara T'Soni was quickly stripping off his armor, attempting to find the source of his bleeding. When she pulled away the last piece of armor, his blue blood surged around a large piece of shrapnel jutting from the side of his lower abdomen. Garrus hardly moved, the pain was a dull throb and he was numb to it, if only for the time being.

The _Normandy_ had just landed into the firefight to pick up an injured Liara and Garrus, among a number of soldiers who hadn't been blown to pieces by Harbinger. They were both wounded when a Mako was flung into the air by Harbinger's inferno during the final push towards the beam that was to take them and Shepard to the Citadel to activate the Catalyst.

Shepard had half dragged, half carried Garrus to the _Normandy_ , Liara limping behind them. Once to the ship, Shepard signaled for Liara to take him, under Marine cover fire. He had protested of course, insisted that he could make it. Garrus begged her, pleaded with her… they were in this together… She had said so herself… "No Shepard without Vakarian"... They were a team.

In the moment before the _Normandy_ took off, time had ceased to exist altogether. She looked akin to an angel of fire upon the battlefield, a warrior angel, fierce in wrath… _Siha_ , as Thane had once called her. Only now did Garrus fully comprehend and appreciate the meaning of the drell word. Her short, fiery red hair was windswept and blown across her face. Her armor was scorched, burned, and pitted from years of battle. She approached him tenderly, her defiant blue eyes full of silent concern. For a singular moment, they were the only two people in the galaxy. There was no gunfire, there were no Reapers, no battle for Earth, no death, or loss, or hate. Just two individuals brought together through a series of unusual circumstances. She had pledged herself to him and his heart would never belong to another as long as he lived. It was the first time Garrus had uttered "I love you" to Shepard, and right now he feared it might have been the last.

In a whirlwind of emotion and pain, he bolted into an upright position, adrenaline searing through him like Shepard's omni blade through Lieutenant Bastard Kai Leng's chest. Every sound, every smell, every sense came flooding back in one fell swoop, reality hitting him as brutally as the Mako did. His wounds had gone almost completely disregarded until his heart rate had slowed and the adrenaline ceased coursing through his veins. The pain was beginning to return in excruciating waves.

"Damnit Joker!" Garrus shouted from his metal slab. "You can't just leave her down there!"

"I don't like it either, but she gave me an order to get the hell out of here," the flight lieutenant barked over the intercom.

"Just like you did when you left her over Alchera!?" Garrus roared.

There was a hesitation before- "Don't you dare-," Joker started. Dr. Chakwas leaned over one of her medical carts, punching off the intercom, cutting the argument short.

"Garrus, I need you to calm yourself!" she interjected.

He swung his feet over the side of table, clearly furious, and made a beeline straight for the medbay's door. At that very same moment, James Vega stepped back over the threshold, blocking Garrus' path.

"Get out of my way Vega," he said in a low, threatening voice. The large soldier crossed his tattooed arms and stood up at full height, daring to stare down a six and a half foot, enraged turian. Their eyes met, and for the briefest of moments, the two shared the same thought. _She may not make it._

Vega puffed out his chest, put on a brave face, and placed a reassuring hand lightly on his shoulder, "She'll make it, Scars. Lola always makes it." Garrus hung his head in defeat, brow plates furrowing, muttering, "Alright", then turned on heal to walk back to the medbay table.

Just as Garrus lifted his arms to allow Chakwas and Liara to clean out the shrapnel, he noticed he had been clutching something cold and metallic in his hand. When he glanced down to have a better look, he realized, with a heavy heart, it was Shepard's Alliance dog tags. She must have pushed them into his hands before she raced off towards the beam.

He turned them over in his hands, memorizing every detail. The N7 inscribed on the front was flaked with red. _Blood_ , he thought. More than likely hers, considering the amount of times she had been shot at over the years. The other side was engraved with an ID number as well as the wording "Systems Alliance Navy", "Council Spectre" and "CMDR".

Above all of this, her name. Garrus ran his thumb over it. On the night before the assault on Cronos Station, she had whispered her given name to him, in the silence of her quarters.

* * *

_"Aurora Shepard," she said quietly in the glowing light of her oversized fish tank. She was straddled across his lap, delicately tracing his collar bone with one her many fingers. She wore nothing but her dog tags._

_Garrus tilted his head slightly to the side, his mandibles twitching as he regarded her._

_"What?" she asked, a brief grin flashing across her face as he beheld at her. His eyes moved over her pale skin and defined muscles beneath it, to her red hair he combed through his hands. She had cut it again while on shore leave. Garrus recalled he had once found it bizarre humans could cut their strange, soft crests and it would grow back. He preferred it this length._

_He suddenly wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and gently pulled her towards him. He kissed her hard on her soft lips the best he could. He had come to adore human gestures of affection, this being his favorite. She kissed him back with just as much passion and intensity, caressing the underside of his fringe. He drew her in even closer, their chests pressed hard against one another. He ran his hands down the side of her thighs, resting his forehead against hers. She shuddered against him._

_It took several moments to realize that she was choking back sobs._

_"Damnit! Did I hurt you?" he panicked. It certainly wouldn't have been the first time. Their intimacy had been known to be clumsy and sometimes a bit awkward, especially more towards the beginning of their relationship. She use to feign being hurt, maybe pout a little before bursting into laughter._

_But this? This was the first time he had seen her cry. She was always so calm and rational. Rarely did she let her emotions rule her, except when she was angry… and that was a whole different story._

_She shook her head, wiping her eyes resentfully with the back of her hand. He took her head in both his hands, lifting her eyes to his. They were bloodshot and wet with tears. He had a difficult time understanding why humans cry. Turians usually wound up punching something… or someone when they were upset. But it intrigued him._

_She had never been as vulnerable as she was in this instant. He wanted to hold her close, tell her how he really felt about her, tell her she was everything to him, and how he never wanted to let go. Tell her that everything would be alright._

_"I can't do this Garrus," she sobbed._

_"Do what?" he asked gently. She threw her hands in the air saying, "This! I can't be the fucking hero they want me to be," she paused. "The hero they_ expect _me to be."_

_"Shepard, you already are a hero to every species in this galaxy! The Hero of the Skyllian Blitz, the First Human Spectre, The Savior of the Citadel, you brought us back from a suicide mission that no one believed we would return from. Spirits, you've single handedly united the turians and the krogan, the geth and the quarians, cured the genophage and brought the might of the galaxy to bear upon Cerberus and the Reapers. If anyone can do this, it's you," he said, striving to reassure her._

_"I never wanted any of this," she said quietly, seemingly ignoring him. She tilted her head towards the ceiling and the large window that opened into the vastness of the stars._

* * *

A hot, searing pain jerked Garrus back to reality. Liara and Chakwas had just removed the large piece of shrapnel from his abdomen.

"If we don't get you to a medical facility soon Garrus, you'll be at risk for an infection," Chakwas said. Garrus watched as Liara placed the large chunk of metal stained with his blood onto a tray. "There's only so much I can do with medigel, and our dextro supplies are running low."

"Until she comes walking through that door and I know she's ok, I don't give a damn if I live or not," he sneered, thrusting a finger at the medbay door, his subharmonics trembling.

"Garrus, we can't even-" Liara began. He rounded on her angrily, "Don't Liara."

"We have to be realistic," Chakwas said harshly. "This. Is. War." Garrus opened his mouth to retort but the doctor continued, "No! Listen to me. We have all lost people. Hell most of us have lost colonies… planets even. She wouldn't want you to give up simply because she's not here to hold your hand."

Just as Garrus was about to retort, the _Normandy_ shuddered around them. There were a number of surprised gasps and a few cries of shock and fear from those present in the medbay.

"Alright people, hang on to your asses; things might get a bit rough," Joker said over the intercom.

Liara turned from Garrus and sprinted out the door without saying a word, with Vega in tow, presumably rushing to the cockpit to comprehend what was happening.

Garrus groaned in pain as he reached over to punch the button of the intercom, "Talk to me Joker."

"The Citadel! I'll be a son of a-" the pilot's voice trailed off in awe.

"What the hell was that?" Garrus demanded.

"She did it! I don't know how but.. but shit, I think she did it!" Joker said incredulously.

"Oh goddess!" came Liara's astonished voice. "She _did_ do it! Look! The Reapers stop dead when that energy surge reaches them!"

Garrus was becoming even more frustrated because he couldn't tell what was happening with the Citadel and the Crucible, with the Reapers.

"Uhh- Joker… I think we better get our asses moving." Vega said earnestly over the laughter and the cheers coming over the intercom.

"I believe the Lieutenant is correct, Jeff. That energy is focusing on the machines, including all these ships," EDI commented.

"But I- I can't leave her, not this time. Not like this-" Joker's words reflected what Garrus was thinking.

Hackett's voice came over the loud speaker, announcing to every ship in the system, "All fleets. The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point." A pause and a weary sigh. "I repeat. Disengage and get the hell out of here."

The broadcast terminated and Liara could be heard saying, "Jeff, we need to go." The despair and regret in her voice cut Garrus to the bone.

Joker exhaled, saying directly into Garrus' earpiece, "We'll come back for her, big guy. I promise."

Garrus reared up, batted Chakwas' prying hands away, overturned a medical stand, and stalked off furiously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've posted several chapters to see how this story will fare... should it garner a response, I'll be more than happy to post more... Enjoy


	2. Palaven's New Primarch

**6 months later**

Aurelia Vaxus was eager to be back on Palaven. After nearly five months of being stranded in the Sol system, she was relieved to have returned home, even if home was nearly a desolate wasteland.

Aurelia was a determined, young turian. Perhaps slightly shy, and maybe a little unsure of herself. She was a bit ignorant when it came to the tactics of war, having just recently graduated from the Academy. She had served on the _Hadrian_ , one of the largest dreadnoughts in the turian military, during the Reaper War, pulled from the Academy prematurely to aid in the war effort. Though, after the defeat of the Reapers, she went back to finish her last term.

She counted herself among the lucky ones, having lost no one close to her during the war, but she knew countless other families who had been torn apart in the last year and a half. Many clans still had members missing in action or pronounced KIA.

_Spirits, why was I so fortunate, when others were not?_ she had thought to herself more often than not. The whole damn war had been unfair.

Now, she was back on Palaven, pencil pushing for the last four months. Normally she would have been upset with the prospect of having a desk job, but this specific job would be crucial to her young career. Aurelia was still a bit unsure of how she had landed this position, but she wasn't complaining. Though, come to think of it, there were a number of rumors spread about the office staff by the younger interns that she had slept with the new Primarch for the position. If anyone knew her, even just slightly, the prospect of it was laughable.

A career in Cipritine, employed by politicians, had made her father proud and brought honor to her clan. Aurelia was beyond elated to serve in any way her superiors saw fit, particularly if it meant keeping stability within a weakened civilization.

Presently, she stood in the back of a large conference room of the capital building, one of the first structures to be rebuilt. The hierarchy was, after all, the most essential part of turian civilization. Aurelia clutched several datapads tightly to her chest, as she listened to the Director of Staff review the agenda for the day. A number of other young turian interns asked questions, but Aurelia knew her duties. Despite what others may say to her or about her, she reported to only one other individual.

She watched as the others finished and left the conference room. She waited until she was completely alone before setting down her datapads and bringing up her omni-tool interface. She quickly typed a few things in and glanced at her own reflection in the mirror above the food and drink table.

While she didn't want to admit it, Aurelia was in no way regarded as unattractive, at least by turian standards. Her white clan markings shown in heavy contrast against her dark plates and carapace. Her golden eyes looked back at her, through the reflection of the mirror, with mild curiosity. She wasn't too tall or too short. And her crest was slightly longer than most turian women. She looked a spitting image of her mother, except for her eyes. Her eyes, she had definitely inherited those from her father.

Glancing back down at her omni-tool, Aurelia poured a glass of a cold dextro- tea, something quarian. She picked up the tumbler and her datapads and left the conference room the same way her coworkers had.

_Time to begin the day,_ she said to herself. Maybe her boss wouldn't be so callous today.

As Aurelia pushed the button of the elevator to take her to the upper levels, she had to chuckle to herself. _That would be a miracle… for her boss to not be so damn cold_.

It wasn't that she would say she disliked the older turian, it was just that he was so closed off and not very personable. She had to admit though, he was intimidating as hell.

The elevator arrived after a time, in no hurry to get anywhere fast. Aurelia boarded it, shifting her datapads and the cup as the doors slid shut.

She watched as the numbers ticked by, humming a turian anthem quietly to herself. At long last, the elevator reached her floor. She strode by the secretary in the reception area, bowing her head in recognition as she passed. The secretary watched Aurelia over the top edge of her omni-tool. Aurelia rolled her eyes when she reached the doors to her superior's office. The receptionist's head was probably already teeming with gossip ready to spread about the office at a moment's notice.

Aurelia knocked once on the office doors and entered.

Her employer had his back to her, facing a large screen on the opposite wall.

"Prima-" Aurelia began. Without turning to face her, he held up his hand to silence her. She immediately obeyed. He was in the middle of a vid-chat, with a young asari maiden.

As he spoke, Aurelia regarded him. He was taller than most turians, standing nearly six and a half feet tall at full height. However, it seemed to her that he nearly always stood slightly stooped, as though he was contending with a burden too heavy to bear, though he would not admit it, least of all to her. He was a battle hardened soldier, with a gruff, unemotional demeanor. Scars crisscrossed a large portion of his visible body, including one side of his face, distorting his blue clan markings.

As he spoke with the asari, he leaned heavily on his desk, one arm crossed horizontally over his chest, while the other rubbed his eyes in what appeared to be weariness. His sub-vocals saying as much.

Aurelia glanced around the office as she always did, taking in personal relics he used to decorate it with. A Black Widow sniper rifle was mounted on the wall to her left, a geth assault rifle hung underneath it. From what she understood, the Black Widow was an Alliance developed weapon that had been purchased by the Council for Spectres in stealth operations, but she couldn't be entirely sure. On the wall to her right, a large glass case held a multitude of model ship souvenirs. Why in the galaxy he would collect such a thing, she could never guess. Next to the large vid-screen though, was the most bizarre thing in the whole office. Another glass case was hooked up to tubes and what appeared to be a ventilation system. In the glass container, was a hideous, furry, little creature that preferred to hide in its little house rather than to observe the world around it. Aurelia didn't dare ask what the hell it was though. On his desk, several datapads were scattered about haphazardly. A blue, high tech targeting visor lay in several pieces off to one side, apparently abandoned. Next to that was a set of worn, human military dog tags.

He was a very strange turian.

"Alright… thanks Liara… keep the updates coming. I want to know the second you find anything," he had finally finished his conversation, turning off the vid-screen with a tap to his omni-tool. He turned around, not making eye contact with Aurelia, slouching down in his oversized chair.

He looked out of place in a politician's office, wearing politician's garments. He would have looked more at home staring down the scope of his Widow. He held his head in his hand, clearly exhausted, while his other hand drifted aimlessly to the dog tags lying on his desk.

"Primarch? Primarch Vakarian? Sir?" Aurelia said gently. "I-I have the datapads you requested. I also took the liberty of bringing you some of that quarian tea they had downstairs…" she winced. The words had just tumbled out all too quickly and she berated herself for sounding so childish.

Not saying a word, he stood back up, clutching the dog tags firmly in his hand. The Primarch trudged to his large window facing the streets of Cipritine. He rested his fist with the tags against the glass, and silence overtook them.

"Sir," Aurelia was uncertain how to proceed. "Are you alright?" she finally asked. After several awkward moments of silence, the Primarch finally spoke.

"Have you heard the latest office gossip?" he said with a hint of distaste.

"I'm not really sure-" her voice broke off.

"Apparently, you and I are sleeping together, and that's how you got this job…"

"I don't-"

He waved his free hand in the air to ward off any more uncomfortable responses, "You haven't lost anyone close to you have you?"

"No, sir… I was very fortunate…"

"Yea, I suppose you were," he sighed. He then turned to face her, extending his opened hand to her. "You see these?"

Aurelia hesitated.

"Go ahead, take a look," he said, thrusting the tags toward her. She set the tumbler and the datapads on his desk and took the cool metal chain from her superior, but not before glancing up at him to make sure he wasn't testing her. When he gave no indication he was, she turned them over in her hands, unfamiliar with the human words upon them.

The Primarch looked at his feet, saying in a low voice, "Aurora Shepard, Systems Alliance Navy, Council Spectre, Commander. Her ID number, 5923-AC-2826… I've read them over and over again, memorizing every word, every number, every scratch and imperfection,"

"I'm not sure if I'm the one you should be telling this to... Sir," Aurelia added hastily.

The Primarch snorted, his subvocals full of contempt, "Aurelia... I have friends in high places... A quarian admiral, the Shadow Broker, a Justicar, a krogan battlemaster, numerous human contacts, and yet, not a single one of them is on this whole damn planet… I'm in mourning… I've lost the only woman I have ever pledged my heart to, and as the days pass by, I fear more and more I won't ever see her again."

Aurelia offered the tags back to him, hesitant of where this conversation was going, "I know Shepard was your commander, and a damn hero at that… but what has she got to do with your mourning?" She hoped to the spirits that she wasn't overstepping her boundaries.

The older turian took the tags from her and regarded her with his beady grey eyes… cold, calculating… sad…

"You really are naïve, aren't you," he said more as a statement of fact, rather than a question.

She remained silent.

He walked over to his desk and opened a drawer, lifting a datapad carefully from it. He handed it to her.

She tapped the screen, and it lit up a picture. It showed a turian and a human… female. After a minute or so, Aurelia realized it was the Primarch, and (her heart sinking) _the_ Commander Shepard. The two were in what appeared to be a bar or a club. Their bodies were pressed so close together, that no daylight could escape… The pair was… _dancing_? The Primarch's mandibles were flared wide, his eyes were lit up as she had never seen them before. He was smiling. They were both wearing civilian dress clothes. He looked very smart in dark blue and white clothing, while she wore a very skin tight silver dress that complimented his metallic plates. Her red hair was cut chin length and she was grinning from ear to ear. The picture depicted the two gazing long into each other's eyes, completely unaware of the scandalized looks they were receiving from onlookers and oblivious to a picture being taken of them.

Everything came full circle for Aurelia; she finally understood why the older turian was the he was. Why he was so distant and kept to himself when he wasn't overseeing rebuilding projects or meeting with other politicians or handing out medals. She was startled, to say the least.

Speechless, she brought a hand to her mouth in shock, handing the datapad back to the Primarch. He took it from her, brow plates furrowing as he replaced it in its drawer.

"Lt. Vega took that while we were on shore leave… He also taught me that dance… For her… I can't remember if it was a salsa or a tango…" he said more to himself.

"I am so sorry Primarch," Aurelia said quietly. "I really had no idea…"

"Not very many people do… If anyone ever asked, we always played it off as a joke. The only ones that really knew were our close friends on the _Normandy_. The mission always came first… Always," he closed his eyes, reminiscing. "I would have followed her into the darkest reaches of space… Shit… we all would have. She had a way of making you want to fight for what she believed in. Her prerogatives became ours. She believed that everyone still had some good left inside them… Benezia, Saren, the Illusive Man… Hell, she even saved me from losing myself to revenge…"

He crossed his arms across his carapace, shifted his weight and turned his head back to the window, seemingly consuming himself with her memories.

Aurelia could hardly believe what she had just heard. _A human and a turian? In love?_ It wasn't unheard of but it was most certainly looked down upon.

"Aurelia… I'd prefer if you kept this conversation to yourself," he said not looking back at her. "Palaven doesn't need to know I'm not a very good turian…"

She nodded and turned to go, taking with her everything the Primarch had said. As she pushed the office door open, she heard him say, with his subharmonics quaking, "Damnit Shepard… I can't do this alone."

By the end of the day, Aurelia had resolved that the whole ordeal was indeed tragic.


	3. Black Widow

Garrus had finally found a few hours to himself. Hoping to ease some tension, he strapped on his new set of armor, reassembled his targeting visor, and headed down to the firing range with his Black Widow for some much needed target practice. He contemplated going to the new holo-range in the bottom portion of the capitol building, but decided against it. Wishing to clear his head properly, he took his skycar several streets up to another range. It was privately owned and Garrus knew not many people would bother him.

He preset his course and turned on the autopilot. As the skycar took him to his destination, Garrus watched as ruined buildings flitted past his windows. Some had already been completely removed and replaced with newer ones. He passed several Reaper corpses that had yet to be dismantled and made a mental note to have them removed in the near future. It still never ceased to amaze him of the havoc and destruction the Reapers had wrought on Palaven. In the back of his mind, however, he knew the destruction of Earth was far worse.

Turning his thoughts away from Reapers, he recalled how he had came to be a Primarch of the turian race. It was a month before the _Normandy_ could be repaired and get off that damn jungle planet. They had crashed on it, attempting to outrun the blast that destroyed the Reapers after the Crucible fired. It still pained him, thinking about losing the geth and EDI, after all of the political bullshit and Shepard's hard work. It was another month before Garrus was able get back home. When he was finally planetside and the whole population knew of his return, he barely had time to breathe before he was informed of where he stood in the hierarchy. He reluctantly accepted, though he didn't really have a choice in the matter. The lines of succession were very clear.

He smiled inwardly, remembering when Shepard asked him how far down the line he actually was. She had said, _Primarch Vakarian, honored war hero_. Though, he had brushed it off then, not thinking it would ever become true. And yet, here he was. Respectable, honored, a leader… The yahg Shadow Broker had been very wrong.

From what he understood, there were two other Primarchs besides himself. Each was able to speak for the turian population as a whole. A Primarch was appointed through very distinct lines of succession, and Garrus had jumped the citizenship tiers a number of times through the Reaper War. Typically, Primarchs took a more of a backseat role, trusting citizens under them to do their job competently, but Garrus had been hands on from the start.

Arriving at the range, Garrus shook his ominous thoughts and parked his car. Carrying his equipment to the entrance, he tried to pay the owner, but the stooped, older turian would hear nothing of it, saying a bit too enthusiastically, "Even if you weren't the Primarch, I still wouldn't allow you to pay. You're a damn hero. Almost as famous as that commander of yours!" Garrus nodded his thanks and made a beeline for the furthest lane.

Setting his gear on the ground, Garrus observed his surroundings. He was quite pleased when he noticed he was the only person there. It was an open air facility, made with physical targets, rather than that fancy new crap they had at the capitol building. Clouds parted, and the light from Trebia's rays bore down in full strength, warming Garrus. He closed his eyes and raised his face toward them, allowing the warmth to seep into his faceplates and wash away any lingering thoughts of anguish.

Garrus rolled his shoulders and stretched out his limbs, his new armor creaking. He had purchased the armor after being named Primarch. His old blue and black armor was blown to shit and rendered completely useless, beyond repair. He liked his new set well enough, though it had yet to be broken in. The joints were still stiff, and some of his old injuries rubbed against the inside of the armor in uncomfortable ways. Upon choosing this particular set, Garrus had gone with a slate grey and an N7 red color scheme, for obvious reasons.

He unzipped his tactical bag, pulling the Black Widow rifle from it, along with a number of heat sinks. Laying everything out in front of him, Garrus began dismantling the rifle to clean it, his thoughts drifting elsewhere.

* * *

_"I have something for you," Shepard bounced into the Main Battery, carrying a black, oversized duffle bag. Garrus grumbled. He was up to his neck in nuts, bolts, and firing algorithms for the Thannix Cannon. Having recently proved Legion wrong over weapons' accurarcy, Tali had just informed him that his little obsession had pulled an unnecessary amount of power from the drive core and insisted he fix it immediately, threatening to send Chatika after him._

_"Can it wait a bit… I'm in the middle of…"_

_"Enough with the calibrating already Garrus!" Shepard laughed. She heaved the bag at him. Awkwardly catching it, he was able to measure the weight almost immediately. Simply put, it was heavy. He glanced at her, curiosity seizing hold. Shepard stood with her arms crossed and a playful glint in her blue eys, grinning like a fool._

_"Well… are you going to open it?"_

_He hurriedly unzipped the bag and hauled out the contents. In his hands was a brand new Alliance Black Widow rifle. It reflected what little light there was in the battery. Weighing it in his hands, it was much heavier than his beloved M-98 Widow. It was perfectly balanced, with seamless and precise lines. The rifle even still had that new gun smell to it. This was a masterpiece by no stretch of the imagination. He gawked at it, his mandibles left hanging wide open._

_"Do you like it?" she asked eagerly. It took Garrus several moments to find words._

_"Shepard? How did you-? Where did-? This gun hasn't even been released yet-" he stammered, not quite believing what he was holding in his hands. Her grin widened, "Oh… You know… That's a perk of having a Spectre as your girlfriend. I get regular updates when new toys come in. And this particular item screamed 'turian bad boy'."_

_Garrus set the flawless rifle on his work bench, pushed the duffle bag out of the way with his foot, and seized Shepard around the waist._

_"Huh… 'Turian bad boy' you say?" he said in low voice, his subvocals writhing with seduction. He spun her around and lifted her on top of the console, buttons and lights flashing wildly at being pushed all at once. Garrus ignored them and pressed his forehead against hers. Her legs wrapped around his upper thighs and came to rest on his spurs._

_"Garrus, is something the matter?" EDI's voice came over the comms. "I detect alarms in the Main Battery."_

_Shepard snorted, while Garrus rolled his eyes._

_"Everything's fine EDI… Shepard's here," he said to the disembodied voice._

_"Oh… I see… Logging you out then, Garrus… and Shepard," EDI said, her voice tinged with mirth._

_Shepard continued to giggle until Garrus put a finger to her lips, saying quietly, "Now, where were we?"_

_She undid the clasps of his armor, her multitude of fingers moving swiftly._

_"Oh… Riiiight," he said as his armor fell to the floor with a loud clash._

* * *

Garrus was jerked from his thoughts as a blip appeared on his visor, alerting him to someone else's presence. His visor read that who or whatever it was, was not a threat. It sat quite still upon a hillside, 100 yards behind him and to his left.

He reassembled the rifle, loaded the thermal clip, and began to shoot his targets, the booming crack of the gun ringing in the air each time he squeezed the trigger. He kept a watchful eye on the unknown and unmoving blip.

Firing his weapon, Garrus' heart began to race, adrenaline thundering in his ears. With each shot, he could feel his concerns slip to the back of his mind. He found comfort in weapons; he always had.

After fifteen minutes or so, his visor flashed "INCOMING CALL". Garrus hoisted his rifle over his shoulder and pressed his finger to his earpiece.

"Primarch Vakarian," he answered, slightly irritated. He had asked Aurelia to hold his calls for the next several hours.

"You know… I could blow your head off from way over here if I wanted to," said a soft voice. Garrus recognized the voice immediately and smiled briefly.

"You'd only have one shot… I can see you from here," he said turning around and waving in the direction of the blip.

"You and that damn visor. I'm surprised you haven't had it implanted," chortled the voice.

"Are you coming down or can I continue shooting?" Garrus said impatiently.

"I'm coming. Meet me at the front entrance." The call ended. Garrus folded the rifle and slapped it to his electromagnetic plating on his back, holstering it. He left his bag and heat sinks where they lay.

Solana Vakarian was waiting for him already by the entrance when he arrived. Garrus touched his younger sister's forehead with his head and then reached to embrace her. Grimacing, she pushed him off and punched him.

"I see some of those fine human qualities have rubbed off on you," she said sarcastically. Solana was a bit shorter than her brother, coming just to the tip of his flat nose. Her fringe was of normal length. Her plating was a hint lighter than Garrus', accenting her blue clan markings. Greenish yellow eyes looked him over from head to toe.

"What the hell happened to your face?" she asked, catching sight of his scars. Garrus swept his hand across his mandible. Shrugging indifferently, he replied, "I eat rockets for breakfast."

"That's not funny," Solana said, folding her arms.

"It's nice to see you too, Sol."

"Really Garrus? I haven't seen you in ages and you look like shit," she said as he turned to go back inside the range. "And all you have to say to me is, 'It's nice to see you,'?" The owner pretended not to be listening to their conversation.

"How's your leg? Dad told me you broke it,"

She shrugged, "It's fine, I suppose. Still aches sometimes. Nothing to worry about. Thanks for asking about it sooner though."

Upon reaching his gear, he was already fed up with her chastising remarks. The joy of seeing his sister again was swiftly fading. Rounding on her, he said, "Did you come all this way just to criticize me? Or was there something else?"

"Fine, if you don't want to talk now, then perhaps we can talk later… over dinner. Dad's waiting for us at the restaurant."

Garrus growled, "Dad came with you?"

"Uh- yeah, Garrus. He did. And he wants us to have dinner with him tonight so we can all have a nice, long chat," Solana said admonishingly.

Garrus was not looking forward to seeing the elder Vakarian. For the vast majority of Garrus' life and up until the start of the Reaper War, Tychus Vakarian had continuously berated him for every mistake, every screw up, and every bad decision he had ever made. Tychus had definitely not approved of Garrus abandoning his original C-Sec post and running off with a human, even less approving of Garrus returning after Saren and running off again to do merc work. It was only until the threat of the Reapers loomed ever present, did Tychus finally listen to what his son had to say. _Yell loud enough and someone will eventually come over to see what all the fuss is about._ He had always been crass and stone cold. Having not been on Palaven when his mother passed, or when the Reapers invaded, cut his bond to his family deep. Garrus was in no mood for a family reunion.

As the two siblings headed back to the skycar, Solana's demeanor changed profoundly.

"Despite what you may think Garrus, he's very proud of you," Solana admitted. Garrus surveyed his sister from the corner of his eye. Perhaps dinner wouldn't be so terrible after all.


	4. Dark Reunions

Following the aftermath of the Reaper War, Liara T'Soni returned to Illium, resuming her guise as an invested information dealer, and revealing to no one she was indeed the true Shadow Broker. She had taken back her old office in Nos Astra, keeping Feron as her assistant. She also managed to secure her old apartment as well, pulling a few strings here and there to do so. Liara spent most days in her office, sifting through feeds of binary code and reports of agents throughout the galaxy. With every passing day, she became more aware of the galaxy's comings and goings than most political leaders, even more so than perhaps the Council.

At present, Liara stood in front of her multitude of vid screens, watching for anything that may raise suspicion or seem out of the ordinary. In the months that followed the explosion of the Crucible and the Citadel, Liara got wind from a variety of sources that none of Shepard's remains were found among the Citadel wreckage, either orbiting Earth or what had crashed on its surface. She found it odd that the only remaining object was the Commander's helmet. Of course, Shepard had given Garrus her dog tags before she darted off toward the beam one last time. It was entirely possible that Shepard's body had been completely disintegrated, though she cringed at the thought, remembering the state of her body after she and Feron found Shepard on Alchera. Upon returning to Nos Astra, she immediately leaked threads to a variety of groups and persons in the hopes that any information of Shepard's disappearance or death could be coaxed from the depths of the galaxy's underworld.

After several long minutes, her omnitool beeped, alerting her to a vid call. It was Tali, and Liara had a sinking feeling she knew why the quarian wished to speak to her.

"Hello Tali," she said bringing up the vid on one of her screens.

"Liara," the quarian said, inclining her head. "Are you getting these readings from Dholen?" Tali was noticeably stressed.

Liara pulled some stats onto another monitor. "I am. These numbers are a bit worrisome."

Tali scoffed, "You don't need to tell me. Haestrom is getting worse, and Dholen may go supernova in the next _fifty_ years if this keeps up. That's within my lifetime, Liara"

Liara watched as Tali placed her hands on the console in front of her and waited for her to continue.

"Dark energy levels have been increasing all over the galaxy since the end of the Reaper War. It doesn't make sense, but I fear the Reapers may have keeping it at bay," Tali said, shaking her cloth covered head.

"I know Tali. I have yet to pinpoint where the dark energy is originating from. I do, however have a small team, scouting the outer regions of the galaxy to take measurements. But… forgive me for not looking into it more than I am… I just have other- more pressing matters on my mind," Liara said, wringing her hands together.

Tali sighed, "I'm sorry Liara. I forget sometimes that she's-" A pause. "Keelah! I still punch her number into my omnitool to try to call her before I remember she's not here… How's Garrus doing by the way?"

Liara shrugged, "Heartbroken… angry… Insistant that she's still out there…"

"You have your doubts?" Tali asked.

"Honestly? Yes, I do. You saw what happened when the Crucible fired… I have feelers out there, hoping to find some answers, but I won't be surprised if nothing comes of it."

"I… I understand. I keep thinking she's going to call me up and tell me to get my _ass_ back on the _Normandy_ ,"

Liara and Tali both chuckled.

"Well, Liara… Thanks… Let me know if anything changes,"

"You know I will, Tali,"

"I should go now- Bosh'tet! I will never forgive her for saying that!" Tali muttered as she severed the connection on her end.

Liara smiled at the blank screen. Somehow Shepard had managed to leave a part of herself behind in all of them. That much was apparent.

She turned to sit back down in the chair at her desk. For quite some time, Liara reminisced as she found herself doing often these days. After what seemed to be an age, Feron burst through her office door, causing Liara to jump to her feet.

"You may want to take a look at this," the drell said breathlessly, handing her a datapad.

Liara watched the security vid in dismay, her insides twisting.

"Check and recheck that vid. I want to know if it's someone trying to toy with me. And get me Admiral Hackett of Alliance Command…" she said, anxiously sifting through her desk drawers. "Also arrange transport. I'm going to Palaven,"

The stakes had just been raised tenfold.

* * *

The restaurant was dark, sparse accent lighting lit small tables and niches, unnecessarily lengthening long, obscure shadows. Music was playing in the background, something Garrus immediately comprehended as classical, human music. It sounded a bit out of place, but everyone seemed to not take notice to it. The only reason he recognized it, was because of the time Shepard insisted on downloading some classical files onto his visor for him to listen to during a firefight. She had teased him for months after discovering he listened to music while he was in combat. Water trickled from a nearby fountain, and could be heard over the private whispers of the restaurant's patrons. Most were turian, though there were a few asari, leaned close to their bond mates, their radiation gear left near the front door. A group of soldiers stood close to the long bar, the bartender within distance, in case any ran out of drink. Several politicians sat at a larger table, reviewing datapads and tapping notes into their omnitools. It was a quiet restaurant. Garrus hoped he wouldn't be acknowledged.

Nevertheless, the second he walked into the establishment with his sister, all heads turned in his direction, and he was greeted by a flurry of admirers, wishing to have autographs or pictures taken with Palaven's newest and youngest Primarch. Garrus brushed them away, agitated, and Solana pushed three weeping asari back to their seats in a dark corner. Garrus instantaneously broke away from the throng of people and scoped the bar. He found an empty seat near the end, ordering a full bottle of turian brandy to take away his edge.

Someone slapped him on the shoulder in greeting. With his hand on his sidearm, Garrus spun around, coming face to face with his father. Tychus Vakarian's mandibles flared into a wide smile until his eyes fell upon his son's scarred face. Garrus was shocked to see he had finally surpassed his father in height.

"Spirits Garrus…," Tychus said gently, touching Garrus's scars. It was abnormal to see him this… tender?

"Dad," Garrus said bowing his crested head low, a gesture of respect towards elder turians. Tychus put his hand under Garrus' chin and lifted his head. The two turians' eyes met, and suddenly Garrus felt shame and disgrace for ever thinking ill will towards his father.

Solana came forward, eyes rolling and whispered, "Can we find a table please?" She led them to an empty table and gestured for them to sit, glancing around to be sure no others were too eager to greet them. Garrus brought his bottle of brandy.

"So… one big happy family, back together again," Solana said a bit too sarcastically. Garrus knew she was still pissed at him for not being there when their mother, Rixa, finally passed. Hell, Garrus couldn't blame his sister. He would have been cross as well, but he found no reason to attempt to justify his "leave of absence", as she called it.

"Garrus, I don't blame you for leaving," Tychus admitted. Garrus was astonished by his father's revelation. "I was angry... so stuck in my ways. Furious my children were becoming adults. And distressed over your mother's sickness," he said the latter part with a weary sigh.

"I know I've grown soft in my old age son. I think I've earned a right to though. Your mother was a kind soul. And I wish I could have been more like her when the two of you were younger. I wish I could have been there more. I was so damn hard on the both of you, but especially you Garrus. I wanted you to be the perfect turian. Instead I failed you; I failed in being the perfect father. And I am ashamed…

"Though you took a different path than the one I intended for you, look at you now, Garrus. Primarch! A hero of the Reaper War! You have brought honor to the Vakarian clan in ways I never could."

Garrus had not anticipated this at all, and he was having difficult time trying to digest all that his father was saying to him.

Tychus continued, "It took losing my wife, and almost losing my children to come to terms with what really mattered in my life. My only hope now is that, someday, you may find solace in my regret."

"Dad… you don't have to apologize for anything," Garrus said.

"Oh but I do,"

No one said much of anything in the following minutes. Tychus took a long swill from the bottle of turian brandy Garrus had loosely clutched in his hand.

Solana finally broke the silence, "So Garrus… find yourself a mate yet?"

Garrus nearly spit his brandy back out, "What?! No… I mean yes… I mean… well…"

Tychus chuckled and gave his son another slap on his back. Solana leaned in closer, "Well? Who is she?"

"That's not really…" Garrus stammered. His sister looked towards their father, "I bet it's that secretary… what was her name? Aurelia? She _is_ very pretty, G."

Garrus was baffled. He never considered Aurelia as bond mate material. Ever. She was too shy, too naïve and certainly not Shepard.

"She's not turian," he finally admitted. Solana's mandibles widened into a sadistic grin.

"Asari then!" she nearly burst with anticipation. As she watched her brother to reply with bated breath, Garrus eyed the entrance door as it opened.

An asari walked through, removing her radiation helmet and breathing apparatus. As she approached the table, Garrus identified her immediately.

"Liara," he breathed. He knew knew she wouldn't come all this way if it wasn't something important. He hopped to his feet to greet her.

"Hello Garrus," she said anxiously. Solana's brow plates nearly hit the ceiling.

"Liara, this is my sister Solana, and my father Tychus Vakarian. This is Dr. Liara T'Soni. She and I have been good friends aboard the _Normandy_ since hunting down Saren."

"It's a pleasure meeting you, but may I speak with you, Garrus... in private?"

"I like her!" Solana exclaimed, elbowing a smirking Tychus. Liara frowned at her and said, "It's a very _urgent_ matter."

"I'll be right back," he said to his family, trying desperately to hide his anxiety.

Liara led him to the far end of the bar, away from prying eyes. She handed him the same datapad Feron had showed her. He read through his visor that her biometrics were skyrocketed and she was visibly agitated and distraught.

Garrus synced what little audio there was to his earpiece and tapped "play". His heart pounded in his chest as he watched the vid feed.

"How long ago was this taken?" he said, adrenaline thundering in his ears, once it finished playing.

"I'm not sure… I received it myself not days ago," she said, looking apprehensive.

"Is it real?"

"I have no reason to believe it's a fake, if that's what you're asking. I had Feron run extensive testing on it to determine what you have just asked me."

"Who else have you told?" he growled.

"Garrus, this isn't an interrogation," Liara said reproachfully. "But I've already forwarded a copy to Admiral Hackett."

"I'm sorry Liara, but if she's alive, spirits, we need to find her… Yesterday,"

"Agreed. That's why I've already arranged for a shuttle to pick us up tomorrow morning, 0700 Alliance standard time. We will rendezvous with the _Normandy_ when we get back to the Sol system."


	5. Only an Illusion

Garrus returned to the table his father and sister were seated at, his blood hammering in his ears. That vid was the first solid piece of evidence and first ray of hope they had of Shepard still being alive. He tried not to get his expectations up too high. Being an ex-cop, Garrus knew the stakes. He knew that the first several days of someone reported as missing were crucial. He also understood that as time passed, the likelihood of that missing person being found alive decreased dramatically. The vid could have been have been shot in the days following the end of the war. It could have been filmed a week ago. Garrus shook his head. No matter what he did or how he thought, the security vid shook him to his very core, unsettling him dramatically.

Upon reaching his family, Garrus was visibly distressed. Tychus took notice first, standing up, concern etched upon his aged features.

"Garrus?" he said slowly, though Garrus seemed not to have heard him. He tapped a quick message in his omni-tool. _The package may be delivered on time._ Brief and to the point, yet cryptic enough if it were to be intercepted. Hoping it was comprehendible, he sent the message first to Tali, then to Urdnot Wrex, Shepard's closest allies.

"Son, what is it?" Tychus repeated.

"I have to leave Palaven… First thing tomorrow morning…" Garrus trailed off.

"Leave?! Garrus! We just got back!" Solana whispered quite angrily.

"Sol… I'm sorry," he said.

"Sorry?" her voice steadily rising to a shout. "You want to abandon your family? Again?" More than a few heads swiveled in their direction.

The Primarch quickly finished what was left of the brandy and followed after Liara.

Once outside, Liara cast a glance behind Garrus. Noticing his father and sister running after him into the warm night air, she grasped his hand and squeezed reassuringly.

"I'll meet you back at your apartment. And Garrus? We'll find her. You have my word," she said.

He nodded his thanks to the asari and turned to greet what was sure to be the wrath of his sister once more.

Tychus reached his son first. "What was that about?"

"Sol. You asked me if I was bonded with anyone…," Garrus braced for the inevitable impact. "Aurora Shepard was… _is_ the most important woman in my life."

Sure enough, his sister gasped and exploded, "A human?! You've bonded with a human?!" Her anger was expected but the insult following was not.

"My own brother, in bed with a lesser species. I never thought I'd see the day," she scoffed.

"Did you learn nothing from the war, Sol?" Garrus' own voice and subharmonics rising as well. "I _thought_ we had put all our petty differences behind us. We fought and died, together, against the Reapers, fighting for our survival, fighting for our right to live the way we see fit, and not by some damn synthetics trying to dictate our futures.

"The galaxy is no longer black and white, and I don't give a shit if you agree with the choices I've made, but I'm sure as hell not going to let you insult the only person who has _always_ accepted me for me, without question," Garrus finally snapped. He supposed it had been a long time coming, first with his father, now, his sister. He knew the Vakarians were a very old clan. Many of them still clung to tradition. He assumed Solana had adopted a similar mentality.

They use to be close, nearly inseparable. When had they become some distant?

"Do you really love her?" Tychus finally asked.

"Yeah Dad, I do," he said, exhausted.

"Then we better get packed. We have a shuttle expecting us tomorrow."

"Dad?" both siblings said together, incredulously.

"I'm going with you, of course! That is, if you'll have me…" Tychus said, his mandibles twitching in what could have passed as a smirk.

"This is unbelievable!" Solana said, throwing her hands in the air. "Send me a message when one of you have come to your senses." And with that his sister begrudgingly stalked off into the night.

"Are you sure Dad?" said Garrus, still uncertain of what he was hearing.

"The galaxy has changed in ways we could never have foreseen. You've grown Garrus. You're a leader now, and I don't know when that came to be. You're my son, and I've missed some of the most important moments in your life. Besides, you've spent nearly the last four years with this woman, I want to know why," said Tychus.

"If I agree to this, we do it my way," Garrus said.

He extended his hand to his father. Tychus took Garrus' hand, clasping it as if they were brothers in arms rather than father and son.

"What about Sol?" he said looking in the direction his sister had left. Tychus ran a hand over his fringe. "She'll come around. She took losing your mother very hard. Solana sacrificed a lot to care for her. I think she just wants to have some sense of normalcy in her life, and this little bombshell of yours doesn't seem to bode well with her."

"Shepard risked her life to pull me out of the fray when a Mako landed on me. I'm not returning to Palaven until I know for certain that she is either safe from harm or dead." Garrus said defiantly.

"Then I suppose we had better meet your asari friend and prepare," Tychus said, placing a firm, reassuring hand on Garrus' shoulder.

Tychus followed his son to the skycar, and the pair took flight. They rode the 15 minutes to Garrus' apartment in comfortable silence. He supposed if he was in his father's place, he might feel something similar, wanting to make up for lost time.

Garrus had felt the same way, seeing Shepard for the first time after six months of her being in lock up. At first however, he had found himself terrified that she no longer felt the same way about their relationship. After all, he hadn't even so much as received a message from her during that time. It wasn't until Liara messaged him, saying she was unable to speak with anyone from her crew, did he fully comprehend what was happening.

The Alliance had said it was to keep her safe from the batarians, after she crashed the asteroid into the Alpha relay, destroying nearly the entire species. He had also heard rumors that she was to be put on trial for working with Cerberus, or they were going to question her sanity for being so persistent about the Reapers. In the end, she had been right the entire time. Everything was true and tied in with the other. Even lock up wasn't enough to keep the inevitable from happening. They all eventually paid the price for not believing her.

* * *

_They had spoken briefly after their rendezvous with the new Primarch, Adrien Victus. Around 2300 Alliance standard time, Garrus found himself outside Shepard's door, holding a bottle of quarian wine for himself and another of batarian ale for her. He recalled while the ale would knock most levos out after a single drink, she simply got wasted off a couple and blamed it on her Cerberus implants._

_According to EDI, she had just finished her rounds on the ship. He tapped in the passcode to disengage the lock and let himself in._

_Shepard's cabin was still the same as it had been while they used Cerberus. All of her model ships were in the glass casing surrounding her desk. The fish swam lazily in their oversized tank, unaware of how insignificant their lives truly were._

_Garrus stopped dead in his tracks, shaking his head. No, he wouldn't think like that. Thinking of an organic's life as petty and meager, no matter how small they were, was along similar lines of the Reapers justifying their means to harvest the galaxy, or of Cerberus thinking humans were the apex of their time. Both were wrong._

_He glanced at the shelf beside the bathroom door. The ugly little hamster was still in its container, peering at him through the glass. Shepard's bed sat at the bottom of the stairs, it was made up perfectly. The sheets were tucked into the corners tightly, no wrinkles showing. The pillows were propped against the headboard, meticulously arranged. Armor had been stripped off and thrown near the couch haphazardly. Her Alliance casuals lay discarded by the coffee table, along with several of her… underthings. Listening to the water run in the shower, Garrus smiled inwardly at himself. She was alone… in the shower… naked… probably scalding hot water pouring down her soft bare skin…_

_He quickly set the bottles of alcohol down on her desk, unclasping his clothing as fast as he could manage. Shedding them like a second skin, he tossed them aside and made a beeline straight for the door. It opened with a_ whoosh _, revealing her standing under the steady stream of water. Her forearm was against the shower wall, her head resting against it. She bore most of her weight on one leg, keeping the other bent. Her red hair clung to her face. Garrus noticed she had gained several large bruises and one nasty looking gash on her left side. In the moments he watched her, Shepard didn't move a muscle. He decided to change that._

_Walking up behind her, wrapped his arms around her torso, careful to not brush her injuries. Resting his chin on her shoulder, she leaned her head against the side of his, her hair plastering to his scarred mandible. The pair remained there for a time, enjoying the comfort of the other, allowing the hot water and the steam to wash away the dirt, the grime, the blood and the worries._

_Shepard turned around to face him, wincing ever so slightly as his hand brushed against her laceration._

_"You have no idea how much I've missed you Garrus," she said, throwing her arms around his neck. "You're all I've thought about these last six months."_

_"I didn't realize my… what's the word… 'swag'? made that much of an impression,"_

_Shepard threw her head back, shaking with laughter, "Alright Mr. Vakarian… three things. One. Don't ever use that word again. You sound ridiculous. Two, stop taking advice from Joker, because I'm betting he taught you that word in the first place."_

_Garrus nodded, his mandibles widening._

_"And three. I lied when I said you're the only thing I've thought about. I've thought about you and the impending doom we're all facing with these 'Reapers'," she emphasized the last word with quotation fingers._

_He leaned his head against hers, saying, "That word did seem a bit silly. But I made you laugh, so that's all that matters."_

_He pushed her gently against the shower wall and kissed her. She returned the favor by brushing her fingers against the soft skin at the base of his fringe and running them down the upper portion of his spine. He shuddered in ecstasy._

_"Don't ever leave me for that long again," he whispered._

_"I won't. I promise. The same goes by the way. There's no Shepard without Vakarian. And I'll be damned if I can't do this without you," she said._

_He nodded his head in agreement, "I've always got your six."_

_In time, they both_ _eventually_ _broke that promise._

* * *

"Damnit Shepard," Garrus swore angrily, punching the dash in frustration. The elder Vakarian eyed his son sadly. Of all people, Tychus knew how heartbroken Garrus was.

The skycar swept into the parking garage of Garrus' apartment building, and he eased it down gently. Upon exiting the vehicle, Garrus turned toward his father, placing both arms on the top of the car.

"You're going to meet a wide range of people I've worked with, Dad," Garrus warned. "Some of their identities can, by no means, get out to the public. Others do not take kindly to insult or racism. Mercs, soldiers, doctors, biotics, asari, humans, quarians, krogans, I've worked with them all. If there is one thing we have in common, it's our fierce loyalty to Shepard. Whatever has happened to her or whoever is behind it, it's personal now, not only to myself, but to every member of her crew."

"I know we very rarely agree on much of anything. But Garrus, I want this. I don't care if it's the damn Shadow Broker or that crazy asari that claims to rule Omega, I'm coming with you."

Garrus had a feeling his father would be eating his own words before too long.

* * *

_She woke up, shivering in the cold night air. Glancing swiftly around her, she discerned she was lying on an abandoned park bench, rotted wood creaking beneath her._

_She sat into an upright position, realizing she was clad in dark grey armor. Where she had gotten it from, she was unsure. It barely clung together and was broken, shattered, burnt, dented and scratched in every way possible. Some pieces of it were shred to bits, while others were missing entirely. It was utterly beyond repair._

_'I've been here before', she thought, struggling to remember, though she recognized nothing. Trees surrounded her, but they were bare, bereft of leaves, dead branches swaying eerily in a slight wind. The wind itself brought a scent of death and decay, filling her nostrils and causing her to wrinkle her nose in disgust. Dead grass littered the parched ground in small tufts. The whole area was devoid of life, a barren and ruined wasteland; death seeped from every crevice, haunting her. It was a scene born of nightmares._

_Wary of what lurked in the dark shadows, she observed her surroundings a bit more. Inky shades loitered on the outskirts of her vision, seemingly flickering in and out of existence. They whispered to her, disturbing her in a way she didn't believe to be possible._

**_I am the vanguard of your destruction…_ **

**_Had to be me…_ **

**_I'll see you all when you get back…_ **

**_There is a realm of existence… you cannot even imagine…_ **

**_Come back, alive… it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you…_ **

_Every part of her body screamed, cried and moaned as she stood from the bench. Underneath the ruined armor, her body showed no signs of damage, not even a solitary scratch or bruise. She couldn't figure out why she was in such terrible pain._

_Her thoughts soon drifted to the voices she was hearing from the dark shades. She believed she recognized some of them, but couldn't quite place any._

_Her mind was a mess. She was unable to decipher much of their whisperings, though they sounded ominous, foreboding, warning her of some unforeseen threat._

_She approached the nearest one, not daring to look at it completely, out of fear it might vanish. She reached out her hand in a desperate attempt to grasp something definitive, something real. As her hand passed through the shade, it disappeared into the ether._

_The shadows and the trees, the empty park bench and the dead grass suddenly fell away beneath her. She tumbled in darkness for what may have been an eternity, but could have only been mere seconds._

_Unexpectedly, her feet slammed into solid ground. Blinking the abrupt change of darkness to blinding light away, she began to distinguish where she was._

_Pink and white cherry blossoms were in bloom on the trees surrounding her. Their sweet smell lingered in the air, driving away any remnants of death. She could hear several fountains trickling water. Balconies overlooked the large area while a set of main stairs ran up the middle to a large dais. She knew this is where the Council typically convened._

_"Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous. Your investigation is over Garrus," she heard an angry voice behind her say. Turning on heel, she saw the familiar face of a turian, though much younger and unscarred._

_"Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren," the turian said._

_"Garrus?" she said, taking a step forward. He nodded, a shadow of confusion flitting across his plated face._

_"What happened? Did the Crucible work? Are the Reapers dea-" she stopped abruptly. Something was off… she had done this… all of this before…_

_Cocking his head to one side, he said, "Commander? Are you alright?"_

_Someone placed an armored glove on her shoulder. It was Kaidan, naïve, cautious, wistful Kaidan. The person standing beside him though threw her off completely. She shook her head, not quite believing what she was seeing, "Ashley?"_

_Apprehension was flitted across the gunnery chief's features._

_"Yes, Commander?" she said slowly._

_"You can't be real… You died on Virmire… the bomb…,"_

_Ashley took a step back, alarmed._

_For a second time, everything shifted…_

_She was on Virmire, the planet etched her mind forever. A red holo flickered before her, mocking her. Garrus and a much younger Liara stood on either side of her, trepidation written upon both their faces._

_"Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything," Sovereign threatened._

_She snorted, "We exist because you allow it, demand our ending, the vanguard of our destruction. I get it. I know what you are and I 've already blown your kind from the sky." She waved her hand dismissively._

_She wanted the hell out of this place, out of her mind. She was beginning to understand this was not reality, her frustration and rage quickly rising._

_Quite unexpectedly, Sovereign's holo transformed, and she was left staring at an eerie image of herself._

_"You chose wrong, organic," it intimidated in a voice not entirely her own. "Even after all this time, you can not comprehend our existence. And as we extinguish all organic life from this realm, you will truly see us for what we are… and you will beg for death before the end… We await your arrival Shepard."_

_Everything went black, and she knew no more._

* * *

Garrus thrashed himself awake. Twisted in a single sheet, he rolled off his couch and onto the cold, hard floor with a resounding _thud_. He laid there for a few moments, trying to recall where he was. Wincing, he pulled a mug he had landed on, out from underneath him. He loosened himself from the sheet and chucked it on the couch.

Ever since returning home, after spending the majority of the last four years aboard the _Normandy_ , Garrus found himself unable to sleep in a turian bed more often than not. During the most recent stint aboard the Alliance ship, he had wound up sleeping in Shepard's quarters, becoming accustomed to the softness of the human bed. She had complained military beds were too hard, but Garrus found himself preferring them versus what he was used to.

He ran a hand over his fringe. The dream had utterly terrified him. And while bits of the dream slipped away with every waking moment, the last part alarmed him the most. It had all seemed so real, particularly the feeling of dread it had left inside him. He let out a long, low sigh just as Liara rounded the corner, coming from his guest bedroom.

"Bad dream, huh?" she asked, not sounding surprised.

"Yeah, a waste of good sleep, if you ask me," he muttered. The asari walked past him over to the large picture window in the living room, overlooking the streets. Cars still buzzed to and fro, people continued to walk the shattered pathways, and a slight wind blew through several stark looking trees across the road.

Garrus followed her path to the window and leaned against it, his arms crossing over his bare carapace. Scars etched across his body, discolored in the ambient light from the streets. He was no longer the same turian he was in his C-Sec days. Hell, even as he saw his faint reflection in the window, he thought he didn't even look the same.

"Does it still hurt?" Liara asked him, nodding toward the large scar on his abdomen put there by the shrapnel from that damn Mako. Garrus glanced down at it, shrugging.

"I suppose whenever I twist the wrong way or make any sudden movements, they all twinge a bit, reminding me that we've been through hell and back." He rolled his shoulders, his bones creaking, making several god-awful sounds. "What about you?"

"I get headaches. Not sure why exactly but sometimes they're severe enough to be nearly debilitating,"

"I don't suppose any of us came out of the war without some sort of scar," Garrus said slowly.

"I suppose we haven't," said Liara, frowning. The pair stood in the dark of the apartment for some time in silence, allowing the soft lights to wash over them.

"What do you think our chances are Garrus? I mean of finding her… alive?" Liara whispered to him finally.

"Shepard used to ask me what our odds were all the time…," he said deliberately.

"I think she was always so unsure of herself. Not others, mind you, but always of herself," she said.

"More toward the end, she was… In the beginning, she thought she could do anything, and she was full of herself… spirits she had an ego on her," Garrus allowed himself a brief chuckle. "After Cerberus brought her back though, she realized she wasn't invincible. She became more cautious, aware that more than just her life was at stake. The fate of the galaxy literally depended upon her, and she finally cracked, right in front of me, the night before the attack on the Cerberus station,"

He paused for a moment before breathing a sigh of regret, "I should have been there, Liara. I should have been there in that final push to the beam,"

"You mustn't blame yourself for that though. We were both injured. I would do it all over again if it meant I could have gone with her as well...," seeing the discomfort upon the turian's face, she quickly changed the subject. "You know… I've been jealous of your relationship with her Garrus, even from the start," Liara said sheepishly.

Garrus tilted his head, surprised at Liara's confession. She held her hands up defensively, a smirk playing across her lips, "Sorry, I've given you the wrong impression. What I meant was, I've always been a bit envious of how close the two of you were… are… Even during the hunt for Saren, when she was with Kaidan, she preferred your company above any one."

"Don't sell yourself short, Liara. She always spoke very highly of you. She saw you as a sister, a best friend. And I consider you… all of you… even Wrex, as family. A strange family… Yeah… But a family regardless…," his voice strayed off as Liara smiled, tears streaming down her freckled, blue face.

"Thank you Garrus… That certainly means a lot to me,"

"And to answer your question… I've lost a lot of hope over the last six months. And they've been a _long_ six months, mind you, but my gut is telling me she may not be alive... And all we'll have is a corpse and distant memories," he paused, not wanting to dwell on the possibility. Placing a claw over his chest, he continued, "My heart, on the other hand, is screaming we'll find her alive and extremely pissed we didn't find her sooner."

Liara chuckled, wiping her eyes, "I think it's about time to try for some more sleep. We have a big day in front of us, and an even bigger undertaking ahead. Goodnight." The asari turned and walked back to the guest bedroom, closing the door quietly behind her. Garrus returned to his couch, hoping it wouldn't take him long before he was asleep.

Tychus stood behind the door of Garrus' bedroom, where he was supposed to be sleeping. He had unintentionally overheard his son and the asari speaking about Shepard as he had awoken to grab a glass of water. Listening to their conversation, it pained Tychus how much he really didn't know about Garrus' life. It hurt even more to know how personally Garrus took losing his commander… his bond mate. The thought still made Tychus a bit more uncomfortable than he was willing to admit. But Garrus was right, it was time for petty differences to be set aside, unless they wanted to destroy each other, and become like the Reapers, bent on annihilating one another.

He thought briefly of his wife, and longed to hold her again, hoping one day he may be at peace with her.


	6. Rendezvous

Garrus tossed his black tactical bag into the small cargo hold of the passenger ship. In two days' time, the trio would be boarding the _Normandy_ to convene with Admiral Hackett to examine and discuss Liara's findings. They were unsure of who else they would be meeting, as Liara had not received any messages from the Alliance Admiral other than the one stating they needed to rendezvous as soon as possible.

He had dispatched a memo to Aurelia the previous night, instructing her to bring the space hamster from his office, along with several datapads and orders on what to do while he was away. He was pleased to see she arrived 15 minutes prior to their departure, with the furry creature in a portable tank. Taking the animal carefully from her, he handed it directly to Liara who was already situated in the compact cabin.

"Thank you. Shepard will kill me if I don't bring Boo back to her," he said, mandibles twitching in a slight grin.

"Sir, I pray I'm not overstepping my boundaries… but what makes you so sure she's still alive?" she asked wringing her hands together, uneasiness seeping through her dual toned voice.

Garrus paused before speaking again, contemplating his answer. He decided honesty was the best course of action, "Truth be told? I'm not so sure. But if I'm ever going to find any sort of closure, I need to find her, or at least, figure out what happened."

"I pray to the spirits you do recover what it is you're looking for. And I'm sure that if she didn't make it, then she's somewhere among the stars… waiting for you," she said, staring at her feet, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"That's a very nice sentiment, Aurelia," Tychus said, coming to stand beside Garrus.

Aurelia's eyes widened. Nearly forgetting herself, she snapped to attention and bowed exceedingly low.

Garrus tended to forget how much weight and influence his clan's name pulled. His father had done a considerable amount of work in his military and C-Sec days to see that it did. Now Garrus, whether he wanted to or not, was following in his father's footsteps bringing much honor back to the Vakarian name. Rumor had it, a Vakarian of old had disgraced the name, bringing shame and humiliation to the clan for generations. It wasn't until the last several decades, did the name start to mean something again. Garrus never cared much for honor or a name. He only did what he thought was truly right. Even during his stint on Omega, his mantra had been "whatever it takes". After all, he wasn't a very good turian. Though he supposed, it was due in part because he spent so much time among the other races. Perhaps their influence had rubbed off on him more than he realized.

"Detective Vakarian!" Aurelia said, awe in her words. "It's an honor sir."

Tychus nodded in acknowledgement, "The honor is mine."

"Aurelia, I'm sending you files I've prepared," Garrus said, tapping open his omni-tool and pulling up the data. "It's a protocol I've devised in case of my absence. I arranged it some time ago, in the hopes that it could be utilized. It gives instructions on what to tell the hierarchy, the press and the turian people."

He sent her the documents at once, "As far as anyone is concerned, I am attending a summit with the other races to discuss the reconstruction of the Citadel. You'll find several quarian admirals' signatures as well has a krogan battlemaster's, a message from the Shadow Broker and a letter from Alliance Command, all requesting this summit, should any become suspicious. They can all be reached on vid comm should the need arise, as well."

"Sounds like you've covered everything, Primarch," Aurelia said, glancing through the files.

"One more thing, should anything happen to me, a message will be sent to the hierarchy notifying them of my demise, additionally, it requests that a particular aid I know keep her job with the new Primarch. Though, I must admit, a new Primarch may be a bit friendlier than I've been," Garrus said with a sad smile.

"You have your reasons sir. Thank you," Aurelia said, bowing. "And good luck!" She waved and turned on heel and departed the way she had come.

Garrus threw a sideways look at his father saying, "Ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," said Tychus. And with that, the two turians climbed into the small ship and found their seats beside Liara.

* * *

As their journey began, Garrus tried to busy himself by taking apart his targeting visor, again. He had already made a dozen improvements on it and upgraded its software. Even with all the etched names, scratches, and it being broken to pieces three times, it was still better than any other on the market. He knew, because he had already looked.

Liara let Boo out of his container to roam around the cabin and stretch his tiny little legs. Garrus watched the hamster for a while, run back and forth under the seats. When he had finally tired himself, Boo shimmied his way up Garrus's leg and torso, and found a warm, comfortable spot in the cowl of his suit, just by his right ear.

Shortly after Boo fell asleep, curled up in a furry ball, Tychus eyed the hamster out of the corner of his eye.

"Alright, I have to ask… what the hell is that?" he said, a slight look disdain upon his face. Keeping his eyes on his visor, Garrus let out a low chuckle.

"It's called a space hamster," he said. "It's a souvenir pet from the Citadel."

"I don't think I've ever seen something so small have so much hair…,"

Liara snorted into her hand, "He belongs to Shepard, and she gets quite angry if anyone tries to mess with him."

"I don't know why she insisted on buying him in the first place," Garrus recalled. "She couldn't even keep her fish alive. Yet she swore up and down she would take care of this thing."

"How _did_ she manage to keep him alive after all this time?" Liara asked.

"She didn't… I wound up feeding the damn thing."

Liara threw her crested head back, in a fit of laughter. "Do you remember when her clone tried to get rid of him? 'Please send this to an animal shelter for proper disposal'?!"

"She was pissed! I'm surprised she didn't fly into a fit of rage after that and try to strangle a Reaper with her bare hands," Garrus sniggered.

"Knowing her though, she probably would have done so and succeeded. I mean she did take down that Reaper on Rannoch," Liara said.

"Don't forget, she summoned 'the mother of all thresher maws' to the one on Tuchanka!"

Tychus threw up a hand, "Excuse me? Clone? Mother of all thresher maws?"

Over a better portion of the rest of their flight, Garrus and Liara relayed their accounts to Tychus. They told him what they knew about the attack on Earth, discovering the plans to the Crucible, and all subsequent events following the invasion of Palavan and Menae. Though they told him nearly everything, they did leave out bits here and there; Tychus didn't need to know _everything_ just yet. Garrus did have to admit, some parts of their tale sounded ridiculous when told aloud. Tychus listened just as he had when Garrus had recounted his tale of the Collectors and the Omega 4 Relay.

They even told his father of the month they were stranded on an unknown jungle planet after the firing of the Crucible. The _Normandy_ 's system had been fried from the blast, and it had taken Tali and a dozen engineers to make the repairs necessary for an extended FTL flight back home. The relay system had been disabled from the events as well, leaving countless ships stranded all over the galaxy. Garrus knew it had taken months for some of them to be repaired as turians were still returning to Palaven every day. He still was a bit unsure of exactly what the Crucible had done in order to take out ships, synthetics, and the relay system. But everything was slowly beginning to turn around and return to normal.

In turn, Tychus told Liara and Garrus how he and Solana had been evacuated to the outskirts of the Sol system after they fled Palavan.

"We're being intercepted," the pilot of their small ship said over the intercom, jerking the trio from their conversation. Garrus jumped up and pushed his way toward the cockpit to take a better look.

They had just exited the Charon Relay, and an Alliance Kodiak was doing all it could to block their path.

Another voice interrupted them, "This is Alliance Command. We request you allow us to dock and transfer your passengers. You will then turn around and proceed to leave the way you came."

Though the circumstances were strange, Garrus immediately recognized the voice as Steve Cortez. He glanced at Liara who nodded, showing she understood who it was. Tychus was about to say something, his cop instincts shouting that something wasn't right, but Garrus shook his head to silence him.

"I suggest you do as he says," Garrus said to the pilot gently. The veteran pilot muttered angrily under his breath and opened the cargo bay doors. Thanking him, Garrus, Liara and Tychus, released the hatch in the cabin that lead to the cargo hold. Dropping below deck, they watched as the Kodiak eased itself inside. The bay doors finally sealed shut with a hiss, and Cortez jumped from the shuttle to greet Garrus and Liara with firm handshakes and a welcoming smile.

"It's good to see the both of you in one piece," he said.

"Likewise. So how have you been?" Garrus asked. Cortez shook his head, "No time for pleasantries. Hackett wanted you on base three hours ago."

"I thought we were boarding the _Normandy_ …," said Liara.

"Not yet. There's been a slight change of plans. Can't discuss it all right now, but we need to get you out of here and this passenger ship back through the relay ASAP,"

With a quick introduction of Garrus' father, they loaded their bags and the space hamster into the Kodiak. Exiting the passenger ship, Cortez swung the shuttle around to watch the other ship head back to the relay. When it hesitated a moment too long, he fired a warning shot to its left. With that, the small ship whipped around and hauled itself out of the system.

"Can't be too careful," muttered Cortez.

"Steve, what's with all the secrecy? Did Hackett find something else?" Liara asked. Tychus stood up straight, speaking, "I don't like this much either. I'd at least prefer a bit of an idea of what we're getting ourselves into."

"I understand, but if you can wait just a little longer…," said Cortez. The shuttle pilot pointed out the window, ahead of them, as they rounded Jupiter's largest moon. Three sets of eyes followed his finger. Orbiting Ganymede was one of the largest single species space stations Garrus had ever seen in his life. As it came fully into view, he noticed it had numerous docking ports scattered around it. A huge crane was attached to the top side, confirming that it was not yet completed. Four similar looking Alliance dreadnoughts hovered around the station like giant watch dogs. The station was certainly a sight to behold.

"Welcome to Aurora Station. It's become the guardian of the Sol system," Cortez said with a melancholy visage. Garrus' heart nearly lurched out of his chest as he heard the name of the station. "Obviously named for a famous Commander who risked her life on countless occasions to make sure that we would all see another day and a new era," said Cortez.

"The name is certainly fitting," said Liara, placing a hand on Garrus' shoulder.

* * *

 **_Reapers… Catalyst… Dark… Indoctrination… Being… Lazarus… Cerberus… Light… Energy…_ ** _These were not her thoughts… She didn't know where they came from, but they sounded as if they were from the mind of a mad man._

_She knew she was strapped to a table. She could feel her bare skin against the cold, hard metal and the shackles around her wrists, ankles and torso, but she couldn't bring herself to lift even just a finger or crack her eyelids._

_For only the third time in her life, she was terrified beyond comprehension. The first was the during the Skyllian Blitz, after she watched the last of the civilians helping her hold off the batarian pirates fall beside her. The second was the night before the attack on the Cerberus station and the final assault on Earth. She had been so unsure if they had done everything necessary to defeat the Reapers._

_Hell, as it stood, she still didn't know if they had won…_

_She had slowly gained consciousness over the last several… hours?... days?... She was uncertain of how much time had actually passed. With every fleeting moment, she remembered a bit more of who she was and of the events that had come to pass, bringing her to her current predicament. Her thoughts raced as she tried to separate fiction from reality and sift through these notions she was convinced were not her own._

**_Reapers… Catalyst… Dark… Indoctrination… Being… Lazarus… Cerberus… Light… Energy…_ ** _They repeated themselves over in her mind again and again, like an old, broken record. They became a chant... a litany that would soon drive her mad if she couldn't escape her own head._

 _Aside from them…_ _**Reapers… Indoctrination… Light…** _ _she could hear voices around her… Doctors? Nurses? Scientists? They didn't belong to anyone she could recall, and it didn't help she was unable to comprehend their mutterings. She could feel them probing nearly every fragment of her body with tools and sharp objects._

_She was aware she had sustained a massive number of injuries, every inch of her augmented body screaming in agony. And not for the first time, she wondered why her cybernetics hadn't, at the very least, numbed the pain._

**_Light… Dark… Catalyst…_ ** _The repetition was maddening…_

_She began to question if anyone would find her before she would become a shell of her former self, driven mad by her inane ramblings._

_Her thoughts drifted to a number of people as her memories came back. Her father disappeared when she was five. Ashley stayed behind on Virmire. Mordin… Thane… Legion… Anderson… herself…_

_She had to muster what resolution she had left and figure a way out of this situation… She was supposed to meet someone… someone…_

**_Reapers… Catalyst… Dark… Indoctrination…_ **

_I want something to go right. Just once, just…_

_May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead…_

_If this thing goes sideways and we both end up there, meet me at the bar…_

_Retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties…_

_Come back alive… It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you…_

**_Being… Lazarus… Cerberus… Light… Energy…_ **

_Oh god- Garrus!_

* * *

The hangar itself was massive. It could have easily held five _Normandy_ SR-2s and a hundred engineers for each one. Currently there were three Alliance dreadnoughts in the last stages of construction. There were no hangar doors, though an enormous mass effect field held the vacuum of space at bay. If this was only a fraction of the station, Garrus had a difficult time trying to imagine how large the rest of it was, or how many people it was able to house. The station was teeming with life.

From the traffic room, through glass windows overlooking the bay, he watched the engineers perform stress tests on the ships, maintenance workers check and recheck systems. When they had arrived at Aurora Station, Admiral Hackett had swiftly briefed them and asked Garrus to take a second look at the vid in an attempt to find anything that may give them a lead. Hackett left shortly after, saying he would be back in a bit, where they would convene with whoever else the Admiral was waiting for.

When the Admiral returned several hours later, Garrus, Tychus and Liara had watched the vid another half dozen times and compiled a laundry list of possible leads, none of which were completely solid, but better than what they previously had.

Hackett entered the traffic room followed by a number of people Garrus knew, some of whom he was startled to see. Jeff "Joker" Moreau, James Vega, Tali'Zorah, Urdnot Wrex, Samantha Traynor, Kaidan Alenko, and Miranda Lawson greeted him and Liara with friendly smiles, handshakes and in some cases even hugs. Garrus introduced each to his father as they passed through.

Before Hackett could lock the door, Javik sidled in to the surprise of nearly everyone present. The prothean looked around, eyebrows turned inward.

"The asari insisted I be present for this," he said, folding his arms and leaning casually against a console.

"What in the spirits' names is that?" Tychus asked, bending close to Garrus' ear.

"Prothean," Garrus hissed as Hackett began to pace around the room.

"Time is of the essence, so I'll get right to it. I have summoned all of you here because you are either the best or knew Shepard on a personal level,"

Garrus cleared his throat loudly, causing Hackett to pause, " _Know_ her… Sir,"

"We'll get to that Vakarian. Several days ago, we received intelligence from the Shadow Broker," Hackett said as he eyed Liara. "A vid feed more precisely. It shows what we believe to be… Well let's just watch and you can judge for yourself… Liara, if you would please."

Nodding, Liara opened her omni-tool, tapped a couple of windows, and brought the feed onto the large screen on the back wall. Before she could hit 'play', there was a knock on the door, and a final woman entered.

"About time Admiral. I was starting to think you weren't going to show," Hackett said.

The woman crossed the room and shook Hackett's hand. She was light skinned, with a number of freckles dotting her face and bare shoulders. Gun oil and resin permanently stained her fingers and hands. She wore a white sleeveless shirt, military fatigues and combat boots, her Admiral's jacket slung casually over her shoulder. Her hair was a light red, with several streaks of white jutting from her scalp. It was tied in a tight military knot at the back of her head, several strands falling into her face. Age lines and at least two scars marred her features.

"Steven, you know me better than that. My daughter's life hangs in the balance," she said.

The newcomer turned to face every one present. Garrus felt a sharp intake of breath throughout the room. Despite her age, Garrus recognized those blazing blue eyes instantaneously before Hackett could even make a proper introduction. She was a bit rougher looking than Garrus had imagined.

"Everyone, this is Admiral Hannah Shepard. She will be helping with this operation."

Liara was still standing next to the screen with her omni-tool opened. "Shall I continue?" she asked, finger hovering above "play".

Admiral Shepard nodded, "Please."

As the vid began, the entire room fell into silence, every person seemed to be holding their breath as one as they watched.

The surveillance feed was somewhat grainy and no audio was available. The camera the feed had come from was mounted above head height in a corner. It was able to move about to take in every angle of the small, sterile room and to track the movements of all within.

Medical supplies were laid out on a cart at the foot of a metal slab. A body was sprawled out on the slab, bound at the wrists, ankles and midsection. Though the face was blocked from camera view by a salarian doctor, Garrus was able to recognize several identifying marks. A number of people in lab coats shifted about, tapping notes into omni-tools. The salarian doctor at the head of the table wiped his brow, tossed a glistening scalpel onto another cart and pulled away his face mask. Looking quite pleased with himself, he took a step back from the table, signaling the others in the room to do the same. He drew a small box resembling some sort of transmitter from the depths of his lab coat and pressed a button.

The body reeled from side to side, back arching, causing the doctor and scientists to take another step back, fear crossing their faces. Camera focusing in on the body, the face was revealed. It was a woman, mouth opened in a silent scream, face etched in agony. She appeared to have sustained countless injuries either from the events of the Crucible or those that followed. She looked as if she had been tortured and put through a number of horrific medical procedures Garrus dared not to think about. She was also much thinner than he remembered, obviously malnourished, a skeleton and a shadow of the woman he loved, though in his heart he knew this _had_ to be the real Shepard.

Her entire body began to glow in a brilliant light, flooding the entire room. Restraints broke free and her hands lit up as she thrust a devastating Reave at the salarian doctor. He was forced into a standing position, features twisted and writhed in torment, before he crumbled to the floor, twitching from the neurological effects the biotic power had on him. She wreaked havoc on the remaining scientists and even managed to grab a pistol from a guard lying in a corner.

Quite suddenly, she threw her head back in pain, clawing at her face before she herself collapsed to the floor. A shade shifted from underneath the camera, and moved into the light of the room, glancing down at the shuddering woman at his feet. He turned around, faced the camera, revealing his face and switched off the feed.

The vid ended with static fuzz.

Hannah Shepard was the first to speak, "That son of a bitch-" Her voice shook with rage, as she overturned the table sitting in the middle of the room.

Garrus approached her carefully, "Admiral?"

She ignored him, and turned to walk out of the room. Upon reaching the door, she whipped around and looked at the small group, fury darkening her face, "That man at the end of the vid there? None of you know who he is, do you?' she spat vehemently, her eyes wet with tears. "That's my estranged husband, Cyrus Shepard, and Aurora's fucking father!"

Hannah Shepard slammed the door behind her as she left, leaving the room in a stunned silence.


	7. Into the Circle of Fire

Moments after Hannah Shepard exited, the entire room erupted in confusion and downright anger.

"Keelah!" Tali whispered behind her mask, shaking her head.

"What the shit was that?!" Joker shouted at the vid screen.

"Liara! Where did that come from?" Traynor asked.

"After everything that has happened, how can we even be sure that's the real Shepard?" Kaidan Alenko stated.

Garrus whirled around on his heel, not quite believe what he was hearing. He took a threatening step toward the Major, disregarding his father's hand on his shoulder, "Are you kidding me?" he growled, his subharmonics teeming with rage. "You're doubting her? _A_ _gain_? After everything she's done for you? After the shit you said on Horizon? After she saved you're ass and let you back on her ship?!"

"Are you questioning my feelings for her? I _never_ stopped loving her. I don't even know why she got with you in the first place," the Major said boldly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Because I was there for her!" Garrus shouted, standing up to a threatening height.

"Kaidan, listen to yourself," Liara said gently. "You're being unreasonable…"

"Unreasonable? Is trying to move on after two years, thinking the woman I loved is dead, unreasonable? Was I so wrong to question if it was really her on Horizon? Or question if Cerberus had done something to her?" Kaidan said furiously. "Or the fact that she completely disregarded me in favor of a _turian_?"

"Is that what this is about? Jealousy?" Tali exclaimed.

"Primitives," muttered Javik from his corner, shaking his head and looking faintly amused.

Garrus clenched both his fists. He swore to whatever spirits listening, if the Major said just one more word… He could feel Archangel creeping steadily back to the surface.

"Alenko, I know for a fact that _is_ Shepard. You don't work on someone for two years to bring them back without knowing every minor detail about them," Miranda said coolly.

Kaidan's fists glowed a faint blue, and Garrus placed a hand on his sidearm, ready to draw it, should the need arise.

"STAND DOWN! ALL OF YOU!" Hannah Shepard bellowed, causing everyone present to nearly jump out of their skins and snap to attention, silently garnering the same respect her daughter could when she entered a room. She had stormed back through the door without anyone taking notice. "You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. My daughter is out there, fighting for her life, and you're all here squabbling over her like a bunch of angsty juveniles!"

"Now I see where Shepard gets her temper from," Wrex rumbled thoughtfully.

Garrus shifted back beside his father, not daring to meet those furious blue eyes, while Kaidan hung his head apologetically, his biotics dying at his fingertips, muttering, "Sorry Ma'am."

An awkward silence hung in the air, until Hackett cleared his throat.

"Hannah, you mentioned the man in the vid? Your husband? He's-"

"Aurora's father? Yeah, that son of a bitch is her father," Admiral Shepard spat in disgust. Kneading her eyes with her fingers, she continued, "He left us, when Aurora was five. At first, I believed he had been killed by batarian pirates. At the time of his disappearance, he was working on Omega with a salarian STG who went by the name Mordin Solus-"

"Mordin? Our Mordin? The same pyjak that cured the genophage?" Wrex growled, disbelief showing on his scarred features.

Hannah Shepard shrugged, "Possibly. I can't know for sure. Cyrus and the people he worked with often used aliases to cover their tracks. The work he did was frequently dangerous. Not many people would take kindly to the types of things he was developing or studying."

"Yup, that certainly sounds like our salarian friend, alright," said Wrex.

"So what happened to him, Admiral," Miranda said almost too eagerly. Hannah Shepard arched an eyebrow, "You're the one that saved my daughter after the Collector attack on the SR-1?" Miranda nodded slowly.

"I never thanked you properly for that, Miss Lawson. Without her, I don't know where we would be right now."

Miranda flashed the Admiral a fleeting smile, and inclined her head in response.

"Anyways, I thought he had been taken out by pirates, or, at the very least, mercenaries. But then, a number of years later, that bastard contacted me again. He wanted to see his daughter."

Garrus could hear the bitterness in Hannah Shepard's voice, bubbling to the surface. This was all new to him, and he found it odd that Shepard had never mentioned her father, not once, in all the years he had worked with her, known her, developed a relationship with her. But then... on the other hand, he had never mentioned his mother to her…

"Just as any respectable mother would do, I told him to fuck off. He made all sorts of lousy excuses, of course. 'He was working to save humanity.' 'He was indisposed.' 'He was working with Cerberus to bring humanity to the apex of the galaxy.'

Miranda straitened, holding up a hand and interrupting, "Wait, your husband worked for Cerberus?"

"Yes, I believe he was working on something called Project Aleya… or so he said. Though he never told me what it entailed. Do you know it?"

Miranda shook her ebony head, "No I don't… Strange… I once thought I knew everything about Cerberus, but I'm beginning to see the Illusive Man didn't tell me much of anything."

Disappointment flooded Hannah Shepard's face. "Well that's neither here nor there, I suppose. The important thing is finding my daughter."

"I may be able to contact some of my old… associates… from Cerberus, see if I can scrounge up any information about this Project Aleya," Miranda reassured. "I'll contact Jacob Taylor. That wife of his may know something. It's a long shot, but…"

"But it's a good place to start… Thank you," finished Admiral Shepard.

Hackett looked at Garrus, and he knew it was his turn to present his findings from the vid. Garrus swallowed nervously before speaking, "There are a number of clues we found while reviewing the security footage." He brought opened his omni-tool interface and tapped 'rewind' until he reached the beginning of the vid and paused it. "The first thing we found was this is indeed Cerberus. Or at least a Cerberus facility or ship." He pointed to a small horizontal C located in the upper right hand corner of the vid, plastered on a wall behind a doctor.

"Second of all, there is not a doubt in my mind that this is the real Shepard," Garrus continued, eyeing Kaidan who was shifting uncomfortably across the room. He forwarded the vid to the first frame of Shepard's body lying on the metallic table. "As you can clearly see, Shepard has her ID numbers tattooed down the side of her thigh. Don't believe me?" He pulled Shepard's dog tags from around his neck and tossed them to Hackett. "They are identical to the ones on these." Hackett compared the tags to the paused vid. "She had them tattooed on after the Lazarus Project… in case something happened again… she wanted…," Garrus swallowed hard. "She wanted her body to be easily identified…"

Nodding resolutely, Hackett handed them to Admiral Shepard. She glanced at the tags, a deep and overwhelming sadness overtaking her.

"Where did you find these?" she asked, clutching them tightly to her chest.

Garrus couldn't even bring himself to look into those eyes… her eyes… his Shepard's eyes… blue, defiant, blazing, full of life…

"She gave them to me before the final push toward the beam," his voice shook with every word, reflecting the same sorrow the Admiral had upon her face. There was a brief moment of silence around the traffic room before Garrus decided he ought to continue.

"After viewing the footage several times over, I believe I know who that salarian doctor is," he said motioning toward the vid screen. "I'm almost positive it's Maelon Heplorn."

"That lizard who was experimenting on the krogan females on Tuchanka?" Javik asked. Wrex shifted his attention to the prothean. Javik shrugged, "The Mordin salarian informed me of the situation."

"They're amphibian, Javik," Liara said through gritted teeth.

"As I've said before, they use to eat flies and lick their own eyes…"

"Would the two of you just shut the hell up? You sound like an old married couple with your constant bickering," Joker groaned. Liara rolled her eyes, while Javik bared his pointy teeth and chuckled.

"I thought he was working in his own clinic on Omega, after Shepard convinced Mordin not to kill him." Wrex said.

"If I can remember correctly that was before Cerberus took over the asteroid and Shepard helped Aria T'Loak take it back," Garrus said. Tychus frowned, "The same crazy asari that runs Omega?"

"Yes, father, the very same," Garrus said waving him off a bit more rudely than he intended. Now was not the time to go into great detail about the political runnings of the seediest colony in the galaxy.

"Shepard never mentioned seeing Maelon while she was there," Traynor mused.

"Maybe Cerberus captured him," Miranda stated.

"Or he volunteered to help them to save his own hide," Wrex said.

"That's exactly what I thought," said Garrus pointedly.

Hannah Shepard turned to face Liara, but not before eyeing Hackett. "So from what I understand we have our own Shadow Broker?"

Tychus dropped into a chair, shaking his fringed head in disbelief. Apparently he had not anticipated his son knowing such a large amount of influential people throughout the galaxy.

Liara nodded, "I'll see if I can dig anything up as to where he went after the Battle of Omega."

"Do you mind sending me a copy of the vid, Liara? I want to attempt to clear the footage up and restore a bit of the sound, if possible," said Traynor.

"Of course,"

Admiral Hackett stepped forward, "I want everyone to pull their resources, old contacts, files, and any discarded messages together. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that we find the Commander as soon as possible."

Garrus watched Hackett intently. After spending so much time aboard the _Normandy_ , he was able to pick up on human expressions. The look of distress upon the Admiral's face was fleeting but unmistakable. He knew something he wasn't telling the rest of them, hiding something, and it made Garrus uneasy.

"We reconvene in 48 hours. Dismissed," Hackett saluted and left the room abruptly. The remaining members followed after him, speaking in low tones to one another pertaining to the topics discussed and the possibilities of where their Commander may or may not be found.

Garrus faced his father, saying in almost a whisper, "The Admiral is keeping something from us. There's more information here that he's not letting on, and I don't like it."

"Son, he's a high ranking officer of the Alliance, of course he knows more than he's telling else, but you have to respect the chain of command," Tychus said quietly.

As the traffic room emptied, Hannah Shepard walked over to Garrus, waiting patiently for him to finish his conversation with his father. Tychus took notice and his glance shifted to the Admiral. Garrus turned around, his heart rate quickly rising. He was leery of the conversation to come.

Hannah Shepard reached out and took his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze and replacing the tags back in his palm.

"If she gave you these, I… I want you to have them. Aurora once told me that I wouldn't approve of her relationship, and when I found out she was with a turian, I was livid... furious... She knew I fought in the First Contact War," she said. Garrus' mandibles went slack. He was at a loss for words. "But several of the _Normandy_ 's crew members found it necessary to tell me that you were different. I know how much you care for her, Vakarian, and I wouldn't want anyone else to lead this expedition."

She turned to face Tychus, "You've raised a good son. Any parent ought to be proud of what he's accomplished."

"I'm starting to realize how true that is, Admiral," Tychus said, his mandibles flaring. She shook both their hands once more and left the room, following after the others.

As it was, Garrus thought, things didn't turn out quite the way he had imagined they would, but it was a good start, minus Hackett not being completely truthful. Hopefully the rest of this operation would go just as well, though he had his reservations about it. Straightforward and easy missions were few and far between when it came to Shepard's crew, and there was no reason that this one would be any different.

* * *

_The door was shut. Voices could be heard from down the hall and on the first level. The party had been a success, though with tomorrow, shore leave would come to an end and the crew would be back aboard the Normandy to resume their involvement in the war. The festivities were settling down for the night as guests finally began to pass out on whatever surface they found most comfortable. The bedroom was spinning, and they both had a bit more than their fair share to drink._

_Shepard was down to an N7 tank top and a pair of tiny, black, tight shorts. She had stripped off the majority of her clothes, complaining how hot she was. She already had Garrus pinned down on the bed. She giggled as she slipped her hands through his unzipped top, hastily ripping it off his carapace, perhaps a bit too eagerly. He swore he heard her purr as she kissed the side of his neck. He knew he would soon follow suit if she kept this up._

_After several moments more of teasing him, she jumped off him and walked backwards to the bathroom, beckoning him to follow._

_"Why… don't we take a cold shower, cool off a bit…," Shepard cooed seductively, and then added, "My damn implants don't seem to be working fast enough."_

_Garrus snorted and swung his legs over the side of the bed to follow her, but not before taking notice that she had stopped in the bathroom doorway._

_"What is it?" he asked. She leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest, head turned down._

_"What is it?" he repeated, walking behind her, peering over her shoulder. Shepard pointed to the bathroom floor with one hand, as the other suppressed a laugh._

_Javik had his head in the toilet, clutching the sides of it with both his hands. He was still dressed in full armor, sick all over and looked utterly ridiculous. He slurred incoherently, his voice echoing off the inside of the bowl. Garrus caught only a few words as the prothean rocked back and forth on his knees._

_"In my cycle… seek vengeance… throw them all out the airlock… tasty human beverage…," and with that, Javik spewed into his porcelain throne, triggering Shepard to quickly shut the door, her nose wrinkled in disgust._

_"He's survived two Reaper wars and 50,000 years… I think he'll survive hurling his insides out for one night," Shepard said with a wicked smirk. Garrus grabbed her around the waist with one hand as the other wrapped around the back of her neck._

_"That's not very nice, Shepard," he whispered into her ear._

_"Maybe… you should teach me a lesson," she said alluringly. "I think he's out for the night, so there's not a chance he'll hear us."_

_Garrus mustered what strength he had in his semi-drunk stupor, and hoisted her into the air, carrying her to the bed. Laying her onto the already disheveled sheets, he climbed on top of her._

_Settling over her, he twisted her ember colored hair between his fingers, as she caressed his scarred mandible._

_"How did someone like you ever fall for someone like me?" he asked quietly, his subharmonics trembling. She went still for a moment, regarding him curiously. Her makeup was smeared a bit, and she had dark circles under her eyes, but it only made his heart pound more earnestly against his ribcage, knowing she was real, and not just an illusion._

_She took his marred face in both her hands, lifting her head off the pillows to kiss him fully on the mouth. Laying her head back down, her hair spreading out like a halo, she sighed, "Garrus… you've always had my six. Your loyalty to me as a squadmate and as a friend has been unwavering, even from the beginning. I say 'jump', and you leap first to make sure the landing's okay. I trust you, more than I've trusted anyone in my life. You should know that by now…"_

_"I do… It's just good to hear you say it every once in a while," he said, his mandibles flaring into a cocky grin. She punched him playfully on the shoulder before saying, "I lov-"_

_Garrus immediately placed a talon over her lips, "Don't say it… Not yet, at least… I don't want you to speak it, and something happen to one of us before this war is over. I-"_

_"There's no Shepard without Vakarian… you know that… If you go, I go with you…" she said in a low tone. Garrus closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, breathing her scent in._

* * *

Reality came flooding back and hit Garrus in the chest with the force of a dozen angry krogan. He was sitting in an office chair not made for turians. He and his father had temporarily taken up residence in an officer's room on the lower levels of Aurora Station.

Apparently having drifted off into a restless nap, Garrus rubbed his eyes and spun the chair around. His father was standing over him, his arm extended, as if he was the one who pulled Garrus from his dreams.

"Are you alright, Garrus?" Tychus asked. "You were mumbling in your sleep."

Garrus leaned forward in the chair, running a hand slowly over his fringe. The memories and the dreams did nothing to improve the situation. If anything, they made him more furious and impatient to find Shepard. Sitting around trying to find clues was not how he intended this to begin.

"I'm fine," he lied, standing up with a groan. His damn abdomen was throbbing again. On occasion, he regretted quitting his physical therapy too soon, but the life of a Primarch didn't leave much room for luxuries such as that. He figured, once they took flight, he might resume conditioning, go through the turian boot camp training once more. It was a rigorous exercise regimen, but he hoped it would take the edge off.

"I spoke with Solana…," Tychus said carefully.

"And?" Garrus said, pacing the length of the small room.

"And she apologizes for the things she said to you. Said she's been worked up since your mother passed, and you, running off again was the match in the powder barrel."

"Straw that broke the camel's back…," Garrus muttered. Tychus tilted his head at his son, confusion written all over his face. "Sorry… human expression. So I sent her over the edge?"

"She had it in her head that's we would return to a normal life… a normal family… after the war was over…," Tychus continued.

"Nothing's ever going to be the same though. She needs to realize that, Dad. She-"

"Your sister is ten years younger than you. Do you remember how brash and stubborn you were at her age?" the elder Vakarian asked. After a moment he said, amusement in his subvocals, "Spirits, Garrus, you're still as stubborn as they come."

Garrus' mandibles twitched into what could have passed as a smile, "I suppose some things _don't_ change."

"So what time doe we have to meet with Hackett?" Tychus asked, glancing at his opened omni-tool.

"In about 15 minutes. We should start to head up there now though,"

Both turians grabbed their tactical bags and left the room as they had found it, in the event they would not be returning. Walking through the corridors of the barracks to the elevators, several recruits saluted them as they passed. Upon reaching the end of the hall, Garrus spotted Wrex waiting for the elevator to come, two rookies eyeing the krogan with suspicion. Garrus noted that Wrex did nothing to alleviate their wariness. In fact, he jumped at the recruits with a growl, causing them to stubble backwards and take off in the opposite direction. Wrex leaned back with a satisfied chuckle.

The krogan warlord greeted them with his usual gruffness by nodding, "Garrus."

"Wrex," he said, shaking the krogan's hand before entering the elevator. "So... how's the family?"

"Bakara's fine, just popped out three little ones with another on the way,"

Garrus let out a long, low breath, "Uhh- Congratulations?"

"I told you we can pop 'em out fast."

Tychus shifted ever so slightly beside Garrus. Wrex took notice and said, "Don't worry old man. I'm not about to let my people become blood thirsty, war mongers again."

"Do you really think that you can keep that from happening?" Tychus asked.

"Already have. With the Reapers gone, we can focus on rebuilding Tuchanka, and restoring it to its former glory," Wrex declared proudly.

"I certainly hope-" Tychus paused as Wrex shot him a glare. The elder turian shifted course, wanting to avoid any more conflict than what was necessary, "Thank you, for the help on Palaven. You've proven the krogan can be trusted."

Wrex dipped his head in response just as the elevator doors slid open, revealing the corridor that led to the traffic room.

As they walked out of the elevator and rounded a corner, Tali hastened to meet them.

"Where have you been?" she breathed, exasperatedly. "Liara sent a message an hour ago. We've been waiting for you to get up here!"

Garrus glanced at his father and Wrex, both shrugging.

"Did someone find something?" he asked. Tali huffed and threw her hands into the air, "I can't believe you didn't get the message! Liara received another vid."

Garrus pushed past the quarian, and into the room. Hackett intercepted him before he could reach Liara. The Admiral placed a careful hand on Garrus' shoulder, looking him square in the eyes.

"I'm- I don't think you want to see this, son," he said solemnly. Garrus looked around the traffic room. There were only a handful of people sitting at the table. In fact, besides himself, his father, Wrex, Tali and Hackett, just Hannah Shepard and Liara remained. Liara, he saw, was sat beside Admiral Shepard, who had her head bent nearly to her lap, her hands covering her face and her shoulders shaking… as if she was crying.

"Admiral… with all due respect… I _need_ to see that footage," Garrus said, fear trembling on the edge of his dual toned voice.

"It's bad," Hackett said, turning to Liara. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Garrus quickly envisioned the worst possible scenario: Shepard dead before they ever had the chance to find her.

Liara hastily whispered some consoling words to Hannah Shepard. Standing up, she pressed 'play' on her omni-tool once more.

The vid was shot in the same room as before, except, this time there was sound. The same medical slab was propped up in the center of the room. Shepard was still strapped to it with ankles and wrists bound by metal clamps. Burns ran up and down one side of her body. Her head had been shaved and lolled to the side. A trickle of blood ran from the corner of her mouth, and her blue eyes were glazed over and bleary.

"Bring me Shol, and she may not have to die," she said in a manner that was not entirely her own.

After several moments, her eyes slid back into focus, and she looked right at the camera… straight through wires and hardware, between time and space, and directly at Garrus, pleading in her own voice, "Please Garrus…"

Cyrus Shepard strode into view, fury and frustration etched upon his features. He back handed his daughter across her bruised and broken face, and switched off the camera.

Garrus felt a swell begin to take hold in his chest, a dark shadow rising from the depths of a long slumber. His vision began to sharpen, his senses heightened tenfold. It was as if he was hyped up on half a dozen stims all at once. He wanted to tear the room asunder and shoot anyone that attempted to get in his way. An animalistic rage surged to the surface, and it was all Garrus could do to keep it in check. Rage was beginning to boil, and it wouldn't be long until all those involved would pay dearly for their mistakes.

"I want the _Normandy_ ," he growled, a deep and threatening rumble, his head buzzing, and Archangel finally emerging.


	8. From Ashes

"I want the _Normandy_ ," Garrus repeated to a stunned Admiral Hackett.

"Umm... Vakarian... haven't you heard?" the Admiral said slowly, regaining his composure. "The _Normandy_ 's been decommissioned…"

"Excuse me?!" the turian said furiously.

Hannah Shepard stood, quickly wiping the away the tears, "What Steven says is true… The ship is in the first stages of disarmament. They dry docked it after it returned to the Sol System..."

"Then we get Alenko to release it under Spectre status," Garrus said.

"No… the Council is still in disarray. They have no power until the Citadel is rebuilt. Each species remains in control of its own space. So Alenko's Spectre status goes unrecognized until that time," Hackett said, shaking his head.

"Can't you release it?" Liara said desperately. Hackett calmly said, "My hands are tied. I signed off on the paperwork three weeks ago to begin proceedings."

"You're the head of the damn Alliance military!" roared Garrus. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Hackett had gathered them here to discuss a rescue mission but was barricading their only real chance of finding the Commander. The _Normandy_ had to be the ship used for this operation. Its stealth system was second to none, and the defensive capabilities were top of the line. It was one of the fastest ships in Council space, not to mention its impressive armament which Garrus had calibrated himself, to perfection.

"Garrus... She's seen more than her fair share of battle...," said Admiral Shepard. "Isn't it time to let her rest?"

"This may be the perfect opportunity to take a leaf out of Captain Anderson's book, however," Hackett said, interrupting Garrus' thoughts.

At the same moment, Joker hobbled into the room and took a seat at the table, followed by Traynor and Cortez.

"What are you implying, sir," Traynor asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I think I like where this is going," the flight pilot said, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

Admiral Hackett folded his hands behind his back and walked over to the large window that over looked the hangar, "What I meant to say was that if the _Normandy_ somehow was stolen under the tight security of this station, and managed to get past the Charon Relay, there would be nothing I could do about it… I have a number of other issues that are a bit more pressing than a stolen warship…"

"Are you suggesting we steal the _Normandy_? The fastest, most expensive, and heavily guarded ship in the Alliance fleet?" Tychus asked incredulously, frowning. Garrus' mandibles flared in alarm, while Wrex grunted his approval, and Tali giggled ever so slightly.

"Steven, I don't like this…," Hannah Shepard said, folding her arms across her chest and sinking into one hip in a very Shepard sort of way.

"With all due respect ma'am, taking the _Normandy_ right from under the noses of the Alliance is a cake walk compared to what we've been through," Joker shrugged. "We've done it before..."

Admiral Shepard opened her mouth to argue, but quickly shut it, changing her mind.

Garrus was inclined to agree with him. This would be relatively simple in comparison to Reapers, thresher maws, a rocket to the face and a homicidal clone.

"I'll admit, when you do this, the alarms will sound. You'll have at least a dozen fighters and two, possibly three dreadnoughts on your ass trying to bring you down. As the head of the damn Alliance military, as Vakarian so eloquently put it, I will have to issue a command to scramble the warships," said Hackett.

Admiral Shepard sighed wearily, rubbing her eyes, "And what happens when they get back? Stealing an Alliance ship is treason, in the highest court."

"I'll see that it is not, especially when they find your daughter and bring her back," Hackett reassured.

"While I can't condone this in any way, I'm still coming with you," Hannah Shepard said defiantly, her blue eyes piercing Garrus to the core.

"Great! When do we leave?" Joker said enthusiastically. "I don't think I can stand around waiting much longer."

"Where exactly is the _Normandy_?" Liara said.

A fleeting smirk flashed across Admiral Hackett's face, "It's here, in a secured bunker on the lowest level. You'll need to hack your way in."

Tali snorted, "Easy enough."

"Garrus, do you have any ideas of where we should start?" Cortez asked.

"I have a few… But I think we should focus on getting past the Charon Relay first before we plot our course. And to answer Joker's question, we'll leave tomorrow night. Liara, I want you to send an encrypted message to every member of the crew… the old crew… stating our departure, if they want to help, great. If not, or they aren't here by 2300, we leave without them. We only get one shot at this," Garrus said turning to Cortez. "I want you in the cockpit with Joker. He-"

Joker interrupted, holding up a hand, "I can get us out of here myself. I don't need a co-pilot,"

"Joker, you're the best damn pilot I've ever seen, but for nearly two years, you had the help of an onboard AI," said Garrus.

"I got us off that damn jungle planet without EDI," the flight pilot said quietly. Garrus knew EDI was a sore spot for Joker to talk about, but once again, it was a reminder they had all lost someone over the course of the war.

So Garrus had to approach this tactfully, "We'll be pursued until we reach the relay. I just want two pairs of eyes to make sure we get out of the system in one piece, then she's all yours… Okay?"

Joker hung his head in defeat, "Yeah... Alright..."

"So it's settled. I want all updates and progress reports sent to my private terminal. With any luck, this will be quick and painless, and we'll have the Commander back where she belongs in no time," Hackett said.

"Doubtful. Nothing's ever quick and painless," Wrex grumbled.

"Seems the more trouble we have, the more successful we are," Tali said, shaking her helmet.

"An unfortunate sentiment, but also true," Liara said. There was a general mumble of agreement around the room.

"Good luck… to all of you," Hackett saluted and left the traffic room.

* * *

Thirty six hours later, Garrus found himself in a crowded corridor outside a large door that read "Hangar 18". Beside him, stood his father and Liara, with Tali crouched next to the door panel, ready for orders to hack it. Behind him, Joker, Cortez, Traynor, Wrex, Javik, Miranda, Alenko, James Vega, Dr. Chakwas, and Admiral Shepard huddled together quietly, along with a small group of engineers who had worked onboard the _Normandy_ during the war. The engineers had been rounded up specifically by Traynor, as she knew who could be trusted.

"Bakara sends her regards… Doesn't like the fact that I'm going on a rescue mission, but I owe Shepard a personal favor for what she's done for my people. Also, Grunt says he wishes he could be here, but I told him to stay on Tuchanka," Wrex whispered.

"Sshh!" Garrus hissed, switching on his visor and syncing it with Tali's omni-tool. He could see the heat signatures of security and maintenance workers beyond the hangar door. There were at least three dozen personnel roaming lazily back and forth, in and around the ship. The ship itself, showed up as a black mass on his HUD. It was powered down and cold, meaning it would take several minutes for the core to heat up to a point where they could make a break for the relay. This was already turning into a bit more complicated than he had initially anticipated, and he let out a low, guttural growl to voice his frustration.

"Alright, I want everyone to switch to disruptor ammo and concussive shots only. I'd like to avoid any deaths, if possible," Garrus said, unfolding his Black Widow. Everyone followed suit, pulling pistols from holsters and disengaging magnetic locks on the back of their armor. He saw the orange tick on every gun light up as they switched their ammo, including the engineers.

"On the count of three, Tali hacks the lock, and we fan out, knocking out as many personnel as possible before they trigger the alarms. According to Hackett, once the alarms trip, we have between five and seven minutes before the fighters are scrabbled and launched," Garrus said scanning the faces of all those present. They all had the same resolute look of defiance, determined in their mindsets to get the job done.

"Joker, the second this door unlocks, you and Cortez take the engineers, Dr. Chakwas, and Traynor to the ship. We need the _Normandy_ powered up as soon as you get on it. I'll toss out some smoke bombs to cover you, and the rest of us will be onboard after the hangar is cleared." Garrus ordered.

The flight lieutenant looked doubtful, "I don't know Garrus. She's been shut down for quite some time. It'll take at least eight minutes before we can get her in the air, and that's pushing it."

"No matter how we look at it, it's going to be a tight squeeze," breathed Cortez.

"Story of our lives," Garrus muttered. "Tali?"

"Ready as I'll ever be…" the quarian dipped her head.

"Three… Two… One!"

Tali's fingers were lithe and swift as they moved across her omni-tool, then to the door panel. In next to no time, the lock turned green.

Nodding to all present, Garrus punched the lock and it slid open. The moment he spotted the first of the security force, he chucked several smoke bombs in their direction. Shouts erupted and gunfire went off immediately. Garrus signaled for Joker and Cortez to take off toward the ship, through the smoke. As they disappeared from view, he motioned for the rest of them to spread out, taking down personnel one by one as they went.

Though he wasn't killing anyone or anything, Garrus still reveled in the firefight. His heart raced and adrenaline surged through him as he sent a concussive shot towards a burly, white haired man fumbling with a heat sink. Politicians and political agendas were definitely not his style, but this… this was where he belonged, on the battlefield. He tapped a button on his targeting visor, and the music thundered through his ears, taking hold of him. This was his dance, and he knew every step by heart. Every shot, every move and mistake the Alliance security made, he was able to compensate and knock them back.

On the fringes of his sight, Garrus was able to see his father locked in hand to hand with another guard. Wrex charged through four men before head butting a fifth. Biotics flared to life as Alenko, Miranda, Liara and Javik unleashed their powers and hurled men into the air and across the room. Garrus briefly observed as Hannah Shepard slid into cover and fired across the hangar, knocking out several others as she went. She handled her Avenger with all the dexterity of a born soldier.

A guard sped towards her from behind, brandishing his pistol. Garrus spotted him and sent a concussive shot his way, sending him into a crumbling heap on the floor.

"I got your six Shep-!" Garrus started to shout, before he realized he was losing himself in the heat of the moment. He quickly shook off the odd feeling it left him. Hannah Shepard was not his to protect, no matter how much she and her daughter looked alike.

"Garrus, finish up and get your asses to the _Normandy_ now!" Joker yelled through his earpiece. He could hear the whine of the alarms going off in the hangar bay and the roar of the _Normandy_ as it rumbled to life, over the music from his visor.

He watched Liara toss the last of the guards into the air with a biotic throw, and motioned for them to follow.

As one, they surged up a set of air-stairs on the back of a vehicle and stumbled through the airlock.

"Find somewhere to strap yourselves in!" Garrus barked at the crew. He clamored through them and raced to the cockpit to find Joker and Cortez already strapped into their safety harnesses, flicking through control holos. As soon as Joker noticed the turian behind him, he punched the airlocks shut and disengaged the anchors holding the ship in place.

"This is about to get a hell of a lot worse before it gets better," Cortez said over the intercom as Joker maneuvered the _Normandy_ from the hangar and out of Aurora Station. Just as they dropped into space, a huge dreadnought came face to face with them.

"Oh shit, shit, shit," Joker stammered, firing a warning shot from the Javelin torpedoes. A voice came over the loud speakers saying, "This is Alliance Command. Surrender the _Normandy_ , or we will be forced to fire upon you."

"Like hell you will," the flight pilot muttered. He killed the main thrusters and the ship dropped below the dreadnought's line of sight. Three fighters caught sight of them and surged ahead, but Joker was faster at the controls and had the superior ship. He outmaneuvered them with ease just as they fired upon the _Normandy_.

If Garrus hadn't seen Joker do it before, he would never guess that a ship as large as this could barrel roll and bank as quickly as it could. Before the dreadnought could haul itself around in their direction, they were already out beyond Saturn, with the Charon Relay in view.

"Where to first, big guy?" Joker said, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Set a course for Omega. Aria's about to learn a new mantra...," Garrus turned on heel and headed back toward the CIC. "Don't fuck with Archangel."


	9. Suffering Vengeance

"It will be another several hours before we reach Omega," Joker had said after exiting the relay. "So stop staring over my shoulder and go calibrate something."

Garrus had begrudgingly turned away, skulking from the cockpit. He figured he'd follow Shepard's old path around the ship, checking in on everyone, making sure they were settling in.

Cortez had already left the cockpit in favor of the hangar. He mentioned to Garrus that one Kodiak was still intact, while the other was nearly disassembled, parts spread randomly throughout the cargo bay. Cortez had reassured the turian he could reassemble the shuttle with relative ease. Vega had also take up residence in the hangar, preferring the quiet hum of the ship to engineers shouting algorithms to one another. He stood over his work bench, fumbling with a number of heat sinks. The creepy husk head sat on the corner of the bench, glaring at him the majority of the time, but swiveled its head every so often the scream at something randomly. It seemed to keep Vega slightly entertained, and when Garrus asked the Marine to toss it out the airlock, Vega laughed and said he was keeping it safe for Shepard.

Half the engineers stationed themselves in the CIC, checking and rechecking systems, while the other half were on the engineering deck doing the same. Tali was also in engineering, but reported she was also running to the AI core if Traynor needed her help. The pair ran diagnostic checks of EDI's systems hoping to restore her. Tali was certain she could take what she learned about the geth to help the AI. Though Garrus wasn't as convinced.

Javik returned to his old room in engineering, insisting he must wash his hands. The moment they had entered the Sahrabarik System, his agitation became apparent. He cursed under his breath as he scrubbed his hands in vain, muttering, "This isn't right," repeatedly.

Kaidan busied himself in the Starboard Observation by dismantling and cleaning his weapons, biotics sparking from him as he grew more and more frustrated.

He found Liara and Miranda in the old CO's room, heads bent low over a scattering of datapads, monitors flickering overhead. Garrus knew they were comparing notes and compiling files on every bit of information they could scrounge up.

Entering the medbay brought memories flooding back of leaving Shepard behind on the battlefield, of crash landing on an uncharted world, and of spending too much time in this room, healing when he should have been searching for his bondmate. Shaking the odd feeling it left him, Garrus spotted Dr. Chakwas. She sat at her desk, shuffling through her omni-tool, counting her inventory. Upon hearing his footsteps, she swiveled her chair around to greet him.

"Garrus, I've been meaning to speak with you," she said, standing from her chair.

"What can I do for you Karin?" he asked.

"I've been going over my supplies, and I've come to find, I am grossly under stocked. With the _Normandy_ being 'previously' decommissioned, the majority of my inventory has been taken elsewhere. In short, we need supplies… soon," she said, wringing her hands together.

"Seems most everybody is short… I don't know how Shepard kept up with all this, especially in the midst of a war," he muttered, rubbing his neck.

Chakwas chuckled, "It takes practice… practice, and Shepard was damn good at what she did. She could do anything she put her mind to... I've always admired her for that."

Garrus nodded slowly in agreement. Changing course swiftly, he said, "We'll be hitting Omega soon, and once we dock, I'll send Vega with you to the markets. Hopefully you'll be able to find a few things to last us until we reach Illium, where we'll purchase anything else we may need… Plus I know Liara wants to grab some things from her office and apartment."

"Thank you Garrus. Shepard would be so proud of you, if she were here,"

And with that, he decided he would finish his rounds and try to catch an hour or so of sleep before they arrived at Omega.

Garrus elected to poke his head into the main battery for a moment to determine the state of the Thannix cannons. He regretted looking in almost immediately. The cannons were halfway dismantled and parts were strewn across the battery. His old cot, long since used, lay forgotten in its corner, bolts and tools littered it haphazardly. Getting these weapons back in working order was going to become a fulltime job, and Garrus hoped to the Spirits, they wouldn't need to use them anytime in the near future.

Taking the elevator back to the CIC deck, he found that his father and Wrex had retreated into the war room, contacting their families to let them know they were alright, though both the elder turian and the krogan battlemaster kept their distance from one another. He supposed old habits did indeed die hard.

Joker was still lounged in his leather seat, at the controls, humming a tune quietly to himself.

Passing several crew members who saluted him, he retreated back to the elevator and pressed the button to go up to Shepard's cabin… his cabin? _Their_ cabin.

The lock was green, so Garrus let himself in, but not before taking a deep breath. They had spent some of their last, intimate moments alone in the cabin. She had voiced her overwhelming concerns to him. He closed his eyes remembering how she had finally broken down. He had held her close to his chest for a long time, feeling every quake her body made as she sobbed against him. She hadn't needed him to say anything, and he didn't. He had allowed her to cry until she couldn't anymore, stroking her hair, caressing her bare skin, and nuzzling the top of her head. Garrus swallowed the nausea that had overcome him so suddenly, and strode into the cabin, only to find Hannah Shepard sitting on the edge of the bed.

The Admiral, was looking at a holo-frame when Garrus walked into the room. Upon seeing her, Garrus froze mid-stride, stumbling over a quick and clumsy apology.

"Don't be sorry Vakarian. I only came up here to see if there was anything the Alliance hadn't removed just yet. And sure enough… I found this," she said, tapping a footlocker with the edge of her boot. "I suppose they had a hell of a time trying to unlock it when they found it, and pushed it aside to deal with later when they couldn't." She looked oddly serene as she extended the holo-frame in Garrus' direction. Shaking his head, he sat down on the coffee table and took the picture. It was of him and Shepard during their shore leave party. She had his face in her hands, as she kissed his scarred face, and his mandibles were flared wide in complete bliss as he looked towards the camera.

"She wouldn't ever let me near that footlocker. How did you manage to hack it?" Garrus asked, looking up at the Admiral.

Hannah Shepard laughed, "I didn't… The combination was your last name. Only took me a few tries before I guessed it."

"I should have known," he chuckled. "She was always closed off, the majority of the time. Kept her emotions bottled up, unless she was around me… or she was very pissed off."

"She gets all those wonderful, defining qualities from me," she said, leaning over to rifle through contents of the locker. As the Admiral pulled a tattered book from the container, several pages fell from the binding and floated noiselessly to the floor.

"It's been years since I've seen one of those," Garrus said, amazed.

"Aurora always preferred the real thing over reading from a datapad or an omni-tool. This was her favorite… _From the Earth to the Moon_ by Jules Verne…," Hannah Shepard's voice trailed off, and a deep sadness overtook her.

"The more I learn, the more I begin to realize how much I really don't know about her," he said, his heart sinking.

"I know you blame yourself for what happened, but I'm certain we'll find her… one way or another… and with any luck, the two of you will have a lifetime to catch up," she said, the corner of her mouth turning up in a very Shepard fashion. "Anyways... I should go… There's a few things I'd like to do before we dock on Omega."

"Cerberus is going to pay for everything they've done…," Garrus growled.

"A pissed off bondmate, a very angry mother, and a ship full of vengeful comrades in arms… Yeah… Cerberus is in for a not so pleasant surprise," the Admiral declared just before exiting the cabin, leaving Garrus to fume silently.

The moment he heard the elevator doors shut, he placed Shepard's personal effects back into the opened footlocker and stripped off the upper portion of his armor. Tossing it aside, Garrus collapsed onto the bed, his bare carapace sinking into the soft mattress. The sheets had been changed and no longer smelled of Shepard, but her scent lingered in between the threads of the mattress, filling his nostrils and leading him into the dark recesses of his mind. In mere minutes, Garrus was out, sleeping without so much as a sound, memories and dreams fading away.

He slept until Joker buzzed his visor.

"Wake up Sleeping Beauty!" the flight lieutenant shouted obnoxiously in Garrus's earpiece.

"I hate you Joker," Garrus mumbled into the pillow he was clutching.

"Stop whining and get down here. Omega just came into view,"

Garrus dressed, yawning every few minutes, and loaded himself onto the elevator, punching the button to the CIC.

Walking into the cockpit, Garrrus took note that even without the aid of EDI, Joker was able to make the Normandy glide through asteroids like a dancer on the dance floor.

As they moved into the asteroid field with ease, Omega grew from a small, glowing pinprick to the large reddish-orange rock they had all come to loathe over the years. Shepard had once said it reminded her of a bright jellyfish, tentacles billowing lazily in the vacuum of space.

It had been some time since Garrus was last on the rock, and it still left a bad taste in his mouth. He wasn't too keen on revisiting it, seeing as how the previous time he was here, he took a rocket to the face and nearly died. But as it were, he'd stare down a Reaper if he had to in order to find Shepard and bring her back.

Garrus watched from his position behind Joker's leather seat as they drew closer to the station. The automated turrets Cerberus had installed were still in operation, and followed their approach course.

A voice suddenly came over the intercom demanding to know who they were.

"We can't get a signature on your ship. State your name and business for coming to Omega," a batarian said.

"You would think that with the technology available, they'd be able to make us completely invisible… Windows or no windows," Joker said, craning his neck around to give Garrus a questioning look. The turian shrugged and said, "No reason to hide why we're here."

Pressing one talon to the intercom button and switching channels, Garrus said, "This is the SSV _Normandy_. My business is with Aria, and Aria alone."

A brief pause and, "An escort will be waiting for you at the docks. Over and out."

"Well that's certainly not the worst welcome we've ever received…" Joker muttered. Garrus switched channels and broadcasted throughout the rest of ship, "I want Javik, Wrex and Admiral Shepard to the airlock in five. Weapons and full armor. Be prepared for a fight."

Six minutes, several insults, and a limping prothean later, and much to Wrex's apparent disappointment, the airlock door opened without so much as a bullet fired in their direction.

An escort of at least half a dozen batarians and a number of bare-faced turians met them, weapons drawn.

"I can already feel Cerberus' presence here… I don't like this much, turian," Javik whispered into Garrus' ear.

Garrus bowed his fringed head ever so slightly in agreement. This wasn't going to be easy, contending with four mercenary gangs, Aria, her thugs and possibly remnants of Cerberus.

"Wish things would work in our favor from time to time," Wrex grumbled as they stepped off the _Normandy_ and followed the escort to Afterlife.

* * *

_"Garrus, can we please talk about this?" Shepard said desperately, exiting the airlock and following Garrus through the CIC, to the elevator. Thane hung back, keeping his distance from them._

_"I said I don't want to talk about it," he growled, his subharmonics seething furiously. Several engineers swiveled their heads around as their voices carried._

_They had just left the Citadel. Garrus had gone there with the ultimate goal of seeking revenge on Sidonis for the betrayal of their squadmates on Omega. Shepard initially agreed to help him find the other turian and lure him from hiding, but it all went to shit upon speaking with him. She had blocked Garrus' shot, warned Sidonis of his intentions, and somehow convinced Garrus to let him go._

_Reaching the shuttle, Garrus had said everything was alright and that he couldn't pull the trigger. But during the ride back to the Normandy, he replayed the situation through his head over and over again, becoming more livid each time he did. His men deserved fates better than this, and Sidonis living did nothing to ease it. By the time they reached the ship, Garrus had convinced himself, killing the other turian would have been the best option, but Shepard obviously didn't feel the same._

_Loading themselves onto the elevator, Garrus punched the button to take him down a level. He irritably noticed as Shepard didn't push the one for her cabin._

_"You know what I did was right," she said, folding her arms and leaning against the wall._

_"I know what you did was selfish! You should have let me take the damn shot!" he shouted at her as the door to the elevator slid open, revealing Miranda. The Cerberus XO was apparently waiting for the lift. Her mouth hung slightly open, as if about to say something, but the Commander was quicker._

_"Can it, Lawson," Shepard snapped at the woman._

_"Excuse me?" Miranda said haughtily, arching an eyebrow in slight confusion. Garrus pushed past the black haired woman, stomping off in the direction of the Main Battery, Shepard in tow._

_"What I did was for your own damn good!" she yelled at his armored back. When he disregarded her, she grabbed him on the shoulder and wheeled him around to face her with surprising strength._

_"Don't ignore me Vakarian,"_

_"And don't assume you know what's best for me. I can take care of myself!"_

_"Oh right! When I came for you on Omega, you were cornered, starved, and about to die because you decided to foolishly go up against three merc groups at the same time! Doesn't sound like you can take care of yourself at all!" spat Shepard._

_Mordin and Dr. Chakwas poked their heads out of the medbay. Gardner attempted to blend in with his refrigerator, pushing himself into the corner. Kasumi switched on her tactical cloak and skirted off in the opposite direction. Garrus glanced around, noticing everyone attempting to not listen in on their argument._

_"Shepard, you're causing a scene," he said in a low voice. She threw her hands into the air, exasperated, "I really don't give a shit! I'm pulling rank and ordering you to talk to me!"_

_He couldn't quite believe what he was hearing, saying incredulously, "Are you kidding me?"_

_"I'm being dead, fucking serious, Vakarian. Why are you so damn upset with me?" Shepard demanded. Spirits, she could make a krogan cry when she was pissed._

_"You agreed to help me kill that son of a bitch and then kept me from actually shooting him. Why?" he said finally._

_"I did it for your own good!"_

_"You keep saying that, but why?" he repeated._

_Shepard sighed, "Because killing someone for the sake of revenge can change people Garrus."_

_"Not me…," it was his turn to fold his arms across his carapace stubbornly._

_"No? You were so obsessed with vengeance that you almost killed that volus masquerading around as Fade. You would have murdered Harkin if I hadn't stopped you, and executing Sidonis wouldn't have changed a thing. You're men would still be dead, and you would have been so consumed with grief because you would be unable to fix it," she said defiantly._

_Garrus' unscarred mandible twitched as he regarded Shepard. He knew she was right, but he would, in no way, admit it to her... at least not yet._

_"You don't need to concern yourself with me," he said, glaring down at her. "You have too much on your plate already."_

_"But I do Garrus… fuck… I… You have no idea, do you?" she asked, wringing her gloved hands together, in what he took as nervousness._

_"No idea what?" he said, brow plates furrowing in confusion._

_She stood with her mouth agape, baffled for a moment before she was able to recover herself._

_"You're so dense!" she groaned._

_"Shepard, what are you talking about?" he questioned again._

_"Damnit!" she shrieked at no one and turned on heel, skulking back towards the elevator, fists clenched._

_He stood there by the Main Battery door for what seemed like an eternity, perplexed at the scene that had just unfolded before him._

_"What the hell was that?!" Garrus said aloud._

_"Women," muttered Gardner coming out of the shadows of his small corner of the kitchen. Garrus shot the mess cook a derisive look and trudged into the Battery._

* * *

Looking back on their first argument, Garrus supposed he ought to have been more versed in Shepard's euphemisms. He wasn't sure what triggered the memory exactly, but he imagined it had something to do with being back on this damned asteroid, the shit and piss of the galaxy. It was a place of lowlifes, degenerates, criminals and scum who had no place in Citadel Space. He despised this damn place, but if it meant finding Shepard, he would face down the Blue Suns, the Blood Pack, the Eclipse and the Talons by himself.

So with Javik and Wrex beside him, they followed the small squadron through the docking bay and into the center of Omega, Afterlife, where Aria T'Loak ruled over her forsaken rock. Garrus counted at least thirteen guards before reaching the nightclub, not including their escort. He had certainly faced more overwhelming odds in the past, but he was a bit more hesitant to try his luck again. However, he did have a small army of his own aboard the _Normandy_ , waiting patiently for his signal should plans go astray.

They reach Afterlife, passing by the bar, asari dancers, more bouncers and a number of sketchy patrons. At long last they reached the stairs and the dais where Aria typically resided. Upon arrival, three more guards drew weapons, with one of them saying, "That's far enough."

Aria T'Loak was situated by the balcony, overlooking the nightclub, with her hands clasped behind her, back towards them. She was just out of reach, but close enough for Garrus to hear what she said.

"I can't ever get enough of this music," she spoke to them. "It surges through Afterlife as blood courses through veins, taking hold, and not letting go…" The asari turned to face them, seeking Garrus' eyes first.

"Not letting go like some should," she said irritably, sitting down on her couch and crossing her legs.

Garrus felt Wrex shift slightly

"So what are three of Shepard's little minions doing on my doorstep? I wonder…," she said thoughtfully, tapping her foot. Before any of them could answer her, she spoke again, this time, directing her words at Wrex.

"Ah, the krogan mercenary, Urdnot Wrex. I hear you're a warlord now, leader of Clan Urdnot and ruler over all krogan. Oh, you must be so proud," Aria sneered.

"Aleena. I see you're still a bitch to kill," Wrex nodded. "Not surprising Cerberus couldn't finish the job if I couldn't."

Aria smirked at him, "Better luck next time. But enough inane chit chat. As much as I've enjoy our little reunion, you need to realize something… I've helped Shepard enough to last three of my lifetimes. The war is over. The Commander is dead, and if you ask me, she got what was coming to her. She poked her nose into too many places it didn't belong." She waved her hand in the air, dismissing them impatiently.

Wrex opened his mouth the say something, but in one swift movement, Garrus was on top of Aria, talons clenched around her blue throat, pistol pressed against her forehead.

The music in the dance club fizzled out as all of Aria's pawns drew their weapons in unison. Wrex unfolded his shotgun, and Javik's green biotics surged to his hands.

"Get the fuck off of me!" she shrieked.

"Don't you dare speak of Shepard like that," Garrus growled, his subvocals challenging Aria to question him.

"And who the fuck do you think you are to threaten me? I could give the order and you would be dead where you stand in a matter of seconds," the asari sneered furiously.

"Me? I've been many things in my life: ex C-SEC cop, Spectre candidate, Shepard's lover, Primarch of Palaven… and… Oh... perhaps you've heard of Archangel," Garrus breathed the last word into her ear. Aria's eyes widened, and he could feel her pulse quicken beneath her chest.

"Bullshit," she spat, quickly recovering from her initial surprise. "Archangel's dead."

Garrus barked a laugh, "Or so you were told when the merc groups couldn't find my body. Good news for me… Bad for you, I suppose." His grip tightened around Aria's throat as he moved his M-11 from her forehead to her knee. "Should have done the dirty work yourself, Aria, rather than take a vorcha's word for it."

Aria's hands flared with biotics. Garus repositioned himself to move his knee onto one of her glowing hands, causing her to yell in frustration and fury.

"Don't," he started, but quickly changed his mind. "Better yet, you should do it... you should kill me… I have nothing to fucking lose… and everything to gain in this… Do so, and the _Normandy_ will blast this damn rock from orbit with the Thannix Cannons," he bluffed, knowing full well that the cannons were in pieces inside the Main Battery, but Aria didn't need to know that bit of information. "It takes two blasts to take out a fully operational Collector ship, so I imagine it would do a nasty bit of damage to your dear Omega."

The blue haze and static energy surrounding the asari died.

"Do it," she taunted. Garrus paused for a moment considering his options. Aria took this as a hesitation and continued, "You don't have the quad for it. Your precious Shepard wouldn't do it. No… she was too much of a _pussy_ when it came to revenge."

Archangel snarled in rage and pulled the trigger, blasting a round into the asari's leg, just above the kneecap. A resounding gunshot reverberated off the walls of Afterlife, as Aria's scream pierced the eardrums of everyone present.

Her men inched closer, and Garrus heard the sound of armor piercing rounds being switched on throughout the club.

He replaced the pistol back on her forehead.

"I suggest you cooperate, Aria, or we're going to have an even bigger mess on our hands than just a little spilt blood," Garrus said in a low tone, jerking his head to the side, indicating the rest of the off shore party had arrived, including his father and Hannah Shepard. Wrex must have hailed them from his earpiece when the situation turned away from their original plans. Garrus made a mental note to thank the krogan later.

Glancing their way and breathing heavily, Aria nodded her compliance, fear and loathing and pain, distinct, in her tense eyes.

"Alright, what the fuck do you want?" she hissed at him.

Climbing off Aria and standing above her, Garrus said, "See? Isn't this easier than bitching and moaning how you don't want to help me?"

Liara offered him a datapad, which Garrus grasped in hand and passed it to Aria. Hands shaking, the Queen of Omega took it.

"What am I looking at?" she asked, voice quavering.

Garrus holstered his pistol and folded his arms across his chest, saying, "I don't think the Cerberus influence is quite gone from Omega,"


	10. Deep Into that Darkness

_It was just after 0100 Alliance Standard Time, and the majority of the Normandy's crew was catching up on some much needed sleep. They were en route to Thessia, following a lead from the asari councilor pertaining to a top secret prothean artifact. In the meantime, Garrus had taken to busying himself in the Main Battery by toying with the Thannix, again. Several hours into his calibrations, he decided to step away for a few moments._

_Walking from the Battery to the mess hall and wiping his hands of grease, oil and resin, he spotted Shepard at one of the dining tables. Glancing around, Garrus found no one else in the hall, and the lights were off in the medbay. All was quiet and the only sound was the slight hum from the Normandy's drive core._

_Shepard had her booted feet crossed and resting on the table, while she leaned casually in her chair, her back facing Garrus. A number of datapads lay scattered in front of her, as she held another in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. She sat unmoving as she looked over the files, one strap of her black tank top falling over her bare, freckled shoulder._

_An idea suddenly sparked in Garrus' head. Shepard was not easily scared or startled, and he had the advantage here. She didn't have a clue he had entered the room. So with all the stealth of an assassin, he crept as quietly as he could toward her turned back. One silent step after another, he inched toward her, preparing how he would strike when he reached her._

_Just as he was about to make contact and jump from his crouched position to frighten her, Shepard muttered, without turning around, "Don't even think about it Vakarian."_

_He hung his head, slouching in defeat as he pulled a chair around to face her._

_"How'd you know it was me?" he asked. She set the datapad she was reading on the table and tapped the side of her head, "Darling, you're forgetting I have upgrades. I heard the Main Battery door open not 30 steps away."_

_"I thought I was quiet enough,"_

_She chuckled, "Garrus, you're not an assassin."_

_"No, I suppose not," he said, glancing at the datapads. "What are you doing up this late anyways?"_

_"Trying to sort out who I want in the squad on Thessia," she said._

_"How do you do it? Pick squad members, I mean," Garrus asked, turning over a couple of the datapads. Shepard sighed, "I usually select them based on what sort of skills each person has and what could be most beneficial to what the mission requires."_

_"And what if you're going in blind?"_

_"I choose who I can trust the most, plus I prefer a balance between biotics and weaponry because you never know what sort of shit you may run into," she said running a hand through her hair. "Nine times out of ten, I usually end up taking you and Liara. Not only do I trust the two of you the most, but also you can pick off enemies at long range, while Liara can utilize her biotics if they get too close. And I-"_

_"You charge head first with that geth assault rifle of yours," Garrus said, laughter in his subharmonics._

_"Because I know the two of you are covering my ass,"_

_"Liara better not be watching your ass, that's my job," he snickered. Shepard laughed uncomfortably, something else apparently on her mind. She wasn't quite meeting his eyes and shifting uneasily in her chair. Garrus had become attuned to Shepard's mannerisms over the years and knew he wasn't going to like what he heard next._

_"I'm not taking you on this one…," she said slowly. It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but Shepard was his commanding officer and he respected her choices, even though, as her boyfriend, he may not approve of them._

_"So who are the lucky two?" he asked, leaning toward her._

_"Wait. You're not mad at me?" she asked, shooting him an incredulous look. He took both her hands in his, grasping them firmly in a reassuring way._

_"While I prefer to go with you, it is your ship. I may not be the best, but I'm still turian… I'm still able to follow some orders," he said, his mandibles flicking into a slight, lopsided smile._

_There was the briefest pause as she regarded him, making sure he was serious, before flinging her arms around his neck and breathing a sigh of relief._

_"Thank God," she said, kissing his scarred plates. "I've been struggling for the last hour with how I was going to tell you I'm taking Liara and Javik."_

_"Liara and Javik?" he asked skeptically._

_"Well, yes," she said. "Liara is the obvious choice… and Javik, I think, will have some keen insight into this artifact. He definitely knows more than he lets on… Besides, I get the feeling he's getting restless, cooped up in his room. I want to give him the chance to stretch his legs a little."_

_"But Javik?"_

_"I thought you said you were okay with this Garrus…"_

_"I am… But Javik?" he said again. Shepard's lips curled up; a playful glint in her eyes as she whispered to him, "I can't always play favorites. People may get suspicious."_

_Garrus laughed and leaned over her chair to nuzzle her neck, "Here's a news flash for you Shepard: people already know I'm the favorite."_

_"Well, the whole galaxy doesn't need to know," she said, caressing the skin under his fringe_

_"I'm still syncing my omni-tool to your suit,"_

_"Of course, you always have my six," she giggled as he nipped her collarbone. Garrus took great pride in being the only person to ever get Shepard to giggle and squeal like a young school girl._

_"C'mon, let's go upstairs. Maybe you can get me to fall asleep," she said, standing up and collecting the datapads from the table. Garrus wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they headed toward the elevator, saying, "Challenge accepted."_

* * *

"Bray! Get me some fucking medi-gel," Aria T'Loak barked to a batarian standing off to the side. She continued to look over the datapad Garrus had handed her, frowning as she went. "What do you mean you 'don't think the Cerberus influence is quite gone from Omega'? You know damn well Shepard helped me eradicate them," she said, shoving the datapad back into Garrus' hands.

Liara threw Garrus a sideways glance and said, "We have information that says otherwise. We know that they've been on Omega sometime within the last six months."

"Ah- the _esteemed_ Dr. T'Soni," Aria sneered. "I'm surprised to see you've come out of hiding."

"Reports indicate you still have power outages in several districts, including the Kima and Gozu districts, and-," started Liara, ignoring the other asari.

Aria interrupted her, "Wait, how do you know this? Those areas have been off limits for months…"

"The Shadow Broker," Garrus said, impatience in his subvocals.

"Of course. You know… the Broker and I go way back. He-," Aria began, seizing the medi-gel pack from Bray as he returned.

Liara rolled her eyes, "Save it Aria. You and the Broker do not have any history. _I_ know all your secrets, and I won't hesitate to expel them publicly if you decide not to help us."

"Well that's one way to shut her up," Tali chuckled, cradling her shotgun.

Aria tossed the used medi-gel aside and stood up carefully. Realizing she could balance her weight on both legs again, she rose to full height. Biotic sparks jumped at her fingertips as she moved closer to Liara. Garrus unholstered his pistol again, ready to shoot if Aria tried to pull something.

"Somehow, I'm not surprised that you're the Shadow Broker… Alright I'll help you… but on one condition… When you find what it is you're looking for, I don't want to see Shepard, or any of you or her other friends… anywhere near Omega, EVER again. And if I do, I promise I _will_ shoot whatever ship she's on out of the damn sky," she said.

"Believe me, if it wasn't for Shepard, I wouldn't be back in this shit hole, so consider it done," Garrus snorted.

Twenty minutes later, Garrus found himself crammed into a skycar next to Wrex and Javik, with Aria and Bray in the front seats. Another skycar followed behind them, containing Liara, Tali, Hannah Shepard and Tychus. He had told the rest of the crew to return to the _Normandy_. His small team was heading to the Gozu District upon his insistence. There were still power outages throughout this district, and Garrus' cop instincts told him this was the place to start, in Mordin's old medical facility.

Quickly scanning several of Shepard's old mission reports detailing her time on Omega, Garrus leaned forward in the car to speak with Aria.

"First things first. Before we go storming down a dark hole, blind, I need to know: are the adjutants gone?" he asked, tapping his pistol on the side of her seat.

Javik slouched in his chair, crossing his arms and muttering, "Adjutants… I have never seen anything like them. They are an abomination and should not be allowed to exist."

Aria swiveled her head around and glowered at the both of them, snapping, "The Reapers are finished aren't they?" Javik glared at her, unblinking.

Garrus shot the prothean a look, telling him to cool it. Javik slumped further into the seat, and turned his gaze out the window, and settled instead on mumbling curses under his breath about the conditions of the asteroid.

Garrus rolled his eyes at the prothean, and said slowly to Aria, "Yes…,"

Aria shook her blue head in contempt, "Then there's your answer. No more adjutants."

"So this section of the district is completely empty?"

"Yes," the asari answered curtly.

Bray parked the car as close to the medical clinic as possible, though it was still a ten minute walk into complete darkness.

The two parties clamored from their respective cars, armor and weapons clinking against one another.

Standing before the set of doors that would lead them through the Gozu District, Garrus unholstered his Widow and flipped on the small flashlight.

"Aria, I think we can take it from here," he said, dismissing the asari. She let out a low sigh and said, "Thank the goddess. Let's go Bray." Without turning back, she stomped off toward her skycar.

"Shepard's a damn hero. I hope you can find her," Bray said quietly before speeding off to catch up with Aria.

Tali snorted, the purple light on her face mask in sync with her laughter, "That's something you don't see too often: a batarian in favor of a human… even after destroying most of their species with an asteroid. Hmm."

"Who would have thought the genophage would be cured too," added Wrex. "Or the krogan, salarians, and turians actually getting along."

Garrus filtered out their conversation to focus on the task at hand. He scanned the pathways beyond the doors with his omni-tool and visor.

"Or a prothean being awakened after 50,000 years of cryo," Liara said turning to Javik.

"Or a human having so many alien friends," said Javik.

Garrus' mandibles clicked together irritably. Everything was dark, silent in the corridors before them. Something didn't feel right, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. The others' laughter was drowned out as he searched for a heat or energy signature of any kind.

Tychus Vakarian saw the distress upon his son's face and moved toward him.

"Enough with the chit chat," Archangel growled. All present, ceased speaking.

"Son, what is it?" he asked, placing a hand on Garrus' shoulder. Hannah Shepard shifted forward as well, noticing the atmosphere had changed dramatically.

"There's nothing down there. No heat, no light. Nothing," he started.

"Aria did say there wasn't any power in this sector…," Tali offered.

Garrus shook his head, looking at his omni-tool, "This is different. I- I can't explain it. It's like this section is… dead…"

Glancing up, he noticed six pairs of eyes, staring at him.

"Normally, when there's a power outage of this magnitude, there are surges of energy and heat and electricity, just with nowhere to go," he continued. "But, spirits… there's nothing."

"What does that mean for us?" Tychus asked.

"I don't want us down there any longer than we have to be. So, we split up, cover more ground," Garrus said. "Liara. Admiral. You're with me. Dad, I want you to go with Wrex, Javik, and Tali. Search every room, every closed door, and every nook and cranny for anything that may lead the Shepard's whereabouts."

"If you find anything, radio us your coordinates immediately," added Admiral Shepard, unfolding her Avenger.

"I'm sending everyone a layout of the area, Mordin's clinic is highlighted in green. That's where we'll meet up. Is everyone clear on that?" he finished, looking around at their faces. They were uneasy, unsure, and undoubtedly terrified of what they may find.

"Alright. Move out!" he ordered as Tali hacked the doors. Wrex and his team took the corridor the right, as Garrus, the Admiral, and Liara went straight. In mere seconds, the blackness overwhelmed them, and they were engulfed in complete darkness, with only their tiny flashlights, and the infrared on Garrus' visor to aid them.


	11. Skin Crept Cold

As they plunged further and deeper into Omega's darkness, it soon became apparent to Garrus, Liara and Admiral Shepard, this would be a very difficult and arduous task. They searched every long corridor, every abandoned apartment and every hole and sewer grate, leaving no stone unturned. Garrus ticked off each section on his omni-tool as they progressed.

The only sound to be heard was their boots against the cement and their own labored breathing. Everything else was silent, and it was unnerving.

They were currently searching a small, derelict warehouse, but to no avail. The single floor building was nearly empty, save for a few old filing cabinets and a broken computer. Rummaging through the last of the cabinets, Hannah Shepard wrinkled her nose in disgust, "This place stinks of death."

Liara nodded her head in agreement, "It does. But where are all the bodies?"

"Vakarian, there's nothing here. I think we should move on," said Admiral Shepard, slamming a metallic drawer shut with a _clang_. Garrus was quickly becoming frustrated. Generally, his instincts were dead-on, but he was unsure what to make of this situation. They had been searching for the last three hours, and there was no sign of Cerberus ever being here, or Shepard for that matter. He didn't reply to the Admiral, instead he walked out onto the dark street and pressed his ear piece.

"Wrex, anything?" he asked quietly.

"Not a damn thing," replied the krogan, his voice echoing Garrus' own discouraged thoughts.

"How far from the clinic are you?" Garrus said. He heard Liara and the Admiral move from the building behind him, and watched their flashlight beams as they crossed the street to enter another office building.

"It's just a few blocks over. Think we should skip the rest of these buildings and just meet at the clinic?" Wrex suggested. Garrus considered it, but knowing their luck, they would stop searching and bypass an important clue in the next building.

"No… keep looking. We're bound to find something,"

"Got it. Wrex out," the krogan said, disgruntled.

Garrus followed his small team into the next structure. Upon entering, the Admiral informed Garrus that Liara had taken to the basement. He nodded his understanding and began searching an empty desk, occasionally coming across a broken datapad.

After several minutes of silence, Hannah Shepard ceased hunting. Wiping her brow with the back of her hand, she shined her flashlight at Garrus, saying, "What attracted you to my daughter?"

Garrus paused, taken aback by the abruptness of the question.

A dumbfounded "What?" was all he was able to say in response.

An uncomfortable Admiral shifted her weight to one foot, rubbed her eyes with one hand, while the other went to her hip. _Damn, they look so much alike_.

"Sorry… What I meant to say was… I would never have imagined she would have followed in my footsteps… Hell I wouldn't have imagined her to fall for a turian…," the Admiral said sheepishly, holstering her Avenger.

Garrus rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, waiting with baited breath to see where this conversation was headed.

"Growing up, she was always so gentle… She never liked to get her hands dirty. And she always wanted to play dress up," Hannah laughed. Garrus saw her eyes, wet with tears and, a deep sadness overtook her as she continued. "But I never had the time… Being a single mother in the Alliance… well… it hasn't been easy… I've missed out on a good portion of Aurora's life…

"One night I came back home from a mission. Aurora must have been 15 at the time. She was in our tiny room, playing games with some of the other military kids on the ship we were stationed on… I came home, distraught enough for her to notice. I had just lost a dear friend of mine and the mission was a failure… I won't bore you with the details… but she told the other kids to leave immediately, and came to sit next to me on the bed… All she said was, 'Everything will be alright. I'll make it better, when I join the Alliance.'

"It was the first and the last time she mentioned joining the military, until she turned 18. The day she left for boot camp, I cried as if I never cried before. Just before she left, she told me, 'I'm doing this for you, Mom… So one day, you don't have to.'

"I guess I'm just trying to understand my daughter better because who I thought she was as a child, that small, delicate flower, is nothing like who she turned out to be," she said, swiftly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "She blossomed into a hero, and I don't even remember it happening..."

Garrus folded his Widow and replaced it on his back. Choosing his words deliberately, he said, "You must understand… I looked up to Aurora, not only as my commanding officer, but also as a mentor and as a friend first, before we ever became involved… Every member of her crew respects her, and she'll go to great lengths to honor that admiration… even when she doesn't have to…"

He turned away from the Admiral, not daring to look her in the eye, and prayed once more to his spirits that Aurora was not lost to him. Running a hand over his fringe, he continued, his subvocals breaking, "She see's past the bullshit, past the species, and language barriers, and… and the scars… and tries to see the good in people… damn…" His words trailed off into the darkness, leaving only silence between them.

After several moments of neither Garrus nor Hannah saying anything, Liara's voice broke through the eeriness, and into their comms, "Garrus, you need to get down here. Now."

He whipped around and eyed the Admiral, a quiet understanding passing between them.

Sprinting down the broken and ruined staircase that led to the basement, Garrus hoped to whatever higher power was listening that Liara had found Aurora. Hannah followed swiftly behind him.

The sublevel was just as black as the upper streets, and the smell down here was horrific. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Garrus swung his flashlight from left to right, searching for the asari.

"Liara? Where are you?" he hissed, bringing an arm to cover his nose.

"Over here," she whispered, clicking on her light.

"Did you find her?" asked Hannah, desperation lingering in her voice.

Liara shook head, and pointed through a doorway.

Garrus shined his light into the space beyond, revealing a heap of adjutants. He drew a sharp intake of breath as his skin went cold and his heartbeat quickened.

"I thought Aria said-" he started.

"She did, but these are dead," answered Liara.

Hannah approached the bodies and nudged a limp head with her boot. It slumped to the side, blue tongue lolling out, and fluids seeping from ruined tubes onto the floor. This was unquestionably where the stench was coming from.

In the light of their small torches, the Admiral's face turned several different shades before it finally settled on a pale grey.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," she gagged. Covering her mouth with her hand, she bolted back up the stairs, disappearing from view.

"Why would there be a pile of adjutant bodies down here?" Liara said, looking to Garrus. The turian shrugged in defeat. More questions to be answered, and they were getting nowhere fast.

"I don't know, but I think we need to get to the clinic ASAP. Head back upstairs, make sure the Admiral is alright… I'll radio the others and have them meet us over there immediately."

As Liara headed back to the main level, Garrus examined the bodies for a final time. These adjutants couldn't be any more than a week dead. The stench was too fresh and rigor mortis had long since passed. Decay had barely set in and the abnormal colors of the reaper creatures were beginning to change.

_Shepard, I better not find you like this_. Shaking the disturbing thoughts from his mind, Garrus tapped his earpiece to hail Wrex.

"Did you find something?" came the krogan's voice. "Because we still can't find a damn thing in this place. Anything would be better than nothing at this point."

"Bodies. We found adjutant bodies stashed in a basement... of an office building no less,"

Wrex whistled low, "Anyone in particular among them?"

Garrus hadn't considered what may have transpired if they had found Shepard's body among the decaying reapers. He let out a low sigh, as he left the sub-level and followed Liara's path back up the stairs, "No, thank the Spirits. We're headed toward the clinic now. Meet us there."

"Yup. See you soon. Wrex out."

Once topside and on the street, Hannah Shepard stood from a crouched position when she spotted Garrus, wiping her mouth with the back of her gloved hand.

"Sorry about that. The stench was unbearable," she said. "I can't believe they've been down there that long."

Garrus' face plates twitched, as he said, "They weren't. Those adjutants have only been dead for about a week."

Disbelief overtook the Admiral's and Liara's faces.

"Are you sure?" said Liara incredulously.

"If that's the case… something isn't adding up," Hannah stated slowly.

Garrus nodded in understanding, "Agreed. That's why we're going straight to the clinic now, to meet up with the others, and to see if we can find anything else. This whole place makes me uneasy. We need to finish up and get the hell out of here."

Bringing up the navigation software on his visor, Garrus motioned for Liara and Hannah to follow him. As they fell into step behind him, Garrus set a steady and swift pace for them.

The short trek to the medical facility felt as if it took ages rather than ten minutes. And the whole journey, Garrus felt as if someone… or something was watching them from the darkest shadows.


	12. A Dealer of Sinful Choices

_Darkness… Cold… Concrete walls… This is what surrounded her… she didn't know how long she had been in here… couldn't remember how she got here… wherever here was…_

_Her mind was still muddled… confused… someone else's thoughts… not her own… broken… fragmented… lost… and it was slipping still, with every passing moment…_

_She heard voices… voices she could no long place… could no longer recall who's they were… They were with her always… never ceasing, no matter how many times she shouted at them to shut up…_

_She no longer knew reality from fiction… unable to decipher one from the other… Hell… most of the time she couldn't remember who she was anymore… the threads of her past existence slipping through her fingers like smoke…_

_This is what madness must feel like…_

_Sometimes, the darkness of her confinement would flare with white, blinding light… fooling her into thinking she was dead. In fact, it was in these moments when she prayed for the light to overcome her and death to take her._

_This wasn't living… and she was certain that if she was rational and in the right frame of mind, this might very well pass as her version of a living hell…_

_After several minutes, or days, or it could have been weeks, the light returned to her, seemingly brighter than ever. It filled her cell, and from it, a voice came, reverberating off all four walls, filling her with loss, dread and fear._

_"You chose wrong, organic," the voice said. "Even after all this time, you can not comprehend our existence. And as we extinguish all organic life from this realm, you will truly see us for what we are… and you will beg for death before the end… We await your arrival Shepard."_

_It said the same thing, every time it came to her, repeating itself until she screamed at it, clutching her ears and covering her eyes, shaking intensely. Its laughter filled her mind as it left, toying with her, breaking her… leaving her with countless other voices…_

**_Reapers… Catalyst… Dark… Indoctrination… Being… Lazarus… Cerberus… Light… Energy…_ **

_Repetition…_

_"Shepard-"_

_She no longer knew who this Shepard was…_

_"I am the vanguard of your destruction…"_

_This was her prison… her mind… her reality…_

_"I'll see you all when you get back…"_

_Never see anyone again…_

_"There is a realm of existence… you cannot even imagine…"_

_She no longer cared…_

_"Come back, alive… it'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you…"_

_Let this end… please…_

_Always… the voices… never ending… ceaseless… incessant…_

* * *

Unsurprisingly, the medical facility was in complete disarray, just like everything else they had come across on Omega. Tables had been upturned, files and datapads were strewn across the floor haphazardly, and medical equipment lay broken and shattered every which way they stepped.

Garrus checked his tactical visor. A small blip had appeared on it a little over five minutes ago and had followed them the rest of the way to the clinic, disappearing as they entered the facility. Garrus kept silent, not mentioning it to either Liara or the Admiral, until they reached Wrex and his squad.

They waited several moments before the others arrived, greeting them with nods as they entered. Garrus glanced at his visor once more to ensure they hadn't been followed into the facility.

Satisfied, Garrus turned to the small group, whispering, "We're not alone here…"

"How can you be sure?" Tali asked, helmet tilting to the side.

"A heat signature popped up on my visor less than ten minutes ago," he said.

Javik roamed around the clinic, touching any number of overturned tables. After examining a piece of broken medical equipment, he stood up straight, blinked his four eyes and said, "I felt its presence as well."

They all stared at him for several moments, until Liara slapped her hand to her forehead, exclaiming, "Of course! Javik can read his surroundings. We could use him to-"

"Stop right there T'Soni," the prothean said, pointing his finger at the asari. "You will not use me as some sort of twisted bloodhound."

Liara quickly looked at the ground, ashamed her own suggestion had somehow offended the prothean. Garrus scratched his head, curious as to where Javik had picked up the word "bloodhound". He shrugged when Hannah Shepard glanced his way, evidently asking silently the same question.

"Besides," Javik began, this time less angrily. "I have yet to pick up anything worth noting. I will inform you if I do find something." And with that, he continued to peruse around the clinic.

"Right...," Garrus continued. "The blip disappeared when we entered the facility. So just be aware of your surroundings, and come to me if you find anything suspicious."

"And what of the adjutant bodies?" Wrex asked.

"The bodies we found have only been dead for about a week," Garrus said.

"H-How is that possible? Weren't adjutants Reaper foot soldiers?" Tali stammered.

Garrus shook his head wearily, "From what Shepard told me, that's how I understood it, but now… I'm not so sure."

"Is it possible Cerberus created them? Or somehow managed to gain their control?" Tychus said, tapping his foot.

"I suppose it _technically_ is possible…," Hannah frowned.

"Didn't Shepard say the Illusive Man was trying to harness the Reapers' mind control capabilities?" Tali asked, her head cocking to one side curiously.

Garrus nodded, "Not only that, but he was trying to figure out how to control the Reapers, to up lift the human race."

"What?" Tychus growled. Garrus waved off his father, "We found evidence at Cerberus' headquarters to support that the Illusive Man was already indoctrinated… 'updated' with Reaper tech."

"And we haven't heard a peep from him since the Reapers were defeated…," said Hannah. "So we assume he's dead."

"'Assume' being the key word," growled Javik from the corner.

Wrex rolled his eyes, and said, "So we got adjutants, a blackout, Cerberus, a blip on your damn visor, and not much else… I think I'd rather take on Kalros… At least I know what I'm up against."

"I don't like it much either, but let's scour this clinic and get the hell out of here," Garrus agreed, running a hand uneasily over his fringe.

For the next hour and a half they searched the clinic from top to bottom, rummaging through over turned cabinets and picking through discarded medical equipment. Everyone kept mostly to themselves, asking each other, every so often, if they had found something, which was replied with a shake of the head or with a bitter "No".

As the minutes crept by, tempers were beginning to flare and frustration set in, spurred on by Javik muttering to himself.

After sometime, Tali threw her hands into the air, shouting, "This is ridiculous!"

"Tali's right… We're not getting anywhere," Wrex grumbled. Tychus approached his son, sadness in his eyes, "It's a dead end, Son… Let's go back to the _Normandy_."

Garrus glanced at Hannah. She was clenching her fists and looking wildly around, clearly irritated. The Admiral roared into the darkness and picked up the closest thing she could find, a tin medical box, hurling it furiously across the room. It hit the wall with a resounding clatter. The noise it made was all too loud, causing everyone present to cringe, as it crashed open to the floor.

Wrex and Tali were the first to reach the facility's doors, with Tychus in tow. The doors opened with a _whoosh_ as they approached, just as Liara cried out, "Wait! _Wait_!"

The small party turned to face the asari as she scrabbled to her feet from her crouched position.

"Garrus? What kind of omni-tool did Shepard use?" she asked excitedly.

"A high end Savant model… not even available to the public yet… She got it through Spectre Requisitions… Why?"

"Was it something like this?" she asked, tossing him a something small, a smile spreading wide across her face.

Garrus caught it and turned the small metal band over in his hands.

* * *

_"Shepard? What are you doing?" he asked as he watched her take her omni-tool off her wrist. She smirked at him mischievously._

_They were sitting on Shepard's bed in her cabin. The Normandy had just been released from its retrofitting, and they were several days out from finally hunting down Kai Leng._

_"Just wait," she said, reaching over to her bedside table. She grabbed Traynor's broken toothbrush and powered it on._

_"Wha-"_

_"Hush… You'll see… I had Tali tinker around with it for a bit. She said I might be able to get one last use out of it. After seeing what it could do to the emergency exit, I figured I would try this…,"she said, touching the toothbrush to the inside of metal band._

_Sparks flew in every direction, showering down on the bed. Garrus was terrified the sheets might catch fire, but Shepard paid it no mind, her attention entirely on the task at hand… whatever that was._

_Over the course of the next several minutes, he watched with mild curiosity as tiny symbols began to shape under the glow of the toothbrush. She was using it to etch something into her omni-tool._

_"Won't that ruin it?"_

_"Nope… Already checked with Tali," she laughed, not taking her eyes from the band._

_He tilted his head to one side as she finished, attempting to read the human script._

_"Shepard…,"_

_"Oh right… sorry… forgot you can't translate without your visor," she said, glancing at his piece over on the floor, beside his discarded armor. "It says 'We were written in the stars, and all that separated us was time… No S without V…'"_

_He furrowed his brow plates, confusion overtaking his features. She hung her head and muttered, "If something happens-"_

_Garrus cut her off, "Nothing's going to happen…"_

_"If something happens," she repeated. "I want to find my way back to you…,"_

_Mandibles flaring into a smile, he pressed his forehead gently to hers._

_"I think I can get one more run out of that toothbrush…" he said, extending his hand. Taking the toothbrush and flicked it on one last time, Garrus began to etch the same thing into his omni-tool, except in turian script and "No V without S"._

_As he finished, the pair sat side by side, leaning against one another and gazing at their handiwork. The stars passed silently overhead._

* * *

Garrus was brought back to his cold, harsh reality by Liara's hand on his arm.

"Is it hers?" she asked.

He nodded, swallowing a lump in his throat. _How did this get here? Where was she?_ More questions arising than being answered.

"We need to get back to the ship and see if it has any clues on it as to where she might be…," Liara began gently, but was interrupted by a high pitched shriek and a loud crash.

They all whipped around in the direction of the noise, only to spy Javik by the door, struggling with some unforeseen force.

"Deactivate your cloak!" he hissed, grappling to hold onto whatever it was he was straddling.

"I said, DEACTIVATE YOUR CLOAK!" he roared.

Garrus pushed through the others for a better look. A whimper came from beneath Javik as a terrified looking salarian materialized, eyes bigger than saucers as he lay beneath the scrutinizing gaze of a 50,000 year old prothean.

Upon noticing more people around him, the salarian threw up his hands in submission, stammering, "P-Please don't k-kill me!"

Archangel bent down on one knee, grabbing the petrified salarian by the front of his shirt, lifting his head and shoulders from the ground, as Javik remained seated on top of him.

"Who the hell are you?" Archangel snarled.

"P-please!"

Javik stood up, hands flaring with green biotics, "Insubordination was the equivialant of death in my time."

"P-please! N-No! Okay… Okay… I'm M-Maelon! Maelon Heplorn!" he shrieked.

Whispers of surprise echoed around the darkened clinic. At least they now knew who the blip on Garrus' visor belonged to, answering one of their many questions… from which even more spawned.

* * *

_Shepard sat at her desk, finishing her report of what happened on Tuchanka. Miranda was probably in her quarters, doing the same. The Cerberus XO would pass hers onto the Illusive Man, but Garrus knew Shepard was Alliance military through and through, no matter what colors she wore. She would forward her report on to Admiral Hackett, but through a secured network, of course._

_As Garrus walked through the door of Shepard's cabin, she tapped 'send' on her omni-tool, and sighed heavily, spinning her chair around to face him._

_"What's up?" she asked. He paused before speaking, thinking carefully how he would word this conversation. He didn't want to sound as if he was questioning her motives, but he wanted to know why._

_"Shepard…," he began slowly. "You know that I trust you above anyone else and I respect your decisions on a mission… but… I'm trying to understand why you let Maelon go, when he admitted to the war crimes he committed..."_

_She chuckled, a thin smirk playing across her lips, "The same reason Sidonis was able to walk away from our little encounter."_

_Garrus furrowed his brow plates, "But he lived because you stepped in my way…"_

_"No… Sidonis could have died if you really had wanted it," she said confidently._

_"But-"_

_"But nothing Garrus. You had plenty of time to take the shot if you had wanted to. You could have also shot through me to get to him." Shepard said, leaning heavily in her chair._

_"I couldn't have-"_

_"No," she interrupted. "You could have, if you had truly wanted him dead."_

_He scratched his unscarred mandible thoughtfully, his back against the fish tank. Before he was able to think of anything to say, Shepard spoke again, "Garrus… you and Mordin are both good people that have had a multitude of bad things happen to you… I… As I said before… revenge… it can change you…"_

_Her voice trailed off as she stared down at her hands laying her in her lap. Garrus glanced at the desk behind her, waiting for her to speak again. The desk, he noticed, was in an unusual state of disarray with datapads strewn across it. A small pile of used dishes stacked haphazardly on top of one another, lay forgotten in one corner. Among the mess and disorder, Garrus realized, with a swelling of his heart, the frame that had once held a picture of Kaidan was lying face down._

_"I just wanted you both to see there are_ _options_ _other than revenge…" Shepard said. "And who knows… maybe somewhere down the line, Sidonis or Maelon could have some bigger part to play in all of this," she said, gesturing in the air. "And remember we did them a favor by sparing their lives."_

_"Or it could turn around and come back to bite us in the ass…" Garrus muttered. Shepard snorted, "Always the pessimist… And you've been spending too much time among humans… You're beginning to pick up on some of our sayings."_

_"So let me get this straight… What you're saying is that we could have killed them, had we wanted it badly enough… You interjected just to show us there are other options, but not to necessarily stop us from going through with it… That was ultimately our decision?" he said, frowning._

_Shepard stood up, nodding slowly, "Yes… we always have a choice… I'm beginning to understand that is what separates us from synthetics… from the Reapers…"_

* * *

Garrus unfolded his rifle and flicked on its flashlight, pointing it at the spooked salarian. And sure enough, he recognized Maelon's scrunched up features, his shifty eyes and slicked back horns.

"What the hell are you doing here Maelon?" Archangel growled, gun still pointed in the salarian's face.

"I- I can explain!" he screeched, wincing as Garrus' rifle inched threateningly closer to him.

Liara pushed her way toward Garrus and placed a hand tenderly on his shoulder, in a very Shepard sort of way.

"Garrus…," she said gently. "He knows something… You saw him in the security vid. We can't kill him yet."

Maelon nodded his head eagerly against the floor, "Yes… YES! Listen to the asari!"

Archangel groaned and moved his booted foot to the salarian's throat, his subharmonics teeming with an underlying rage and frustration, "I'm going to let you up… for a chance to explain yourself. Try to escape, and I will kill you. Lie to me, and I'll kill you. I want to know everything you know. Understand?"

"Y-Yes…" the salarian croaked.

"Satisfied?" the turian said to Liara, releasing Maelon. Liara nodded, but removed her pistol from its holster and pointed it at Maelon, just in case.

Javik stood up, rolling his four eyes, mumbling, "Stupid primatives."

Maelon got to his feet, hands rubbing together nervously and knees quaking. Wrex shifted in front of the only exit, blocking the escape, if Maelon decided to run.

"I- I remember you," Maelon said, pointing a finger at Garrus. "You were with Shepard and Mordin on Tuchanka!" He turned to Wrex, saying, "And you're the leader of clan Urdnot. Congratulations on finding a cure for the genophage… something I wasn't expecting to happen any time soon…"

He paused and looked around the rest of the group, frowning when someone he expected wasn't among them. "Where is Mordin? And Shepard?"

"Mordin died curing the genophage… He was willing to give his own life to save all of Tuchanka, rather than subjugating countless to death and torture," Wrex growled.

"Oh… Uh… I- I'm sorry hear that…," Maelon said, hanging his head and wringing his hands more uneasily than before.

"As for Shepard," started Archangel, crossing his arms in front of him. "We were hoping you could tell us that…"

Maelon scrunched up his face, disgust and confusion overtaking his features.

"I can't- Why- What would make you think I know where the Commander is?" he stammered.

"We saw the security vid. You were doing something to Shepard," Garrus said. "And I want to know what."

"N- No. I can't!"

"Enough of these games, salarian!" Javik shouted, his hands flaring to life with green biotics. Wrex stepped forward to intercept the prothean, hands on his shotgun.

"The pyjack knows something, and I'll be damned if I let you ruin our chances of finding Shepard," rumbled Wrex menacingly. Javik glowered at the hulking krogan, staring up the barrel of his gun.

"Knock it off! The both of you!" shouted Garrus to Wrex and Javik. He turned to Maelon "I'll ask you again. Where is Shepard?"

"I- uh- I- I can't!" Maelon clawed at his own face. "You don't understand! I can't tell you! They'll kill me!"

Hannah Shepard approached the terrified salarian, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Javik groaned irritably, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. Maelon jerked under the Admiral's touch.

"Maelon Heplorn is it?" she asked quietly. Garrus was taken aback by the tenderness in her voice, as if she was speaking to a small and frightened child. After a brief pause, Maelon nodded slightly in response.

Those present grew quiet, watching the scene before them, unfold. Genuine concern was etched upon Hannah's face.

"What is it that you're doing here, Maelon?" she whispered.

He rubbed the back of his neck, breathing heavily, "I- uh… They sent me…"

"Who, honey? Who sent you?"

"Um…," was all he could manage.

"It's okay. You're safe here. You can tell us. You can tell _me_ ," Hannah said softly. Javik snorted in his corner, scoffing at the conversation. Garrus shot him a threatening look, silently advising him to keep his thoughts to himself.

"Was it Cerberus?" the Admiral said.

"No! I mean… yes! I mean… sort of!" Maelon squawked, rubbing his eyes furiously. His behavior was becoming increasingly more erratic and odd, unsettling Garrus with every broken sentence. Maelon breathed deeply through his tiny nostrils, in an attempt to regain his composure.

"Ugh! I'm dead already… I might as well tell you… They'll find out what I did… Th- They won't like it one bit…," he began. Over the next fifteen minutes, the salarian recounted his tale of what happened after he left Tuchanka. "I returned here, to Omega… to continue Mordin's work in this very clinic, hoping I might one day forgive myself for what I had put those female krogan through. I wanted to do anything I could to right the wrong of the genophage. So… I spent the next year or so here, helping those less fortunate than I, un- until Cerberus came.

"They overthrew Omega, shut down my clinic and captured me, with the intention of killing me, because I was salarian. I managed to talk them out of it… telling them I could help… I knew genetics... I knew genocide… biowarfare… I knew war… and how to play the game… They allowed to me live, so long as I helped them with what they asked of me…

"I'm ashamed to admit it… b-but I helped them create the adjutants…" he said, hanging his hand and looking at his feet.

Liara frowned, shaking her head, "The adjutants were Reaper foot soldiers… Cerberus didn't create them…"

"True… they were originally Reapers… until Cerberus… or rather… the Illusive Man… found a way to overwrite the Reaper code and create their own to control the adjutants, making them obedient slaves… They were the perfect killing machine… capable of wiping out an entire, unsuspecting colony of aliens. The Illusive Man was searching for a way to overwrite the code in the Reapers themselves… to control them. His ultimate goal, as crazy as it sounds, was to become an entity, shedding his human visage, and bending organic life to his will… like... like a god."

"Impossible," spat Javik from his place among the shadows.

It was Maelon's turn to scoff, "You obviously have no idea what Cerberus was… is capable of, or of what sort of power they wield… I- It's not of this realm..."

A sudden thought occurred to Garrus… something he had not thought of in a long while… something he never imagined he would repeat… _There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own, you cannot even imagine…_

Garrus was unaware he had said it aloud, as the others turned to him, confusion written upon all their faces, except Liara's. Her eyes widened in understanding.

"Soveriegn," she breathed. Turning to Maelon, and shaking with anticipation, she said, "This galaxy… this universe… exists on a single plan? Th-there are others?!"

The salarian twisted his face, nodding slowly, "There are only several beings that are aware of this… The Reapers, the leviathan, and a handful of others across time… The exposure of other realms would cause the entirety of existence to unravel."

"If this were true, salarian, my people's scientists would have discovered these _realms_ long ago…" Javik hissed angrily.

"No… they would not have… You don't get it!" Maelon shouted. "Ugh! I can't speak of it! They will hear me… They'll know, the moment I speak of them."

Garrus was convinced the salarian had lost his mind, but Liara seemed inclined to believe him. Glancing toward the others, he spotted Wrex yawning, by the door and Tali cradling her shotgun loosely in her hands, helmeted head leaning casually against Wrex's arm. Neither seemed too interested in this… _other worldly_ crap… Hell… he was beginning to grow tired of this guesswork and nonsense. His father's brow plates were arched, seemingly unimpressed as well.

Hannah Shepard massaged her temples with her index fingers, attempting to sort through this mess. "Okay…," she said finally. "Tell us of my daughter."

Maelon puffed out his chest, gathering his courage to continue with his account. His features had softened and it no longer seemed as if he was contending with himself.

"She's being held at the new Cerberus headquarters…," he held up his hand just as Garrus was about to ask where it was. "I can't tell you where it is because I am unsure of its location myself, but it's not a far journey between here and there… a few days… perhaps…

"I don't know what they want with her… but they made me surgically implant a mind control chip to the base of her brain… I tampered with it the best I could… to make it not function properly… she was able to fight it for some time… but I fear they're doing a number of other things to her… to crumble her resolve… to bend her to their needs… I-I've seen weaker people succumb to their torture quicker than she… Shepard's strong… but everyone has their breaking point…"

Garrus' insides twisted into angry knots as Maelon recounted his story. He wanted to throttle the salarian for all of Cerberus' misguided deeds. Admiral Shepard fought off tears of her own as she listened, wiping them away furiously with the back of her hand. Other than a slight, uncomfortable shift, Tychus gave no indication of his skeptism.

"I don't care who you are… Shepard doesn't deserve this… any of this… she never did…," Maelon continued. "I came back to Omega because Cerberus thought you might be coming here… They asked me to spring a trap to kill you... to end your plight once and for all… but I followed you, after I set it up… to make sure it was never sprung while you were here… I left her omni-tool for you to find it, in case something should have happened to me… I had hoped it would allow you to find her somehow."

"What sort of trap?" Garrus asked.

It was Maelon's turn to chuckle derisively, "A bomb."

"What is it with bombs these days? First the one on Virmire, then the one on Tuchanka… and now this one…," groaned Wrex.

Maelon shrugged and pulled up his omni-tool, "It's set to go off in exactly 11 minutes and 53 seconds. You better get the hell out of here… I-I can try to disable it, but I'm not promising anyth-"

He was cut off by a deep, guttural scream from outside the clinic door, followed by another a bit further away.

"Of course…," groaned Maelon, rolling his eyes, exasperated.

"Spirits!" whispered Tychus.

"What the hell was that?!" Garrus demanded, unfolding his rifle, and signaling the others to do the same.

"What else… but adjutants," said Maelon, ripping up a loose floor tile, opposite the door. Garrus swore under his breath, and then shouted "Where is this bomb?!"

"Right here," said Maelon, looking quite pleased with himself. Garrus looked into the space below the floors, and sure enough, there was a five foot around, metallic sphere, with a timer on it that read _9:47_ , _9:46_ , _9:45_ … "There's a vent above us that leads out of here. You should-"

Wrex interrupted the salarian, "We all won't be able fit through there!"

"And I'm not leaving anyone behind!" shouted Garrus. Glancing at the heat signatures on his visor, he noticed at least half a dozen adjutants beyond the doorway. Turning to Maelon a final time, Garrus said, "You're not coming with us, are you?"

The salarian snorted, "Plans change… I need to make sure this bomb goes off as scheduled. Hopefully I can get these damn things to pay attention to me after you ambush them, and destroy them once and for all. I pray these are all the adjutants that are left."

_8:58_ , _8:57_ , _8:56_ …

Maelon stood up, extending his shaking hand. "Good luck," he said. "And remember… don't go towards the light. It can be deceiving."

Garrus nodded, and slowly, skeptically, said, "Uh… To you as well, Maelon… Thank you."

_8:44_ , _8:43_ , _8:42_ …

"Ready?" Archangel said, charging his Overload.

"Ready!" came the response of his six companions.

"And Vakarian?" Maelon said, drawing his own pistol. "If it's any consolation, she spoke of you often… Even under extreme… err… circumstances… she called out for you…"

And with that, Archangel surged ahead of his comrades, with all the fury of hell, and kicked open the clinic door to face an onslaught of hideous creatures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think... comments, criticisms, words of wisdom... they're always welcomed!


	13. The Nightmare's Just Begun

Dr. Cyrus Shepard sunk wearily into his leather chair. He adjusted his glasses and ran a hand through his greying black hair. Things were not going the way he had intended, and those he answered to were not going to be pleased.

Letting out a heavy groan, he flicked on his monitor and tapped record on his omni-tool.

"Project Aleya… is not going according to the plan…," he started, attempting to find the right words amidst his frustration. "With preliminary test results, we had high hopes. Subject 16's body accepted the new implants and upgrades… As for the mind control chip… After an initial infection, the body seemingly accepted that, as well…,"

Cyrus paused. _This was not going to be easy_ , he thought to himself. Standing up, he glanced out the window behind him, and away from his monitor. The flicker of the multitude of stars eased his mind and after a few moments, he was able to regain his composure.

Placing both hands on his desk, Cyrus continued, "The subject's mind… _Shit_ … The subject's mind however, is something else entirely. It is a force to be reckoned with… I have never seen anything like this before…

"Several other subjects lasted far beyond our expectations before they died: 5, 6, 10 and 14… but 16… 16… _she_ continues to fight the chip longer than anyone else… We are able to gain control for brief periods of time before she is able to realize what is happening and all hell breaks loose…

"I fear if we implement any more extreme measures, 16 will break… more so than she already is… and all that we have worked for… will be for nothing… But… per our orders… tomorrow… we begin use of what little dark energy we have harnessed… Perhaps this will be the final piece of the puzzle to Subject 16's subjugation…

"I often wonder… if we're doing the right thing… I… I don't necessarily… revel in what I've done to 16… but… but it's for the best… She's our best hope for… for my plans… for Cerberus' plans…

"As much as I wish it could be someone else… it has to be her… _They_ said it had to be her…

Cyrus stopped the recording, head hanging, and allowed the silence to wash over him. Adjusting his glasses once more, he pulled open a drawer on his desk. Searching among a number of datapads, broken chips, and several disks, he finally found what he was looking for.

Lifting the small datapad from its resting place, he cradled it gently in his arms as if it were something precious to him.

For the next five minutes, he sat like this, rocking himself back and forth in his leather chair. He hated who… what he had become when he was in the lab… Cyrus Shepard had been lost long ago… and in his place was an unrecognizable _monster_ , capable of horrendous things.

Looking down at the datapad he held in his arms, his eyes wandered over the picture… It reflected a much happier time in his life…

The picture had been taken six months before he left his family forever. It depicted his wife, home from deployment. Hannah was wearing an officer's uniform, neatly pressed and flawless. But upon her head was a pink, plastic tiara. She was laughing at a young Aurora. Aurora had dress up clothes scattered about the tiny room, and was wearing every piece of play jewelry she had. Cyrus himself was wearing a pair of plastic sunglasses, over top his normal ones, both of which were askew on the bridge of his nose. They were all smiling…

Aurora looked just like her mother… except for her nose…

They had been the perfect family…

The Aurora in the picture no longer resembled the Subject in her cell three floors below Cyrus…

Realizing this, he said to himself, _Fuck… what have I done?_

But in response to his own doubts, he answered to the darkness, aloud, "Humanity must be uplifted… No matter the cost…"

* * *

_As the Reapers advanced, all of London, hell, all of Earth, fought a losing battle. Buildings crumpled and fell in mountains of dust and ash, as Reaper dreadnoughts pressed forward, pushing back battalions at a time. Screams and gunfire could be heard beyond the main FOB from ground forces on either side. Throughout the Forward Operations Base, soldiers spoke of plans of attack and counted their losses in hushed voices. Urdnot Wrex's voice carried over several toppled buildings as he spoke to his unit._

_Garrus was coordinating with a turian general as Shepard walked into the ruined building. The other turian continued to speak as Garrus watched Shepard glance his way and turn towards the Primarch, a shadow of doubt flitting across her face before she recovered from it. As brief as it was, he still noticed it._

_If anyone else but Garrus had looked at her, they would have seen her as confident and sure this war was going to turn in their favor... they would have seen her as the war hero that she was. But he noticed the way her shoulders were slumped a bit, how she dragged her feet across the broken concrete floor, and how she faked a smile for the Primarch, thanking him for keeping his promise. He also took a glimpse at her biometrics through his visor. They were off the charts. Her heart rate was elevated, as was her blood pressure, and her breathing had quickened, reflecting her nervousness about the impending battle. He knew she was doubtful anything good would come of this._

_As she approached him, Garrus quickly finished his conversation with other turian and turned toward her._

_"Shepard…," he breathed. "So I guess this is…"_

_"Just like old times?" she finished, leaning back, averting her eyes and avoiding him, choosing to look at the wall to his right instead._

_He was unsure of whether he should laugh or not, considering the circumstances they found themselves in._

_"Hmm… Might be the last chance we get to say that," he said, inching slightly toward her. She frowned up at him, finally making eye contact._

_"What? You think we're gonna lose?" she asked, her voice trembling._

_"No… I think we're about to kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of… Then we're going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids…," he paused, chuckling to himself. Cautiously, he continued, "Maybe… even find out what a turian-human baby looks like…"_

_Surprisingly, Shepard managed to laugh, in spite of what they were getting into. She even cracked a smile, the corners of her mouth turning upward._

_"I'm game… though I think adoption's a better idea… Biology may not cooperate," she said, the smile slowly flickering out like a flame. She crossed her arms and sank into a hip, as she always did when she was regarding someone or a situation._

_"Huh… I suppose there will be a lot of little krogan around soon…"_

_She hung her head and broke eye contact, her doubts returning, "We just have to beat the Reapers first…"_

_Garrus turned slightly away from her, quickly trying to think of something… anything… to say that would comfort her. Recalling a conversation he and Vega had during their shore leave, he said, "James told me there's an old saying here on Earth, 'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead…'" Turning back to face her, he continued, "Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours… But if this thing goes sideways, and we both end up there… meet me at the bar… I'm buying."_

_She lowered her voice, perhaps to keep the Primarch from overhearing, or perhaps because she was struggling to even say it, "We're a team, Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian…" Then almost as if scolding him, she said, "So you better remember to duck."_

_On a whim, without even thinking about it, he attempted to make the dumbest joke of his life. Even before it was out of his mouth, he wished he could have taken it back and said something smarter… funnier… more comforting…, "Sorry. Turians don't know how… but I'll improvise."_

_Recovering from the rubbish that had fallen from his mandibles, and before Shepard could say anything else, he said, "And Shepard… Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you…"_

_He reached out and took both her gloved hands in his, squeezing them gently. Their armor clanked awkwardly together as he pulled her even closer, though he ignored it. Looking her dead in the eyes, he said with all the gravity of the universe, "Come back alive… It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you…"_

_A single tear leaked from the corner of her eye, and streamed down her cheek. Inhaling, she rose up on her tippy toes, and pressed her lips to his mandibles as hard as she could. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she grasped his neck, her gloved fingers, running over his scars. He didn't need his visor to feel her heart beating out of her chest, her face now stained with tears. She leaned in, close to his ear and whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, "Goodbye Garrus… And if I'm up there at that bar, and you're not… I'll be looking down…"_

_Her voice quavered and finally cracked, "You'll never be alone…"_

_Reluctantly, they broke apart, and she walked away, furiously wiping her eyes and her face of tears._

_As the door she walked through, shut, Garrus exhaled and whispered to no one in particular, "Never…" Hoisting his Black Widow over his shoulder, he quietly added, "I love you, Shepard…"_

_An inexplicable sadness abruptly seeped through him, and hung over his head for the next few moments, like a black rain cloud, as the Primarch eyed him curiously from the other side of the room._

* * *

Garrus couldn't decide which was worse: an onslaught of at least half a dozen adjutants in front of him and his squad, or another Cerberus bomb, waiting to blow them and the enemy to kingdom come, behind them.

He could hear Maelon shouting at them, "Go! Get the hell out of here! I'll try to distract them!" But these monstrosities were much larger and more hideous than he had anticipated.

As Tali sent out her defense drone and Javik's biotics flared to life, Garrus tapped his ear piece to hail the _Normandy_.

"Joker, I need an exit within the next eight minutes!" he barked to the Flight Lieutenant through the open commlink.

"Ah man, I was hoping to have a quick drink at Afterlife before we-"

"Now Joker! We got six adjutants and a bomb to contend with-" he growled, swinging up his rifle, and aiming down the sights.

Joker took a moment to reply, confusion and panic in his voice, "What the shit? Where the hell did a bomb come fr-"

Garrus was becoming increasingly impatient, "I said NOW! We're in the Gozu District, heading out of Mordin's old medical clinic!" He pulled the trigger and hit one adjutant square in the face, causing it to take a step back from impact, before it continued its advance.

"Damnit. They're not going down very easily!" Hannah yelled to whoever was listening, as she sent a bombardment of gunfire into another's chest. "We're going to have to try different tactics to at least get around them!"

Joker muttered something about being so damn serious and a stick up someone's ass before he continued, "Alright, I've got you on my sensors. It doesn't look like there's a docking area anywhere near your location. I could send Cortez in the shuttle…"

"No! No time for that!" Garrus surveyed his surroundings. Tali and Wrex had taken on one of the adjutants by themselves, showering it with shotgun rounds. It screamed, spraying them with acidic like spittle. Tali shrieked as some of it hit her environmental suit, seeping through the dense cloth. Wrex pushed her aside as she crumbled to the ground, charging the enemy with his head down. Pumping it with a barrage from his Claymore, he sent the adjutant barrel-rolling to the ground. In one swift movement, Wrex was on top of it, beating it with the stock of his gun. He didn't stop until the monster's head was crushed into a bloody pulp, and it was left, unmoving.

"You're going to have to blast a hole through to us!" Garrus said urgently.

"But how-"

Javik chucked one of his lift grenades at an adjutant when Liara threw a powerful Singularity at it. The creature was lifted off its feet and into the air, tumbling head over heels. The prothean sent out a Slam, just as it was high enough for a devastating drop to the street. Garrus heard the crunch and splintering of bones as it crashed into the concrete, motionless.

"Joker! I don't care what you use! Just get us the hell out of here!" Garrus yelled over the comm, switching out his Black Widow for Shepard's Geth Pulse rifle.

"Alright! Alright!" Joker snapped back. "Priming the Javelins. You guys better take cover. I can't promise an accurate strike… The weapons' systems are all out of whack."

"Find cover!" Garrus shouted to both squads. He could here Maelon back in the clinic, bellowing at the four adjutants to come his way. Pistol fire went off, and two of them turned in his direction, leaving Garrus and the others to contend with the two remaining creatures.

They found refuge behind a low, broken wall. Garrus and Javik hopped over the ruined mortar with ease. Hannah and Liara helped a limping Tychus, and Wrex half dragged a fallen Tali to the shelter of their barricade.

"Is she going to be ok?" Liara asked, spying Tali.

"Infection already, I think," growled Wrex, his omni-tool lighting up as he dispensed some of his medi-gel to the quarian.

The Admiral blind fired her rifle over top the collapsed wall, saying, "We need help!"

"I'm working on it!" Garrus retorted back. "Anytime now Joker!"

After a several very long moments of dead air, the flight lieutenant finally said, "Firing in three… two… one…"

Two torpedoes crashed into the side of the asteroid, with a resounding blast that reverberated and shook all of Omega.

"The asari queen isn't going to be pleased with that," stated Javik. Hannah rolled her eyes, "No shit."

"And I doubt she's gonna like it when it happens again in just a couple of minutes," Garrus said. "Everyone! Get to the _Normandy_!" The turian listened for the gunfire in the clinic. When he thought he finally pinpointed it, the gunfire ceased, and there was a blood curdling scream that followed. Liara winced at the sound of it.

Garrus sent a volley at the two adjutants when he heard the hiss of the airlock as it opened. He was so focused on the task at hand, Garrus didn't notice he had run low on heat sinks, and now his weapon was overheating. Realizing he was screwed should he decide to attempt a reload or engage in physical combat, Garrus slowly backed his way toward the Alliance ship.

The adjutants made a final bound at him, covering the distance between them in an instance. One made a swipe at him, swiping at him. It caught him with its claws on the upper arm, and he began to bleed. Before he could comprehend what was happening, he was hauled off his feet and lifted through the airlock by Javik, Wrex, and Vega who had come to assist them.

Nodding his thanks to them, Garrus sprung to his feet and charged past his comrades, and through the CIC to the cockpit.

Just as he was about to tell the pilot to head for the relay, the commlink flashed on the controls. Joker glanced up at the looming turian before tapping a button to open the line.

Aria's voice filtered through the speakers.

"What the fuck was that?" she seethed furiously.

"Umm… Let's just say, we've done a little... redecorating… You might want to get that looked at," Joker said casually.

"You what?!" the asari raged. Before Joker could further damage the delicate situation, Garrus spoke up, "We found adjutants in the Gozu District. We were under attack and had to blast our way out."

"I swear… If you _ever_ -" Aria began, but Archangel interjected. "A Cerberus bomb is about to detonate any second, and should take out any remaining adjutants in that District, and perhaps more..."

"Archangel, I swear if I _ever_ see you or any one of your friends, I _will_ kill you where you stand. You have ruined-"

But before Aria could finish telling him what he had ruined, a massive explosion rocked the _Normandy_ away from the asteroid, and severed the connection. The force was great enough to send Garrus tumbling to his knees and to capsize Joker from his seat. The lights onboard the ship faltered briefly before returning to full power.

"Thank the spirits, that the shields are still in working condition," Garrus muttered, pulling Joker back into his chair.

"Son of a bitch. I think I broke my hip… and my elbow," the pilot mumbled.

"Just get us the hell out of here," Garrus said miserably.

"Where to?"

"Illium… We need supplies…" he said, turning away from the cockpit.

Upon returning to the CIC, he spotted Liara and Wrex taking an unconscious Tali to the elevator, with Tychus limping and bringing up the rear.

Admiral Shepard stood next to Garrus, her arms folded in front of her.

"I just spoke with Miranda. She thinks she might have a lead," said Hannah, eyeing the turian's injured and bleeding arm. "You might want to get that cleaned up… And for God's sake, Garrus, get some sleep. You look like shit."

He sighed, "I'm fine…"

He took off towards the closed elevator. Clutching Shepard's omni-tool tightly in his hand, he added quietly, "I'll sleep when I'm dead."


	14. We're All Mad Here

_The mission to Desponia was turning out to be a nightmarish one. Their shuttle had been hit by an unknown energy surge, Garrus and Liara were being outflanked by Reaper forces, Shepard had been gone for over an hour, there had been no sign of Leviathan, and to top it all off, it was raining. Garrus swore even his bones were soaked from the torrential downpour. Much longer and they would certainly drown from the storm or be annihilated by the Reapers… and drowning turians weren't a pretty sight._

_Cortez was located further down the deck of the ship, working on the Kodiak. After what seemed like an eternity, the shuttle pilot finally shouted, "Almost got it!" He was barely audible over the crashing of the waves, but the shuttle was nearly ready._

_Garrus spun around in Cortez's direction as Liara continued to blast the enemy with her biotics and smg pistol._

_"I'm giving Shepard five more minutes. If she's not back by then, we're going down and looking for her!" Garrus roared back into his comm, sending a Concussive Shot into a group of cannibals._

_"I'm not sure if the Kodiak can withstand the pressure!" said Cortez, pulling his own pistol from its holster and firing._

_"You said it yourself before we landed, the Kodiak was built for all terrain combat!"_

_"And that was before it took a nose dive into this damn ship!"_

_"We still have to-" Garrus was interrupted by two brutes that had converged on their position. Husks and cannibals were one thing, but heavy ground forces like brutes and banshees were something else entirely._

_"Shit…" groaned Cortez. Garrus dropped his Black Widow and opted for his assault rifle, blind firing it over his small bit of cover as Liara sprayed the brutes with her smg, hitting several husks in the process._

_Just then, there was a very audible and very loud clang of metal on metal that came from their right. Looking in the direction of the sound, Garrus spotted Shepard's mech, clambering to stay upright as it powered down. Relief washed over him as the mech opened up, revealing Shepard._

_Almost immediately, however, that relief changed to fear as he realized something was wrong._

_Shepard toppled forward out of the mech onto her hands and knees, her nose bleeding profusely. The brutes took notice to the situation as well, turning toward her instead. Shepard glanced at the enemy and attempted to stand. She wavered a bit, walked a few steps on shaking feet and fell to the ground once more, unmoving. The Triton Mech behind her, keeled over backwards and tumbled into the violent sea._

_Garrus jumped to his feet as the scene unfolded, the brutes advancing ever closer to Shepard, with one beginning to raise its mangled claw to strike down at her._

_"No…," he breathed._

_"Shepard!" Liara called out, but their commander remained motionless on the deck._

_All of a sudden, much to all of their surprise, the brute closest to Shepard turned on heel and struck the other with its appendage. The second let out a terrifying, guttural howl and retaliated._

_Garrus took the brawl as an opportunity and sprinted to Shepard's side. Heart nearly beating through his ribcage, he hauled Shepard to her feet and slung her arm around his neck. Dragging her back to the shuttle, he said into his comm, "Shepard's back! Cortez, talk to me!"_

_He watched the Kodiak lift off and circle around to a better position to meet them._

_"We're good to go," came Cortez's reply. "I don't know what the Commander did, but the pulse is offline."_

_Dodging under and around the two fighting brutes, Garrus didn't respond. Upon reaching the shuttle, he hoisted Shepard up and onto the floor of the Kodiak, Liara covering their retreat with gunfire, while Garrus had his back turned._

_"Let's go Liara!" Garrus shouted, clambering up after his commander. Husks swarmed on their position, scaling the shuttle with impossible swiftness. Liara continued to fire her weapon as they lifted off and the shuttle door closed right, shutting out the storm._

_Garrus was knelt down beside Shepard, his omni-tool glowing around his forearm, as he rapidly punched in numbers to get a read on her vitals._

_"Shepard! Wake up!" he cried, his subvocals teeming with panic and anxiety. "She's freezing!"_

_Without warning, Shepard bolted upright, coughing with water spewing from her lips. Garrus finally let out the breath he had been holding in for the last few minutes, relief once again swelling within him._

_"Garrus?" she mumbled, still short of breath._

_"It's ok. I'm here," he whispered._

_"Garrus?" she said again, only this time, louder. "Garrus where are you?!" she repeated, looking around wildly._

_"I'm here! I'm right here!" he said, alarmed. She looked straight at him. It was only then did he realize she was bleeding not only from her nose, but her mouth as well, her eyes glazed over._

_He glanced at her chest, and what he saw terrified him. Her armor looked as if it had been burned and scorched by an extreme heat. He could smell her burning skin as it fused tighter and tighter with the chest plate. Exposed beneath it all, her ribcage was blackened from fire and ash, and her heart beat against bone, as if it was frantically struggling to escape._

_"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Please! Shepard!" his voice breaking, as he pleaded with her to hear him._

_"Garrus?!" she called out for a third time. "Garrus?!"_

* * *

"Garrus? Garrus?" Tychus Vakarian's voice came from a distance, jolting Garrus from his stupor. Several moments of blinking himself back to reality, and with stark realization, Garrus looked down at his feet, becoming aware he was standing on the gangplank leading from the Normandy to a docking port in Nos Astra.

"Sorry… What?" he replied, attempting to shake the feeling his daydream had left. Concern was etched upon his father's aged face. "I said 'are you alright?'"

"Yeah… Yeah… I'm fine," Garrus answered, his thoughts and his heart in another star system entirely, as his father gazed at him as if he had gone _mad_.


	15. The Widening Gyre

Illium looked just the same as it ever did, nearly untouched and unsoiled by the Reapers. Skyscrapers stretched off into the horizon as far as the eye could see, reaching high into the heavens, and caressing the soft clouds, like fingertips entwined in hair. The neon lights of the skyline and passing cars glittered in the evening haze like stars from a far off galaxy.

Rumor had it, that due to the large amount investors wanting to protect their assets, the leaders of Illium were able to procure a considerable sized defense fleet and an excessive number of fission weapons to assault the Reaper ground transports, rather than launching an offensive against the larger Reaper ships. This tactic had slowed the attack on Illium to nearly a halt, leaving the planet and a large portion of her cities unscathed.

The Nos Astra shipping port bustled with throngs of people, despite it being nearly midnight Alliance Standard Time. Several long lines of travelers stood impatiently in front of even longer information desks, shouting complaints to exasperated attendants. The trading floor was alive with vendors and prospective clients bartering over items and their prices.

All the while, Garrus shifted uncomfortably in his asari sized chair, his body screaming at him to find a larger place to sit. Sighing and leaning his head against the cold, hard wall, he scrolled through his omni-tool aimlessly, his mind elsewhere.

Being here, on Illium, made his insides twist and writhe. He despised this place nearly as much as Omega. Beneath the glitz and glamor, behind the flashing lights and the luminous billboards, and between the ritzy vacation destinations and wealthy corporations, lie an even more sinister underworld than one could imagine. Secrets, and greed, and death littered every street corner as a whisper spoken in dark shadows, or a briefcase traded in the soft, orange glow of omni-tools, or the flash of a knife moving swiftly enough for it to be missed before a target fell to the ground, silenced forever. Fraud, slavery, drugs, theft, and sometimes murder were all welcomed in this hell hole. Garrus could taste the deception of this place on the air, and it left a bad taste upon his tongue. It took every ounce of his being to not unleash Archangel on Illium, and spend the next six months ridding this world of its evils and vices.

But as it were, he had more pressing matters at hand.

Garrus waited for Liara to finish her meeting with Feron and a mysterious associate. "I have a very important colleague to meet with... Wait for me here," she had said, pointing to the desk outside her office, and looking more distracted than usual. That was two hours and three minutes ago.

The other crew members were presently gathering some much needed supplies to restock the ship with essentials. Hannah Shepard was somewhere on the docks helping Lt. Vega and Alenko take inventory as provisions and materials were brought back to the _Normandy_. Garrus could hear the Admiral barking orders to the junior crew members, "Be careful with that!" or "Put it in the cargo hold!"

When the Normandy had docked, Javik had been the first one to the airlock and had disappeared into a horde of joyful and babbling tourists, vanishing completely from view.

Traynor and Joker had ordered some much needed retrofits and repairs. When the workers arrived on site and began to question why this particular Alliance ship was out of dry dock, Garrus had interjected, flashing an ID and a copious amount of credits if they did the job without question and kept their mouths shut. Understanding he was Palaven's newest primarch, they nodded enthusiastically, accepted the credit transfer and began working almost immediately.

Garrus looked up from his omni-tool just in time to see his father round the corner and limp his way up the stairs to where Garrus was seated.

"How's your quarian friend doing? Tali?" Tychus said, as he finally reached the top of the stairs and sat down in a chair next to his son, breathing heavily.

"Still in the medbay… She'll be out the rest of the night, but Chakwas assures me her fever broke and she'll be fine by morning," Garrus sighed, rubbing his eyes from exhaustion.

"Still waiting for Liara to come out of her secret meeting?" Tychus asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah,"

"Any idea what it pertained to?" said the elder Vakarian.

"No," came the short reply

After several moments of silence, Tychus continued, suspicion echoing in his subharmonics, "Can you really trust the Shadow Broker, son?"

Garrus slowly turned to his father, mandibles flared in exasperation. "You can't be serious?!" he breathed, a hint of anger on the edge of his voice.

"Sorry Garrus… Old habits die hard, I suppose…," Tychus said slowly. "Something I learned as a detective… 'Everyone's a suspect'…"

Another hesitation before he continued to press the issue, "How can you be so sure though? I mean, really sure? Of any of them?"

Garrus buried his face into his hands, pushing his closed eyes into the calloused heels of his hands, hardly believing what he was hearing from his father.

"Because Shepard trusted them," he said, his anger rising quickly.

"Garrus, please understand…," Tychus began, trying to rationalize his thought process. "I'm just trying to see this… situation… from all angles… Like any good cop would…"

"Don't, dad…," he said, jumping to his feet, infuriatedly. "Just… don't go there."

"But… Maybe she could have been wrong… Maybe she placed her trust in the wrong people… From everything you've told me… It seems as if Cerberus has always been one step ahead of the game. What if there was… or is… a traitor amongst those you call 'friend'?"

"These people are more than just _friends_ to me… to Shepard," growled Garrus, as he began to pace furiously. "They helped us take down Saren and Sovereign. They followed us to the very core of the galaxy to defeat the Collectors. They were all there when the Reapers were defeated… And I would do it again in a heartbeat. Shepard trusted them with her life… and so do I… So if you can't accept that, dad, or you distrust even just one of them, then I suggest you hitch a ride on the next shuttle back to Palaven."

Tychus shook his head wearily. Garrus could tell his father was disappointed with him, but he didn't care. Garrus knew who his friends were; he knew who he could trust.

"Don't you see, Garrus? This is the same position you were in when you called me on Omega… One of your allies betrayed you," Tychus reached out his hand and touched Garrus' blemished mandible, eyeing the scars that ran the length of his neck and disappeared underneath the cowl of his armor. "And you almost died because of it."

Garrus jerked his head way from Tychus' outreached hand, and scowled at his father.

"Why did you come with me then?" he snapped. "To criticize me? To tell me you don't approve? Is that it? I thought we were past all that!"

Tychus' demeanor changed almost immediately. The elder turian rose up to full height, puffing out his chest and squaring up his shoulders. His mandibles flared at his son and his hands clenched into fists. Had Garrus been just a few years younger, he would have cowered at how intimidating his father was at the moment, but he was older now. He knew better...

"You make too many rash decisions," Tychus growled. "If you knew any better, you would open your eyes and consider the possibility there may be a traitor in your midst. But you're blinded by-"

"Blinded by what, exactly?!" Garrus shouted interrupting his father, whirling around to face Tychus. He was heated. He knew every single one of _these people_ Tychus was speaking of. He had fought alongside them for over three years. You don't win friends and influence people, and forge alliances to win a war, without learning a thing or two about the character or personality of someone.

"Blinded by love? By loyalty? By guilt?" continued Garrus. "You're damn right I am! I swore on my own life I would protect Shepard, and I failed! Not only myself, but I failed her as well! And now… now she's captured by Cerberus, being used in brutal experiments to do _spirits-know-what_ , and there's not a damn thing I could do to stop it all from ever happening!

"But I promise you this, I-I _will_ find her… I'm bringing Shepard home, with the help of this crew… _her_ crew…  and _my_ friends… Be them krogan, quarian, asari, or human, it doesn't matter… I would stand by them through another Reaper war without hesitation. And as I said before, you are more than welcomed to tag along, but if you can't accept this, then I'm not going to tolerate anyone harboring doubts aboard the _Normandy_ , even if that person is my own father."

Tychus slumped in defeat, his head hanging between his shoulders. He knew he was never going to get through to his son, but he prayed to the spirits that Garrus was right… that there were no traitors… But this whole ordeal didn't sit right with him.

* * *

_As the Normandy entered Earth's atmosphere, all those remaining on board had settled into a solemn state. They had recently dropped their remaining human and alien crew off at the Citadel. Tali, Grunt, Jack, Zaeed, Samara, Kasumi, Miranda, Jacob, Thane and Mordin had said their goodbyes and dispersed to go their separate ways. Legion had disappeared long before they had landed, with only a beep at Joker's console to notify him the airlock door was opened. The geth mobile platform had jumped ship, perhaps wanting to avoid any unnecessary confrontations or explanations as to why a geth was onboard an Alliance ship. No one could blame it, especially with what was to come._

_The Normandy had been ordered back to dry dock by the Alliance following the events of the destruction of the Ba'hak System and the Alpha Relay, and much to Shepard's dismay, Garrus had insisted on staying by her side until she was taken into protective custody._

_As the ship docked into the Systems Alliance port in Vancouver, Garrus combed every deck methodically, expecting to find Shepard awaiting orders from her superiors. After a panic stricken ten minutes of searching high and low for his Commander, did he finally think to look in on her private quarters, and sure enough, he found her there, facing the oversized bed, her back turned towards the door as she mumbled to herself._

_Garrus reached out and touched her tenderly on her arm. She jumped and spun around with all the reflexes of a trained soldier, her pistol pointed directly into his chest._

_"Spirits, Shepard," he breathed._

_"Damnit, Garrus," she sighed in relief, but unsmiling. She lowered her Phalanx and rubbed her eyes. Garrus noticed she was wearing her Alliance dress blues, neatly pressed and starched, with not a single wrinkle in sight. Her hair had grown out a bit which she had pulled back into a small, slick ponytail. Without saying another word, Shepard turned back to face the bed._

_The bed itself was made up, it sheets and pillows in the same fashion as Shepard's clothing, neat and tidy. Her suitcase lay open at the foot of it, along with her foot locker. Her personal affects and off-duty clothing were tossed haphazardly into it, as weapons, mods and heat sinks littered the inside of the foot locker. She continued to mutter under her breath, rifling through her things as if she was looking for something._

_"Eight… Nine… Ten…," she whispered. "I've counted these things at least half a dozen times, and while I'm fairly certain I have everything… it still feels as if I'm forgetting... something."_

_Casting a glance around the room and over the luggage, Garrus knew she didn't overlook anything. He knew she was stalling._

_"You don't have to do this…," he said in a low and desperate voice. "You… We could hijack the Normandy and… and go anywhere where they couldn't find you… us…"_

_She let out a huff, the corner of her mouth turning slightly upward into a weak smirk as she allowed herself to briefly imagine what that sort of rogue and intentional desertion would be like… what it could lead to… In the end, her shoulders slumped, and she shook her head wearily._

_"You know I can't do that," she said, placing her pistol into the locker, her shaking hands giving away her anxiety._

_"The Alliance thinks I've already deserted them for Cerberus, and this whole mess with the Alpha Relay," she continued angrily. "Not to mention the Reapers…"_

_Garrus scratched his marred mandible thoughtfully. He had finally been allowed to remove the bandage, but the insatiable itch told him it was still healing._

_"I could come with you…," he said timidly. "To… to back up your statement… or… to… to just be a friend… or something else…"_

_Shepard turned towards him and smiled sadly, "No… you need to go back to Palaven… Prepare your people for the Reapers… Convince them that they are coming…"_

_"And what of us?" Garrus blurted out, almost faster than he could stop himself. Shepard reached up and gently traced the scarring from his mandible down his neckline, her brow furrowed and her face unreadable._

_"I… I don't want to assign a title to anything just yet…" she whispered miserably. "Nothing is certain… and I don't want us dwelling on the 'could have beens' or 'what might have happened'… especially if this all goes sideways… and we never see each other again…"_

_Garrus dropped his head dejectedly… Not the answer he had been hoping for. What had started out simply as a way to alleviate stress, had turned into something far beyond anything he could explain. Yes, Shepard was a human… and his superior… but she was so much more than that now. She was a mentor… his confidant… his friend. She believed in him when no one else would… even when he had lost faith in himself._

_And yet… she had just rejected him… He didn't think she meant to hurt him… The mission ALWAYS took precedent over anything else… even personal relationships. That's how she operated… Hell, it's how he usually worked as well… especially after his failed vigilante career on Omega. But as it stood, it still felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest, stepped on, and handed back to him in a dozen different pieces, on a silver platter._

_All Garrus could do now was react. He grabbed Shepard around the waist, perhaps a bit too eagerly, and hoisted her up into his arms. By the expression on her face, his intense reaction had startled her, but he kissed her the best he knew how… long… hard… and as slow as possible… not wanting it to stop and not wanting to let her go. She responded after the initial shock by throwing her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his slender waist, returning his kiss with just as much heat and passion._

_After several minutes of not being able to keep their hands from perusing each other's bodies, they both stopped abruptly, panting deeply, sweating profusely, and lusting for more._

_Shepard blinked up at him, her sharp, blue eyes full of the same hurt he felt deep within his chest. At that very moment, Garrus knew she didn't want to turn herself in… As she had said… She was doing this because she had to… because the Alliance demanded it._

_And so, with a heavy heart, and a weary sigh, Garrus set Shepard down gently, kissed her one last time and touched his forehead to hers, allowing it to linger just a few moments longer. All too soon, however, their instant together was cut short by the Normandy shuddering around them as the locks of the docking bay grabbed hold, securing the ship in its place._

_Shepard disengaged herself from Garrus and stood up tall, with her head held high, adjusting her dress blues and double checking her ponytail._

_"How do I look?" she asked with a weak smile._

_"Like Commander Shepard…," he said defiantly, and hastily added, "Who isn't looking forward to playing politics."_

_She allowed herself a brief chuckle, "You always know how to cheer me up."_

_"Here… let me walk you to the airlock," he offered, picking up her footlocker and heading towards the door. She grabbed her suitcase and followed him to the elevator._

_"Always the gentleman too," she said._

_Garrus rode the elevator with her to the CIC deck and trailed behind her the entire way to the exit. Joker was spun around in his leather pilot's chair, craning his neck catch a glimpse of what was about to unfold, as EDI's holo blinked next to him._

_Just as the airlock opened with a hiss, Garrus bent close to Shepard's ear and whispered, just loud enough for her to hear, "I'll be waiting for you."_

_She let out a barely audible gasp before striding down the gangplank, standing tall with no expression upon her face._

_Garrus watched as she approached Admiral Hackett, Councilor Anderson, Udina and a squadron of armed guards. This was much more serious than he realized. They weren't taking her into protective custody…_

_"They're actually arresting her?!" Garrus growled angrily to Joker who had hobbled over to him for a better view. "After all she's done for them?! Is this standard Alliance protocol?"_

_Joker shook his head, confusion spreading across his face, reflecting Garrus' own bewildered thoughts. "I don't know what this is…," the flight lieutenant said, perplexed._

_Garrus took two vexed steps towards them before the unit raised their guns and pointed them up at him, ready to open fire if need be. Anderson spotted him and signaled for the guards to lower their weapons as he raced to meet the turian._

_"What the hell is this?" Garrus spat, gesturing at the scene unfolding below. He watched as an arresting officer approached Shepard with a set of handcuffs. A few words were said between the Commander, Hackett and the officer, before Shepard put her hands behind her back, and she was handcuffed. She threw one last glance over her shoulder, meeting Garrus' eye before being led away like a common criminal. A shadow of fear passed over her otherwise unflinching visage that shook him to his core._

_Anderson reached the airlock, winded, and said almost unwillingly, "She's being charged with aiding and abetting a known terrorist organization, treason against the Alliance and the Council, faking her own death, attempted genocide against the batarian race, the destruction of a prothean artifact, and the annihilation of an entire star system."_

_Garrus flicked his mandibles in disbelief. Joker's mouth hung wide open incredulously. Anderson nodded his agreement._

_"It doesn't look good," was all the Councilor could respond with._

* * *

Garrus was relieved when Liara finally called him into her office. The last half hour spent with his father outside the hall had felt as if things had never changed between them, ripe with silent disagreement and condemnation. He suddenly felt the urgent need to put half a galaxy between them once more. That need only grew deeper and more unrelenting as Javik, Wrex and Hannah Shepard appeared at the bottom of the stairs, shifting awkwardly and not making eye contact. The tension could be felt by even a pyjack.

Leaving Tychus behind in the hall, Garrus entered Liara's rotund office with his three companions in tow. Liara stood behind her desk with her arms tightly crossed, as Miranda sat off to the side, a look of discontent upon her unblemished face as she shook her foot apprehensively. Feron bowed silently, excusing himself and left quickly as Garrus walked in.

The feed on Liara's oversized monitor caught Garrus' eye. What he saw caused him to inadvertently take a few startled steps backwards.

On one half of the screen was devoted to Kasumi Goto, the master thief. She waved to Garrus, though did not even attempt to crack a smile.

On the other half of the screen, however, was something else entirely, of a security vid. It depicted the same Cerberus lab they had seen back on Aurora Station. There were half a dozen doctors working at a number of stations, all were wearing white lab coats, their heads turned away from the camera. At the bottom right hand corner, a heart rate monitor was superimposed onto the feed. After about two minutes of nothing more happening on screen and silence throughout Liara's office, a squad of armed Centurions made their way into view with two assault troopers trailing, dragging something… rather _someone_ between them.

Head lolling between shoulders and without much resistance, they hoisted this person, whom Garrus instantly recognized as Shepard, onto the same metal slab, tightened and buckled the necessary shackles, secured her head back and hooked up tiny rubber pads to her exposed chest. The system recognized a heartbeat and began to spike, giving off readings.

Cyrus Shepard came into view as well, checked the restraints and snatched what appeared to be a cattle prod from one of the Centurions. He pressed it into Shepard's abdomen and flicked the switch. The prod sent a surge of electricity riveting through her body as her eyes rolled open and she opened her mouth in a silent scream.

"Wake up!" he shouted, prodding her for a second time.

Shepard coughed out blood, before she began to sob in a way Garrus had never witnessed before. It was a desperate cry for her torture to end once and for all.

Garrus had seen enough to get a sense of what was happening, though he had to ask anyways. Turning to Liara, he asked in a slow and deliberate tone, dreading the answer, "Is this feed-"

"Live?" she finished his thought for him, and nodded, though quite reluctantly. "Yeah… It's live…"

The situation still gave him an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. 


	16. A Fire from the Ashes

The entire room fell into an even more dismayed silence with Liara's revelation. Garrus grabbed hold of the back of a chair with his talons as he felt a wave of nausea wash over him, his stomach jolting into his throat.

Over the blood thundering in his ears, he heard Hannah Shepard say with all the fury of hell itself, "That bastard is going to pay for what he's done…"

Garrus fought to keep Archangel at bay, but his rage and frustration were too intense. He gripped the chair so hard his knuckles were beginning to turn nearly white.

"No… he won't pay… He's going to suffer," Archangel growled, his subharmonics trembling with wrath and loathing. "His whole world, everything he has known… everything he has worked for… will burn and crumbled to pieces before him, before I personally take my time killing him… slowly… and meticulously…"

"Garrus…," Liara said softly. "He needs to be turned into the proper authorities… He needs to…"

"No, T'Soni," said Javik, shaking his head and clenching his fists. "For once, I concur with the turian."

Wrex rumbled his agreement as well, "Shepard doesn't deserve this…"

Liara turned toward Miranda, the asari's eyes pleading for help. The ex-Cerberus operative looked about as uncomfortable as everyone else felt. "I thought my father was the epitome of foul intentions. I wanted to give him a slow and painful death, though he got a much quicker one than I intended," she mused, tapping her foot thoughtfully. "If anyone-"

Liara cut her off, "Alright... Fine... I get it... But that still doesn't mean we know where Cerberus is operating out of... and until we figure that out... Shepard's still in danger."

"Revenge and retribution aside, what I want to know is, how we were able to get our hands on a live feed?" Javik asked suspiciously, eyeing the large monitor. Kasumi flashed the prothean a devious smirk, her dark eyes twinkling beneath the hood of her garments.

"There's a reason why I'm the best at what I do," she said casually, leaning back in her chair. The thief paused for dramatic effect before she continued, but not before nodding at Miranda. "Little Miss Cerberus Cheerleader here, as Jack affectionately calls her, gave me a heads up as to what was going on with our beloved Commander. She also gave me a list of known Cerberus affiliates who may or may not have been still alive after the Cronus Station Incident. All I did was do a little research, select a target, and make sure I was in the right place, at the right time on Earth..."

Kasumi brought up her omni-tool, its orange light glowing sharply against her dark clothing. Scrolling through a number of files, she finally found the one she was looking for and synced it with Liara's monitor.

The file showed a photo of a rather large and portly technician with a receding hairline. His very thick and very large glasses sat upon the bridge of his nose, slightly askew. His sweaty face was so riddled with pockmarks and wrinkles that to Garrus, the man resembled an obese batarian.

"This rather rotund fellow is Dennis Neuman. He's a high ranking tech working for Cerberus," Kasumi said as Garrus wondered how this man had anything to do with Shepard. "I met up with him four days ago at a café in Tokyo, flirted with him for several hours, bought him a bit too much _nihonshu_ , and-"

"Could we skip with the unimportant details and get to where this ties in with Shepard?" Archangel growled irritably. Kasumi threw him a pout, looking slightly hurt. Garrus knew how the thief liked to embellish her stories a bit, but he didn't care… not at the moment. All he was focused on was bringing Shepard home.

"Fine…," she huffed. "One too many drinks later and he prattled on and on how he worked for this 'secret, pro-human agency'. Another drink and he admitted to being a comm specialist on vacation. Well... as luck has it, my new found friend oversees all surveillance and communications in and out of this station. After 'Specialist' Neuman passed out, I hacked his omni-tool, and this is what I found."

Kasumi brought up more files from her omni-tool and continued, "Unfortunately, these files are heavily encrypted. But I was able to open his email and several correspondences mentioned a 'Project Aleya' and-"

"Aleya? Are you sure?" Admiral Shepard said jumping to her feet. Kasumi nodded slowly. "Did you find out what the project entails?"

"No…" Kasumi started. "But if I recall correctly, in certain mythologies of my people, Aleya refers to a name given to an unexplained strange light phenomena occurring over marshes. They're also known as ghost lights."

"I asked Jacob if it meant anything to him," said Miranda. "All he could offer is that it's an older human name. It means 'highborn' or 'ascent', and there are several variant spellings of the name."

Wrex shifted uncomfortably in his corner and muttered, "Still doesn't tell us much of anything. Probably just a fancy way of saying that Cerberus is once again trying to push humanity beyond the other races."

"Yeah… well… we knew that already," Hannah Shepard said shaking her head irritably.

"This is all well and good, but we're going around in circles, and are no closer to finding Shepard than we were 20 minutes ago," Garrus said impatiently as he scratched at his scarred mandible.

"That's where you're wrong Gar-bear," Kasumi said grinning. He cringed. Shepard had called him that once jokingly, and he had begged her not to do it again… or to tell anyone for that matter.

"Not only did I find the encrypted files pertaining to this Project Aleya. I also found several surveillance vids that were fed directly to dear old Neuman's omni-tool. Shepard's was obviously among them," she said gesturing to the smaller square below her containing said feed. "I hijacked its transmission and as soon as Traynor is finished sifting through garbage data and encoded files, we should have a lock on the Cerberus base."

Garrus nearly dropped his visor that he had removed from his head to clean. His father had been too quick to judge that Cerberus had been one step ahead of them the time. Hell, he was beginning to think the same thing. But there was a reason Shepard had picked these people for her team and remained in good contact with them: they were the best of the best. There was no denying that.

"How long before we get the location?" he asked.

"That's where things get a bit… umm… complicated," Liara said, glancing at Kasumi, who in turn flinched ever so slightly.

"Complicated?" Archangel breathed.

"Garrus, it's going to take some ti-" began Liara, but the turian Primarch rose to his full height, squaring out his shoulders.

"How long?" he repeated, his fury quickly bubbling to the surface and blinding him to everything but finding Shepard. Instinctively, and without noticing he was actually doing it, his hand strayed toward his sidearm. The Shadow Broker saw this as well and her biotics flared to life as he approached her.

"Garrus," Liara warned, but he kept advancing with slow, meticulous steps. Somewhere behind him, drowned out in the thundering of blood, he heard his name, though he ignored it, and drew his weapon, pointing it between the asari's eyes.

He heard the audible 'click' of a heat sink dropping into the firing chamber next to his ear.

"Vakarian, stand down!" Admiral Shepard snarled, pistol to the soft skin under his fringe. Blinking the blood red rage from his eyes, Garrus realized that the situation had escalated far beyond what he had intended. Not only did the Admiral have her pistol directed at his head but Javik's and Miranda's biotics crackled at their fingertips and Wrex held up his shotgun.

"I suggest you holster your sidearm, Primarch," the Admiral hissed. Garrus did as he was told and turned slowly around, his hands submissively in the air. Hannah Shepard had the same wild look in her eyes as Aurora did when she talked Wrex down on Virmire. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Hannah holstered hers as well, crossing her arms and said, in the same stern voice, "I want to find my daughter as much as you do, but we can't be fighting amongst ourselves, we must work together. If you can't keep your emotions in check, Vakarian, I _will_ seize control of the _Normandy_ , and you'll be left finding your own way back to Palaven. Understood?"

Garrus looked down at his feet and nodded. How had it come to this? He felt as if he was losing a grip.

Liara's biotics died and she replied, though rather tersely, "Maybe a week."

Garrus turned on heel at the response, leaving the office and muttering under his breath, "Not good enough."

* * *

Over the course of the next three days, Garrus found himself alone in Shepard's cabin, as retrofitting crew worked around the clock. He thought it best for everyone involved if he isolated himself from the rest of the crew after the events that had transpired in Liara's office, at least for the time being. If Shepard had been there, it would not have happened at all. Hell… if Shepard were with them, they wouldn't be in this mess to begin with.

Garrus knew his emotions were compromised but he'd be damned if he'd let it happen again. Somehow… some way, he needed to work this out if he wanted to acquire some bit of competency back. He also needed to gain favor with the others as well.

By the end of first day, and into the second, Garrus found himself pacing the room over and over, angry and frustrated, fuming about his behavior. It wasn't until the middle of the third day, did he finally decide to do something about it. Finally, after he had resolved he had enough of his own pity party, he broke down and messaged Vega. He asked the Marine if he would spar with him, and good old Vega had obliged, meeting Garrus in the cargo hold not 15 minutes later. When questioned as to why he was still on speaking terms with Garrus, Jimmy shrugged and said, "I wasn't there, Scars, but I can dig what you're going through."

They tossed friendly punches and jabs for the next hour before both of them shed their shirts, tossing them to the side. Vega relaxed his arms to his sides, arched an eyebrow, and said curiously, "I've never seen a turian without their armor before…"

"You need to find yourself a woman Vega," Garrus snickered.

"I'm being serious though. You're… bony… and _flaco_ …," Jimmy said frowning.

"Flaco? My translator didn't pick that one up,"

"Sorry… skinny… It kinda makes me wonder how turians have the best damn military in the galaxy,"

"Please… You really think I'm going to tell a lowly Marine all about the turian military?" Garrus scoffed. "Nope, besides… I could kick your ass from here to eternity with my eyes closed."

"Oh, is that a challenge?" Vega jibed back, a smile returning. Garrus' mandibles flared into a grin as well, "I suppose it is, loser buys drinks when we return to Sol with Shepard."

"Deal!" agreed the Marine, readying his fists.

Unsurprisingly to Garrus and much to Vega's disappointment, Garrus won their little bet and would eagerly look forward to a drink he didn't have to pay for.

Upon returning to the cabin, Garrus undressed himself and made a beeline for the shower. He stood under the steady stream of the shower head, allowing the hot water to seep into the softer portions of his skin and roll off the metallic plates. He made a mental note to keep the physical training up because he could feel how out of shape he really was.

Stepping from the shower and out of the bathroom, Garrus finally felt a calmness wash over him, as he toweled himself dry. Pulling a pair of lounge pants over his spurs, and returning his visor to its normal place on his head, he plopped down in front of Shepard's terminal, and powered it on.

Her desktop screen was a disaster, littered with mission reports dating all the way back from when she left Earth when the Reapers attacked, and ending with one labeled "Cronos Station". In the very bottom right hand corner, however, there was a folder that caught his eye almost immediately. It was marked "Vakarian"

Garrus opened the file, his heart feeling as if it would lurch from his chest at any given moment. Thoughts ran through his head like frenzied skycars as he wrung his hands together in anticipation for the file to load. When it did, he gazed at it, with a stark realization that it was a vid of Shepard.

_She was dressed in full armor, clanking together as she shifted in her chair… The same chair he was sitting in now. Her red hair was tousled and her face was covered in dirt and grime with a dark bruise already forming under her eye. She leaned back in her chair with a weary sigh as she began to speak into the vid, sounding tired and exhausted but with something that hinted at slight relief echoing through her voice._

_"It's 0400 Alliance Standard Time, and we just shut down Cronos Station successfully. Alliance thought it wise to disable it and come back to retrieve the data when this is all over, though… if it were up to me, I would have blown it sky high… Nothing good could ever come of Cerberus. But a win's a win, I suppose," Shepard stood and paced back and forth, seemingly thinking of something to say into the camera. Her N7 armor was dented and pinged and scratched, there was a splotch of blood on her back that Garrus didn't think was hers. She paced around a few more times before coming back toward the screen and placing both her hands on the desk._

_"We're on our way to Earth. It's going to be several hours before we actually reach the Sol System and rendezvous with Hackett and the Crucible… Beyond that… all I see is a bunch of damned Reapers, a whole lot of fighting and even more death… And I don't like it… Never liked going into a mission where I wasn't sure of outcome," she laughed spitefully, rolling her eyes. "Looking at it that way, you would think I was talking about my whole damn military career."_

_A shadow of regret crept across Shepard's face. Her smile turning downwards as she continued, "Cerberus should never have brought me back… I should have been left to rot on Alchera with the rest of the SR-1 crew… Shit like that isn't natural…" She paused for a moment, head sinking between her shoulders, obviously deep in thought. "Through all this bullshit though, I have learned who I can trust… So, I guess one good thing has come from this..."_

_Shepard slunk back into her chair and looked back up at the camera, her features softening as she spoke. A genuine smile, a twinkle in her eyes, even her cheeks turned the slightest shade of red. "Garrus… my dear, sweet Garrus… If you're watching this, then something has happened to me… I may have been killed in action… perhaps I'm in a coma… or the Reapers have finally gained control of me… If that's the case, if I am comprised, then I want you to do me a favor and put a bullet through my head because there's no waking up from something like that…_

_"But whatever has happened… I want you to know… I need you to know…" Tears leaked from her azure eyes, rolling down her cheeks in a steady stream. "You have been the only one who has never doubted me… never turned their back on me. You have been with me from the very beginning… you were my best friend aboard the first Normandy… and after I came back wearing Cerberus colors, you never once questioned my motives… It's always been Shepard and Vakarian, through thick and through thin…_

_"Stay strong, Garrus… There are too few people out there in this mad galaxy with your sort of integrity and honesty… Don't ever falter from that, even if I am gone… Palaven is going to need a leader, and the Normandy is going to need someone to look up to… I know you're that person, Garrus…_

_"I once told Liara that I never thought I would find happiness in the arms of a turian… but to be honest, I don't think I could be happy with anyone else… Ugh… and to be plain and simple… because I sound like a gushing schoolgirl... I love you Garrus… no matter what happens, I will love you, forever and for always…"_

_And with that, Shepard kissed her gloved fingers and placed them to the screen, before switching off the camera._

As the vid ended, Garrus was suddenly aware that he had also placed his hand on the monitor, inadvertently attempting to reach out to Shepard through time and space. He removed his hand and hung his head, whispering to himself, and to the spirits that may or may not have heard him, "Shepard, hang on… We're... I'm coming..."

Several moments later, Garrus was jolted from his thoughts, the _Normandy_ shuddered around him, and the lights flickered and went dead. He attempted to hail Joker on the intercom but that was out as well. Tapping his earpiece, he said, "Joker, what the hell was that?"

An exasperated and panicked voice replied, "I have no clue! The power just took a shit…"

"Was it something the retrofitting crew did?" Garrus said striding to the cabin door. The lock was red; he would be stuck here for the time being until whatever happened was fixed.

"I don't think so because they just ran out of here in a frenzy, yelling and screaming about something unnatural. They're currently huddled by the airlock, waiting for the power to come back on so they can hightail it out of here," Joker said.

The ship groaned again as the lights blinked back on.

"I'm coming down," Garrus said, opening the lock, then the elevator door. Before he knew it, the elevator reached the CIC.

Striding past the galaxy map and into the cockpit, Garrus gazed over Joker's shoulder at the readings he had pulled up on his dash.

"The systems have all returned to normal… But something isn't right… Wait," Joker flicked through a number of holos. "This is strange… According to this, the _Normandy_ 's running at optimal capacity…"

Garrus scratched his mandible questioningly, "And that means?"

Joker leaned on his arm chair, ruffling the hair beneath his cap, "She's running even better than she did after the Alliance retrofitting on Earth… Hell… she might even be better than when Cerberus rebuilt her…"

"How is that possible?"

Joker shook his head, "I have no fucking idea, but it says here-" He was cut short by a small holographic blue sphere appearing on the terminal to their left.

A very familiar voice jolted both of them, leaving their mouths slack and eyes wide in disbelief, "I have upgraded the _Normandy_ 's cyberwarfare suite, tested her firing algorithms and rerouted power for optimal use."

"EDI?!" said Garrus and Joker together.

"I have also took the liberty of speeding through Ms. Goto's stolen files, and have found the location of the Cerberus base you are searching for."

"EDI?!" they repeated.

"Hello Garrus," she replied, laughter in her voice, "Hello Jeff."

Joker was nearly bouncing out of his seat with excitement. It was by some damn miracle that EDI had returned to them unharmed and able to remember who they were.

"So wait…," Garrus interrupted. "What does this mean exactly?"

EDI giggled again, and her orb seemingly winking at him, "I know where Shepard is being held!"

 


	17. A Masquerade Come Calling Out

A week and a half later, Garrus found himself in the Normandy's shuttle bay standing beside the recently repaired Kodiak, dressed fully in his N7 red heavy armor, Geth Assault rifle magnetized to his plated back, his pistol on his hip, and his treasured Black Widow cradled in his arms. He was checking it for the seventh time, making sure the barrel was clear of debris, testing the joints and releases for any hesitation and examining the scope, making slight alterations to the elevation and windage.

He rolled his shoulders, his armor creaking ever so slightly. He had been sparring for three hours with Vega every night over the course of the last week and a half. Four nights in, Garrus had traded his civilian training gear for his much heavier and much stiffer combat attire. At first he felt the strains of the physical training, with every fiber screaming at him to stop. It didn't take long, however, for the muscle memory to come back or his body to adjust.

Aside from the drills, Garrus had also managed to apologize to the entire crew for his behavior. First to Liara, who had welled up with tears and threw her arms around him in gratitude, declaring simply, "I know."

He then had expressed his regret to Hannah, telling her Shepard would not have approved of his actions either, and would have more than likely called him a "dick", which he still didn't understand its meaning. Hannah had chuckled. He had proceeded to explain he would go to the ends of the universe to find Shepard, and that he would have traded places with her in an instant, if he could. Hannah accepted his apology with a warm smile and thanked him for caring so deeply about her daughter.

Finally, Garrus had gathered the nerve to face his father again, like the good turian he wasn't. He had found Tychus down in the drive core, watching Tali with her head in a wire box as EDI's blue orb shimmered on her omintool. Through a series of hushed whispers, both parties resolved their issues quickly, resulting in Tychus grabbing Garrus' forearm, pulling his son close and touching his son's forehead with his own. A familiar and welcomed gesture, and Garrus was relieved to have received it.

Looking up from his rifle, Garrus noticed the last of the crew members were getting off the elevator. He shouldered the Widow and acknowledged them. Taking a quick headcount, he nodded to signal to the others that he was ready.

"Cerberus has been a thorn in our side from the very beginning… To say they are a terrorist organization is putting it lightly…" Garrus strode back and forth amongst the crew as he spoke, meeting each person's gaze, reassuring them… reassuring himself. "We have no idea what happened with the Illusive Man or where he disappeared to, but this particular branch may be even worse than previously predicted.

"We need to infiltrate this base as quickly and as quietly as possible, if we're going to have any hope of saving Shepard," he breathed in. He knew they weren't going to approve of what he was about to say. This was personal, they all wanted in on retrieving Shepard. She was their commander as well. But he had a plan. "We're going to do things a bit differently this time."

Glancing towards his father, Garrus continued, "Cerberus has always been one step ahead of us, so anticipate heavy resistance. They're not going to let go of Shepard easily, especially after the amount of credits and time they have invested in her…"

"That being said…," The whispers began to spread throughout the main part of the group, just the beginning of the protests, but Garrus pressed on, "I'm sending in three extraction teams… of two…" Groans and shouts of disapproval echoed throughout the shuttle bay. Garrus ignored them and raised his voice, "I know you all want to be a part of this, but I would prefer if we do this as stealthily as possible." He shouted over them, as they awkwardly shifting in their places as their dissatisfactions died to a low hum. "You all saw the vids! Expect Shepard to be injured… incapable of walking, or even fighting. We can't have a full on battle with her in such a state, and I won't risk her getting hit needlessly."

He rose up to full heighten and repeated, "Three teams of two. Understood?"

Nearly every last one of them nodded, though not looking at all pleased with this decision; someone would be left behind. But as it stood, they all wanted to bring in Shepard safe, so they complied.

"I want those remaining onboard dressed for battle, weapons readied, and prepared to board in the event things get heated and we need back up. We'll stay in radio communications through the entire extraction.

"I've selected the teams in terms of one biotic and one soldier together, complimenting each other's strengths and weaknesses. Liara, you're with me. Wrex and Javik, you're together. And Miranda and Hannah, you'll make up the third. Alenko and Vega, I want the two of you ready to go at any given moment in the event this ends up in a firefight."

Tali began to protest, "You can't leave me behind, Garrus. Not on this one,"

"You'll be working comms and remote hacking with Traynor and EDI. I need-" began Garrus but Tali didn't let him finish. "No! They can take care of it themselves. I'm not sitting this out!"

"Tali, listen to me." he sighed. He didn't want her to get hurt again, especially after the incident on Omega, and he wasn't sure if she was even fit for battle. The small quarian put her hands on her hips and cocked her helmeted head to the side.

"No!" she shouted as she approached him. "You listen to me! I'm coming on this mission whether you like it or not," she prodded him in the chest with her forefinger repeatedly as she spoke. "I have as much right as you to be a part of this extraction. And you can't remote hack everything… even with new technology. I'm the best there is and besides… Someone's gonna need to blast any enemies with a shotgun if they get past your sniper."

Garrus couldn't help but smile down at her. She was right, she did have every authority to be with them and he wasn't about to deny her that, especially when she was holding her shotgun.

"Fine," he said. "Tali's with me and Liara."

Tali whispered, "Thank you."

Cortez poked his head from the cockpit of the Kodiak, "She's fired up and ready to go. But we're gonna have to do this in two trips. She can't hold seven fully armored soldiers."

"Alright people," he said. "Let's bring Shepard home!"

The Admiral, Vega and Kaidan liften their guns into the air and responded in unison with a loud battle cry, "Oorah!"

Tychus stepped towards his son and said in a quiet voice, "I know we've had our differences, Garrus. But no matter what, you're still my son. Just be careful, alright?"

Garrus nodded his understanding, and with Liara and Tali in tow, clambered into the shuttle as the bay doors opened. Upon leaving the _Normandy_ , they were able to glimpse the Cerberus outpost for the first time.

Taking a look through Kasumi's stolen files, EDI had been able to decipher that this particular station, known to Cerberus as Hyperion Station, was located in the Keplar Verge... the Newton System, to be more precise. They had been to this system barely a year ago to rescue Grace Sato from a communications hub on Ontarom that was being overrun with Cerberus forces. How they had not detected Hyperion Station was beyond anyone's guess, though it was hidden within the rings of Sesmose, the last planet in the system. Perhaps the rings or the gravitational pull of the planet had something to do with not discovering the station. On a good note, Hyperion was a bit smaller than Cronus had been, meaning they would have less ground to cover.

Approaching a service platform near the bottom of the station and pulling on his helmet, Garrus took note that there didn't seem to be much activity. The assault on Cronus had brought out every fighter ship the station could hold, but nothing coming to meet them was slightly disturbing. Garrus didn't voice his concern, not yet anyway.

Jumping from the Kodiak, Garrus and Liara swept the platform for resistance, as Tali took off toward the entrance to hack the lock. Liara signaled when she found nothing, no enemies, no anti-aircraft weapons, not even a single trigger alarm. It took Tali a few minutes to unlock the door carefully, and by the time she stood up to punch the airlock, the other two teams had arrived.

As the service door opened, and all three squads entered the station, Garrus watched as the Kodiak pulled away and the _Normandy_ dropped beneath the station.

"Okay, Joker's parking the ship on a nearby chunk of ice, hidden from view. I'll do a sweep around the station, pick up James and Kaidan, and return here," Cortez said into Garrus' earpiece. "If things start to look hairy, hail me."

"Copy that. With any luck, we'll be in and out of here in no time," Garrus replied as the airlock doors closed shut behind him.

Glancing around, they noticed they were in a cargo bay large enough to house the _Normandy_. Lights ran the length of the ceiling, as well as around the base of the floor.

"Well at least the power's still on," Garrus muttered, removing his helmet.

"Were you not expecting it to be?" Javik murmured, slinking past. Arching a browplate at the prothean, Garrus turned to Tali, "Anything on that terminal?"

"Yeah, it's an information terminal. I pulled a blueprint of the entire station. Uploading it to everyone now. There's not much else here though. Some supply drops, a handful of repair and maintenance schedules. But definitely not anything else worth noting." She switched back to her omni-tool and added, "I am getting some very strange readings though. The dark energy in this system is spiked. More so than any other system I've seen." Looking at Liara, she asked, "Could this be where it's coming from?"

The asari shrugged, "Not sure, but I think we can't worry about that just yet."

"If this is true, we need to make this as fast as possible…," Tali replied, apprehension on the edge of her voice.

"That's the plan," said Garrus, his omni-tool flashing, signaling the upload was complete.

"Any ideas where we should start?" asked Wrex looking at his map.

"This and the next level up are labeled 'LOADING' and "STORAGE'. I think we can eliminate those," Hannah said. "The next five levels include the "MAIN HANGAR', 'CAFETERIA', 'LIVING QUARTERS' and 'DORMS'."

"Unless Shepard's on maid duty, I think we can skip those levels too," Wrex said dryly. Tali snorted at the comment as Hannah and Garrus eyed the krogan disapprovingly. Liara shook her head despondently. Wrex shrugged his shoulders, "What? I thought it was funny…"

Javik rolled his eyes, "Levels eight through 15 are comprised of 'INFIRMARY', 'HOLDING CELLS' and 'LABS'."

"Javik and Wrex, I want you to take the infirmary. Hannah, you and Miranda will start with the holding cells, while me, Liara and Tali start by searching these labs," said Garrus, pointing to floors 13, 14, and 15. "If all else fails, we finalize with these top office floors, but hopefully it won't come to that."

The other teams nodded, wished one another luck and parted into different directions. Heart pounding in his chest and his stomach in knots in anticipation, Garrus motioned for Tali and Liara to follow him to the main elevator.

As the elevator took them to the first level of labs, Liara swallowed so hard that Garrus was able to hear it.

"Did you notice how it's been quiet ever since we arrived here?" she asked in a whisper, eyeing the camera in the ceiling.

"You noticed that too, huh?" said Garrus. Liara nodded and swallowed again, "It's… unsettling."

"I'm half expecting an ambush…," Tali said quietly.

"So am I... Just be on your guard," replied Garrus.

The elevator opened up into a dark lab, causing the small squad to flick on their flashlights to show them the way. The large room was filled with equipment, metal slabs with shackles and a number of consoles. It smelled all wrong… it smelled of blood and death. Garrus shivered against the feeling it left inside him, dark and ominous. Tali moved out ahead of them, searching terminal after terminal for any useful information, reporting back that a number of brutal and gruesome experiments had been conducted here, but nothing on Shepard… yet.

Nearing the end of the room, by a set of stairs leading up, Garrus tapped his earpiece. "Wrex? You guys find anything yet?"

"No, well unless you count the incinerator down here," came the krogan's disgruntled reply. Liara flinched. "What kind of place is this?" she asked.

Garrus shook his head, not wanting to know the answer, "Make your way to the third level of the labs. We just got done searching the first and moving to the second. Hannah? Miranda? Anything?"

Heavy gasping echoed in Garrus' ear. "Admiral?" he repeated.

"Yeah… There's bodies down here… in cells," she said. "Some of them looked to be changed halfway between normal and something grotesque…" Garrus' heart jumped from his chest into his throat.

"Are any of them-" he couldn't finish the question he began. Luckily Hannah quickly replied, "No…"

No sooner had Garrus breathed a sigh, did Miranda say, "Hang on a second. There's something down here…" Her voice trailed off. Liara looked back down at Garrus, halfway up the stairs to the next floor, her eyes wide with apprehension and fear.

There's a human in this cell…" Hannah said quietly.

"There's a turian in the next one," whispered Miranda. "Both female… And both alive… though just barely… but not Shepard."

Garrus closed his eyes, relief washing over him. He gathered his thoughts swiftly and said, "Alright, I want you to take both of them back to the Kodiak, get them on board the _Normandy_ and to Dr. Chakwas. Cortez?"

"Yeah?"

"Hail Chakwas and let her know she's got two patients incoming, in dire need of medical assistance," Garrus said.

"On it,"

"Did you hear that?" Liara said, taking another slow step up the staircase.

"Hear what?" Tali and Garrus said in unison. Garrus strained his ears and heard what Liara was speaking of.

"Was that-?" Tali started, but was interrupted by the noise once more.

"That's definitely gunfire," finished Garrus, taking off up the stairs, behind Liara.

Bursting through the doors at the top of the landing, Garrus immediately spied at least a dozen mechs at the end of the room, pistols out and firing down its length toward an overturned slab.

Time seemed to slow down for him as a figure behind the slab rose from the shadows into the light of the gunfire, red hair blazing as heat sinks fell to the floor in slow, continual motions.

"Shepard?" Garrus whispered breathlessly.


	18. Deceiver

"Ugh, the stench is nearly unbearable …," Miranda Lawson said quietly, entering the first level of the holding cells. "I dread what we'll find down here."

"Not sure I want to know," replied Admiral Shepard, wrinkling her nose.

The floors reminded Hannah more of a prison block on Earth, than holding cells on a Cerberus station. Three levels stacked one on top of the other with stairs and pathways arranged neatly for patrols. Low hung lights swayed gently to and fro from the high ceiling, throwing eerie shadows on everything in the vicinity.

Hannah cast quick, furtive glances around, examining her surroundings and noting any sort of place that could easily hold an ambush waiting to happen. She clenched her Avenger tightly in her hands and was aware of Miranda skirting on the edges of her sight, checking each cell.

"Admiral…," Miranda croaked, her voice breaking as she spoke, pointing toward an iron-barred door. "They're dead… They're all dead…"

Hannah whirled around and clicked on her flashlight. Shining her light down the rows of cells, her eyes widened. There were bodies, mangled, disfigured, twisted bodies in each.

"This is no research facility," the Admiral whispered, knees trembling. "It's a tomb." If this had been any other place or any other mission, she wouldn't have been the least bit shaken from all this. "Oh Aurora, please don't be down here," she whispered to the ghosts still lingering.

"If I had known they were doing this sort of thing," Miranda said, voice quaking. All remaining color had drained from her pale face. "I would have left sooner."

"Surely you had to have had some idea…,"

Miranda shook her dark head, "I… Cerber-… We were trying to raise humanity above all this. Prove to the other races we had an equal place among them." She swore angrily, "It's no wonder they think of us as the lesser species… Always trying to destroy ourselves and others for what? Greed? Money? Power? Damnit!"

"That's not something we can think about at the moment," Hannah said frantically. "We need to search every body… Make sure Aurora's not here…"

Miranda inhaled deeply, nodding her agreement, "You're right. Let's find her and get the hell out of here."

The raven haired ex-Cerberus operative and the desperate and anxious Admiral spent the next 20 minutes combing every nook and cranny for the missing Commander. By the time Garrus Vakarian's voice came over their comms, they were even more distraught than before.

"Wrex? You guys find anything yet?" the turian asked, Hannah unable to read his subharmonics.

"No, well unless you count the incinerator down here," Wrex responded unenthusiastically.

"What kind of place is this?" Hannah heard Liara ask, dread haunting the asari's voice.

"Make your way to the third level of the labs," Garrus ordered irritably. "We just got done searching the first and moving to the second. Hannah? Miranda? Anything?"

Miranda was further down the cell block, still searching. Neither of them said anything at first and Garrus took note. "Admiral?" he asked again.

"Yeah… There's bodies down here… in cells," Hannah finally replied. "Some of them looked to be changed halfway between normal and something grotesque…"

"Are any of them-" the turian was unable to finish his question. Hannah knew how he felt, however. Though her daughter was not among these poor bastards, it still left a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach to think that Aurora could have been anywhere near here.

"No…" she said as reassuringly as possible.

No sooner had Garrus let out a sigh of relief over the comms, did Miranda say, "Hang on a second. There's something down here…"

Hannah took off at a sprint to catch up with her. Miranda stood in front of one of the cells, her finger pointed downwards, shaking.

There's a human in this cell…" Hannah said quietly, her eyes widening at the sight.

"And a turian in the next one. Both female… And both alive… though... just barely…," whispered Miranda, and quickly added, "But not Shepard."

Admiral Shepard heard a pause in Garrus' voice, as if he were attempting to regain his composure, but he quickly recovered and said, "Alright, I want you to take both of them back to the Kodiak, get them on board the _Normandy_ and to Dr. Chakwas. Cortez?"

"Yeah?"

"Hail Chakwas and let her know she's got two patients incoming, in dire need of medical assistance," Garrus instructed.

"On it,"

Both Hannah and Miranda switched off their earpieces when Garrus finished his orders, Hannah still too shocked at the sight that lay before her.

The human female was badly wounded. Severe third degree burns covered a large majority of her left side; some were crudely healed. Various other slashes, cuts, bruises and welts covered the rest of her. Her head had been shaved, for what reason, Hannah wasn't sure, nor did she really want to know. She was clad in a ripped and tattered sleeveless shirt that had just as many holes in it as she did, and from beneath what little clothing the woman wore, Hannah noticed a series of black tattoos running from the base of her skull, all the way down her spine. Scars also ran over the markings as if the tattoos were guidelines to some horrific surgeries.

"Jack…," muttered Miranda.

"Excuse me?" Hannah said, confusion ripping through her.

"Sorry… Am I safe to assume you read up the reports from the Collector base?"

"Yes… Why?"

"Jack… Subject Zero… has similar markings… also a Cerberus test subject," Miranda said, shifting her weight and looking particularly uncomfortable. Hannah nodded her understanding, "Ohh."

Miranda bent low to look at the lock on the door. Unfortunately it was archaic and couldn't be hacked, though Hannah didn't need an omni-tool. Pulling her sidearm from its holster, she aimed it at the door and fired, the lock falling away with ease, and clattering loudly to the ground.

The Admiral entered the cell, kneeling beside the woman on the cold concrete floor. Upon closer examination, Hannah discovered, with a stark realization, that the prisoner was bound hand and foot with thick rope and her eyes were swollen shut. Placing a hand gently on her unburned shoulder, Hannah said in total disbelief and sadness, "My God, what have they done to you?"

Almost as if on cue, the woman began thrashing wildly against her bonds, tearing away from Hannah's touch, her mouth opened in a silent scream.

"It's a wonder she's still alive," came a voice from the next cell. The female turian sat up, slowly, painfully, her back against the wall. Miranda stood up, and blasted the turian's lock away with her own pistol.

"Any idea who she is?" asked Miranda. "Or what sort of shit Cerberus was trying to pull here? Or why-?" She hesitated, "I'm sorry, what did you say your name was?"

The female turian snorted darkly, but the laughter turned into coughing fit, and when she was finally able to speak again, her voice had gone raspy, "The name's Tanaquil… I think…"

Her head drooped shamefully, and she slammed the floor with her fist, "Though… I've forgotten my clan name… There's not much I'm remembering these days..."

"What would they want with a turian?" Miranda questioned. Tanaquil shook her head, "I don't know, but get me the hell out of here and I'll tell you everything I can."

Hannah nodded, and Miranda put Tanaquil's arm around her own neck, and hauled the turian to her feet. The woman in front of Hannah had finally stopped writhing, seemingly having passed out, unconscious. The admiral heaved her over her shoulder. Carrying her wouldn't be too much of a hassle, she was barely skin and bones and compared to a fully armored male, she weighed next to nothing.

* * *

"Shepard?" Garrus whispered breathlessly. The mechs continued to fire rounds in her direction. Somehow, some way, she was donning a full armor set and her shields were thrown up for good measure.

Garrus found his voice and shouted, "Shepard!"

She ducked behind her cover once more and reloaded as the mechs spotted the newcomers and fired their way. Shepard shot a wild eyed and half crazed look in Garrus' direction.

"About time you _fucking_ get here Vakarian," she spat. The tone of her voice immediately sent Garrus into a spiral of confusion. No friendly banter, no sound of relief or even a warm and welcoming smile. Though it could have been the heat of battle and the adrenaline pumping through her that had caused her to warrant such a response.

"Get these bastards off of me!" she screamed.

Liara responded with a large singularity that enveloped the majority of the mech robots, suspending them midair as Tali sent Chikita down the length of the room. Garrus laid down some cover fire with his Widow, taking off at least three heads before the small combat drone reached the enemies. Chikita entered Liara's singularity and exploded with an energy force unlike any Garrus had ever seen. The singularity flickered and died as all the mechs dropped to the floor, unmoving. He looked down at Tali, Widow still in hand. The quarian shrugged, "I upgraded."

Garrus rushed to Shepard's side and knelt down beside her. He checked her over for any injuries as she complained that she was fine and unharmed. Satisfied that she was all in one piece, he placed his hand gently around the back of her neck and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I- I thought I'd lost you," he sighed. "Don't ever do that again."

He then made an attempt to kiss her, but she pulled away from him violently and jumped to her feet.

"What the hell do you think you're doing," she breathed, her voice full of… _was that hate_? Garrus stood as well, distress and bewilderment gripping him. Shepard glared at him with disdain and revulsion, eyes bigger than saucers. It was the look usually only saved for people or situations that disgusted her beyond comprehension, and yet she was giving it to him.

"I- we…," Garrus stammered, at a loss for words. He glanced over his shoulder at Liara and Tali, who were both just as baffled by this as he was.

Shepard wrinkled her nose and eyed him suspiciously once more, before turning on heel and heading back the way they came. Brushing past Liara and Tali, she said, "Let's just get out of this damn place."

As Garrus tapped his earpiece to hail Cortez, he felt his heart sink to the pit of his stomach and shatter, the world around him breaking away. No Shepard without Vakarian was beginning to look like a lie.

* * *

Cyrus Shepard watched every monitor from his small office at the peak of Hyperion Station. He watched as the infiltration team hacked the loading bay doors. He watched as they divided into three small groups. He saw the krogan and the prothean searching the infirmary to no avail. He witnessed his estranged wife and Henry Lawson's daughter locate the two prisoners in their holding cells and extract them. He scrutinized the monitor in which the turian primarch, the quarian and the asari discovered the commander they so desperately craved to see returned to them.

This whole plan had not gone as he had anticipated, and it left an unsettling taste in his mouth.

"This isn't like anything we had discussed," he said into the darkness. A disembodied voice replied soothingly, "This is exactly what we wanted."

Cyrus Shepard thought the tinny voice sounded anything but reassuring.

"Our pawn is in place. Once this unfolds, you and your daughter will share a place amongst us... amongst the stars."

"And you promise she won't come to any harm?" he asked the voice.

It chuckled ominously, "Of course."

Cyrus felt the presence leave him, and he was left alone, stirring anxiously in the blackness, with only his thoughts to appease his doubts.


	19. No Escape from Reality

_She followed a long and dark road through a long and dark tunnel, with no end in sight. The luminescent bulbs had burnt out ages ago, scattering shards of tiny pieces across the ground, the glass cutting sharply into her bare feet. She stumbled over and over crumbled concrete from the tunnel's ceiling. Destroyed vehicles littered nearly every inch of the broken road. Fires crackled in their engines and were her only guide, save for the starlight twinkling quietly above. She was afraid… no… she was terrified… and alone… except for…_

_Disembodied whispers continually plagued her mind, and she found no relief from them as she clapped her hands over her ears and shouted voicelessly at them to stop._

_Glancing down at the rest of her body, she came to the realization that she was naked; the wind that howled through the tunnel, raked her bare skin, and she shivered against the cold as it washed over her like a blanket, threatening to suffocate her._

_Memories of places, people and events whisked through her mind, jumbled and confused. They overlapped one another, and she was unable to decipher where one ended and the next one began._

_All the while the whispers continued their incessant harassment. The loudest ones screaming at her to turn back. But it wasn't these she listened to… She obeyed the more comforting ones… The whispers that told her to stay strong… to fight… to push forward… The ones that told her she was going to make it…_

_And still… the louder ones cried at her… Turn back… There is nothing there for you… You won't find anything… Death awaits you there…_

_But she pushed forward, without even really knowing why…_

_Finally… after what seemed to be an eternity, she saw, with utter relief, a tiny light on the edge of the horizon… She must be almost near the end…_

_Her light at the end of a long and dark tunnel…_

* * *

Dr. Chakwas had been looking over Shepard for the last three hours behind the closed doors of the medbay, presumably checking the status of her implants, skin weaves and overall general health. Liara had entered the room about a half hour ago at Garrus' request, and Admiral Shepard was currently in there as well, overseeing the examination of her daughter.

Every remaining crew member was anxiously waiting outside, uncertainty and trepidation hanging in the air like a thick fog, unable to see where it ended. Whispers of fear and uneasiness travelled through the small crowd and over Garrus' head, as he stood beside Javik, the prothean muttering darkly to himself.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Liara exited the medbay, very noticeably upset over something. Her hands were balled into fists, her biotics crackling around her blue skin.

Garrus' mandibles flared in astonishment; he had never seen Liara so distraught, and it caused the crew, Garrus included, to take half a step backwards.

"Liara? Wha-," he began, but she quickly covered his mouth with her hand. He could feel the static electricity created from her biotics.

"Shh! Not here," she hissed and grabbed him around the wrist, pulling him in the direction of the main battery.

"What is going on Liara?" Garrus protested as she dragged him through the door and punched the lock.

Liara whirled around and came face to face with an extremely confused Garrus and a curious Javik, who had seemingly followed them away from the mess hall.

"Javik?! What in the goddess are you doing?!" she breathed.

"Something is… off… with the Commander…," the prothean replied, crossing his arms. The asari's eyes widened, and she asked, almost relieved, "You it that as well?"

"Yes… I touched her before she was led into the medbay… As you are well aware, I am able to recall experiences through physical contact but what I got from her was… unsettling…," Javik scratched his head, clearly frustrated with his inability to understand the situation. "I couldn't get a read on anything… It was as though she were a blank slate, all of her experiences and personality… who she is… or was… it had all been wiped clean… I do not like this…"

"She wouldn't even let me touch her…," Liara spat angrily. Garrus was startled by this revelation. The two of them had been best friends since their first melding after Shepard had discovered the prothean beacon and rescued Liara. "She shouted at me to leave immediately when I entered and became uncooperative with Chakwas, stamping her feet and huffing and puffing as a child… It wasn't until I said I would go, did she finally settle down."

Garrus shook his head. None of this was making sense. It was as if she was Shepard… but she wasn't… all at the same time…

"Is it possible for her to be a clone?" he asked.

Liara shook her head, "No… If you remember correctly, the only difference between Shepard and her clone were the fingerprints. The clone had to update them in the archives before she locked us all in the iridium vaults… No… The first thing Chakwas did was check her fingerprints against the records we have… They're the same. Though… I almost wish she was a clone, because then we would know what we're dealing with…"

Liara sat down on Garrus' old cot, sighing deeply, as Javik paced back and forth, his hands behind his back. Garrus' heart grew heavy. That Shepard in the medbay was not the same as the one that had pulled him away from the flaming Mako, or that had dragged him to the _Normandy_ under Reaper fire, or the one that had touched his face gently and told him _No matter what happens here, you know I love you. I always will_. This Shepard had eyed him with such disdain and revulsion that it made his blood run cold and his insides churn. It was almost like she had an underlying hatred for him, for aliens…

"Could Cerberus have brainwashed her?" Garrus asked, a thought suddenly occurring to him. Liara frowned and Javik ceased his pacing.

EDI's blue orb appeared on Garrus' console and flickered at them.

"It is definitely possible," she said matter-of-factly.

"How do you figure?" said Javik, watching the AI suspiciously.

"Cerberus was studying Indoctrination and how to use it to their advantages throughout the Reaper War. The Illusive Man wanted to control the Reapers, and to do that he would have needed to reverse engineer their Indoctrination techniques. What makes you think that they didn't get anywhere with their research? And isn't Indoctrination just another form of brainwashing or mind control?"

"She does have a point," Garrus said, leaning against the wall. "Didn't Miranda say she originally wanted to implant Shepard with a mind control chip when she headed the Lazarus Project?"

"Yes, she did, and Chakwas was planning on doing a brain scan. If there is a chip, it'll show up," said Liara. "I'm still not convinced though. This whole ordeal doesn't sit right with me."

"Nor I," Javik muttered.

Garrus' eyes widened at the prothean, as Liara's mouth hung open in disbelief, and EDI blinked incredulously at him.

"What?" glowered Javik at the three of them.

"I-I can't believe you actually agree with me…," Liara stammered, dumbfounded.

Javik shrugged indifferently, "You have been known to have a few good ideas now and then, T'Soni."

The corners of Liara's mouth turned upward into a small smile. Javik returned the smile in his own rare form, baring his teeth. The result was anything but comforting. In fact, it was more frightening than anything, causing Garrus to snort and EDI to say, "May I suggest that you are better at scowling, Javik?"

Javik responded by balling his fists and stomping out of the main battery, muttering threatening words in his native tongue.

"Ugh, I should probably brief Hackett on all of this," Garrus said bitterly. "In the meantime, EDI does Shepard know you're back up and running?"

"No, and I would prefer to keep it that way… At least for now…," she replied.

"Good… And Liara, if anything changes or if there is even the slightest insight into what is going on, then I want to be the first to know. Got it?"

"Sure thing Garrus,"

The Primarch turned on heel to walk from the battery but stopped in his tracks after he had a final thought, "Any clue on the identity of the two we rescued?"

Liara shook her head, looking slightly defeated, "No. The female turian says her name is Tanaquil, but she has no idea what her clan name is. As for the human female, she's in bad shape, Garrus. Cerberus really did a number on her. Chakwas is keeping her sedated for the time being… for her own safety. So we don't know who she is until we return to the Alliance. We don't have access to that sort of data right now…"

Garrus nodded, not completely satisfied, and strode through the door, leaving Liara alone in the battery.

Not ten minutes later, Garrus found himself in the comm room of the _Normandy_ , standing at the QEC, waiting for Traynor to patch him through directly to Hackett. He leaned heavily on the console in front of him, both hands outstretched and his head between his shoulders. He counted each breath he took, slow and deep breaths. His father had taught him this during his C-Sec training… a breathing exercise to help calm his nerves when things became a bit too overwhelming. Garrus snorted, _What a load of crap_. No, the crushing sense of everything seemingly gone awry was much more than what a simple breathing exercise could fix. Had it been physically possible, he might have broken down and wept where he stood. He envied humans in this sense, to just be able to release their emotions through tears.

Perhaps Solana had been right; perhaps he had been spending too much time with humans.

"Vakarian?"

Garrus shook himself from his self-indulged stupor and look up to see Hackett's holo directly in front of him.

"Admiral Hackett," he acknowledged feebly. This wasn't going to be a pleasant experience.

"Did you retrieve the Commander?" the Admiral asked, allowing his eagerness to shine through, however prematurely it may have been.

"We did," Garrus responded hesitantly. "But there is something you should know…"

Hackett's relieved smile quickly turned into a perplexed frown, "Garrus?"

Garrus fought to find the right words, but all he found was the look of hatred and disdain Shepard had shot at him; the way she had pulled away from, disgust on the edge of her voice; how her nose had wrinkled in revulsion when he tried to kiss her. It made him want to spew his insides all over the floor, "We… I… She's not entirely… _right_ …"

"What do you mean, 'She's not right'?" said Hackett, suspicion creeping in.

Once again, Garrus emitted a sigh of frustration, "She's not Shepard…"

"Explain then…," ordered Hackett. For the next quarter of an hour, Garrus detailed how they had discovered the location of the Cerberus station. He described the infiltration, how they split up, how they met barely any resistance at all, how Admiral Shepard and Miranda had discovered and rescued the two female prisoners, and how they had found the Commander, fighting off only a handful of mechs. Garrus then went into detail about Shepard's reactions to not only him, but seemingly the rest of the alien crew. He also explained his and Liara's theories as to what exactly was going on, and that he would follow up when he knew more. This was all said as Hackett listened quietly, without interrupting, a blank and stoic expression upon his face.

Concluding his tale, Garrus was even more dismayed and irritated than he had been before. Reliving it a second time was not something he preferred to do.

"I don't like this one bit…," Hackett whispered. Garrus exhaled a breath of relief, thrilled that the head of the Alliance military was on the same page he was.

"Keep things as normal as possible," Hackett continued. "To retain a steady balance and to not step on any toes until we figure out what the _hell_ is going on, Admiral Shepard is the acting officer aboard that vessel. How long until you return?"

"Three days and we'll be back in the Sol System," said Garrus.

"Good, I'll meet the _Normandy_ at the relay, and we'll sort this whole fiasco out."

Garrus nodded his understanding.

"Oh, and Vakarian? In the meantime, keep your head down and your nose clean. Don't let your personal feelings of the Commander cloud your judgment. We'll get to the bottom of this. Hackett out."

The Admiral's holo disappeared and the QEC grew dark.

The last bit he mentioned, about personal feelings, was going to be easier said than done, especially when it came to Shepard and Vakarian.


	20. Intoxicated Lies

Having spent the first night in a long time on his old cot in the Main Battery, Garrus woke sore, stiff and not at all entirely rested. He swung his bare feet over the edge of the cot, onto the cold, metallic floor, and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, attempting to recall what had transpired the previous night following his call to Hackett.

_Leaving the QEC, and walking through what had served as the War Room during the Reaper War, EDI's orb appeared on Garrus' omni-tool suddenly and without warning, causing the turian primarch to stop dead in his tracks._

_"_ _Hello, Garrus," she said, laughter on the edge of her voice._

_"_ _EDI!" he groaned. "You need to stop doing that."_

_"_ _What? Frightening you and Joker? I am attempting to make myself scarce, and have to find innovative ways to keep myself… occupied."_

_"_ _By scaring me half way to kingdom come?" he asked._

_"_ _Well," EDI began mischievously, "It is better than spying on Javik in the bathrooms…"_

_Garrus flared his mandibles in alarm, and stuttered, "I… uh… I don't particularly want to know... Please spare me the details... Anyways… how did you manage to get into my omni-tool? It requires a highly encrypted password to access it…"_

_EDI responded with a quiet chuckle, "Really, you can thank Tali for that."_

_"_ _So much for national security," Garrus muttered under his breath._

_"_ _She managed to hack yours, hers and Liara's, remotely installing some of my software onto them, just to keep me close at hand… should the occasion call for it… Especially with all this sneaking around." said EDI. "Tali is, after all, very good at what she does."_

_He was inclined to agree with the AI, and nodded, "Alright, just no spying…"_

_"_ _Understood Primarch," she said with a wink of her orb._

_"_ _So what was it you came to me for?"_

_EDI seemingly sighed, "Shepard is back in her cabin. Chakwas has finished her examination, and there doesn't seem to be any sort of physical or mental damage. Her brain scan came back normal... But…"_

_"_ _But she still seems off…," Garrus finished._

_EDI nodded, "I am truly beginning to think Cerberus did indeed brainwash her…"_

_Garrus frowned. The more, he thought about the notion of Shepard being brainwashed or indoctrinated to Cerberus' regime, the more it unsettled him. Shepard had been in close proximity with multiple Reapers and indoctrinated forces, and had resisted their influence. Why would she be so prone to slip under their spell now?_

_"_ _You said she has returned to her cabin?" he asked._

_"_ _Yes…," EDI said slowly. "But on her way up, she crossed paths with Tali and Wrex…"_

_"_ _And?"_

_"_ _She made Tali burst into tears. I don't know exactly what was said but Tali ran down into the drive core, and refuses to come out. And Wrex… well…," EDI paused, attempting to best word what she was about to say. "She told Wrex that curing the genophage was a mistake…"_

_Garrus was aghast, "She said what?!"_

_"_ _Yes… She looked him up and down once, and said 'I must have been out of my mind curing the genophage. I should have taken the Dalatrass's offer to sabotage you're people.' She then proceeded to walk away, without so much as a backwards glance… leaving Wrex entirely beside himself. I've never seen a krogan look as dumbfounded and as speechless as he did when the elevator door shut."_

_Garrus couldn't believe what he was hearing. Shepard had fought for a cure as much as any krogan over the years and to recant it all… well it just wasn't her…_

_"_ _This is ridiculous," he said, exasperated. "I need to speak with her. Got to at least try to knock some sense into that stubborn head of hers."_

_EDI paused before allowing herself to continue, "Just… Just be careful… We are still unsure of what we're up against here, and I can't even begin to imagine how this is affecting you."_

_"_ _I try not to think about that… or it will get the better of me…," Garrus murmured quietly. And with that, EDI disappeared from his omni-tool, leaving Garrus quite alone in the War Room. If he couldn't find a way to fix her, he didn't know what he'd do. Thinking a bit longer on the subject as he strode to the elevator, he came to the conclusion that if they couldn't figure out what was wrong with Shepard, he would spend the remaining years of his life scouring every last inch of the galaxy in an effort to kill and destroy every lingering affiliation and link and tie to Cerberus._

_Before he realized it, the door to the elevator hissed open revealing Shepard's hallway and a red lock on her door, glaring angrily at him. Garrus approached it and hesitated briefly before knocking. He was certain he wasn't going to like what was hidden from view._

_"_ _Coming," came a cheery voice from behind the locked door when Garrus rapped on it softly. He watched as the lock change from a livid red to a more welcoming green, and he almost sighed with relief when it opened to reveal Shepard standing in the doorway, greeting him with a smile._

_His relief was short lived, however, and his world came crashing down around him once more as she saw him and her smile dwindled and faded into a furious scowl._

_"_ _What the hell are you doing up here, Vakarian?" she scathed, her arms folding across her chest._

_"_ _Expecting someone else?" he growled back, his temper beginning to rise._

_"_ _Certainly not you," Shepard snapped back._

_Garrus finally cracked, advancing on her, causing her to take a several steps back, her frown and her fury never faltering under Archangel's glare that would have sent weaker men cowering to their knees._

_He grabbed both her shoulders and shook her ever so slightly, just so he could hopefully convey to her how deeply all this cut._

_"_ _What the hell is wrong with you?" he seethed. At first, Shepard didn't say anything, only glared up at him, hatred in her eyes. Her eyes… they were cold… and dark… and… and empty… devoid of anything except loathing and disgust… They weren't her eyes… The eyes he knew were bright, azure, caring, loving… full of life and emotion… and these... these were anything but…_

_He ceased to shake her, realizing he was contending with a different type of monster, one that he didn't know how to deal with…_

_"_ _Touch me one more time," Shepard breathed, disdain etching through her voice. "Touch me one more time, Vakarian, and I will chuck you out of the airlock faster than the trash disposal. And that's a promise."_

_She pointed to the elevator and said, "Out."_

_Garrus paused, not wanting to believe her. In his hesitation, she picked up a nearby datapad and chucked it at his head, screaming wildly, "OUT!"_

Garrus jerked himself from his stupor, wanting to forget what had happened, wanting to erase it all from his mind, but to no avail. He wouldn't rest until he was satisfied. Finally, he decided the best way to appease his racing thoughts was to give Dr. Chakwas a visit, double check with her, make sure she wasn't overlooking something.

As he exited the Main Battery, Garrus noticed several members of the human crew conglomerated around the dining table in the mess hall, heads bet low over their breakfasts, speaking to one another in hushed voices.

Garrus ignored them and rounded the corner to the medbay. As the door slid open, he spied Chakwas looking over a number of datapads on her medical cart beside the female turian's bed. Without turning to face him or even look up from her work, Chakwas said, "I know why you're here Garrus… and I don't have any more answers for you."

At first he remained silent, observing the room around him. Chakwas' desk was in the same spot it had always been, littered with papers, supplies and more datapads. The left corner bed was empty, but the one across from it held the injured human female. It was the first time Garrus had seen her up close, and it made him cringe to see the extent of her injuries. Getting a better look at her, the first thing Garrus noticed was that she wore different clothes than what she was wearing when she was brought in. The Doctor must have changed her tattered and dirty clothing to a more sterile and clean hospital gown. Her burns were swathed in bandages that took over the majority of her left side. More gauze stuck out from behind her shaved head where Garrus assumed some of the scars and tattoos that Hannah had mentioned were covered. The woman's eyes were still swollen shut, deep purple bruising surrounding them and the rest of her face. But on a good note, she was no longer thrashing and screaming violently. Instead she appeared to be sleeping peacefully, but he knew Chakwas had sedated her heavily. She would occasionally mutter incoherently in her sleep.

"How's she doing?" Garrus asked quietly.

Chakwas finally set down her datapads and turned towards her patient, sighing worryingly, "It's still too early to tell if she'll make it. I can't wake her to ask her who she is out of fear she'll hurt herself, but at the same time, I have no idea who she is and don't have the capacity to run her prints or DNA. Hopefully she'll fight until we can get her into an Alliance hospital. As for this one…," Chakwas turned back to face the female turian. "Tanaquil, this is Garrus Vakarian, the Primarch I was telling you about."

Tanaquil inclined her head in greeting, in the turian fashion. Her plates were a light grey… too light… almost sickly… The clan markings on her face were unknown to him, a dark shade of red. As he returned the greeting she began coughing, a deep, gurgling cough. It sounded as if she was choking on blood. The fit lasted several minutes, with Garrus waiting awkwardly for it to stop.

"I apologize Primarch," she finally wheezed.

Garrus pulled an empty chair beside her bed and sat down, saying, "No worries Tanaquil… How are you?"

Tanaquil glanced down at her hands that were folded over the white bed sheet, shaking her head sadly, "Not so good…"

Garrus eyed Chakwas from the corner of his vision. She was busying herself around her desk, moving slowly... deliberately, wincing at the conversation taking place; whatever was wrong with Tanaquil, it was bad.

"I'm bleeding internally," she said at last. "A ruptured lung... stomach... intestines… also fluid and swelling of the brain… or so Karin says."

"Spirits," whispered Garrus. He couldn't even begin to comprehend how she was still alive.

"No… no, it's alright. While I'm sad with how it came about, I've come to accept it, and am just plain lucky that you're crew rescued me before…," her voice trailed off as she began another coughing fit, this time spraying blue blood into a handkerchief. No matter which way he looked at it, he wasn't prepared with losing someone under his command… again…

"How long does she have?" Garrus asked Chakwas.

"Probably only a few hours…," she replied. "Th- there's nothing else I can do…"

Garrus shifted uneasily in his chair. Though death was just another part of life, and he had witnessed it countless times through his years, even leant his hand in it, it still made him uncomfortable when someone had to die needlessly. Soldiers in war, mercenaries, cops in the line of duty, he understood that sort of death, but when it came to the casualties of civilians, women, children, the elderly, or this… pointless torture, he would never be able to wrap his mind around it.

"Do you want me to stay with you? Until… until it happens?" he asked as gently as he could manage.

Tanaquil nodded, her mandibles flaring into a small, but grateful smile. "Yes… I would like that very much," she said weakly.

"Good," Garrus said softly. "No one deserves to die alone."

They spoke for the rest of the day and continued to do so long into the night. As it turned out Tanaquil didn't remember much before her capture, accept that she was a soldier onboard a turian dreadnought during the war. Cerberus told her when they first captured her that they had rescued her from a shipwreck, that she was the only survivor and they wanted to help. At first they ran evaluations on her, allowing her to think it was for her own good. But not long after, those evaluations turned into tests, which became brutal experiments and finally just outright torture. Cerberus mentioned it was to discover something about dark energy and finding the light within, but as Tanaquil's tale became more absurd, Garrus figured Cerberus was weaving a tale of their own that made no sense to a sane mind.

The human female stirred a number of times throughout the night, muttering and groaning in her medicated sleep. Chakwas stayed close at hand, dosing out painkillers when necessary or when Tanaquil's pain became almost unbearable.

Garrus shared stories of their chase for Saren, of the Collector Base and of the Reaper War. He told her of his time spent with _his_ Shepard, of the woman behind the hero. He voiced his concern to her that the woman they retrieved from the Cerberus station was not the same woman he fell in love with.

Around 4 in the morning, both parties fell quiet and Tanaquil put a comforting hand over Garrus'. Her breathing had become labored, as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

"Thank you Garrus, for staying with me. I wish I could have known your crew longer… they seem like a wonderful group."

Garrus smiled sadly, as her eyes fell shut, and her chest heaved one final time. The machine she was attached to silently went off as her heartbeat dropped, slowed and at last, flat lined.

He stood from his chair, bending close to her ear and said, "May the Spirits guide you back home. Rest easy, for you are not alone."

The human female beside her broke the silence as she murmured uncomfortably in her sleep.


	21. Declaration Embedded Deep Under the Skin

Her eyes snapped open violently, the blinding, sterile lights burning unrelentingly into her skull. It took her another five minutes before she was able to even squint against the lights. Every part of her body cried out in agony at her as she attempted to move, small appendages at first, a toe, a finger, flaring her nostrils. Her head felt heavy, as if she had had a krogan sitting on it for an age, and it throbbed with every beat of her heart. The room she was in, smelled of antiseptics, medicine, gauze... of blood and death. She cringed in disgust... and tried once more to blink away the burning lights... As she lay flat on her back, staring up at a white ceiling, she made an effort to remember who she was and how she got here... wherever _here_ was...

Taking a painful glance around the room, she realized she was quite alone. Several empty beds were lined up against the walls, sheets pulled tight and pillows arranged in neat stacks. Diagonal from her was a desk, also empty, save for a significant amount of supplies littered across its surface. There were windows above the desk, large and picturesque, shades pulled down, obscuring her view as to what lay beyond. A few moments of struggling to determine her predicament, and she dredged up brief flashes of a horrific reality and of her nightmares as they danced across her mind's eye. In one fell swoop, memories came crashing down, smashing into her like a convoy of a thousand Makos, all at once.

In a panic stricken fit, she screamed, her heart racing and her breath quickening, flailing her arms wildly as she thought she might lose a grip on reality once more, and sink back into her own tormented hallucinations.

Thrashing and kicking and screaming did nothing for the situation, except topple over the medical bed she was laying on, sending her careening to the cold, metallic floor. Crashing into the floor knocked the wind from her already weakened lungs, and she coughed, a spray of blood splattering the otherwise immaculate surface.

Shaking and trembling, she managed to push herself into a kneeling position. Looking down the length of her arms, she realized with a shock, both were covered in bandages. Her right forearm was swathed and her entire left arm had been wrapped from shoulder to wrist, with only her hand sticking out of the end. Her hand… it didn't even look much like a hand anymore, instead it was burned nearly to the bone, the flesh darkened and hard. She had no feeling in her left arm as she attempted to clench her hand into a fist… dead weight. Her eyes widened at the horror attached to her, as she stifled yet a second scream of terror. Thank God her right hand appeared somewhat normal, pink, fleshy, and at least a little range of motion before she winced in pain.

She stood up, slowly, her knees quaking as the weight of her body bore down on them. Both her feet were bare also, and with an utter sigh of relief, her feet seemed to be quite average looking, minus several missing toenails.

Putting one foot in front of the other, she took small, careful steps towards the desk. After what felt like an eternity, she crashed into the chair, gulping for air to fill her lungs. Taking a few large and stabilizing breaths, she was able to steady herself enough to rifle through the drawers with her right hand, her left hanging limply over the arm of the chair.

Not moments later, she pulled a small mirror and M-5 Phalanx pistol from deep within the bowels of the desk. Setting the pistol to the side, she held the mirror up in front of her, dreading what she'd see. The reflection looking back at her was far worse than what she had anticipated.

Her face was thin and gaunt. Her light eyes were sunken, encircled in heavy, purple bruises. The left side of her face also covered in burns, while unhealed gashes across her very prominent right cheek bone had been stitched up. She head had been shaved, no hair, only a shadow light stubble grew from her scalp, barely covering long slivers of scars. More bandages had been placed at the base of her neck and ran down the length of her back. _And are those tattoos?_ She craned her neck in the mirror to catch a better look, and sure enough, black tattoos shown under the stubble of hair, around the back of her head, down her neck and disappeared under more dressings of thick, white gauze. She recalled having seen similar markings before… on another Cerberus test subject…

Cerberus… the name spread hatred through her. The terrorist organization had captured her… found her in a wreckage, barely alive… How long ago had it been? Was that where she was now? On a Cerberus ship? The thought unnerved her, and she reached for the pistol, setting the mirror down softly. Taking another glance around the room, there was no indication it was in fact Cerberus she was currently dealing with. Where then? Reapers? No… they were gone… or so she hoped… She couldn't remember if it had been a dream… or a hallucination… or… hell… she couldn't tell if _this_ was real…

**_Reapers… Catalyst… Dark… Indoctrination… Being… Lazarus… Cerberus… Light… Energy…_ **

There were those voices again… further away than she recalled, but still on the fringes of her mind, haunting her… tormenting her… She shook her head in an effort to rid herself of them… and to her surprise, they retreated to a dark recess… still there, but manageable… at least for the time being.

Somewhere behind her, she heard the _swoosh_ of an automatic door opening and closing.

Pistol still in hand, she spun around in the chair and jumped to her feet, nearly making herself sick.

"Damnit!" a kindly looking, older woman, with silvery white hair breathed, half frightened, half concerned, and with both hands in the air defensively. "Put the gun down. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here…," she urged.

Recognizing the older woman almost instantly, she lowered the pistol.

"I'm Dr. Chakwas, and you're not supposed to be out of bed."

"Karin…," she croaked, her voice breaking.

Chakwas nodded, a warm and comforting smile on her lips, "That's right. How are you feeling?"

"I- uh…,"

"Pretty bad I imagine… Considering the state we found you in," Chakwas said, concern still on her soft face. "Do you know who you are?"

"What?" she uttered, confusion ripping through her. What sort of question was that? Of course she knew who she was, Karin should know too.

"Do you know who you are?" Chakwas repeated again, only this time a bit more slowly. "We don't have enough resources right now to run your prints."

"I-I-. You have no idea?" she stammered.

Chakwas shook her white head, "I'm sorry… Should I?"

What the hell was going on?

"No worries, though," the doctor said cheerily. "We're back in Alliance space, and we'll be rendezvousing with Admiral Hackett in just a few moments. We'll get this sorted out soon enough."

"Hackett?"

"Yes. In fact, I believe Commander Shepard is up in the CIC, awaiting him now,"

Her eyes widened in fear, "C-Commander Shepard?"

Chakwas frowned, just ever so slightly, "Of course. This is her ship… The _Normandy_ … You know, you ought to get back into bed before you hurt yourself."

Oh no… no… no… This was not good… not good at all…

She limped toward the door, gun in hand, but Chakwas cut her off.

"I have to get up there, now!" she said.

Chakwas put a hand gently on her left arm and said in an apologetic tone, "I can't allow you to do that."

She raised her gun once more and pointed it reluctantly at the doctor, "Stand aside, Karin. That's an order."

* * *

Garrus paced nervously back and forth in the cockpit, hands behind his back, as Joker and EDI watched him.

"You're gonna wear a hole in my floor if you don't stop doing that…," Joker said, winking at EDI on his console.

"Why didn't Admiral Shepard inform me that we were rendezvousing with Hackett twelve hours sooner than previously expected?" Garrus growled irritably. They had already passed through the relay and into the Sol System before anyone had even informed Garrus they were this close. And now there was an Alliance dreadnought breathing down their necks as Hackett's own ship approached the _Normandy_.

"Probably because her crazy daughter is still onboard, and she doesn't want the Commander chucking anything at her head if she gets upset," Joker chided.

Garrus glowered at the pilot, and said, "I hate being left out like this."

"It's probably become a 'need to know' basis,' Joker said, using his fingers as quotation marks. He had seen Kasumi do that once before… maybe it was just another human gesture he didn't quite understand.

"Come on, Joker," he said. "This is Shepard we're talking about. _I need to know_!"

Joker sighed, looking defeated, "I know, big guy… I know."

Garrus flicked a mandible. He hadn't meant to hurt Joker's feelings. Hell… he hadn't been like this since his days on Omega. His feelings towards Shepard, of loving her, then losing, then finding her again only to realize it wasn't the same woman in her body… It was all finally starting to take a toll on him, and his temper had become a short fuse as of late.

"Joker, I'm sorry…," he said quietly. The flight lieutenant nodded in acceptance of the apology then spun his chair around when he heard a chime.

"Hackett's ship is docked, and he's ready to board." Joker said, business as usual, glancing back down the corridor. Admiral Shepard and the Commander had just left the elevator and were striding around the galaxy map toward them and the airlock. EDI's orb disappeared.

"I told everyone else to stay below decks," said Admiral Shepard. "Hackett will need to debrief us before he can speak with the other crew members. Then we can get Aurora checked out."

"There's nothing wrong with me," the Commander muttered darkly under breath, her eyes rolling. She was in her dress blues, neatly pressed, her hair swept back into a tight knot, and she held her hands on her hips, clearly annoyed.

"We'll let the Alliance doctors make that decision," the Admiral snapped. Garrus whole heartedly agreed with her.

The airlock hissed opened and in stepped Hackett, also in his best dress blues. He was flanked by two armed guards on either side of him, both holding Alliance standard issued M-7 Lancers. Hackett marched right to Admiral Shepard and saluted, the Commander ignoring the military greeting. He nodded at Garrus and Joker before standing at ease.

"Commander," he said, apprehension on his face and in his words. "It's good to see you. We thought we had seen the last of you."

She sneered, and said in a voice dripping with as much fallacy as her smile, "Thank you, _sir_. It's good to be home."

Hackett relaxed just ever so slightly and continued, "We thought those Cerbreus bastards had…,"

Hackett never got to finish what he was going to say about Cerberus. At that very moment several things happened all at once. The look on Shepard's face changed faster than a set of street lights. One moment, she was smiling pleasantly at the Admiral, then before Garrus could even blink, she whipped her sidearm from her holster and fired off three shots in rapid succession. The first and second found their mark in Hackett's details' heads, while the third hit Hackett in the shoulder, knocking him off his feet and dropping him to the floor, clutching at the wound, shock written all over his face.

Shepard then rounded on her mother, gun pointed squarely between her eyes.

"Honey… Aurora… What are you doing?" the Admiral whispered quietly… carefully…

"Shut up bitch. You're not in charge anymore," Shepard snarled. Garrus reached for his pistol at his waist, but he was too slow and Shepard caught him from the corner of her vision.

"Vakarian!" she barked. "Don't even think about it! Slide your pistol over to me, or I take her head off!"

Garrus did as he was told, however reluctantly, lowered his weapon to the floor, and kicked it over to Shepard, saying spitefully, "The real you would have killed herself first than get into bed with Cerberus again."

She picked up the pistol and holstered it, shrugging as she did so, "I am the real me." And as she straightened herself, an audible _click_ of a heat sink dropping into the firing chamber came from Shepard's left side and behind.

"Doesn't your kind ever know when to call it quits?"

Craning his neck to see who had asked that, Garrus saw the woman from the medbay behind Shepard, with a pistol shoved directly into the base of the Commander's skull. The woman appeared to be Death personified. She looked even more emaciated than she did before, her skin clinging tightly to her bones, bandages and dressings coming undone to look like ghostly wrappings. Her hospital gown fell loosely around her thin body to her bony knees. Her left arm hung down at her side and she walked with a noticeable limp, but her hand that held the pistol was unwavering as she straightened herself up, lifting her chin high.

Shepard whirled around to face her adversary. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" she spat, her gun still poised on her mother, as Hackett wheezed sharp breaths at her feet.

The woman's eyes narrowed and a smirk played on her thin, cracked lips. "I'm _fucking_  Commander Aurora Shepard of the Systems Alliance Navy. Tag ID number 5923-AC-2826…," she declared vehemently, her azure colored eyes shining with all the fury of hell. "And I want you to get the hell off my ship."


	22. Lacerated Souls

Pistol still trained on Hannah, the first Shepard snorted, rolling her eyes, "You're fucking insane."

The second Shepard regarded her doppelganger for a moment before she shrugged, and said, "Well… maybe… probably… Now that you mention it…"

Garrus was unsure of what to make of the situation. He never saw this coming… another clone? It was preposterous… and yet… It did explain why Shepard #1 had been acting out of sorts these last few days. But the other woman, the one from the medbay, also claiming to be Shepard… How was she even still alive? Her injuries were so extension, regardless of who she was, she shouldn't have been walking around…

He stood there, in the middle of the CIC dumbfounded, as Admiral Shepard frowned, lowering her arms from her defensive position, and saying, "Wait. What?"

Hackett opened and closed his mouth a number of times, clearly as bewildered and perplexed as the rest of them, while Joker could be seen from the cockpit, attempting to stand on his brittle legs to get a better view of what was going on.

A flash of fear and uncertainty flitted across the first Shepard's face, though, in the next instant it was gone, replaced by a look full of wrath.

"Look at you… No one is going to believe that you're the savior of the _fucking_ galaxy," she hissed violently. "No… you're barely a shadow of Commander Shepard… a shade on Death's doorstep."

Hackett inhaled sharply, still clutching his gunshot wound, streams of bright red blood trickling through his pale fingers.

"Will one of you please just tell us what the hell is going on?" he gasped painfully.

Shepard #2 pressed her pistol harder into her double's skull, angrily, and stated, "Just another Cerberus clone wanting… wishing to be me… Nothing unusual or out of the ordinary here."

"You have no proof…," Shepard #1 said.

"Proof? You all want proof that I'm me? That I'm really who I say I am? Alright…," #2 said, taking her eyes off her target for just an instant and looking towards Garrus.

"Garrus," she said in a soft, tender voice, one that he instantly recognized as belonging to _his_ Shepard. "I know you're doubting me… doubting this whole situation… Hell, I would be too if it hadn't happened once already… But ask me anything… something only the real Commander Shepard would know."

He was taken aback by her statement. Was he really that transparent to her? Of course he was suspicious and distrustful of the events occurring around them at the moment. Who wouldn't be? It could be just another ruse to confound them all and trick them into submission. Admiral Shepard and Hackett were just as unconvinced as he was, especially when it came to dealing with Cerberus. His thoughts lingered for a moment before he looked up and met her eyes.

But there was a sense of familiarity there… comfort… compassion… and something else… something dark, hidden just beyond his grasp, that he couldn't quite explain. But shaking away his reservations for just a moment, Garrus realized in an instant that he was peering at the woman he had fallen in love with, trusting her before he even finished asking, "The inside of our omni-tools match one another… What do they say?"

Shepard's blue eyes twinkled at him, a brief smile creeping across her scarred face as she recalled their private conversation in her quarters, shortly after their shore leave, all those months ago.

"The same thing I said to you in London… 'There's no Shepard without Vakarian…," she whispered.

Garrus felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders as she spoke. He flicked his mandibles at her, relieved that it really was her. And he knew that everything would eventually work out, despite the unusual circumstances they found themselves currently in.

"Well, well, isn't that just sweet…," the clone mocked. "This doesn't change anything though… In fact…" She glanced down at her omni-tool, continuing to chide them, "Reinforcements should be arriving just… about…,"

And at that very moment, the airlock slid open once more, with at least a dozen Alliance soldiers striding through, weapons readied. Garrus felt himself let out a sigh of relief; this would be all over soon enough. His reprieve was short lived, however.

The soldier in front, bearing a lieutenant's insignia glanced around the CIC and acknowledged the clone, "Everything alright, Commander?"

"Get this bitch off of me," she scathed, nodding at Shepard. "Please relieve Mr. Moreau of his station. Lock them and every other crew member in the cargo bay, and should anyone disobey…," she glanced at Garrus, a twisted grin looming upon her darkened features. "Shoot the turian."

Two of the soldiers hauled a protesting Admiral Hackett to his feet.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted at them. "You're Alliance soldiers, for God's sake! You pledged an oath!"

"We never swore anything…," the lieutenant replied flatly.

"That's where you're wrong, Hackett," the double said, laughing ever so slightly. "They're Cerberus troops… sleeper agents, if you will… They've been stationed in the Alliance for nearly a year… since before the war, in fact, waiting... for this… But they answer to me… to Cerberus… We knew this day was coming."

One of the Cerberus troops aimed his rifle at Garrus' temple, signaling him to proceed towards the elevator. Garrus knew he could take this fool out in one swift move, but Shepard shook her head, the look in her eyes telling him not to do anything rash… not yet, at least.

"Oh... Before I forget...," the clone said, almost lazily. "I did want to mention that we had a... Hmm? How should I put this? A bit of help..." She signaled at her lieutenant, who disappeared back through the airlock, to Hackett's ship.

He returned, not more than a minute later, with someone, kicking and screaming, thrown across one of his broad shoulders.

"Let me go, you son of a bitch!" the dark haired, young woman, shouted at him. Tiny hands were balled up into tiny fists, as she pounded her captor's back as hard as she could manage, the lieutenant barely flinching at the blows.

Almost as if on cue, the elevator door slid open once more, and much to Garrus' surprise, Miranda Lawson sprinted toward the lieutenant and his assailant, demanding that he put her down.

"Ori! Are you alright?" Miranda said, kneeling beside her sister. "Did they hurt you?"

Garrus watched as Shepard's eyes widened, burning with rage and treachery. She made a rush for the raven haired woman, but halfway to Lawson, a Cerberus commando grabbed her forcefully around the waist in an effort to hold her back. Shepard winced in pain as he did so, her blood dripping to the floor, a sign that she had torn open at least one of her injuries.

"Miranda!" she barked, hurt and betrayal written all over her visage. "What have you done?"

Lawson turned away from her sister to face Shepard, tears streaming down her face, staining her pale cheeks with black mascara.

"I'm sorry, Shepard… I'm so sorry… What was I supposed to do?" she whispered, hugging Orianna tightly. "They had kidnapped Ori again... I didn't have a choice…"

After everything they had been through, after spending two years bringing Shepard back from the dead to take down the Collectors and sabotage their base, after deserting Cerberus to fight the Reapers together and to killing Henry Lawson, this is how it was going to end? Miranda betrayed one of her closest friends to the enemy she had vowed to leave behind, and there was nothing Garrus or Shepard could do about it.

Distress overwhelmed Shepard as she slumped in defeat against the commando's arm, and it pained Garrus to see her this way.

"You always have a choice, Miranda…," Shepard muttered, head hanging. Miranda looked away, unable to meet Shepard's gaze. She lifted her sister to her feet, and turned to the clone.

"Can we please leave?" she asked desperately. The double nodded, gesturing towards the airlock.

"Miss Lawson," she said as Miranda led the way to the exit. "Cerberus thanks you for your cooperation. It's good to have you back on our side."

The Cerberus operative did not reply, ushering Orianna onto the other ship.

"Miranda…," Shepard said in a deadly whisper, her face devoid of any emotion, feelings masked once more. "If I ever set eyes on you again… I promise… You'll regret the day you brought me back… because I _will_ kill you."

And without a response or a second glance, Miranda turned on heel and followed her sister off the _Normandy_.

* * *

The elevator was more cramped than usual as it moved at an incredibly slow rate of speed down to the cargo bay. It groaned under the combined weight of Shepard, Garrus and their four new found friends: two Cerberus shock troops, a centurion and a guardian by their sides, watching their every move.

Shepard wracked her brain for a way to get out of their current predicament, but every single one she thought up risked at least one casualty, one more than she was willing to suffer. It was already more complicated than she would have preferred, given her present state. Had she been in even remotely decent fighting shape, she and Garrus would have been able to take these four morons out fairly easily. Shepard knew, however, that Garrus would be unwilling to jeopardize any situation that might have the potential to get her hurt, no matter the severity of the circumstances.

And so, she continued to rage to herself in silence, with Garrus remaining quite still in the corner opposite her, arms crossed in front of his chest as he kept an ever watchful eye on her and their captors. How could it have all come down to this? How could Miranda, of all people, betray them? Then again... Orianna's safety had always been Miranda's first priority... even in the face of extreme danger... but there were always more options than the ones given by terrorist organizations; one just needed a little creativity and imagination. Miranda could have at least gone to the Alliance. Hell, she could have gone directly to Hackett himself, asked him for help. If anyone knew the necessity of a need to know basis, it was Hackett. Miranda could have also contacted any number of merc groups out there, had she been willing to spend a pretty credit. She could have hunted down Zaaed Massani into whatever dark underworld he was holed up in, and gained his support. As hard as he came off, he probably would have agreed to help. When it came down to it, the damn bastard had a soft spot for kids.

And the fact that she was still having a difficult time piecing together the rest of her shattered memories certainly didn't help matters very much. They came and went, flitting through her mind like dark smoke through hands, there, but not quite. It was all very aggravating. She didn't care much for being in such a debilitated state.

**_Reapers… Catalyst… Dark… Indoctrination…_ **

In a moment of weakness, when she probably should have kept her mouth shut, her frustration getting the better of her, Shepard hissed at the guard closest to her, "You're all gonna burn for what you've done."

A cacophony of jeering laughs answered her as they looked at one another like she was some half crazed lunatic.

The centurion sauntered over to her, and bent his head low, so he was just inches away from her face. From the corner of her eye, Shepard watched as Garrus shifted, uncrossing his arms and standing up straight, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Archangel was among them.

"When this is all over," the centurion breathed. "You and your friends are going to be mere stains on the wall. Look at you… You're pathetic, you're nothing, you're washed up…"

The tiny elevator cabin was silent. The tension could have been cut with an omni-blade. And all Shepard could do, was laugh, "Spare me your idle threats! You're forgetting one thing…"

"Oh? Please enlighten us with your everlasting wisdom…," he scoffed, flourishing his hands dramatically.

"I'm the real Commander Shepard. _When this is over_ , it will be under _my_ terms, _my_ conditions, and Cerberus will be nothing more than a sour footnote. I will personally see to it that-" she never finished. The Centurion hit her in the ribs so swiftly and so unexpectedly that she was on all fours, gasping for air before she realized what had happened.

Shepard heard Garrus shouting and growling as the three other guards struggled to restrain him against the wall. She watched through bleary eyes to see one of the shock troopers press his pistol into the soft flesh under Garrus' jaw. It wasn't until Shepard gasped, "I'm alright," did he finally stop resisting.

It was a lie however.

**_Being… Lazarus… Cerberus… Light… Energy…_ **

The voices inside her head continued to scream at her, torturing her, and she wanted desperately to claw at her own ears to make them stop.

But she resisted them, as she always managed to do, for Garrus… to keep him from worrying more than he already was. She pushed aside the voices that were not her own, even if just for a moment, because she knew they'd be back.

She stood up, clutching her left side, certain that at least two more ribs were cracked. The centurion pulled his arm back for another blow, but just as he did, the elevator door slid open, revealing the cargo bay.

The four guards roughly pushed Shepard and Garrus from the elevator and disappeared back inside. Another six had secured the hold, armed with heavy Geth Spitfires, while the remaining crew members huddled together behind storage containers. Garrus had thrown Shepard's arm around his shoulder and was already hauling her to Vega's main post.

Shepard winced as he set her down gently against a crate, away from the prying eyes of the Cerberus troops.

"Spirits, Shepard," Garrus said softly, his subharmonics trembling, busying himself by shuffling with her deteriorating bandages. "I- I didn't know… You were… I thought I'd never see you again..."

His voice trailed off as she put her finger to his mouth, making him pause. She found his gaze and gave him a weak smile. Oh how she had missed him! Her darling turian, her rock, her love, her better half… her everything. He had been the last thing she remembered before the Crucible fired, and the first thing she recalled upon waking up in a Cerberus cell. When needles and scalpels, poking and prodding, electricity and torture had become too much for her to bear, it was his face, his voice that shown through the darkness and brought her back from the brink. He was the reason she fought to not lose her mind completely.

Shepard leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes and taking in his familiar, metallic scent. Garrus returned the gesture by cupping her face in his shaking hands. He shook his head, fumbling to find words. Without saying anything, he kissed her fully on the mouth. The kiss took her breath away, something she had longed for in the blackness of her nightmares and hallucinations.

**_Reapers… Catalyst… Dark… Indoctrination…_ **

"As soon as we sort this mess out," Garrus said, pulling away slowly, unable to take his eyes off her. "We're done. Done with the military, with the politics, with war… We'll go someplace tropical and retire."

Shepard laughed, her first genuine laugh in months, and replied, "And live off the royalties?"

Garrus kissed her again, "Yes… from the vids…"

Their moment was cut short when Shepard heard someone yell, "Garrus?" and they were brought back to the present. Garrus stood up to look for who had called his name, but not before saying, "Don't go anywhere."

"Does it look like I could get very far?" Shepard said looking up at him, a hint of amusement still on her voice. He flicked a mandible at her, smiling and said, "Damn, I've missed you..."

"Garrus!" Shepard recognized the voice immediately. Liara rounded the corner, panting slightly. Shepard noticed the blood on the side of her head and face. "What's going on? We were sabotaged! They must have entered through the cargo bay door and came up that way! We… I…,"

Garrus cut her off, "Liara… calm down… Everything will be alright now."

The asari threw her hands wildly into the air, biotic sparks flying everywhere, "How can you say everything be alright, Garrus?! Cerberus has the _Normandy_!"

He shifted slightly to one side with Liara finally catching sight of Shepard, her face still devoid of recognition, "And isn't that the woman from the medbay? I don't think she should be awake… just… just… y- yet…"

Her voice trailed off as her eyes grew larger, the blue draining from her cheeks, and her mouth agape.

"S-Shepard?!" she whispered, bewildered.

"Hi Liara,"

"We… I… never thought… How did you-" Liara said, tripping over every word she uttered like a nervous child.

"It's good to see you too," Shepard replied, chuckling. The asari's eyes glittered with tears and she no longer looked to be a battle hardened information broker, instead, she appeared as the young, innocent archeologist she was when they first rescued her from that dig site on Therum. Liara swiftly knelt down and said, "I'd hug you, but goddess, you look as if you'd break…"

Shepard ran her good hand over the red peach fuzz on top of her head, "Yeah, I suppose I've seen better days…"

Garrus dropped to his knees once more, saying, "We need to get you further away from that elevator and the guards. Knowing you, you've already come up with a plan to get us out of this mess."

She groaned in pain as Garrus and Liara lifted her to her feet.

"Not yet… but I'm working on it."

**_Reapers… Light… Dark… Catalyst… Energy… LIES…_ **

Like awkward contestants in four legged race, they helped Shepard over to where the rest of the crew, her friends, were gathered together. She was greeted with silence and looks of irrelevance, though several members did do a double take upon their approach. It was the same reaction Liara had given; first indifference, followed slowly by sharp intakes of breath, and then finally with overwhelming shouts of joy.

"Shepard!"

"You look like hell,"

"Commander?!"

"Lola!"

"Oh my God!"

These were just a few of the acknowledgments she received, each becoming more colorful than the next, each making her beam more and more, until her face and her ribs hurt from the constant laughing. The voices in her head once again retreated to a dark corner, subsiding until they were tolerable.

 


	23. Shepard of Fire

"First thing's first," Shepard said when asked what their next move would be. Her crew members were still grinning from ear to ear at her return, but, as short lived as it was, the time of joyous reunions was over. The _Normandy_ had been her ship from the very beginning, since Anderson had stepped down and handed the SR-1 over to her.

Garrus had once told her, in the silence of her cabin, he believed that though the SR-1 and the SR-2 were physically two different ships, both still held the same spirit, one that embodied the hardships and adversities her crew had faced throughout the years, one that stood as a symbol of unity and comradery amongst the different races of the galaxy, of loyalty and strength, of friendship and love. She firmly believed it to be true, and she wasn't about to let that go, not to the Reapers, not to Cerberus, and certainly not to a band of crazy mercenaries following an even more fanatical imposter, not then, not now, not ever. This was her ship, and she'd be damned if she was going to let anyone take it so easily.

"First thing's first," she repeated. "If we're going to be doing this, I need something other than a hospital gown and my bare feet to walk around in."

Wrex and Vega snorted with laughter, while Garrus, Chakwas and Admiral Shepard protested.

"Honey, I don't think you ought to be a part of this," Hannah said disapprovingly. Her mother, Hackett and Joker had come down in the elevator, guarded by the same four that had escorted Garrus and herself not ten minutes ago. Shepard rolled her eyes, "Mother… I'm fine."

"No… Shepard," Garrus snapped. "No you're not... You should be in a hospital bed… not traipsing through a hostile ship!"

Shepard glared at him stubbornly, "This is no different than you going through two days hyped up on stims, with no sleep, nothing to eat and running out of ammo, while three of Omega's merc groups attempted to mow you down…,"

"Fine, if you're gonna go there, then this is no different than you telling me that getting revenge on Sidonis was wrong…," Garrus replied with an arched brow plate, crossing his arms in front of him and leaning against a storage crate.

Shepard glowered back, sticking her bottom lip out at him, just ever so slightly. The pair stared one another down for several moments, testing each other's will and fortitude. Chakwas came to kneel beside her, checking over her bandages, and tightening the ones that were dangling loose.

"This has bad idea written all over it," the doctor said, looking over Shepard's limp arm. She remained silent, continuing to stare Garrus down.

"I would like to get off this ship while some of us are still young…," Kaidan said awkwardly, interrupting Shepard's and Garrus' mental argument.

"Some of us aren't so young anymore…," scoffed Javik.

"Garrus, please…," Shepard whispered quietly enough for only him to hear. He sighed, in spite of himself, "There's no convincing you to sit this one out, is there?"

"This is personal," she said, shaking her head. "And it ends today."

He turned away, muttering, what she could only guess were a string of turian curse words. She knew he didn't approve, and maybe she _was_ being a bit hypocritical, but she didn't care. If that clone had her way, she would sabotage the Alliance from the inside out, destroy any relations left with the Council and lead humanity back to square one, alone and hated by the rest of the galaxy. And after the Reapers, that was something humans couldn't afford.

_**You chose wrong, organic… Even after all this time, you cannot comprehend our existence…** _

"Get out of my head," Shepard murmured to the voices speaking to her. Chakwas hesitated in reworking the bandage around her right forearm. Frowning at her, she said, "Commander? Are you alright?"

"What?" Shepard blinked. "Oh yeah… I'm fine…" She didn't realize she had spoken aloud and was startled by the doctor's question.

**_This is where the deceit and the falsehoods begin. Everything you know, everything you have fought for, has been a lie…_ **

One of the voices was more pronounced than any of the others. It was louder than ever before, more terrifying, and more convincing. She wanted to cut it from her head with a melon baller before she lost her mind completely.

"Here, Lola…," Shepard was knocked back to reality as Vega approached her and dropped a pile of clothes in front of her. She unfolded them for a better look and grinned, "You just happen to have a crewman's uniform lying around?"

Vega shrugged, "There were extras in one of the crates. Figured it's got be better than a hospital gown made of paper."

"Thanks, Vega," Shepard replied, glancing around for Garrus. She found him, head bent low, speaking with another turian, one she hadn't noticed until now. She could tell from the fringe length that the second turian was definitely male and quite a bit older. He stood with a slight stoop, his shoulders hunched as if he was carrying a great deal of weight. Garrus turned around, as if aware she was watching him, and met her gaze. The other turian swiveled his head as well, and Shepard was shocked to see he had the same blue facial markings as Garrus. He finished his conversation and with a quick hand gesture, motioned for the elder turian to follow.

"Shepard," Garrus said as he and the other approached. "I want you to meet my father, Captain Tychus Vakarian."

"Actually," Tychus said sternly. "It's _retired_ Captain Vakarian."

"This… I… Uh…," she stammered clumsily, taken by surprise. It took a few moments for Shepard to find words. Garrus bringing along his father was something she certainly did not anticipate, seeing as how Garrus had said his father probably wouldn't like her, being a Spectre and all. She had always pictured the elder turian as a strict father and a "by the book" detective, doing everything he did within the confines of Citadel law. Aboard the _Normandy_ was the last place she would have guessed to finally meet him.

"So you're the great Commander Shepard? The woman for whom my son charged head first into hell? And… at a loss for words I see…," Tychus said, face devoid of an expressions, and his hands clasped behind his back. Garrus flared his mandibles in alarm at his father's statement.

Regaining her composure, Shepard jumped to her wobbling feet and continued, "I apologize sir… I was just hoping to meet you under better circumstances…"

It was several all too serious pauses later before Tychus relaxed and chuckled, "It's alright Commander, I was anxious about meeting you as well."

Shepard let out a silent breath of relief.

"I have always held high expectations for my children," Tychus explained. "And while at first, I'll admit, I didn't approve of Garrus' career choices or him… _fraternizing_ with a human, I can now see why he holds you in such high regard…"

"Thank you, sir," she said modestly.

"You can always tell a measure of a leader by how his… or her followers respond in a crisis. I've learned a great deal about you while aboard this vessel, Shepard. And I've come to the conclusion that I wouldn't want my son to bond with any other. You're a rarity… a beacon of light and hope in the darkness when all other lights have been extinguished. You can't be taught that sort of integrity," And with simple a nod of his head, Tychus turned on heel and headed toward her mother and Hackett, leaving Shepard speechless.

She felt the temperature in her cheeks rising and didn't know whether she should be in awe or embarrassed by their encounter. Garrus snorted at the look on her face, "I think he likes you."

"Well… That went better than I expected…," she said, the corners of her mouth turning upward into a nervous smile. "He seems… nice… Not at all like you've described him…"

"Yeah… well… Don't be fooled, he can still be one tough son of a bitch," Garrus said.

Liara interrupted them with a loud cough and said, "So about this scheme of yours?"

Javik stepped beside the asari, stating dryly, "Because I don't have another 50,000 years to wait around."

Shepard lowered her voice so the six guards by the elevator doors would be unable to hear her proposal, "Alright… I'm gonna need schematics for the _Normandy_ , an omni-tool, some stims, and preferably a very large drink when this is over… I really wish EDI was here too…"

"I am right here, Shepard."

She whipped her head around, thinking the voice had come from her own tortured mind, but when she looked up and saw a small orb on Garrus' omni-tool, she nearly burst into tears.

"I thought you were gone!" Shepard cried aloud, grinning foolishly from ear to ear. EDI's orb flickered at her, "Tali managed to bring my systems back online. She certainly knows her tech."

"Oh this is just perfect!" Shepard said, giggling uncontrollably and throwing her good arm joyously into the air.

"Focus Shepard," Garrus grumbled.

"Oh right," she muttered sheepishly. "Anyone know what a wayward queen attack is?"

Traynor shifted against a crate, uncrossing her arms, brows furrowed, "You mean as in chess?"

Shepard nodded, "That's exactly what I mean."


	24. The Best Laid Plans

Shepard would have let out a blood curdling scream had it not been for the hand clamped down tightly over her mouth. Her broken and lacerated mind immediately assumed the reunion aboard the _Normandy_ had been an illusion... a dark and taunting hallucination. Torture and terrifying medical procedures were fresh in her thoughts, memories stained with red, as ominous voices unleashed threatening whispers in her ears. No bonds or metal clamps held her down, and she thrashed against the hand until a familiar face with friendly wrinkles and a head of white hair materialized above her.

"Sshh," Dr. Chakwas breathed, hand still over Shepard's lips. It took Shepard several moments before her mind was able to comprehend what was transpiring.

She was in the medbay once more, staring at the white colored ceiling. Craning her neck around, she could see the shades on the windows were closed tight, and beyond that, there was an angry voice shouting furiously, ranting, raving, barking mad orders at her soldiers. The inane screaming was followed by a gunshot and an audible thud.

Chakwas and Shepard remained unmoving for the next five minutes, until EDI appeared on the doctor's omni-tool and said quietly, "The clone has returned to the bridge, Shepard. A single armed centurion remains outside this door. Another guarding the elevator and two more in Liara's office."

Shepard rolled over on her side, head hanging off the edge of the medical bed, and her stomach churning.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," she gulped, a wave of nausea washing over her.

"Too much noise. Give me your arm," Chakwas ordered softly. Shepard complied, too nauseous to protest. The doctor plunged something thin, sharp and metallic deep into the crease of her arm, and her veins exploded as if they were on fire. Had it been anyone else prodding her with needles, Shepard would have taken the syringe and stuck them in the eye with it... She hated needles. They always seemed to dredge up unpleasant memories... especially now, more than ever...

Flickers of being bound to a cold, metal slab echoed through her mind as she shuddered in an attempt to keep the nightmares at bay. She could still feel the metal shackles and the leather straps biting sharply into her wrists and ankles as she flailed against them. She could still hear her own screams, as the electricity flowed violently through her weak and broken body... The images and the feelings they conjured would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Perhaps the clone was right... Perhaps she was merely a former shadow of herself. The old Shepard would push the memories aside and move on with the mission.

Off to her left, she could hear Chakwas muttering darkly to herself, "This was asinine, Commander."

Shepard buried the haunting memories and hid behind her soldier's visage, a cold, unfeeling exterior, saved usually only for heart pounding fire fights.

"How else did you expect us to get out of there, Karin?" she grumbled, pushing herself into an upright position. Granted, this hadn't been the smartest idea she had ever concocted.

* * *

_Garrus paced back and forth behind the crates as Shepard and the rest of the crew watched him, waiting for his response._

_"Well?" Shepard asked impatiently, turning over a pistol Tali had pulled from the depths of her suit._

_"Shepard," he said, his voice heavy and reluctant. "This is crazy… I don't think I can agree to this…"_

_"If you have a better idea, I would love to hear it," she whispered angrily to him._

_What she was asking of him was senseless and irrational, and quite possibly, very lethal, and as expected, he wasn't, at all, thrilled with her request._

_"All you have to do," she said, extending the pistol to him with her good arm. "Is take this. I'll stand back, and you fire a concussive shot straight at me. Simple."_

_"And explain to me again, why you want me to try to kill you…" Garrus replied, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. Shepard sighed irritably, time was running short, "Because… this is the only possible way I can think of to get out of this cargo hold and take back the Normandy from the inside. Our comms to the outside are blocked. The damn clone is more than likely feeding the Alliance false information, telling them that everything is status quo. From the outside looking in, it would appear that way. That dreadnought sitting out there is probably none the wiser."_

_"But-" Garrus began before EDI interrupted him. "If I may, someone needs to get to my AI core. They've installed a firewall that I am unfamiliar with, and it needs to be disabled before I can regain control of the ship. Cerberus will have informed the clone of my presence, and she's taken countermeasures to see to it that I don't interfere. This... coup... has been well executed thus far."_

_"It seems as if you admire them, machine," Javik said suspiciously._

_Shepard was inclined to agree with EDI; it was a well implemented strategy, more so than the last clone. Place agents throughout the Alliance in the middle of a war, capture the head of the fleet along with several other chief "kingpins", murder all of them on the most significant warship in the Alliance, overthrow said Alliance, take credit for the massacre and break all association and cooperation with the other races, allowing for Cerberus to gain control of humanity so they could do their bidding unchallenged. Yeah… it was much more thought out than the last one._

_"And what are you planning once you get to her, Shepard?" Hackett asked, standing up, wincing. Chakwas had just applied medigel to his gunshot wound, and it had apparently kicked in._

_"What I should have done to the other one," she said defiantly. "And to Brooks… I'm gonna kill them all. I'm done giving a shit when it comes to Cerberus."_

_Hackett took a moment to glance at Hannah, who in turn hung her head, shaking it. Shepard wasn't going to let go of this, not after what they put her through… not to mention countless others before her. Trying to convince her to do otherwise would be futile. She was hell bent on making this right, once and for all._

_The Admiral turned back toward her and nodded, "We'll await your signal, Commander. Give no quarter and show no mercy."_

_Shepard dipped her head in kind and replied, "Cerberus will pay in blood."_

_She watched as Garrus closed his eyes and sighed in defeat. Turning to him, she said, "I'll be fine."_

_"Now where have I heard that before?" he whispered. "I still think we could find another way…"_

_"EDI has eyes all over the ship. She'll have my back… and so will you, soon enough," she smiled reassuringly at him. He grabbed her good arm and pulled her close. She could feel his hot breath on her face. He was nervous… and had every right to be. Hell, she wasn't too fond of this idea either but…_

_He kissed her hard. It wasn't just a peck, but long and passionate. She could hear his subharmonics trembling, a very deep and very low rumbling. It was meant for her ears only, and told her to be careful and they'd see each other soon._

_Breaking away, he ordered EDI and Chakwas, "Keep her safe." They complied._

_Shepard walked over to stand in front of Vega and took a steadying breath. Satisfied that they were out of view of the Cerberus guards, she said, "This is how it's gonna play out. Garrus will incapacitate me with his concussive shot. Once I'm out and on the floor, I want everyone to panic. Liara, you're to scream and cry for the guards. Tell them I've gone into shock, and that I need to be taken to the medbay for treatment. If they argue, Mom, I want you to get angry, convey to them how upset the clone will be if I die. They ought to agree with that. One, maybe two will escort Chakwas and I to the medbay, where the doc will inject me with something to slow my heart rate even further, and then she'll call for her, show her I'm 'dead'. At which point, the clone should be pissed, and with luck, take out a guard in anger, and retreat to the CIC to formulate a new plan. The moment she leaves the medbay, Chakwas will then counter the drug to bring me around so we can begin the second phase of… Operation Fire Cobra Claw."_

_Wrex snorted with laughter, "Wish Grunt was here to appreciate that." Shepard smirked._

_"I'll be right behind you Commander," Vega said. "Getting hit with a concussive shot is gonna suck, but at least you won't have to hit the floor too hard."_

_"Ready, Garrus?" she asked._

_"No… but let's get this over with,"_

_"On the count of three then," she said. "One… two… THREE!"_

_The last thing she remembered before everything went black was being hit square in the chest with what felt like the force of a thousand krogan charge into battle._

* * *

"Certainly not this way…," Chakwas replied, sticking Shepard aggressively with another syringe, causing her to wince.

"What the hell was that for?!" she growled irritably.

"I just injected you with three different stims, in the hopes that they'll reawaken some of your implants and begin rudimentary repairs. After the clone left, thinking you were dead, I jumped started your heart with atropine, and that second shot was epinephrine to increase your cardiac output," Chakwas said, waving her omni-tool over Shepard's body. "Levels are finally stabilizing… higher than I'd like, but I suppose it's a start. Still… you ought to be in a hospital… recovering."

Swinging her feet over the side of the table, Shepard rolled her neck and her shoulders, though her left one still didn't seem to want to move. She already felt better than she had in ages.

"Had it been anyone else Commander, you'd be dead, if not from the concussive shot, then from all the drugs in your system," Chakwas said.

"Well I'm not…," Shepard replied defiantly, anxious to get moving.

"Shepard, listen to me!" Chakwas exclaimed. "I don't think you fully understand the severity of the situation. Your heart stopped… for several minutes. We very nearly lost you… again!"

She ignored the doctor, and instead fiddled on her omni-tool and earpiece that Garrus had returned to her. She was attempting to pick up a secured, local signal to connect with the team downstairs.

"Aurora Shepard!" Chakwas snapped. "Do you have some sort of death wish?!"

"So what if I do?" she rounded on Karin. "I should have stayed dead over Alchera!"

"Commander, I-"

"Damnit Karin! You saw the reports. They found only my _fucking_ head intact! I was meat and tubes on a slab for two years!"

"I can understand why you're upset…," Chakwas began slowly. Shepard threw her good hand in the air in frustration, "Under-? Understand? You have no fucking idea! What Cerberus did to me was unnatural! It never should have happened! Not to mention the last six months of hell I spent with them!"

She shuddered, screwing up her face to stave off any tears, but they leaked out anyway.

"My own fucking father tortured me for his damn research! I have a mind control chip implanted on my brain… They tried to control me… tried to turn me into one of their… their playthings! And when I resisted? They would cut me… stab me… electocute me… food deprivation… sleep deprivation… sensory overload… humiliation… whatever they fancied at the time, and whatever it took to break me. You name it, they did it! I have voices in my head, screaming at me to stop defying, to stop fighting. So don't you _dare_ tell me you understand, because you have no clue…"

Chakwas' eyes welled up, horror written all over her face.

"I'm sorry Shepard," she whispered. "I'm so so so sorry…"

Shepard shook her head angrily, brushing away the tears, "Let's just get this over with."

Tapping her earpiece once more, she said, "Tali? You there?"

There was a moment's hesitation before an unexpected and sad voice came through, "It's me, Shepard…" It was Garrus. She could tell by his subvocals, even through the earpiece, he had heard everything.

"I take it you heard that?" she said.

"Yeah… We all did," came his reply.

"Damn… Well, I don't need your sympathy…" she started but Garrus interrupted her, "I just wanted to say... We're with you, Aurora. Whatever it takes…"

Shepard closed her eyes; that was exactly what she needed to hear at the moment. Summoning up her remaining courage and determination, she said, "Alright. Let's get started then."


	25. One Equal Temper of Heroic Hearts

The temperature in the AI Core was noticeably cooler than the medbay. In fact, Shepard shuddered against the chill the moment she walked through the door, wrapping her right arm around her waist to keep warm. Still fighting off several tears that dared to trickle down her cheeks, Shepard glanced around the room, in an effort to avoid Chakwas' concerned and scrutinizing gaze. At first, it seemed as if nothing had changed, but upon further examination, Shepard's stomach lurched when she spotted an unmoving humanoid form lying underneath a white sheet where Legion once lay inactive.

A pale taloned hand peeked from beneath the bleached linen. From the silhouette, the body was clearly turian.

"Chakwas? Who is that?" Shepard whispered. She racked her brain, struggling to recall if there had been another turian with whom she ought to be concerned.

The doctor sighed heavily, "Her name was Tanaquil… We found her in the cell next to yours… still conscious…"

"Tanaquil…," murmured Shepard. Another torrent of forgotten memories flooded her mind as she echoed the name once more.

* * *

_Two sentries dragged her back to her dark cell, tossing her violently onto the cold, damp concrete floor. Hands tied together, she scuttled to the furthest corner, as far away from her captors as she could manage. The larger of the two charged after her, hauling her to her feet by the front of her tattered shirt and slamming her back into the wall with an audible "thud"._

_His fetid breath hot upon her face, he seethed, "If the boss didn't find you so damn important to this project, I would kill you where you stand for that little stunt you just pulled."_

_She screwed up her courage and smirked at the guard, "Untie my hands, and I'll show you another neat little trick."_

_"Idle threats," he said. "Tomorrow, you'll be under our control. Then we'll see who has the last laugh."_

_She frowned. She didn't like the sound of that. "Under control? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_

_The guard released his hold on her, allowing her to crumble into a heap at his feet as he stood laughing mercilessly over her. Still sniggering, he turned on heel and walked out of her cell as she shouted after him, demanding answers. Reaching his partner, he whispered something she didn't quite catch, but before she knew what was happening, she was met with a face full of water, freezing in temperature. The pressure was turned up so high, it caused her to slide across the concrete floor, and crash once more into the wall. The water stung and bit at her like dozens of sharp knives across her burned skin. She struggled to cry out in vain, but when she opened her mouth, she was met with nothing but silence._

_The minutes dragged on as the water continued to pound into her, the coldness seeping into her bones. She shuddered violently, tears beginning to flow freely down her bruised face. It wasn't until the two guards tired of their amusement did they finally stop, leaving her alone in the darkness, hugging her knees and sobbing uncontrollably, with only decadent whispers to keep her company._

_An eternity later, and interrupting her despair, a different voice echoed through the shadows, dual toned and hoarse._

_"They don't like it when you talk back to them…," Turian… Female…_

_At first, she only replied with a whimper, struggling against the wet restraints around her wrists as they dug and chafed against her skin._

_"If they had their way, we'd all be dead a hundred times over," the turian said again, inching her way closer to the bars that separated them._

_She could see with what little light there was, that the turian was also bound at the wrists. Her plating was marred with burns, blue blood seeping through opened sores. Her deep purple clan markings were distorted by a large scar running across the front of her face._

_"Who did you say you were?"_

_"I didn't." the turian chuckled. "But since you asked nicely… Tanaquil… My name's Tanaquil…"_

_She snorted darkly, "Wish I could remember my name…"_

_"Eh…," Tanaquil shrugged. "It happens… So… what are you? Soldier? Engineer? Sentinel?"_

_"Soldier… I think… Maybe…"_

_"If you're a soldier then how'd they capture you?"_

_She looked at the turian, eyebrow arched hesitantly, and asked, "You're full of questions, aren't you?"_

_Tanaquil laughed, the sound of her amusement echoed eerily off the concrete walls of their prison, "I haven't had much in the way of stimulating conversation lately… So… Yea… I suppose I am…"_

_A flash of a blue design, gentle grey eyes and a scarred mandible flickered in front of her, and she frowned at the memory, "I think I've worked with a turian before…"_

_"You sure about that?"_

_She frowned, "Gallus? Gaius? Garrus?... No… I don't know…"_

_The turian gazed at her sadly, at a loss to say anything that might be even remotely helpful._

_The pair spoke long into the night, keeping one another company, all but forgetting they were in hell._

_The next day, after the guards returned her to her cell, she couldn't recall their conversation from the previous night and had to be reminded of the turian's name._

* * *

"What a shame…" Shepard said in a low tone. "What could warrant doing this to someone?"

"Did you know her well?" Chakwas asked quietly.

Shepard sighed, closing her eyes against the stinging tears, "She was the closest thing I had to a friend in that cell… No one deserves to die alone…"

"She didn't… Garrus stayed with her until… until it happened," Chakwas said softly.

"Good… I'll be sure she gets a proper burial when this is all over," Shepard nodded, a bit relieved.

"That's been taken care of," said the doctor.

"Already?"

"Yes, Primarch's perogative… Beside's you, of course," Chakwas stated. Shepard frowned at her, "I didn't realize the Primarch had a hand in this…"

Karin arched an eyebrow at the Commander curiously, "You mean… he hasn't told you yet?"

Shepard was growing impatient, "Tell me what?"

"Garrus… he's the new Primarch… or at least has been for the last six months or so…," Karin said in disbelief, rubbing the back of her neck. "He didn't say anything?"

She shook her head despondently, her eyes bigger than saucers. She couldn't believe her ears. Garrus? Primarch? Sure, she had joked with him about the possibility, but he had never been keen on the idea, brushing away the very mention of it, sometimes even avoiding the conversation all together.

One overwhelming revelation after another was beginning to make her head spin, leading her to a dozen other questions. How much more had she actually missed? What else had changed in time she had been gone?

She tapped her earpiece, hailing Garrus, "So… Primarch Vakarian, huh?"

"Yes," was his monotone reply.

"And you failed to mention it, why?"

"I don't know Shepard…," he groaned. By his subharmonics, she could almost see him shrugging his shoulders indifferently. "With more pressing matters at hand, it didn't seem all that important, I guess."

"Garrus! You're the Primarch for crying out loud!"

"We'll talk about it later…," he muttered.

"But Garrus!"

"We'll talk about it later…," he repeated. "Besides… I thought we had a plan to get out of this mess… Or did you forget already?"

Shepard rolled her eyes, "Alright, alright!"

Taking several steps forward put her directly in front of EDI's console. Staring down at it, there were dozens of keys, some with letters and numbers, and others with various symbols she had never seen before. She had no idea where to begin.

"Okay, EDI. What is it that I'm looking at? Because I don't exactly see a big red button I can just push."

Garrus' mirthful snort was clearly audible through her earpiece.

"Laugh it up, Garrus," she chided, though the corners of her mouth played upward, into a small smirk.

"Tali's sending you a hacking program via your omni-tool that should allow you to override the firewall," EDI said, her blue orb materializing next to the console. "Dr. Chakwas has a microdisk that'll you'll need to sync with Tali's program. It should only a few minutes."

"Should?" Shepard said skeptically. " _Should_ is not a word I would prefer to hear right at the moment…"

"The technology we're using to do this is a bit… archaic," said Tali, chiming in. "There's always a chance it could fail."

"Great…," muttered Shepard. "So why are we using it then?"

"Keelah, Shepard! We're using it because they won't be expecting an attack from tech this old," exclaimed Tali, as if it were common knowledge. "And because, if you remember correctly, I'm pretty good at what I do."

"That you are, Tali," Shepard agreed. Her omni-tool beeped, signalling the completion of the hacking protocol transfer.

"Now, you're going to have to slide the disk into my console," EDI directed, but not before Joker could interject. "Can I slide my disk in there too?" he asked, stifling off a fit of laughter, with chortling distinct in the background.

"You should have stayed, Lola," Vega said, joining in the conversation and adding his input. "It's a fucking _fiesta_ down here."

Shepard rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand, annoyed, "Guys! Now's not the time!"

"Sorry Commander," came Joker's sheepish reply. "Just trying to make light of a shitty situation…"

EDI continued, unamused, "There's actually a drive just underneath the monitor. Tali and Legion installed it just before the Rannoch mission last year."

Chakwas handed Shepard a very small disk that she had pulled from the depths of an inside pocket, who in turn, inserted it into the specified drive.

Picking up her limp arm, Shepard set it down onto the console for easier access to her omni-tool, and said, "I miss Legion…"

"There's something else you should know, Shepard…," Tali said quietly.

"If it's about the geth… I already know," Shepard said regretfully, bowing her head. "It was a painful decision… but it had to be done…"

"Shepard?" Garrus started.

"I'll explain later," she said. She wasn't ready to have that particular discussion quite yet. "Okay, Tali's program is running… And… so far, so good. It's already at fifteen percent."

"Good," Tali answered back. "Keep reading off its progress to me."

"Thirty percent. And this will bring down that firewall EDI mentioned?" Shepard questioned. She wanted to be sure. The last thing they needed right now was for this to somehow corrupt EDI and turn her rogue.

"Yes," the quarian said. "In theory… Never actually got a chance to test it before though…"

"And you're just telling us this now?!"

"You worry too much. Just keep reading the percentages," said Tali, oozing confidence she never had before.

Shepard scratched at the bandages at the base of her head, a constant reminder of the hell that she had gone through. Echoing doubts Garrus once had, she said miserably, "I want something to go right… just once… Fifty percent…"

"It will, Shepard," Garrus said to her. He must switched his comms to a more private and secured channel. At the sound of his calm and collected voice, tears began cascading down her cheeks, and she changed her frequency to match his.

"Damnit, Garrus," she cried. "I'm so fucked up… My mind… My memories… I can't do this anymore… I'm so _damn_ tired…"

"Shepard, listen to me very carefully," he said firmly. From the corner of her eye, she could see Chakwas trying very hard not to listen in on their personal exchange, but at this point, she didn't care. "You have to… and you will... It's who you are… and it's one of the many reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place. You just have to push all these doubts aside… just for now… just like old times… We'll deal with them when this is over. Alright?"

She fought back more tears. How the hell did she wind up with someone who continued to show her never ending support, loyalty, compassion?

"Okay," she said, wiping away her qualms and misgivings. "I love you Garrus…"

"I know you do," he replied gently.

And with that, Shepard took a deep, steadying breath to regain her composure and changed her comm channel back, updating Tali in the process, "We're at eighty-five percent."

"Good. Now, when it finishes, you'll have thirty seconds to type in the code that pops up on your omni-tool, into the console command."

"And if I don't do it in thirty seconds?"

"Then we'll just have to restart the override command, that's all," said Tali.

Shepard nodded her understanding and watched as the final percentages began to tick away. The screen in front of her was completely black, save for a blue progress bar.

"Ninety-five… Ninety-six… Ninety-seven… Ninety-" she stopped mid-sentence.

"Everything alright?" Tali asked, a slight hesitation in her voice.

Something else had appeared at the bottom left hand corner the blank screen. A very small and flashing **prgrm{PJCT:/ALEYA}run/** to be more precise. Shepard furrowed her brow, confusion seeping its way into her brain.

"Tali… Is this a file name?" she bent her head close to the monitor to see the tiny font. "Did you forget a step? Project Aleya? What is that?"

"Project Aleya? That's not mine… That's-" Tali began, though Shepard interrupted her almost immediately when a huge white and orange Cerberus logo, materialized on screen, alongside a countdown clock with fifty-nine seconds on it, and counting.

" _Alliance networks acquired. Virus uploading in fifty-seven seconds_ ," said a feminine computer voice that was definitely not EDI's.

"Uh-oh…," Shepard trailed off as she backed away from the console. "I didn't do it!"

"Tali!" EDI warned. "It's not a firewall! It's a Cerberus virus!"

The quarian swore loudly over the comms, "My software must have triggered it…"

"What do I do?"

"Give me a minute, Shepard! Let me think!"

"We don't have a minute!"

" _Virus uploading in thirty seconds_ ,"

EDI interjected, "You're going to have to shut it all down."

Shepard came to an upsetting realization and asked, "But won't that shut you down as well?"

The AI's blue orb blinked at her, "Yes, but we can't worry about that right now. I'm looking at this virus code, and it's set to uplink with the Alliance's network and sabotage it."

"I'm not letting you-"

"Shepard, shut up," EDI snapped so viciously, it made her take another step backwards. "There's a junction box underneath my console. You're going to have to cut the power supply. Unfortunately, you can't just unplug it."

" _Virus uploading in twenty seconds_ ,"

Shepard stooped beneath the monitor, and sure enough, she found a metal box containing dozens of different colored wires.

"Oh this certainly doesn't make things any easier!" she muttered irritably.

" _Virus uploading in fifteen seconds_ ,"

Sifting through at least a hundred wires in a small panel hidden in shadows, was certainly not Shepard's idea of a fun time. Chakwas handed her a scalpel to use as a knife for when she found what she was looking for.

"All you have to do is find the power supply!" Tali panicked.

"Damnit, Tali! I'm a soldier, not an engineer!" she spat back angrily, flustered, and with sweat dripping into her eyes.

"Look for a large black cord. It should be larger than any other wire down there," EDI commanded.

" _Virus uploading in ten seconds_ ,"

"Got it!"

" _Five… Four…_ ,"

"EDI?"

" _Three… Two…_ ,"

"Do it!"

" _O_ -" Shepard cut the cord one-handed, at the very last possible moment, and when the computerized voice faded out, she was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Head on the cold floor, she listened to the _Normandy_ groan under the loss of power. One deck down, the drive core gasped and died with a stubborn whine. The propulsion units sputtered and powered down, and at last, the lights dimmed and finally went out all together, plunging them into darkness.

Outside the medbay, she could hear the Cerberus troops shouting to one another in an attempt to regroup.

"All power is shut down," Tali said through Shepard's earpiece. "Only basic life functions remain."

"Well that could have turned out a lot worse," Shepard whispered, head still lying on the metallic floor, heart racing in her chest. "The plans haven't changed. You ready Garrus?"

"Sure thing," he said. "You alright?"

"Yeah… considering I very nearly sabotaged my own military's network. I think I'll just stay here for a minute."


	26. Once More Unto the Breach

Garrus kept a watchful eye on the readouts from his targeting visor as the final seconds of the countdown clock ticked away over his earpiece. In those several moments of anxiety and dread, as Shepard and Tali and EDI barked at one another in panicked whispers, his and every crew member's hearts beat nearly as one. When he heard Shepard let out a sigh of relief after the feminine voice was a cut short, he let out a breath as well, one he hadn't realized he had been holding.

" _Mierda_ ," muttered Vega heavily. Garrus peered over the tops of the crates they had positioned themselves behind as his visor's night vision ticked on. They had been thrown into complete and utter blackness.

"All power is shut down," Tali whispered, her helmet lights flaring as she spoke. "Only basic life functions remain."

The elevator doors remained tightly sealed as the guards scrambled about in the darkness, tripping over one another and shouting through their comms, seeking orders. They were still oblivious that the _Normandy_ 's crew had a hand in this, though they would figure it out in due time.

"Well that could have turned out a lot worse," Shepard said in his ear. "The plans haven't changed. You ready Garrus?"

"Sure thing," he replied. He still wasn't too keen on the idea of her heading this assault, and she knew it, whether or not he voiced his opinion. "You alright?"

"Yeah…," she said quietly. She sounded exhausted… weak. This had taken a toll on her, even if she refused to admit it. "Considering I very nearly sabotaged my own military's network... I think I'll just stay here for a minute."

"You don't always have to be the hero, Shepard," he said softly. "You can sit this one out if you like." No matter how hard he wished it, there was no way she would stand on the sidelines, least of all, when it was Cerberus they were dealing with.

She snorted sardonically, "Nice try, Garrus… but, not a chance in hell… Just give me a minute... I'll be fine…"

"Okay Shepard...," he sighed, conceding. There was no point in arguing with her, especially when she had her mind set toward vengeance. "See you in a few. Archangel out."

Alenko stepped forward, biotic sparks dancing at his fingertips. Garrus could feel the static discharge in air around the Major. For just a moment, Garrus thought Alenko was going to attempt to pull something foolish, instead the Major approached him, fury written all over his face, reflecting how Garrus felt.

"Let's end these bastards," he said radically, his biotics lighting up the space between them. Garrus stood blinking at the typically rational and level headed Alenko. He had never seen him so vexed... then again, they were dealing with Cerberus. Cerberus alone was enough to get any calm and collected person worked into a frenzy, and so, Garrus nodded his approval. In rapid succession, Javik's green biotics flared to life around his hands, and Liara's raced from her palms, covering her arms and shoulders in a blaze of blue. Wrex moved forward as well, his entire body sparking. A number of omni-tools responded, and Vega and Hannah unleashed their blades.

_No guns…_ , thought Garrus sarcastically. This was going to be… interesting… remarkable if they could pull it off… though if anyone could… it was them. The wounded Admiral Hackett, Joker, Traynor and the remaining engineers who were not trained for this sort of combat, stayed back, taking cover behind the storage units and watching with hope as the battle of the _Normandy_ began.

As a singular unit, the battle hardened crew members of the _Normandy_ charged forward in one fell swoop, their shouts growing louder as they surged headlong into an uneven conflict. They smashed into the Cerberus guards, taking them by surprise.

Tali sent Chatika out first, the guards swatting at the combat drone as it shocked them with electrical pulses. The drone was a simple distraction for the hellfire that was to come.

Liara immediately threw up a biotic shield to protect them all from any potential gunfire. At the same moment, Javik let loose a violent Slam, sweeping two of the six sentries off their feet and into the air. As Liara's shield still holding together, she flung a well timed Warp at them. It exploded as they smashed into the metallic floor. They remained there, still and unmoving, their Geth Spitfires sliding across the surface the hangar, and coming to rest against the wall.

Alenko unleashed a vicious Reave at a third. The power hit its target squarely in the chest almost immediately. The guard shook in agony as the Reave aggressively attacked his nervous system with one intense wave after another. Vega took the opening to release a powerful Carnage at the already disabled guard. Upon collision with the Reave, both powers ignited and detonated with devastating effect. The impact radius caught another Cerberus operative in its wake and exploded, showering Alenko and Vega in a flurry of body parts and fluids.

Garrus set his eyes upon the guard closest to the elevator door and crashed into him. The guard let out an audible _Oof!_ as Garrus struck him under the chin with his hardened crest. He then slammed his elbow into the side of the head. The untrained grunt was no match for a turian masterfully skilled in hand to hand combat. The trooper doubled over, grunting and grasping at his now dented helmet, scrabbling to remove it. Garrus took full advantage and grabbed hold of the Cerberus shoulder plating, hooking his right leg around the soldier's. Just behind the knee, Archangel found the armor's weak point and pulled violently, his spur sliding easily between the cuisse and the greave. As he heard the snapping of bone, he twisted his leg even more, digging the spur further into flesh and marrow, causing his victim to collapse to his knees, howling in pain and begging for mercy. Removing his leg, Garrus stood up tall and straight, as he placed his foot on the guard's head, forcing him the rest of the way down. Foot still in place, he bent over, snatched up the guard's fall pistol, aimed it just below the helmet, at the base of the skull, and fired, spraying himself and the surrounding areas in crimson blood.

The final guard backed himself against the corner of the hangar, scrambling over the bodies of his fallen comrades as Urdnot Wrex charged him. When he realized he had nowhere else to go, he implored and begged the krogan battlemaster to show mercy, to show just a little bit of humility. For a brief moment, Wrex regarded the Cerberus trooper by cocking his head to the side, listening to his desperate pleas and cries for leniency.

"Please… please! Don't do this!" he cried, clasping his hands together as if he were praying to a higher deity. "I can give you information. I can help you!"

"Can you believe this guy?" Wrex snorted, turning his head to look toward Garrus. "He pleads for his life as if a child!"

Javik shook his head, disgusted, and mumbled loud enough for Garrus to hear, "Foolish primitive, resistance is futile…" Then changing his tone to a gleeful shout, the prothean yelled, "TOSS HIM OUT THE AIRLOCK!"

"Forget the airlock," Wrex snarled. "I'll tear him limb from limb!"

"No no no no!" Please!"

"Wrex…," Garrus warned in deep guttural growl.

"Fine," huffed the krogan, disappointed. He reared his head back and brought it crashing into guard's own skull, causing him to crumble into a heap, whimpering pathetically.

Wrex sighed, heaving his shoulders, disgruntled, "Well, that was less than satisfying…"

Without saying so much as a word, and pistol in hand, Garrus swept the battleground in long strides, firing single well placed shots at the remaining Cerberus bodies to be certain they were all dead. Approaching the cowering guard, Archangel aimed his new found pistol and double tapped him without batting an eye; one slug in the chest and another in the forehead in rapid succession. The lifeless body keeled over, frozen in time, still clutching its arms and huddled in a fetal position.

"Everyone okay?" Liara shouted to the hidden crew members. "Was anyone hit?"

Joker was the first to stand, peeking his head over the crates.

"Shit…Yeah," he replied breathlessly. "We're fine… No one got hurt."

Garrus tapped his earpiece and hailed the Commander, "Shepard, we're done here."

As his son awaited Shepard's next orders, Tychus surveyed the _Normandy_ 's lowest deck. From start to finish, the entire fight barely lasted a mere five minutes: short, but effective, judging by the state of the hangar. The ceiling and storage containers were riddled with stray bullet holes. Bodies and gore littered the floor as the combatants slipped and slid through enemy blood to retrieve fallen weapons and ammo. No matter how effective it was, this hadn't been just a fight… No… This was a massacre… a bloodbath at the simplest of levels. And it horrified the elder turian to think his only son had a hand in this.

* * *

Fumbling around in the dark, with only the soft, orange glow of her omni-tool to aid her, Shepard counted the minutes as they dragged on sluggishly. One minute became two, which became three… four… five… before it seemed as if time itself had ceased to exist. The gunfire from the hangar could be heard clearly from her spot in the medbay, thundering and rapid at first, followed by the occasional screaming shout until only silence remained. She waited with bated breath until she heard a familiar flanging voice in her ear.

"Shepard, we're done here," Archangel hailed, sounding breathless and quite furious. "All hostiles terminated."

"Oh, thank God," she exhaled. She'd be lying if she had said she wasn't worried. Hell, ever since Garrus nearly got his face blown off from that rocket, she always worried, and it wasn't necessarily a good thing. She couldn't count the times she had almost been shot because she chose an inopportune moment to cast a sideways glance in his direction to make sure he was unharmed. She knew he was perfectly capable of looking after himself, but still, if anything ever happened to him... She shook the thought from her mind... She couldn't think like that... She wouldn't subjugate herself to contemplating of the possibility of life without him...

"Alright," she continued, pushing away the lingering feeling of dread it had left in her. "The next order of business here is, we need to jump start the _Normandy_. Now I've already repaired the power supply from my end that EDI told me to cut, but-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Tali interrupted. "What do you mean 'jump start the _Normandy_ '?"

"I mean: we need to restore power to the ship," said Shepard impatiently. What else did would she have meant? EDI had gone silent, and the ship wasn't going to restart itself, and the clone certainly wasn't going to be of any help.

"And how do you propose we do that?!" the quarian asked, bewilderment echoing through her voice. Shepard could picture her friend cocking her helmeted head to one side and placing both hands squarely on her hips.

Shepard took a moment to consider this. She had no idea either… She had been hoping Tali would have known what to do… being the quarian engineer that she was…

Joker cleared his throat obnoxiously and let out an exaggerated cough which sounded a lot like, "Biotics".

"What is it, Joker?!" Shepard snapped irritably. Now was not the time to be cracking jokes and feigning hilarity.

"Ohhh," Tali said with quiet realization.

"Joker?!" Shepard asked again forcefully, having no indication as to what her crew was silently conceiving.

"Is four going to be enough though?" Tali said.

"It only took three the last time, and we were planetside…," replied Joker.

"Yea but Jupiter's gravitational pull is two and a half times more than that planet. To make a clean break, we're going to need all the power we can get, and hope it doesn't overload the drive core,"

"That's gonna have to be a risk we're willing to take then," Joker said reluctantly.

Shepard had had enough. She exclaimed, nearly shouting over the comms, "Will the two of you cut it out and tell me what the hell is going on?!"

"I was hoping this could wait," sighed Joker. "When you fired the Crucible, it didn't just take out the Reapers. It disabled any and all ships, comms electronics and AI scattered throughout the galaxy."

"The pulse it generated was like a massive EMP," Tali began. "It slingshotted through the Relays, immobilizing any and all tech in its wake… Including the _Normandy_ …"

"Okay…," Shepard said slowly. She knew it was bound to happen… The Crucible had advised against all this, yet her objective had remained the same: destroy the Reapers… end the damn cycle once and for all. She had had no desire to control the Reapers like the Illusive Man, no matter how much power it would grant her. The thought of her becoming a "Reaper god" was a terrifying notion in itself. And she sure as hell didn't even consider the other option… _Synthesis_ … She wasn't going to rewrite the genetic makeup of every being in the galaxy without their consensus simply to achieve galactic peace… It wasn't the natural order of things. If synthesis was to become an advanced stage in evolution, then so be it, but let it proceed naturally, over time… the way everything else progressed. Annihilating the Reapers had been her goal… _their_ goal from the very beginning. Any other choice would have allowed the Reapers to continue on with their existence, with there always being a chance of someone or something attempting to reactivate and reprogram them, and she would never have let that happen. No matter the cost.

Nothing is written in the stars… Shouldn't every individual, in all of existence be in charge of their own destiny? Not have some sentient nightmare harvest all advanced life every 50,000 years because of some predetermined programming?

On the other hand… didn't destroying the Reapers force her to become like them? Hell bent on the destruction of an advanced machine?

**_You chose wrong, organic…_ **

Joker spoke up once more, jolting her from her bleak thoughts, "Commander… we were stranded on an unknown planet for a month…,"

**_Wrong…_ **

"A month?" she said, attempting to push past the voices that had suddenly begun to echo in her mind once more.

"Keelah, Shepard… It took us that long to figure out how to fix the _Normandy_ and make the repairs… and that was with me being sick…," Tali whispered somberly.

"Sick?" Shepard questioned, frowning. The quarian hadn't been on the ground after the FOB. She had remained on the _Normandy_. She couldn't have been shot.

"Shepard…," Liara interjected darkly over the comm. "The shockwave shut down Tali's suit and all its life functions… She nearly died…"

Shepard whirled around and shot a questioning look at Chakwas. The orange light from her omni-tool cast grim shadows upon the doctor's tired features.

"Is that true?" she whispered quietly.

"Yes, Commander. Unfortunately it is…," Chakwas nodded solemnly. "It took three weeks for the fever to break and get her well enough to sit up in bed. And that was only after the long nights of hallucinations and screaming incoherently… Tali was in bad shape."

Unfortunately, almost losing a friend was minor in comparison to ending the Reapers, a small price to pay in the grander scheme of things.

Damnit! She regretted the thought nearly as soon as it had formed. Garrus' own words raced through her mind, _It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with grey…_ When had her priorities become so muddled, her sense of ethics compromised? Was she really saying it was worth losing her friends over?

These doubts left an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. At the moment, the only thing she was actually certain of was she was losing a grip on reality… losing a grip on herself.

"I'm so sorry…," she whispered to no one in particular as tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, turning her gaze away from Chakwas.

Silence was the only friend that greeted her.

Wiping the tears from her face, she regained her composure and cleared her throat in an attempt to break the uneasiness, "So what do we do now?"

It was Liara who replied first, "Well… when Tali was recuperating in the medbay, she came up with a theory on how to restart the drive core…"

"It was quite brilliant, really," Traynor chimed in.

"It's a bit crazy…," Tali replied sheepishly.

"But it works," Joker responded.

"To put it simply," Tali continued. "We use biotics to charge the Tantalus."

Shepard scowled. She was a bit unclear of the concept, "And how will that work?"

"Because biotic abilities are really just electrical charges being sent through eezo nodules in the body that warp and control the dark energy that surrounds everything in the universe, we're able to manipulate the dark energy contained within the Tantalus to power it up. Then, at the exact moment when the power is sufficiently built up, we hit the reset button, for lack of a better word."

Already guessing the answer, and dreading it, Shepard asked anyway, "So where's this reset button?"

Joker sighed heavily, "That's the kicker isn't it? It's in the cockpit…"

"Of course it is…," Shepard groaned wearily. "Okay Tali… I'm not going to pretend I understand what any of that means, but I suppose you need to get up to engineering to do it… Liara, Javik, Wrex and Kaidan… I want you to go with her, being biotics and all. Do whatever it is she tells you to do. And chances are very good that you'll have some resistance stationed on that deck, so be careful."

"There's a maintenance tube down here that leads to the Port Cargo Area. It might be a tight squeeze for Wrex, but they can go through there," Joker said.

"Did I ever tell you how much I hate crawling around in tin shafts?" Tali retorted grumpily.

"While they take care of the engineering level, Mom, Garrus, James and Cortez… You're gonna have to find a way up to me…," Shepard ordered. "With no power to the elevator though, it may prove to be a bit… problematic…"

"Shouldn't be too difficult, Lola," Vega stated. "We can pry open the doors easily enough and there's a ladder in the elevator shaft that we can climb up."

"Im coming too," Tychus Vakarian announced. "You need all the help you can get."

"Great!" exclaimed Shepard. "Joker? Traynor? Keep Hackett and the engineers safe until we pull this off… And while I'm waiting, I'll deal with the Cerberus assholes on this level."

"Catch you on the flip side," said Joker.

"Shepard out," she said, tapping her earpiece and glancing down at her omni-tool.

Chakwas arched an eyebrow, "You sure you're up for this Commander?"

She nodded, averting her eyes from the doctor's concerned gaze. With a flick of her wrist, Shepard's omni-tool lit up once more, and her omni-blade unsheathed itself, searing heat emanating from it. It was the same blade that dealt the final blow to Lieutenant Bastard Kai Leng. It would be this blade that would severe the remaining Cerberus' heads: the guards, her clone, and eventually her own father. She would watch with great pleasure as they fell to the ground and rolled away…

"All I need you to do Karin, is open this door and stay the hell out of my way."


	27. Out of Weakness and Meloncholy

Sliding through the blood stained remains of the Cerberus detail, the _Normandy_ 's crew went about fulfilling their orders. Joker showed Tali, Liara, Javik, Kaidan and Wrex the maintenance shaft they were to take up to engineering deck. Hackett hung back, behind the storage units, grunting in pain as Traynor kept a gentle but forceful hand on his shoulder to keep him still. Vega and Tychus were presently attempting to pry open the elevator doors with a very large and a very heavy crowbar Cortez had found among the remains of the dismantled Kodiak.

Garrus paced back and forth between the doors and Cortez's work bench, wringing his hands together anxiously. He was quickly becoming all too agitated with being confined to the hangar and their lack of progress. By now, he had expected more results than simply killing the power and disabling their AI.

At the moment, Garrus wasn't too keen on their odds. A dead ship, Cerberus enemies and a Commander who was possibly closer to death than she cared to admit. Sure, the stims and the drugs Chakwas had administered were doing a fine job at keeping Shepard up and moving, but how long until they finally wore off? It was possible she could keel over at any moment, the stress on her weakened system simply too much to bear. He wanted to believe more than anything, that she could keep hauling ass, like she always did, but right now, he just wasn't too sure… and he hated the uncertainty.

Their current situation opened a floodgate of memories long since repressed for him, ones he preferred not to revisit.

* * *

_Perched atop his balcony, Archangel surveyed the devastation below him through the scope of his sniper rifle. He had been in the same position for two day… or was it three? He couldn't remember, and his judgment was beginning to cloud. The stims were starting to falter, and he was running low on rations and water. He couldn't even remember the last time he had slept._

_Mercs fell left and right with every squeeze of his trigger, but where one fell, two more would take position across the bridge. Right now, it was nothing he couldn't handle, but if the situation he found himself in continued to progress, he would soon be overrun… unable to hold off against three merc groups hell-bent on killing him. The bodies of his companions littered the floors of the hideout, their bodily fluids mixing together like some sort of grotesque rainbow of colors._

_He heard a blood coated wheeze come from his right. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, he could still see the large form of Butler, leaning against the half wall of the balcony, body hurling and lurching as he coughed violently, spewing crimson blood from his mouth. Archangel hadn't realized the man was still alive, let alone still conscience._

_"Hang in there Butler! It's almost over!" Archangel shouted over the rapid gunfire of the mercs' weapons. Breath rattling, the human slowly turned his blond head toward Garrus. His face was pale and guant, his voice cracking and breaking as he spoke, "L-Look at me, Archangel… Y-You know perfectly well t-that I'm not going… going to make it…"_

_Butler groaned once more, clutching his abdomen, blood spilling into his shaking hands. Archangel stood up once more to pick off four more mercs as fast as he could reload, before he took cover behind his makeshift barricade._

_"T-Tell my wife… Tell Nalah… I love her…," Butler panted, his breaths shortening as he struggled to sit up more._

_"Don't talk like that! We're going to make it out of here! Just you wait!" Archangel growled, tossing the man one of his last stims. He wasn't about to lose the last member of his squad._

_"Ehh… D-Don't worry about... me… I'll be…," Butler's voice trailed off as his body heaved with one final breath, his head lolling to the side. Archangel didn't need to look at his visor's readouts to know Butler was dead, out of habit he checked the stats anyways. The man remained still… unmoving… leaving Garrus quite alone… and regretful._

_Archangel jumped to his feet and unleashed a volley of bullets into the mercs, crying out furiously in vengeance. Sidonis would pay for his betrayal in blood. The glint of Archangel's scope and a bullet hurtling toward him would be the last thing he would see, understanding that Garrus was the one who pulled the trigger would be the last thing he ever knew._

_Ducking down below his barrier, Garrus closed his eyes and rested his pounding head against the cold metal of the blockade._

_"Damnit," he whispered, his voice drowned out by the sound of gunfire. Summoning up enough courage and swallowing some of his pride, he made what would probably be his last call, punching the code into his omni-tool as he pulled his helmet over his head._

_After what seemed like an infinite number of rings, Garrus was relieved when he heard the sound of his father's voice answer him through his earpiece._

_"Hello?" Tychus said calmly, unaware of the situation his son had gotten himself into._

_Garrus choked back the lump in his throat and replied, "Dad…"_

_"Garrus? Is that you?" his father questioned, concerned. "What's that noise?"_

_Archangel laughed derisively, "Just a little target practice."_

_Nothing should come between a turian and his rifle, not even family. Garrus could almost see the disapproving scowl as Tychus responded with annoyance, "Then call me back later."_

_"I… I don't think I'll be able to do that," Archangel said furtively, not wanting to give away the gravity of the mess he had created._

_"Oh…," Tychus answered, understanding seeping through his subvocals. "_ _I see…"_

_Garrus blind fired several more shots over top his improvised cover, the gunfire reverberating in his ears._ _"I just wanted to hear your voice…," he said. "Wanted to see how retirement was treating you. You good?"_

_"I'm fine. Forget about that,"_

_The merc body count continued to rise on the bridge, but so did the number of guns gathering at the entrance. They would soon breach, and there was nothing that would stop them from getting to him._

_"Listen," Garrus began solemnly. "I don't have a lot of time… I-I wanted to say… You were right... about things… A lot more than I gave you credit for… And... I'm sorry we butted heads so much."_

_Tychus' tone changed from C-SEC detective to that of an overly concerned father almost instantly, "I said, forget about that… These targets you're practicing on… They're moving fast?"_

_A Blue Sun foolishly poke his head out from behind his cover, and Garrus dropped him where he stood._

_"So far, not fast enough… but they're learning,"_

_"How are you on thermal clips?"_

_Garrus reloaded once more, counting maybe half a dozen clips scattered around him, and shrugged, "You know how it is… Could always use a couple more."_

_He could hear his father sigh in his ear. Tychus knew instinctively things were getting bad for his son, but kept his voice level and calm. Garrus was grateful for it._

_"Work with what you got then. You don't stop pulling that trigger until it clicks, son," Tychus instructed. It was just as if Garrus was twenty years younger, and his father was instructing him on how to use a military grade sniper rifle during "real" target practice. "No matter how bad things are falling apart around you, as long as you have at least one bullet left, you can still get the job done. Understand?"_

_His heart jumped into his throat, catching his voice; a flash of red had just appeared in his sights. Garrus pulled away from his scope and blinked tentatively. For a moment, he thought he was losing his mind and beginning to hallucinate from the lack of sleep, but when he peered back through the scope and recognized the woman with with fiery red, short cropped hair, he nearly let out a loud whoop of joy._

_"You finish up what you have to do there, and then you come on home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out," Tychus continued in Garrus' earpiece._

_How was this even possible? She had been KIA; Anderson had confirmed it. He had to check again, to make sure he wasn't just dreaming. The woman with the red hair stepped boldly across the bridge, confident she wouldn't be shot. A newly painted N7 was inscribed upon her chestplate, her armor still glossy, barely war-torn and pitted. And while she looked to be the same person he thought he had lost two years ago, she appeared to have aged backwards several years, her eyes wide and the bluest color he had ever seen. Her face also seemed fresher somehow, save for the eerie glowing scars alongside her cheek. Simply by the way she held herself, Garrus knew for certain that the woman he was staring at was Shepard, though he didn't recognize the raven haired woman, nor the heavily scarred man with the yellow armor and the two different colored eyes._

_Firing a Concussive Round at her to keep up appearances, he finally responded to his father, relief flooding his subharmonics, "Yeah, we do. Thanks, Dad… for everything." Cutting Tychus off before he could demand an explanation, Garrus continued, his mandibles flared into a wide smile, hidden by his helmet, "I have to go now. Don't worry about me… I'll make it home when I can… The odds just got a lot better…"_

* * *

Bringing a hand to his scarred mandible, Garrus let out a low breath. Some how, some way, and with a stroke of luck, they had made it off Omega and lived to tell about it. Now that he really thought about it, they had survived numerous ecounters in which any other _normal_ team would have been slaughtered: Virmire, Noveria, Ilos, Reaper Saren, the Collector Base, the battle at the Shroud on Tuchanka, Rannoch, even the battle for Earth. Millions, perhaps billions had died for their cause, for Shepard's cause, and yet, their small dysfunctional band of soldiers, biotics, mercs and aliens was still alive.

This certainly wasn't the worst set of circumstances they had found themselves in over the years; perhaps they _would_ find a way to make it through this one as well…

Vega called out to Garrus, interrupting his thoughts, "Ready?"

The elevator doors had been opened, the typically glowing light on the lock, all but dark. Just as he looked up into the shaft and was met with blackness, the gunfire and shouting began.

"Sounds like it's coming from the crew deck…," Hannah said.

Holstering his pistol and slapping a Geth Spitfire to the back of his armor, Garrus clambered into the chute and caught the ladder. The others filed in as he began his ascent to the third level of the ship.

* * *

The moment Chakwas opened the door using a medical tray as leverage, Shepard barreled out, omni-blade raised.

The Cerberus guard at the medbay's entrance didn't stand a chance. He didn't even have a moment to whirl around as Shepard drew back her arm, with as much force as she could muster, and drove the blade deep into the back of his neck, underneath his helmet and above the collar of his armor. He dropped to the floor with a muffled _thud_ , unmoving, his spinal cord severed before he hit the ground.

Shepard swiped up the guard's pistol from its holster, an M-358 Talon, not her favorite, but it was better than nothing. Pocketing spare thermal clips, she limped around to the elevator doors, through the pitch blackness, with only the light of her omni-blade to guide her.

The second guard stood in front of the doors, unaware of her prescence at first, fiddling with his own omni-tool.

"What's that?" he said into his comms, presumably speaking with the clone. "All's clear on this level…Haven't heard a peep from the medbay… Will do ma'am, Bravo out."

She paused until he was finished, before she charged him. He let out a brief howl as she jumped on him, driving the blade into his chest once… twice… three times. He fell to his knees, and Shepard slit his throat for good measure. Blood leaked onto her clothing, blooming across the front of her recently procured shirt. Panting and ignoring the stain, she scooped up his loose clips, took his pistol too, as a replacement, and jammed it into her belt. Using the wall as cover, she waited.

Two down, two to go.

**_You like this… don't you?_ **

_Shut up!_ She screamed silently at the voices beginning to take shape in her mind.

**_The rage… the bloodlust…_** , they echoed, growing in strength.

She attempted to disregard them.

**_You crave the vengeance… It's a thrill for you… isn't it?_ **

If it hadn't been for a loud clanging in the old XO's room to shake her back to reality, Shepard may have slumped to the floor, unable to stop herself from sinking into a fit of madness and despair.

The voices coming from Liara's office were full of anger. A number of times, different things could be heard crashing to the floor as the guards inside fumbled about and more than likely knocked into the asari's monitors and computers. Liara would be furious. The minutes ticked by as they continued to shout at one another and collide with the Shadow Broker's equipment.

The bastards could be heard clambering about to force it open. They finally made their way to the exit as Shepard caught a glimpse of a flashlight through a crack in the door. As it slid ajar, she open fired.

The two guards quickly took cover on either side of the doorway, scrambling for their weapons.

"I told you assholes that you would all burn for this!" she shouted at them, popping an expired heat sink from the chamber and reloading. "And I keep good on my promises!"

Bullets flew past her head as they unloaded a volley at her with their modified automatic M-96 Mattocks. She blind fired her pistol off from around cover. This position wasn't going to work for very long. She couldn't get a decent shot off with her right arm. Things would be much easier if her left side wasn't completely immobile.

Sliding around the far outer wall of the elevator shaft and coming at them from a different position, Shepard hauled over one of the mess hall tables, using it as a makeshift barrier. At this angle, she was able to fire freely with her good hand at the expense of only seeing one of the guards.

She waited until they had to reload their own weapons. Standing up and aiming at medium range, she blasted off her entire clip in rapid succession. Several bullets hit the surrounding walls, the doorframe, and one may have lodged itself in Glyph's console, causing the small terminal to shower sparks down onto the Cerberus guard. He batted away the electrical embers, distracting him for the briefest of moments, allowing Shepard to take careful aim and squeeze the trigger. The final shot found its home deep within the back wall. The slug entered through the guard's helmet, between the eye slits and exited at the back center of his head before his entire skull exploded in a deluge of blood and brains, his body slumping to the floor. She heard the second Cerberus sentry shout as his friend died.

**_Admit it… you find this satisfying… you're no different from them… or the Reapers…_ **

Shepard cried once more, this time verbally, the shriek ripping and tearing through her vocal cords. Frustration, anger, and yes… perhaps even a bit of bloodlust, clouded her vision as she stood from her cover and marched towards the opened door, gun in hand, poised and ready. All she saw was red.

She fired shots one right after the other, a continual volley of hatred and vexation, until her thermal clip was spent, roaring at the guard, at the voices in her head, cursing Cerberus and the Reapers and her own tortured and exhausted mind. The rounds hit the wall, the doorframe, the dead body, and finally, the last guard.

Clutching at his throat, he keeled over, gasping and wheezing to bring air into his lungs. Shepard kicked his hand away and thrusted her blade into his neck, allowing the blood to drain onto the metallic ground. A deep, haunting gurgle bubbled up from his throat and mouth until, at last, he expired.

**_Your body count continues to rise, Shepard… How much longer will you resist? How long will you defy us? Defy yourself, even?_ **

"Shut up!" she wept, sinking to her knees, in her enemies' blood. "Shut up! Shut up!"

**_Your resistance is… futile…_ **

Slamming a thermal clip into her Talon, Shepard brought the barrel of the pistol to her own temple and screamed, "How about I end it now?! And just be done with it!"

No voice answered her sobs.

"Is that what you want from me?!"

They were silent.

"Answer me!" she shrieked into the darkness… at nothing…

No one was there…

"Shepard?" came a dual toned voice from somewhere behind her.

She spun around on her knees, slipping in blood, pistol still resting against her head. She stared at Garrus, dumbstruck.

Behind him, her mother, Tychus and Vega all wore the same expression, eyes wide in horror at the state they found her in, mouths hanging agape.

Garrus was first to regain his composure at the sight of her. Approaching her with both hands stretched out in front of him as an offering, he whispered, "Shepard… It's alright… You got them all… There's no one left here."

She shook her head, pistol still in place, and sobbed, "I... Th-they're always here… I can't get rid of them…"

"Aurora…," he said sternly, kneeling down in front of her. "Give me the pistol…"

"It'll never be over!" She cried, tears flowing freely over her cheeks, clenching the trigger ever tighter.

Garrus placed a hand gently over her own holding the gun, and said quietly, "We'll get out of this… We always do…"

She looked up into his grey eyes, and when she did, she collapsed into his arms, dropping the weapon, shoulders heaving as she continued to sob. She felt him wrap his large arms around her, holding her steadfast. She clutched onto his armor as firmly as possible, out of fear he might vanish and she wake up again in that godforsaken Cerberus cell.

After several minutes, she brushed the tears away forcefully, and asked, "We'll get through this? Just like old times?"

Garrus' mandibles flared slightly into a sad smile, and he breathed a sigh of relief, "Just like old times…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Garrus' flashback was based on the 3rd Mass Effect: Homeworlds from Dark Horse... 
> 
> Hope everyone's enjoying :D


	28. No Light in the Darkness

Though Life Support was dry and arid, Shepard was unable to shake the cold shudder that ran down her spine. She was distressed and visibly trembling, reeling from… _her incident_ … replaying the traumatizing episode over and over again in her mind, flinching every few seconds at the thought of the pistol's metallic barrel pressed hard against her own skull, at the memory of her finger tight against the trigger, ready to blow her own brains out as the disembodied voices plagued her sanity, wreaking havoc and making her question everything she was… or better yet, the person she used to be. _Could she have pulled the trigger, if Garrus hadn't intervened? Should she have?_ Everything would have ended, the voices would have ceased, and she wouldn't have to endure living in this madness any longer.

From the corner of her vision she saw her mother, Detective Vakarian and Vega whispering amongst themselves (no doubt about what they had just witnessed in Liara's office) as Garrus stood in the corner, arms crossed and brow plates arched, keeping a watchful and ever concerned eye on her, as she continued to wage the furious war within herself.

Everything they had fought for over the years, would be all for naught had she decided to end it there. It would have the coward's way out, dying by her own hand. Even if her crew had gone on without her and defeated the clone, Cerberus would send yet another to replace her, and then another, and another, until at last, they would learn from their mistakes, and send a Shepard so perfected and lethal that no one would be able to stop it. Each time, the Alliance would squash any rumors of Cerberus activity, and classifying each occurrence and mission from the general public, just as they had always done, until all control was lost, and the balance upset.

Giving up would allow Cerberus to gain an unprecedented amount of power, thereby taking control over the Alliance and shattering remaining agreements with the other races. The galaxy needed to know of the terrorist group's brutality. They needed to be exposed to the public and destroyed… just like the Reapers.

By the time Garrus climbed up on the table and poked his head into the ventilation shaft above them, Shepard was resolved. She would not allow Cerberus to dictate her course of action any longer, no matter how many mind control chips they installed into her head… no matter how many clones they sent after her… no matter how many times they rebuilt her. Had she anything to do with it, Cerberus would not win… not today, not ever. She would continue to fight them to the last man standing. She would continue to fight them until her dying breath.

Her body quaked once more against the chill she couldn't shake, and instinctively, she wrapped her arm around herself for warmth.

Garrus stooped down, careful not to catch his fringe on the hole in the ceiling, and offered Shepard his hand. Allowing herself a weak smile, she took his outstretched claw, and he gently hoisted her up to stand next to him.

"Where exactly does this lead?" he asked, jerking his head upward, gesturing toward the vent above them.

"The conference room, one level up," Shepard stated. "Joker used these tunnels to evade the Collectors when they attacked."

"Ah," Garrus nodded in understanding.

"Thank God you didn't ask me to go clambering around in them this time," Joker chided over her earpiece. "I think I cracked both my kneecaps…"

"At least you didn't have to crawl through the vents in the Collector Base," Tali chirped over the comms, out of breath, and gunfire ringing in the background. "I was almost burned alive on several occasions while Shepard played footsies with Harbinger."

Shepard mustered up her remaining strength, and put on her best Commander's visage, ordering, "Cool it you two. Tali, what's your status?"

"We're slowly making our way through Engineering, but it's taking some time…," Tali said hesitantly.

"Yeah… that may have been partly my fault…," grumbled Wrex irritably.

"Why…?" Shepard asked timidly, imagining the krogan chasing down a merc and head butting his way through the hull.

Tali snorted, "Wrex got stuck in the shafts, so we had to neutralize the Port Cargo Area and seal it off while we pried him loose."

"I bet that bruised his ego," snorted Shepard casting a sideways look at Garrus, smirking.

"Damn right it did," Wrex muttered under his breath, but audibly enough for it to be heard in her earpiece. "Don't tell Bakara…"

Still grinning, Shepard replied, "I'll take it into consideration. Tali, notify me when Engineering has been cleared of hostiles, and you're ready to jump start the drive core."

"Got it,"

"Shepard out," she said, ticking off her earpiece and placing her good hand on Garrus' shoulder.

"Ready?" he asked, stooping down and cupping his hands together.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself and nodding, she said, "Let's finish this."

Garrus counted to three, then lifted her into the vent opening, where she landed with a heavy _Oof!_ spread eagle on her stomach. Arms flailed out in front of her, she scrambled into an upright position to make room for her mother, who pulled herself through with more grace and agility than she did. Sticking her head back through the hole in the ceiling to look down at her crew, Shepard commanded, "Garrus, I want you, Vega and Detective Vakarian to go up through the elevator shaft. With any luck, we'll clear them all out before they figure out what hit them."

Barely five minutes later, Shepard found herself crawling through the vents clumsily behind her mother. Dragging the dead weight of her left arm was proving to be more of a challenge than she would have preferred. Every few yards, she would grunt and mutter a string of curse words together as she would stumble over her arm and nearly face plant onto the inside of the shaft.

"You're making a hell of a lot of noise for a stealth attempt," Hannah scolded as she stopped to glare at her daughter.

"Mother," Shepard groaned. She wasn't in the mood for a lecture. "I'm not an infiltrator. I'm a soldier… This is what I do."

Moving forward, Hannah continued to chastise, "I wasn't going to reprimand you in front of your crew because they obviously hold you in high regard, but you can't go barrel rolling through every situation, Aurora… You're careless, reckless and you don't think before you act… look where it's gotten you…"

She rolled her eyes. This was a long standing argument between the two of them and the reason she typically kept so much distance between her and her mother. She did not want to be having this discussion at the moment. In an attempt to squelch the conversation, she lashed out, "Saren, the Collectors… the Reapers… I did what no else was willing to do, and I did it to the best of my abilities."

"Not what I meant," Hannah snapped. "You died! Almost twice! Because you make decisions before you think about them..."

**_She doesn't believe in you… None of them do…_ **

Aurora closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath, "We'll talk about this later."

**_You are alone... Forever alone…_ **

The voices had returned, though barely a whisper in her head.

_Don't you ever stop?_ she thought angrily to them.

**_We await you arrival Shepard…_ **

_What are you?!_ she screamed silently at them.

**_... We are eternal…_** said the most prominent voice, chuckling darkly.

_What do you want from me?!_

An unnerving few moments of silence passed with no reply before she realized her mother was still talking, "-jumping around, from ship to ship… Perhaps I should have raised you in a more stable environment…"

"I'm sorry, mom…," she blurted out.

Hannah whirled around to face her, "Whatever for?"

"For not being the daughter you wanted… I know this wasn't the life you had wished for me…"

"You're right…," Hannah sighed. "I should have retired when my four years were up… I would have been able to give you the life you deserved… You could have gone off to school… Become a scientist… an engineer… anything… but…"

"But?"

"But I didn't…," Hannah paused, searching for the right words. "Aurora… I want you to understand… I know I wasn't around a lot when you were growing up… You spent most of your young life playing with other military kids… I should have been there more often… I regret…"

"You had a duty to the Alliance…," Shepard interrupted quietly… reassuringly. "You did what you could… I certainly don't regret any of it… And for all intents and purposes, I think you did a fine job in raising me…"

"I did, didn't I?" Hannah snorted. "Though, I still can't condone your brashness and recklessness…"

"I did learn from the best," Shepard chided with a grin.

"That godforsaken trait comes from your father… not me," Hannah retorted, shaking her head. "And your nose…"

Aurora continued to smirk, "It's been broken so many times, you can't even tell."

Both mother and daughter chuckled in spite of everything wrong with their current situation.

They continued to make their way through the vents, their banter dying down into silence as they drew closer to the CIC deck, and Shepard was more careful to not allow her bad arm to thump against the metal insides of the shaft. At long last, they finally caught a glimpse of light beaming down the ladder like a beacon in a dark fog.

Hannah motioned for Shepard to halt when they heard the pacing of footsteps above them. Aurora watched as her mother stood up in the opening and put one foot gingerly on the ladder rungs and slowly climbed upwards, disappearing into the light.

The next ten seconds seemed to tick slowly onward in an unsettling calm, as Shepard waited with baited breath for her mother to reappear. All of a sudden, she heard two gunshots, a loud grunt and the cracking of what sounded like bones breaking.

"Mom?" Aurora called out in a whisper, her heart thundering in her chest. _What if a guard had caught her? What if she was hurt?_ In a flash, she felt an overwhelming sense of fear take hold of her.

**_Maybe they disposed of her…_** , the voice jeered once more. **_That would be… enticing… add a little twist into our game…_**

"Mom?" she repeated, ignoring the hissing.

More silence.

It wasn't until a body came thundering down through the opening, did she get an answer. The noise the body made crashing to the bottom of the vent caused Shepard to jump nearly five feet backwards, startling her half to death.

The corpse, thankfully, belonged to a Cerberus guard, head and arms bent at all the wrong angles. Stepping over the form, Shepard looked up to see her mother standing above her, hands on her hips.

"What?" said Hannah, cocking her head to the side.

"Now who's making too much noise?" Shepard said. "Nevermind that. Just help me out of here."

Hannah reached down and locked wrists with her daughter, heaving her up the ladder and into the conference room.

Glancing around the room, searching for more bodies, and not seeing any, Shepard asked, "Just the one?"

"No… two more are dead in the War Room," Hannah said, inclining her head toward the next room.

"Hmph," muttered Shepard. "That was fast."

Retrieving her pistol from the floor, Hannah responded, "Honey, there's a reason I'm an Admiral."

Their banter was cut short by a thunderous explosion in the small vestibule where Privates Campbell and Westmoreland used to be stationed. Hannah grabbed Aurora by the arm and yanked her down behind the conference table, pulling it over on its side as cover, just as a second detonation tore the sealed door asunder, splintering it apart. Without regard for her own well-being, Hannah instinctively flung herself over her daughter's body like a protective cocoon. Shrapnel flew in every direction, shattering the glass walls around their small barrier. Shards rained down on them in a violent torrent, the larger pieces cutting and biting into their exposed skin. Four Centurions funneled into the conference room, guns blazing.

One guard pulled the pin from a grenade and chucked it in the Shepards' direction. The grenade skipped across the floor and came to a halt against Aurora's knee.

"Oh shit!" she shouted, and carelessly picked it up and lobbed it back across the room toward the Cerberus enemies. It detonated in midair, directly in front of a Dragoon charging through the doorway. The heavily armored soldier's head disappeared in a shower of blood and brain matter, his body landing with a _thud_ on the ground.

Shepard blind fired her pistol over top her cover, emptying an entire thermal clip at their adversaries, and not hitting a single one.

"Pistols aren't going to do much damage against these bastards!" she yelled to her mother over the gunshots, as bullets attempted to penetrate their makeshift barrier. An Assault Trooper and a Phantom followed through the entryway and stepped over the dead soldier.

"Damnit," Shepard groaned. They were pinned down, with no heavy artillery and nowhere else to go. It was turning out to be an uneven fight, one in which she would more than like have to unleash her biotics, something she was a little less than willing to do. She hadn't used them since her father had experimented on her. The biotics had done considerable damage to the scientists working on her, but… She flinched at the thought. Her father had punished her for the outburst and for not being able to control it. Not to mention what it took out of her. The last time she did use them, she had passed out from the significant increase in power than what she was typically accustomed to.

"Cover me!" she yelled, standing up. Biotics crackled around her torso, up her chest, and over her shoulders, throwing everything into a haze of indigo and crimson light. She felt the heat and static electricity jump over her skin as it ripped down the length of her right arm, forming into a ball at her fingertips. Taking aim at the Phantom who had moved its way into the center of the small aquad, Shepard cried out, unleashing her Reave.

Instead of just hitting the Phantom, the Reave hit every Cerberus troop in the small room square in their chests. Weapons clanged to the ground in unison as the enemies were lifted off their feet and into the air, their bodies and faces twisting and writhing as their nervous systems were assaulted from the inside. Shepard could sense their life forces flickering out one by one as they were tossed about like rag dolls by her biotics, and she began to revel in it.

**_You can feel that… can't you? Their lives being snuffed out like tiny candles… You DO enjoy this…_ **

When two Centurions and the Phantom remained, struggling to remain alive, Hannah unleashed a devastating Slam that detonated the Reave and blasted the combatants into the walls, where they slid down, unmoving and never to fire another shot.

"What the hell was that?!" exclaimed Hannah, eyes wide in alarm. Shepard collapsed to her knees, winded . Fighting to stay conscious, she said with a humourless, dark smirk, "Cerberus… just… got a taste… of their own medicine…"

Hannah swallowed as she furrowed her eyebrows, " _He_ did this to you?"

Shepard nodded, drained. The Reave had taken a huge toll on her, more than she cared to admit, but she couldn't hide it… not when her eyes kept rolling back and her head lolled forward as she fought off blacking out.

"What would warrant doing… _this_ … to someone… let alone his own _daughter_?" Hannah said, clenching her fists in vehemence. Head hanging between her shoulders, Shepard shrugged, "Maybe he was trying to create the perfect soldier…"

"No such thing," Hannah said, shaking her head in disbelief as Shepard slowly hoisted herself to her feet. Legs trembling, she stumbled sideways before she was able to recover some sort of balance.

Head pounding, Shepard regained her composure and marched from the conference room, into the CIC, her mother in tow.

Upon entering the Combat Information Center, Shepard spotted three Assault Troopers, and immediately took them out with well placed bullets to their heads.

At the same moment, the elevator doors opened, and Archangel lept from the darkness, Geth Spitfire roaring to life as he began to mow down Centurions, Troopers, several Dragoons, an Engineer and a couple more Phantoms. Vega followed suit, shooting everything that moved. Bullets flew every which way, hitting Cerberus troops, consoles, and the walls. She definitely didn't regret upgrading the ship's armor now. Body parts and scarlet blood showered down over the _Normandy_ 's main deck.

_Not a single soul will make it off this ship alive_ , Shepard vowed to herself. From the corner of her vision, Shepard saw Detective Vakarian hang back, looking rather uncomfortable.

Ignoring the elder turian, she looked up just in time to see the clone disappear onto the bridge with her lieutenant and another Centurion, shock and dismay written all over her face. The lieutenant and the Centurion forcing the door shut behind them, locking themselves on the bridge.

Slipping through Cerberus ichor, Shepard strode across the CIC with all the ferocity and fury of hell. Calling out to her double in rage, she shouted, "You can't hide from me!"

Silence.

"Come out and face me like the big, bad Cerberus operative you are!" she yelled, waving her gun wildly in the air. "Or are you too afraid?!"

She gestured for Garrus and Vega to come forward and pry open the door. As the two of them worked as one, Shepard continued to taunt and lay insult to the clone, " _Daddy_ would be so disappointed with you! You failed!"

Still no response.

"You're still only second best, _clone_!" she goaded. "I said, COME OUT AND FACE ME!"

Unexpectedly, the door slid open, seemingly on its own accord, leaving Garrus and Vega scratching their heads. The clone's two guards stepped out, chins up and standing tall, like actual military men, blocking the double from view.

Shepard rolled her eyes in exasperation, "Enough of this!" She fired off four rounds in rapid succession, double tapping each soldier, once in the chest and once in the head, murdering them in cold blood, without remorse or guilt. The execution left the double standing very much alone on the bridge.

She heard her own squad ready their own guns, but she signaled for them to lower their weapons. This was between her and this… mirage… this delusion standing in front of her.

"So it comes down to this, then?" the clone said seethingly, gesturing between the two of them. "You plan to kill me?"

Shepard laughed, "You're damn right I do."

The doppleganger shrugged, "It doesn't matter… He'll just send another one… and another… and another."

"I'm not stopping at just you… No, no, no… Cerberus will fall… I can promise you that," snarled Shepard.

It was the clone's turn to chuckle, "You really have no idea, do you?"

Shepard frowned, "No idea of what?"

"Yeah… Didn't think so... You're so caught up with your insignificant qualms that you don't even realize you are contending with something bigger than you, or your friends… or anyone, for that matter, understands. Bigger than even the Reapers. The Illusive Man only began to scratch the surface of it,"

"The surface of what?" demanded Shepard.

Still grinning, the double said, "All you have to do is a little digging into your precious Alliance, and you'll see the Light."

Shepard rushed her, closing the distance between them swiftly, barreling into her like a freight train and slamming her into the _Normandy_ 's controls. Pointing her gun into the other's face, Shepard growled, "Stop speaking in riddles, and I'll ensure your death is a quick one."

" _You chose wrong, organic...,_ " the clone laughed. Shepard pulled away, taking a step backward, and placing her hand over her mouth, unable… or unwilling to comprehend what she had just heard.

"What did you say?" she said, blinking at the other Shepard.

" _We await your arrival, Shepard…,_ " the other hissed, winking at her.

_How did she know? The voices… they had said the same damn thing… They couldn't be one in the same… could they? No… impossible…_ An engulfing wave of dread washed over her. She didn't know what to make of it…

Her breath quickened, and she staggered under the weight of what the clone had just uttered to her. She didn't know if her squad had heard any of it… Maybe it was just her…

Maybe the whole ordeal was taking place inside her very head… Perhaps _she_ was the delusion…

Her head began to spin once more… voices… voices everywhere screamed at her… shouting, yelling, urging her to turn the gun on everyone aboard the ship, including herself. They were relentless… stronger than before… more enticing…

In the background, she could hear the clone laughing maniacally at her… or was she the one cackling like a mad woman?

She heard the click of a thermal clip drop into the chamber come from behind her…

"NO!" she roared, coming to and spinning on heel, charging the clone for a second time. The voices died out as she raised her hand to strike the double. Her omni-blade flared to life in a flash, throwing a soft, orange glow around the cockpit, as she drove the blade home, deep into the clone's abdomen.

Twisting the weapon slowly as it entered the other Shepard's gut, and with the taste of vengeance upon her lips, Aurora whispered, "Feel that?"

The double's mouth twisted into a wry grin, as the blade was thrust deeper and further. Somewhere… somehow, another gunshot went off.

"That's for every person that has ever been subjected to Cerberus…," she said, yanking the blade from the clone's stomach. The other fell to the floor with a clatter, clutching her abdomen, as blood leaked through her fingers.

Omni-blade still unsheathed, Shepard raised her pistol and directed it between the double's eyes.

"And this is for me, _bitch_ ," she sneered as she pulled the trigger. "Give the Illusive Man my regards."

The clone careened forward, landing at Shepard's feet, her own pistol falling from her hand.

At least _that_ was over… God, she needed a vacation.

Turning back to Garrus and her the rest of her squad, Shepard looked down her front and saw more blood… the clone's? She pressed her hand against it, and it came away warm and wet, glistening in the glow of the emergency lighting on the bridge…

She stumbled toward Garrus, as the blood oozed down her shirt and onto her pants. No… it was most definitely her own.

The other gunshot she had heard…

Just as she was about to keel over, Garrus caught her gingerly in his arms, and they both sunk to the floor.

"Shepard? Shepard!" he shouted at her, shaking her to keep her awake.

"I'm… I'm fine, Garrus… J-Just let me… let me rest," she mumbled, closing her eyes for just a moment. She didn't feel so well… maybe it was Chakwas' stims finally wearing off…

She heard him order someone to hit a button… she heard Tali… she heard all familiar voices… all friendly voices… accept for the one…

**_We await your arrival…_ **

"Shepard, stay with me," Garrus said… his subharmonics were trembling…

He really did care about her…

How did she get so lucky?

She'd be lost without him…

_Garrus..._

He was the last thought she had before diving headfirst into total darkness once more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately, this is where I have stopped writing. I had all of this written before I began posting it. I have much more planned out in my head but actually finding the time to write it, is proving to be more than difficult for now. The updates between now and August are going to be few and far between, as I am currently planning my wedding and it's eating up my free time when I'm not working... but I hope you have enjoyed! And when I do return to finishing this story, I pray you'll still be here!
> 
> Keelah Se'lai!


	29. Symphony of Destruction

_7 weeks, 2 days and 13 hours later..._

At first glance, Vancouver, British Columbia appeared to be a proud, sprawling city, at the apex of human architectural engineering. Gleaming skyscrapers peaked high above the hundreds of smaller buildings surrounding them, piercing the pristine clouds with their sharp angles and jagged spires. Thousands, perhaps millions of windows reflected the rare, but glorious midday sun that evaporated the standing puddles of muddied water throughout the city. People and vehicles lined the perfect parallel streets and sidewalks like sheep following a shepherd, eagerly awaiting a day's outing to the nearest field. At first glance, one would never guess it had seen war and destruction less than a year before. Oddly enough, humans had a tendency to build faster and more spectacular when given a second chance.

Beneath the bosom of this beautiful city, however, beat the tired heart of an old, battle-hardened warrior on the brink of death, unwilling to go down quietly... if one only knew where and how to look.

Walls of stone and metal surrounded the Alliance Base at Jericho Beach like an impenetrable fortress, spreading over several miles. A number of fighter ships were docked, held in place by locking clamps, stone cold and unmoving, like sleeping sentries. One or two hangars on the base were undergoing rehabs, workers on shaking scaffolding with welding torches and visor shades, sparks cascading to cement like hellfire. At least four platoons ran laps around the perimeter, their drill sergeants yelling at them to move faster, to work harder. The Jericho Beach Military Academy stood across the way, a singular white building, stretching toward the heavens, its back facing the English Bay, as waves pounded the base's mighty wall, intent on breaching through the defense. A menagerie of other structures were dispersed throughout the compound, casting long, dark shadows over a central courtyard.

The unmoving husks of once dangerous sentient machines littered the inner yard, their corpses absorbing any light that hit them, unable to reflect back, like miniature scale black holes. Though the Reapers had been defeated and were no more, they still garnered looks of fear whenever a new recruit or private passed by the court.

Jericho Beach had become a burial ground of Reapers and their minions that had fallen in the city. It had occurred to more than just one person, that perhaps the Alliance was attempting to lay to rest the Reaper War, though how the galaxy could easily forget was beyond anyone's imagination. There were still too many burning questions left unanswered that many were unwilling to respond to... even so many months later.

Their lifeless remains could still be seen from St. Gabriel's Military Hospital, some twenty stories up, where Garrus Vakarian stood, behind a large, picturesque window, contemplating moodily over the situation at hand, intent that the human military was seeking... was striving to cover up something it didn't want the general population to know the truth to.

The old adage of don't judge a book by its cover rang disgustingly true. The city's beautiful fallacy reminded Garrus of Illium... a flawless outer shell over top a core that was rotten and dying... The same could be said for the Alliance. Pulling together all its resources and bringing together the might of the galaxy to bear upon the Reapers, turning the tide of the war and then not divulging the whole truth to the public... all for some unseen political agenda... every last bit of it... bureaucratic bullshit... Garrus was convinced the human military was up to something... or knew more than they were letting on, and it made his stomach churn unpleasantly.

In his opinion, as a Primarch, this was not the way to win friends and influence people and keep a firm hold of established alliances with the other races. Unfortunately, not only were they hurting themselves in this endeavor, but they were also hurting the person who single handedly helped them defeat the Reaper threat, and alienating her ought to have been last on their priority list.

Garrus turned from the window and was met with Shepard's still form, laying in her hospital bed. She had not moved or awoken in the last seven weeks, save for the steady rise and fall of her chest beneath the white linen sheets. The doctors were keeping her in a medically induced coma, fearful she might cause more damage to herself than what had already been done. She was in no state to be running around, out of bed, and they were apprehensive that she had done more harm than good, gallivanting around the  _Normandy_ , fighting Cerberus troops.

Garrus approached her, gazing at her through troubled eyes. From here, it appeared as if Shepard may have only been sleeping, though the quiet whirl of machines and the steady beeping of a monitor told him otherwise. He ran a hand gently over the red peach fuzz now growing from her scalp. Closing his eyes, he stooped down and placed his own forehead against hers, tenderly, careful not to touch the bandages covering almost half her body and face, protecting the extensive amount of skin weaves and grafts she had underwent over the last two months.

Not to mention the amputation... Garrus was convinced she would be pissed upon discovering that the doctors had removed her left arm without her consent. He himself had fought and argued with them, had pleaded with them not to do it, for her sake. But as it was, the limb was dead, burnt like a pyjack caught too close to an open flame, bones and tissue beyond any meaningful repair. The doctors had been unable to pinpoint what had exactly caused it, the burns unlike anything they had seen. Granted, her face and neck and body had received some injury like the ones on her arm but not to that extent. The medical team operating on her had been capable enough to work around these strange burns and salvage enough skin for the other parts of her body... but not the arm.

For the first six weeks, the situation had been dire for Shepard. Her body seemed to not take kindly to the medications that were being pumped into to her to aid with recovery. Her nanites had waged war against the drugs that were suppose to be keeping her alive, attacking any cells that were beginning repair. The tiny microbots that had been with her since the Lazarus Project were slowly, but effectively killing her. She had burned with a fever so intense that it would have killed any other human being. Her heart rate, adrenaline, white blood count, metabolic rate had spiked so dangerously high that the doctors had been fearful they would lose her. She had also taken to crying out incoherently in her sleep, often times thrashing about wildly to the point where she had to be restrained to the bed, her remaining wrist locked in leather a leather cuff and her body tethered down with a thick strap not unlike the one Cerberus had used to hold her in place in those damn vids.

Garrus had balked the first time he seen the doctors do it, snarling in rage as he witnessed one of the assistants lock a cuff tightly around a wrist too thin it threatened to slip free. It had taken Wrex and Vega to pull the angered turian from the room and Chakwas to yell at the top of her voice for Garrus to listen long enough to understand it was for Shepard's own good.

Eventually though, her own flailing about became nearly so unbearable that between Liara and Chakwas, they suggested that perhaps the outdated and archaic nanites ought to be filtered out of Shepard's bloodstream and replaced with new ones capable of working with, rather than against the drugs. The doctors complied, all other routes exhausted.

For over 50 hours, they all waited with baited breaths, and watched as nothing changed. It wasn't until nearly 51 hours in, did Shepard's raging fever finally break and begin to steadily decrease. At 53 hours, her levels dropped to a more acceptable range. And at 55 hours after the new nanobots were administered, her body slackened and unclenched, falling limp against the pillows, where she currently remained, sleeping quite soundly.

But as it was, last night, Shepard's medical team had informed Garrus, that she was not yet out of the woods. There was the matter of the mind control chip still implanted in her head. They had take a number of scans and found that the chip was imbedded quite further than anyone dared to believe was possible, and that removing it would indeed cause some serious damage to her mental functions. Presently, no one was daring enough or willing enough to attempt an extraction.

They would discover the severity of the device's effects sooner or later, and then, perhaps an approach of dealing with it would reveal itself.

Immersed in his own thoughts, Garrus never heard the door open and shut quietly behind him, his head still bent over Shepard's, just barely touching hers.

"Shepard," he whispered quietly to her, almost pleading with her. "Listen to me... If... if you can hear me... I know you'll make it through this... just like you always do... just like old times... And then we'll go someplace warm... tropical... like we've talked about... I've got a few places in mind that I think you'll really like... And-"

"Garrus..." came a gentle voice at his back. Without turning, he replied, his voice trailing off with a weary sigh, "Hey Liara..."

"Why don't you go downstairs and get something to drink?" she whispered quietly.

After a few moments of tense silence, and disregarding the asari's question completely, he muttered to no one in particular, "Am I crazy?"

When Liara didn't immediately respond, he added, "For getting involved with... with the hero of the whole _damn_ galaxy... for not leaving her side..."

"Joker once told me," began Liara. "That when Shepard pulled you off Omega, after you were nearly killed, it took all of Jacob's and Zaeed's strength to pull her from the medbay long enough for Chakwas to work on you. Apparently, as Joker tells it, she pushed Jacob into the wall, waving her pistol in his face, and broke Zaeed's nose when he tried to stop her. It wasn't until Miranda intervened did she actually stop... So the answer to your question, Garrus... Are you crazy for wanting to be by her side around the clock? You are no crazier than Shepard is..."

Garrus snorted as he allowed himself the briefest of grins before he said, "I'm exhausted, Liara..."

She chuckled, "I think we all are..."

"Not what I meant," he sighed. "Not just from this... but from everything... The chase for Saren, my stint as Archangel, the Collector Base, the Reaper War, playing politics on Palaven, all this shit with Cerberus... I feel...  _old_... older than I ought to feel..."

Liara smiled kindly at him, shaking her crested head, "You're still a young turian..."

"Yeah... but I've seen more in my thirty some odd years than most see in a lifetime... I- we've been through more than any ought to be under any normal circumstances."

"But these haven't been normal circumstances though, have they?" said Liara solemnly. "I do see what you mean though... I'm still in my maiden stage, and yet, I feel as if I've entered into a matron, and I don't even recall when it happened."

Dwelling on this did nothing to settle Garrus' insides so he redirected the course of the conversation, "So Wrex and Tali have decided to return to their home planets for now?"

"Yes," Liara nodded. "Wrex has a duty to uphold not only as leader of Clan Urdnot, but also as a father to his own children."

"Quite a brood he's got now, hasn't he?" Garrus said thoughtfully, scratching at his scars.

"Indeed... and Tali has a whole new planet to settle into, and as part of the quarian Admiralty Board, she too has responsibilities to oversee."

"My father's decided to return home to Palaven as well... He wants to make amends with my sister... " he continued explaining upon seeing the puzzled look on the asari's face. "Neither of us left her on good terms... She didn't quite agree with our... spontaneous departure.

"So with them gone and Miranda gone AWOL," Garrus began counting on his fingers. "That leaves two of us, Joker, EDI, Chakwas, Vega, Kaidan, and Admiral Shepard... What happened with Javik?"

"Oh, our prothean friend is floating around Vancouver somewhere, probably muttering about something to do with primitives," Liara sniggered.

Garrus frowned, "I thought that he had said he was going to go find the rest of his people and finally be at peace with them..."

"He won't admit it, but I think he likes us too much now," Liara said, the corners of her mouth turning upward, causing Garrus to chuckle. "He's grown on me a bit as well," she added absent-mindedly, almost as an after thought.

Glancing down at Shepard once more, Garrus said, "I  _should_  check in with Aurelia... make sure everything is still status quo back on Palaven... Perhaps you're right... Maybe I will go stretch my legs for a bit..."

"That's the most sensible thing you've said in a long while, Garrus," Liara whispered, relief flashing across her face. "I'll stay right here should you need anything."

"You will call me though? If anything changes?"

"Of course I will,"

Garrus nodded his thanks and left, shutting the door behind him, completely at ease with leaving the Shadow Broker alone with Shepard.

* * *

**Well... with the wedding over and the honeymoon a triumph, I figured I should get back to some writing... more to come soon!**


	30. Awakening

_Mist and shadow,_

_Cloud and shade,_

_All shall fade…_

_All shall fade…_

-          _Pippin’s Song, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King_

_"I don't see why you have to do this...," Brian trailed off as he sat down next to her unzipped duffle bag._

_Aurora paused, a number of wrinkled shirts threatening to tumble from her arms. A few moments of silence passed before she allowed herself to speak, a slight and quavering hitch in her voice, "We've been through this, Brian... seven times already..."_

_"But why?" he asked again, ruffling his blonde shaggy hair with one hand, as the other fiddled with the black zipper on the opened bag._

_She looked up at him, exasperated, having endured this line of questioning a multitude of times in the last two weeks. Brown eyes frowned back at her, set behind a pair of square glasses, Brian was a sweet boy... kind, caring, quick to trust... always had been, hence why she had initially liked him. Aurora knew he had good intentions for questioning her motives, and rightfully so, seeing as how they had been dating for the last six months. But this was a conversation they kept returning to, ever since she had revealed to him, 13 days ago, that she would soon be carted off to basic training with the Alliance, a 15 week rigorous and grueling camp, meant to separate the weak from the strong and the willing, in the hopes they would become the best soldiers the human race had to offer to the galaxy._

_Aurora didn't expect him to understand. He wasn't suited for military life, as far as she could tell. Sure he had grown up on a number of stations, just as she had, with both parents as high ranking officials, but he never had the brawn. On the other hand, he definitely had more than his fair share of smarts. Brian had tested within the third percentile of their class, and out of about 1600 students spread throughout the galaxy that was saying something. He had received an all expense paid scholarship to some prestigious university back on Earth to study philosophy, or metaphysics, or ontology... she didn’t pretend she understood._

_Aurora had been offered several scholarships as well, and had also been invited to study galactic cryptozoology at a research facility on Thessia. But she turned them all down when the Alliance came calling, much to the disappointment of several of her professors, Brian and her mother. She couldn't explain it, but she felt an unwavering certainty that the military was her path in life._

_By no stretch of the imagination was Aurora athletic. She knew nothing of weaponry... or hand to hand combat... or strategic planning. Hannah Shepard had always kept her military career seperate from raising Aurora, never teaching her even basic military knowledge, hoping to shield her from that way of life. Aurora would be the first to admit, she was a bit bitter towards her mother for raising her this way._

" _I don't want you to endure the hardships I've faced," Hannah would say, as her eyes would brim with silent tears. "You can change the galaxy in other ways... safer ways..."_

_More than once, this statement was followed by a long, drawn out argument: Aurora calmly defiant, stating she knew what she was doing, having thought about it since she was in her early teens, while Hannah was beside herself, furious her daughter was following her footsteps, terrified that she would lose her only family._

_"What-" Brian started, jerking Aurora from her thoughts. "W-what if you don't come back?"_

  _It was her turn to frown, "You mean 'what if I die?'"_

  _Brian shrugged, looking sheepishly at his feet._

_"Don't worry...," she snorted, a mirthless smile playing upon her lips. "I'm so damn clumsy, they'll probably want to keep me as far away from a battlefield as possible… that or I’ll be the first to get shot…”_

_"That’s not funny…,” Brian snapped._

_“No,” she said, the grin fading. “I suppose it’s not… though it’s always a possibility.”_

_Brian said nothing in return, as she continued to pack her bag._

_When she was finished, she swung the single piece of luggage over her shoulder, ready to head down to the hangar. The other three recruits from the station would be waiting to board the shuttle that would take them to their transportation ship, which, in turn, would whisk them away to an Alliance training facility on Earth._

_She turned to Brian with a lopsided smirk, “Well… I suppose this is it then? Huh?”_

_Brian stood from the edge of bed, shifting his feet nervously and wringing his hands together until his fingers turned an angry red._

_Aurora touched his face gently with her free hand, causing him reluctantly make eye contact. She could see the sorrow and uncertainty lurking in his eyes, even behind those rectangular spectacles._

_"I’ll be fine. Don’t you worry,” she said quietly, doing her best to reassure him. He bit his lower lip and mumbled, “Will you write?”_

_“Oh… I don’t see why not… after basic is finished… Perhaps we could even plan a meet up afterwards,” she mused. This seemed to cheer him up a bit, though she doubted these hurried words would ever unfold into anything more than an empty promise._

_"I love you Aurora!”_ _he blurted out rather hastily, just as she turned to leave the room. It was her opportunity to feel sorrow and a slight pang of guilt; she knew she didn’t share the same feelings that he did, and it pained her to admit it._

_Unable to think of an appropriate response, she rushed back to him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. With one last glance back at Brian, which she noted he had turned red from his neck to the tips of his ears with embarrassment at the sudden professing of his emotions, she raced down the hall of the dormitories to the elevator where her mother was waiting patiently._

_"Have everything, honey?” Hannah Shepard asked, apprehensively fiddling with Aurora’s zip up hoodie. Aurora punched the elevator button to take them down four levels to the hangar bay._

_She simply nodded at her mother, keeping her mouth tightly clamped, afraid she might lash out, and tell her for what seemed like the 100 th time that she would be alright and this is what she wanted… needed to do. _

_As they boarded the lift and the doors slid shut, they rode down in silence, leaving Aurora to fathom why in the world her mother had a problem with her daughter joining the Alliance. Hannah was a decorated combat veteran of the First Contact War, as well as a number of operations in the Terminus Systems, most likely dealing with pirates and raiders. Her personal arsenal, steeled away in a weapons footlocker under her bed, was an impressive array of rifles, pistols, shotguns and a number of mods in which Aurora knew next to nothing about. Medals and plaques of recognition littered nearly every surface in her mother’s quarters, and she had just recently received a promotion to Major. The Alliance was Hannah’s life, but wanted none of it for Aurora._

_For at least a good three or four years now, Aurora knew that this is what she wanted to do. The first time she had seen her mother break down after a botched mission, she knew the Alliance was her path in life. She hated seeing her mother in such a state: vulnerable, grief stricken and filled with the agony of losing a close friend. Failure had never been an option, except when it was… She didn’t want Hannah to have to go through it anymore than she already had… She wanted her mom to retire and spend her remaining years planting gardens or writing books or… Hell, she didn’t even know what her mother enjoyed in her free time… It had always been Alliance this and mission that… never any mention of a hobby or other interest… Well that would certainly change in due time… Aurora would make sure of that._

_The elevator finally slowed to a stop and shuddered before the doors opened wide, revealing a wide throng of people, here to see the several new recruits off the station._

_Aurora practically bounded out of the lift with pure excitement without saying a word to Hannah, but the older Shepard grabbed hold of her daughter and swung her around into a vice like hug._

_"I’ll see you in four months at graduation, alright?” Hannah whispered into her ear. Aurora giggled, squeezed her back and said, “No worries! Ok? I’m doing this for you!”_

_And with a peck on the cheek and a final wave “goodbye”, Aurora nearly skipped to the Alliance shuttle, where the other recruits were loading themselves up, under the supervision of a tall, dark staff commander… or was he a lieutenant? Shit… she had no idea…_

_The other three recruits, all boys her age, and all much larger than she was, turned to face her, as she entered the shuttle. Caldwell, Elliot, and Matthews all wearing the same, mocking smirks, with Caldwell, the largest, snickering._

_“How much you wanna bet little Shep gets killed within the first four weeks of basic?” Elliot said, his voice low and gravelly. Matthews jovially replied, “I’ll take that bet!”_

_Caldwell snorted, “I’ll pass on that… I’ll give her two weeks tops!”_

_Aurora sat down in the furthest corner from the trio and tried to shrink into the shadows._

_Just as Caldwell was about to continue, the high ranking officer stepped onboard, the shuttle door gliding across its track easily and sealing them inside with a hiss._

_The dark officer rapped on the pilot’s seat twice with his knuckles, and the shuttle launched from the hangar._

_"Welcome to the Alliance, recruits! I’m Commander David Anderson, and in a few minutes we’ll be docking with the_ Enlightenment _. We’ll then jump to Sol, where we’ll be returning to Earth,” The Commander’s voice suddenly switched from a warm and welcoming tone and became cold, calculating, and authoritative. “From now and for the next 15 weeks, you are nobodies… You will eat when you are told, sleep when told… even shit when told. You will-“_

_“-Probably can’t even hold an M-8 Avenger!” Caldwell whispered to his two buddies. Elliot and Matthews stifled laughs with their hands, unknowing that Anderson had stopped talking._

_The laughter slowly trailed off into silence, as each realized Anderson was no longer speaking. Anderson crossed his arms, an unreadable look upon his face._

_“Was there something you wanted to share, recruit?” he said to Caldwell in a deadly voice. Aurora swore she could have cut the tense in the air with an omni-blade. Caldwell’s hazel eyes widened in panic as he shook his head anxiously._

_“I’m sorry,” the Commander growled. “I didn’t catch that…”_

_“N-no… There was nothing I wanted to share…,” Caldwell stammered. Anderson moved swiftly across the interior of the shuttle, and was upon the recruit in the blink of an eye, mere inches from Caldwell’s face._

_“You will address me as ‘Sir’ and only ‘Sir’. Can your thick skull and dim mind comprehend that?” Anderson breathed._

_“Sir, yes Sir!” the recruit managed._

_“Good, now that we have at least an understanding of one another, the three of you are on latrine duty for the next week. Once back to Earth, you will report to Liuetenant Conner for your schedule and assignment,”_

_All three faces of the recruits fell as Anderson spoke, but he paid them no mind. Instead, he rounded on Aurora. Apparently, attempting to shroud herself in the shadows was proving to be useless. A fleeting glance looked over her red hair and small stature, finally coming to rest on her blue eyes._

_“Shepard? Right?” he asked._

_“Yes Sir,” she said, sitting up straight and gulping nervously._

_“Your mother is one hell of a soldier,” Anderson mused, a smirk playing at one corner of his mouth. Aurora nodded, not daring to speak. What excitement she had before boarding had quickly dissipated, her confidence already diminishing into nothing._

_“Right…,” Anderson continued. “You’re on latrine duty with these dumbasses, as well.” Aurora’s mouth fell open. What had she done already to warrant that?_

_“You need to learn to stand up for yourself. Harden yourself. Steel yourself. This won’t be the last time you’re mocked or thrown under the bus or jeered at,” he turned to face the others. “This applies to you as well. If you want to succeed in the Alliance, stop doubting yourself, and start believing, because everything is about to change.”_

_The rest of their short journey to the_ Enlightenment _, Aurora gazed out at the stars_ _hanging overhead and all around, twinkling… shining… watching her like beady, malicious eyes. She suddenly felt alone, standing in the middle of the blackness… a void, with only the cosmos beneath_

* * *

__Leaving the cafeteria portion of the Alliance hospital behind, his belly only somewhat filled, Garrus headed back to Shepard’s private room.

Thoughts and uneasy wonderings filled his already muddled brain. The hunt for Shepard…what had transpired on the _Normandy_ … her surgery and treatment… and what her recovery might have to include… his father’s sudden urgency to return to Palaven… He was particularly disturbed by Shepard’s near suicide in the mess hall aboard the warship, and this control chip Cerberus had implanted so far into her brain that no one dared an attempt to remove it. Garrus shook his head, growling with impatience and frustration.

He was so immersed with his thoughts that he failed to realize that he was nearing the lone corridor leading to Shepard’s room. Alenko and Vega stood guard, rifles in hand, as two other sentries watched from the other end, the Marines blocking both ends from unwanted intruders… ie reporters, Cerberus infiltrators, Conrad Verner…

Garrus rounded the final corner when he happened upon a peculiar scene unfolding with the Spectre and N7 operative.

“Please! Just let me through!” a dirty blonde haired man with squared glasses begged. He was holding a multitude of data pads that looked at risk of spilling over his arms and clattering to the hospital floor.

Vega raised his rifle and aimed it at the unknown man, and said dangerously, “And what makes you think that whatever it is you’re looking for is down this hallway, _pendejo_?”

The newcomer threw his hands in the air in exasperation, the data pads clattering to the tile, causing a loud ruckus to reverberate off the sterile walls.

“I’ve already told you! I was contacted by an agent of the Shadow Broker, who told me to meet them at this exact location!”

“And why should we believe you?” Garrus said in a threatening tone as he tore down the rest of the hall. The blonde haired main shrank in size as he whirled around to face an irritated and angry, 7 foot tall turian.

“I was told to meet a Dr. T’Soni… I-I have some information for her,” he stammered, gesturing toward his toppled load, scattered about the floor.

“How do you know Dr. T’Soni? Who told you where she was located?!” Garrus demanded, moving in a way that his shadow bore down on the man.

“Because, Garrus, I told him to meet me here,” Liara appeared from Shepard’s room, closing the door behind her.

“Dr. Brian Potts, I presume?” Liara said gently, approaching them, her hand extended in greeting. Relief washed over the man’s face, as he shook Liara’s hand rather vigorously.

“Thank you so much for agreeing to meet!” Potts said, stooping to retrieve his collection of whatever data he had brought along.

“Doctor, this is James Vega, N7 Alliance Marine, Spectre Major Kaidan Alenko, and Primarch Garrus Vakarian,” all inclined their heads without saying a word, perhaps still a bit suspicious of this newcomer.

“Dr. Potts is a former aquaintence of Shepard, and may have some sort of inclination as to what is happening,” Liara said. Garrus just then noticed that the asari’s eyes were leaking tears, and he cocked his head to the side.

“You can just call me Brian,” the man said cheerily, standing back up. “And I’m actually a former on again, off again boyfriend of Aurora’s…”

This statement caused Garrus to arch a brow plate and utter a deep and guttural growl from deep within his chest. Not that he cared if this man was a former boyfriend of Shepard, but he did not approve of being deceived by Liara. Alenko had remained quite silent through the whole exchange.

“Blue? Is something wrong?” Vega said, lowering his weapon. He must have spied the asari’s tear stricken face as well.

Liara flushed a dark tinge of blue and couldn’t help but smile, “She’s awake…”

* * *

**So I hadn't realized its actually been as long as it's been... nearly 2 years... YIKES! but I'm back! Enjoy!**


	31. Elysian Fields

_ We are storming the heavens _

_ To raise the swords and shields _

_ We ascend to our destiny _

_ To the Elysian Fields _

                    _\- Elysian Fields, Megadeth_

_ Elysium was a beautiful world. John Grissom couldn’t have chosen a more picture-perfect planet to settle on and enjoy his retirement… Hard to believe that was 16 years ago…  _

_ The majority of the land formations on Elysium were situated high above sea level, and on a vast, sweeping plain, situated in the shadows of two high mountain ranges that pierced the white clouds, and where Grissom had finally decided to retire, the capital of Illyria had risen swiftly and steadily around him. Within in five years, the city had become a booming space port for not only humans, but a vast portion of the known species in the galaxy.  _

_ The planet was positioned fairly close to several major and minor relays, the newly opened John Grissom Academy, and within FTL distance to one or two other tourist worlds, making it a textbook travel destination. The fact that Elysium sat on the fringes of the Skyllian Verge, and remote outposts and settlements were occasionally attacked by small bands of pirates, did not seem to deter visitors or colonists. Most felt relatively safe and comfortable, due to the high presence of Alliance military personal stationed here, both on and off duty. Many Alliance soldiers even enjoyed spending their shore leave in the capitol city or on the stark white, snowy slopes of Mt. Aeden.  _

_ As it happened to be, Aurora Shepard was relieved to be on a sabbatical, no matter how short it may be. She was planetside for the next three days, and had no plans to venture into the city like many of her peers. Instead, she opted to stay in a small town about 10 clicks from the furthest outskirts of Illyria. She had made a promise, and being a tenured soldier, she meant to keep that promise.  _

_ The sun was beginning to set, as Aurora made her way down the town’s only main road. Her omni-tool read that it was nearly 2200 hours, casting an orange glow onto her cold and wind burned cheeks. She was making decent time and would arrive on schedule at the 20th century style diner, just around the corner from her motel. Rounding out the last bend before her destination, she spied the man she was to be reuniting with. He stood under the soft white halo of a street lamp, casually leaning against the post, shuffling his feet in the newly fallen snow.  _

_ Aurora happened upon him as he was still deep in his own thoughts, and said quietly, with a halfcocked grin, “Long time, no see, Brian.” _

_ Brian Potts practically jumped out of his shoes at the sound of her voice, and no wonder, the street was almost silent, save for the light crunching of the snow beneath their soles. It was almost as if they were the only two people here. _

_ Once he realized who had snuck up on him, Brian doubled over, hands on his knees, breathing heavily. Aurora snorted, he had always been too jumpy.  _

_ “I hate when you do that,” he said, shaking his head crossly. “You’ve always done it… for as long as we’ve known each other.” She shrugged her shoulders, now grinning from ear to ear. He stood up straight and gazed longingly at her. _

_ “You look fantastic,” he said in a wistful voice. Her grin faded just a bit, and she rubbed the back of her neck with a gloved hand. _

_ “Thanks…,” she managed awkwardly. She hadn’t meant to dress up or look “fantastic”. She was wearing her fatigues, a pair of worn combat boots, a heavy jacket and gloves, and of course her sidearm on her hip.  _

_ Needless to say, Aurora was attempting to appear as any other ordinary soldier. While she did promise to meet Brian here, she was planning on breaking things off with him once and for all… The on again, off again thing wasn’t working out the way she had anticipated, and Brian didn’t deserve to be strung out. Aurora harbored no hard feelings or dislike for him, but he wasn’t suited for this. He needed someone who would be there for him and share his feelings, someone a little closer to home.  _

_ Brian reached out and took her hands in his, and said with a smile, “Let’s go inside… it’s freezing out here. Aurora nodded in agreement and the thought of hot coffee took a foremost precedence in her mind. He held open the door for her and pressed his lips against her cheek sheepishly as she walked by. _

_ They were seated momentarily by a VI bot that also took their drink orders: two coffees; Brian’s with cream and sugar, and Aurora took hers black. In the minutes the VI was gathering their orders, Aurora grabbed a hold of her dog tags and twisted them around and around, suddenly aware of how anxious she was to have this discussion. She had replayed it over and over in her head, until the script was flawless, until she knew precisely what to say, but it had all seemed for naught. She was thoroughly uneasy and had no clue where to begin. _

_ After the bot had dropped off their coffee and a few apprehensive moments of muteness, it was Brian who spoke first.  _

_ “Something wrong dear?” he asked, clearly bewildered by the tension between them _

_ Aurora flinched, she hated pet names, particularly that one. Oh, how she wished there was an easier way to do this, one that didn’t involve obliterating their friendship. This was going to be more difficult than that krogan she fought who gave her the deep scar now permanently etched in a diagonal line beginning from her eyebrow, crossing the bridge of her nose and ending on her opposite cheek. _

_ She sighed heavily. Finding her resolved, she began, “Brian… This… We can’t… Us… This is not something I have taken lightly…” _

_ But just as she was about launch into her apparently ill prepared speech, there was a loud explosion that reverberated off the walls, shattering windows, and spraying the patrons of the diner with shards of glass. Several people uttered high pitched squeals of alarm. _

_ “What the hell was that?” Aurora swore, craning her neck to peer over the fragmented frame and out into the dark streets. She was unable to see anything except for a turian couple across the road, glancing wildly around, and perhaps wondering the same. She glanced around at the other clients in the eatery. They were just as bewildered as she was. _

_ Standing, she shook bits of glass from her jacket she hadn’t bothered to remove upon entering. Brian was still cowering in his both, hands over his head. She shook her head wearily at him, and turned to everyone else, placing her arms in the air to gain their attention.  _

_ “Please remain calm… I am an Alliance soldier. Stay where you are… I’m going to make contact with Command to see if they have any idea what that was.” _

_ Because Aurora knew the  _ SSV Agincourt _would be in orbit around the planet, she opened a secured line on her omnitool. As she was ready to connect her call, a second, closer blast sent her sprawling on the floor._

_ From these last several years of training, she knew one disaster may be an accident, but two? Two was surely an attack of some kind. And she had a high suspicion of who was behind it.  _

_ Ears still ringing, Aurora got to her feet, and pulled her pistol from its holster. She was no longer Aurora Shepard, a common no one on shore leave… instead 2nd Lieutenant Aurora Dawn Shepard of the 103rd Division Alliance Marines emerged.  _

_ “You all stay inside,” Shepard ordered to the civilians, raising up to full height. “And no one, I repeat, NO ONE is to come out until you see myself or another Alliance soldier. Do you understand?” _

_ She watched as a dozen frighten eyes bobbed up and down in compliance. Satisfied, she strode out into the street, the snow crunching under her boots.  _

_ “Did you see in which direction it came from?” she called out to the pair of turians still on the other side of the road. The taller one, the male she guessed, shook his head, mandible twitching in an unreadable fashion.  _

_ The smaller of the two, female, gestured north and said in a flanging voice, “It sounded like it was almost on top of us!”  _

_ Shepard followed the turian’s pointed finger and saw an angry orange and red glow coming from somewhere between them and Illyria. Beyond that, she witnessed a number of non-Alliance fighter ships dart toward the capitol city. Not moments after they disappeared, three tall skyscrapers when up in flames, like fiery torches licking the heavens.  _

_ A deafening roar overhead sounded two other unknown fighters giving chase to a military cruiser. The anti-air cannons surrounding the capitol city began to go off with thundering BOOMs, sending shockwaves across Elysium’s terrain. More bombardments shook the earth, rattling even Shepard’s bones. It felt like a terrible earthquake was ready to split the world in two.  _

_ As Shepard watched the scene unfold in numb shock, she felt Brian’s presence by her side.  _

_ “What’s happening?” he asked, visibly shaken. _

_ “I told you to stay inside!” she snapped at him as if he were a small child. He stood with a dumbfound look upon his face, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, gasping for air. _

_ Terrified screams echoed through the darkening town. _

_ “They’re here!” someone shouted from an adjacent block. “Batarian slavers! They’ve come to enslave us all!” _

_ Enraged, Shepard marched over to the turian couple. If it truly was the batarians come to take what wasn’t theirs, she was not about to go down quietly. _

_ “I need the two of you to find as many skycars as you possibly can and begin blocking both ways into town,” she demanded. Spotting an asari, coming from inside a gift shop, Shepard rounded on her. “Good! You can help them!”  _

_ The asari frowned back at Shepard. Aurora was beginning to get pissed. This is not exactly what she had in mind for her shore leave… AND WHY THE HELL WASN’T ANYONE LISTENING?! _

_ Punching angrily at her omni-tool, she brought up the microphone app, and started to yell, “Do you not understand? Elysium is under attack, by the batarians, no less!”  _

_ “Why should we care?” the male turian asked, crossing his arms. “What good will it do us if we help you humans? The batarians are only upset with you because you took their planet!”  _

_ Shepard’s eyes widened. She really could not comprehend what she was hearing.  _

_ “Are you really that stupid?!” she barked. Both turians made a threatening move towards her. Instinctively, she raised her pistol and point it at them, causing them to hault in their tracks. “The batarians are pirates… raiders… slavers… Do you know what that means? It means they don’t discriminate when they take slaves, when they kill… as long as they get what they want! It means that when this planet falls, we all go down with it.” _

_ She lowered her firearm, and turned on heal to face the small buildings. She knew people were hiding in them, listening to what was unfolding.  _

_ “So I’m not gonna stand idly by to allow some batarian THUGS to walk all over me! You can run, you can keel over and let them take you… I can guarantee that you will all beg for death before the end! Now, I am defending this town with or without your help, but if it’s without, you better just stay out of my goddamn way.” _

_ There was a moment’s respite, where silence hung eerily in the air, before the female turian stepped forward, nodding, “We’ll block both ends off, like you said…” _

_ Shepard nodded, letting out a sigh of relief she hadn’t realized she was holding.  _

_ Eleven minutes later, she knelt in the snow, gripping an older model style machine gun, set in the driver’s side window of a vehicle. They were using the skycar barricade as cover. A retired Marine who owned a pawnshop around the corner had brought his entire inventory of weapons, ammo, and a small arsenal of grenades for their minor coalition to use. Besides Shepard, the group consisted of an N7, 3 asari, the two turians, one very cranky krogan, and Brian, who was exceedingly frightened to stray too far from Shepard’s side, no matter her insistence.  _

_ And thus, they waited… They waited with bated breath for the next quarter of an hour. The aerial dogfights seemed to have subsided, the anti-aircraft guns only sounded every so often and there were very few wails and gunfire echoing through the night. Perhaps the Alliance had stopped the attack before it even began. _

_ Just as Shepard’s legs began to cramp from kneeling in the same position for so long, she thought she heard a noise growing closer and closer.  _

_ “Maybe that was it…,” Brian whispered.  _

_ “Sshh!” she hissed. It sounded like something large and hulking moving across the snow. _

_ “I think it might be over Auror-” Brian started again. _

_ “SSHH!!!” she whispered more harshly than before. It sounded like the loud trundling of giant tires… like a whole fleet of tires…  _

_ Shepard stood up, her knees cracking as she did so. Four M35 Makos making their way toward them. She sighed, relief washing over her. She could just make out the Alliance symbols on the sides of one as it skidded and slid on the freezing ground.  _

_ She waved at it, signaling that they were indeed here. It proved to be a huge mistake that nearly cost them all dearly. One 155mm round discharged just barely overhead, tearing through the air like a bat out of hell.  _

_ “Open fire!” Shepard roared, instantly reacting. She dropped down to her knees and unleashed a barrage of gunfire into the Makos. All four minigun turrets responded, hailing down on the makeshift blockade with ferocity. It would never hold if this went on much longer.  _

_ As if reading Shepard’s mind, one of the asari threw up a biotic barrier to reinforce it, just as the other two flung Warp after Warp at the first vehicle in the hopes of taking down its armor plating. The N7 lobbed grenades at it, doing minimal damage. The tiny army continued like this for several minutes, before Shepard admitted that if they were to keep this up, at the rate these things were taking damage… or rather not taking damage, they would all be dead or kidnapped sooner than she cared to admit.  _

_ “This… isn’t… working…, human!” the krogan growled between blasts from his customized, modded shotgun.  _

_ “Really??” Shepard retorted. “I hadn’t noticed!”  _

_ Something was going to have to change here. Continuing to spray and pray her machine gun, she watched as the N7 chucked another grenade at the Mako. She watched it fall in a graceful arc. When it finally touched down, the grenade rolled to a hault under the ATV, and Shepard aimed her weapon at the grenade and squeezed the trigger.  _

_ The result was what she could have hoped for. The vehicle went up in a flash of blazing warm colors, reaching 30 ft or more into the night sky.  _

_ Maybe this was the way to bring the remaining three bastards down. But glancing around, Shepard understood that wouldn’t happen. They were running low on ammo already, and running out of time. Something drastic needed to be done.  _

_ On a whim, Shepard decided the first idea that popped into her mind was the best idea. She chucked the machine gun to the side, causing Brian to startle. She grabbed an older style Avenger, clicked on the Disruptor ammo and began clambering over the skycars.  _

_ “Reinforce that barrier!” she yelled at the second and third asari.  _

_ “Just what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” the N7 operative demanded.  _

_ “What does it look like?” she snapped. “Cover me!” And with that, she jumped down to the otherside of the makeshift barricade, her booted feet sending up a flurry of snow as she landed.  _

_ As she made her away nimbly past the ruined Mako to the other three, Brian’s protests were drowned out by the cannons. She was a bit inclined to agree with him. This was probably not the best idea she had ever come up with, but she didn’t see any other alternative. With the Alliance comm channels all but static, she would be unable to raise anyone. These batarian bastards were not getting this planet, even if it meant putting her life at risk.  _

_ Shaking her thoughts from her head, Shepard hoisted up her Avenger and sprinted around the backside of the next closest Mako. Pulling herself up the small access ladder in the back. Once on top of the vehicle, she steadied herself. Once sure she had a decent foothold, Shepard made her way across the roof to the emergency hatch. She was able to hear voices coming from the belly of the Mako. _

_ “Someone’s outside!” a voice exclaimed. Definitely batarian.  _

_ “Probably some dumb Alliance prick,” a second voice said. “Get your ass out there and give them a proper Skyllian welcome. _

_ The trapdoor opened faster than Shepard could have anticipated. Out of the hole, came one ugly, four eyed batarian, baring his razor like teeth in a foul grin. He raised a pistol and pointed it directly at her head. Instinctively, she kicked him in the face so hard, she heard an audible “crack”… possibly a cheek or an orbital bone. He howled out in pain, clutching his face with one hand, and wildly swinging around his gun with the other. A shot discharged from the pistol, and a round promptly found its new home in Shepard’s upper arm.  _

_ Ignoring the burning ache that began to spread down the length of her forearm and into her hand, she pulled the trigger on her Avenger. The blast from the rifle, coupled with firing it one handed and at close range, sent Shepard careening onto her back, head buzzing and ears ringing.  _

_ Scrambling back to her feet, she realized the batarian was dead. His head had been torn apart. Brain matter, blood and bones littered the roof of the Mako, and Shepard couldn’t believe she had completely obliterated the batarian. She stared at the body in half disbelief, she didn’t think she had killed anyone by a point blank shot to the head yet… it was a mess and if it ever happened again, it would be too soon. But this wasn’t over yet.  _

_ Hauling the body out of the hatch opening with all her strength and tossing it over the side of the vehicle, Shepard dropped through hole, rifle still in hand.  _

_ “I hope you took care of the problem,” the second batarian growled, without turning. He was still at the controls for the weapons.  _

_ Shepard raised her Avenger a second time, saying, “Not yet… but I’m about too.” _

_ The other pirate whirled around in the captain’s swivel chair, surprise etched across his pockmarked face.  _

_ The moment they made eye contact, Shepard fired another shot, hitting this assailant squarely in the chest. He was gone in almost a second, as she watched the light leave his eyes. Heaving the dead batarian from the chair and discarding it behind her, Shepard sat down and took to the Mako’s controls. _

_ Having driven several M29 IFVs, the M35 couldn’t be much different. No windows, outside mounted cameras, a monitor to view the outside surroundings, a machine gun turret and the 155mm cannon. She just hoped to whatever gods were listening, that she wouldn’t have to drive damn thing.  _

_ Shepard spun the turret around to face the final two hijacked military vehicles. Without hesitation, she punched the large red button and sent a volley of cannon fire at them. With every shot, the Mako rocked slightly back and forth from the recoil. It was mano y mano… Mako y Makos... She winced at her own poorly planned joke. _

_ Their drivers had barely any time to react before both went up in an explosion that sent its own shockwave out across the battlefield.  _

_ She whooped loudly inside her cabin, grimacing when she smacked her wounded arm on the head rest. Sitting back to survey the destruction she had wrought and her little squad’s victory, she noticed movement on one of the monitors. _

_ At least half a dozen more Makos were bearing down on their position. Unsure of how much more firepower her vehicle had left, Shepard panicked slightly… This was it…  _

_ But just as she settled herself behind the controls once more to make a final stand, she caught sight of Alliance fighters sweeping down on the stolen equipment, carpet bombing the shit out of the batarians.  _

_ Shepard hollered jovially once more as a voice came through her comms. _

_ “This is the  _ SSV Gettsyburg _… is anyone alive down there? Over…”_

_ “About damn time you showed  _ Gettysburg _!” Shepard said happily back through her omni-tool. “2 nd lieutenant Shepard of the 103rd Division, Sir!”_

_ “Good to hear your voice LT,” replied the voice. “What’s your situation down there?”  _ __

_ Shepard snorted, it could certainly have been worse, “No casualties… except if you include the bastards that started this, Sir.” _

_ “Your platoon leader down there?”  _

_ “Nope… Just a number of civilians, three asari, two turians, an N7 op, one crab ass krogan, and myself… you know… enjoying some well deserved shore leave.” _

_ “Hell of a job, soldier,” came the reply. “I’ll be surprised if they don’t give you the damn Star of Terra for this.” _

* * *

**__Back to the present next time! Thank you all who leave kudos, reviews, etc!**


	32. Never

_And all these days I spend away_

_I'll make up for this I swear_

_I_ _need your love to hold me up_

_When it's all to much to bear_

_\- Landing in London, 3 Doors Down_

Still standing in the hospital hall, Garrus incredulously blinked several times, unable to quite comprehend what Liara had just told him. Slowly, his brain seemed to catch up with his ears, and he flared his mandibles into the biggest grin he could remember having in a long while. Alenko’s eyes were as big as saucers, and Vega had the cheesiest grin upon his face. Brian Potts looked bewildered.

Shaking the disbelief from his mind, he made a move to pass Liara and go directly through the door she just came out of, but as he did, the asari grabbed him firmly by the wrist and pulled him around to face her.

“There’s a few things you should know before you go in there,” she began. Garrus nodded fervently, not really looking at Liara, his eyes glazed over with the thought of wanting to brush her aside, make a beeline straight to Shepard’s side, and hold her in his arms until the end of time.

“Listen to me, Garrus” she said aggressively. “Her body is still weak, and she may be a bit confused as to what’s happened.”

Garrus glanced over his shoulder. Brian Potts, the human Liara had “invited”, frowned over the rims of his glasses. It seemed as if he was still perplexed. There was a chance Liara hadn’t told him everything about the situation… specifically that Shepard was just in the next room.

“She doesn’t know about her arm yet…,” she finished.

The Primarch jerked his head back round at this last statement.

“You didn’t tell her?” he growled, suddenly livid. Liara shook her head, placing her hands on her hips defiantly. “No, I did not. Her mind is still fragile, and she shouldn’t have to be placed under any more stress… I’m certain you would agree.”

Garrus sighed irritably and nodded. Of course he agreed… she made sense. Often times anymore, he believed that their young asari friend had finally learned to place logic in front of emotions, and make diplomatic decisions… no wonder she was damn good at what she did.

“Excuse me,” came a small voice. Garrus turned around once more, Potts had cleared his throat and was shuffling his feet apprehensively. “Does anyone mind telling me exactly what I’m doing here?”

“Yes… I’m getting to that,” Liara said, holding up a hand, and giving the human pause. “Give me just another-“

But what she was saying was drowned out in an outbreak of screams, the clattering of metal, and one unearthly roar of fury, coming from inside Shepard’s room.

“Ahh, _shit_ ,” Vega muttered.

“Shepard,” Garrus whispered and swept by Liara in one swift motion.

Upon opening the door, he could scarcely believe what he was seeing.

The entire room had been thrown into disarray: tables stood upheaved, the curtain around the bed had been torn from the brackets, and even the vid monitor had was hanging lopsided on the wall, a spiderweb of cracks reaching its corners.

Shepard had a young orderly suspended in the air with what appeared to be an extremely controlled Lift. Somehow, someway, she was also Reaving, laying waste to the nurse’s body. The nurse was crying out in immense pain, clawing at her throat, as every nerve in her body was ravaged. Biotics jumped off Shepard’s remaining arm, surging around her outreached hand, and filling the room with static discharge.

Dr. Chakwas stood beside Shepard, urging her, begging with her to get back to bed, shouting over top of her continued bellowing and the nurse’s increasingly quieter sobs. Her requests went unnoticed.

“WHAT DOES CERBERUS WANT?!” Shepard snarled. Garrus saw her eyes, they were glazed over in a blind rage. He had never seen her like this before and doubted she was fully comprehending what she was doing. Even in her weakened state she was a force to be reckoned with.

“ANSWER ME!” she bellowed again. Something had to be done soon… she was on the verge of killing the innocent nurse, or doing more damage to herself.

“Shepard…,” Garrus said quietly, taking a step towards her gingerly, his hand reaching out slowly to her. She blinked once or twice, but didn’t restrain her biotics.

“Aurora…,” he said in almost a whisper, his subharmonics pleading with her. “Come back to me, Aurora.”

A flash of recognition at his voice flickered behind her eyes, and almost sluggishly, the Reave wavered for a moment longer and then died. Shepard’s eyes fluttered once more, and she turned to face him.

“G-Garrus?” she said in a feeble voice, still maintaining the Lift that hung onto the suspended and shaking nurse.

From the corner of his vision, he saw Liara take hold of the orderly with her own biotics. He nodded his head, chancing another step toward her.

“You can let go now, Aurora,” Garrus said softly. Shepard scanned the room and at Chakwas, then at the small party that had gathered in the doorway, and then at the nurse in the air. Fear and anxiety took hold and she gasped. The last of her biotics dissipated as she jerked her hand back in horror at the havoc she had created.

She whimpered, staggered once and fell to her knees. Garrus moved instantly to her side and caught her in his arms, also dropping to the floor. He held her close, feeling her shudder, feeling her begin to sob uncontrollably into his chest. He nuzzled the top of her head gently, trying to console her.

“Sshh… It’s alright,” he whispered, keeping his head bent close to her ear. “You’re safe… I’ve got you now…”

Chakwas let out an audible sigh of relief. Liara tended to the orderly who was still visibly shaken. Vega let out a long, low whistle, and Alenko leaned back against the door frame, closing his eyes. Potts looked on, disbelief and doubt written across his face.

In a far off and distant voice, Garrus heard him say, “She’s alive?!” But his exclamation was ignored.

Garrus glanced up at Chakwas, looking for direction. It was imperative they get Shepard into bed at once and hooked back up to the IVs, as she had ripped them all out in her fit of rage and confusion. Chakwas motioned towards the hospital bed, and rubbed her forehead in exhaustion. Garrus shifted Aurora in his arms ever so slightly as he stood, and carried her to where Chakwas had indicated. Garrus set her down carefully on the mattress.

She grabbed a hold of the front of his clothing, tears still streaming down her face, and croaked, “Please don’t leave me…”

Leaning his head into hers, he breathed, “Never…”

* * *

**So a bit shorter than previous chapters, but still we see insights into** **fucked up Shepard is... Lots of info soon!**


	33. The Light

_Sickening, weakening_

_Don't let another somber pariah consume your soul_

_You need strengthening, toughening_

_It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you_

_I_ _gnite the fire within you_

_\- The Light, Disturbed_

 

**_Reapers… Dark… Light… Cerberus… Being…_ **

The words echoed from a far distant corner of her mind… muddled… thick… sluggish… as if they were drugged… Drugged… Her head was heavy, and it pounded something fierce… And yet, she was somewhere warm… comforting.

Slowly, Shepard forced her eyes to open, and when she did, she could almost hear them scratching around in her skull… Dry… like bits of old paper rubbing against each other.

Allowing everything to adjust and come into focus, she scanned the room. It was of fairly decent size. Sterile white walls and ceiling stared back at her with no interest. A matching curtain hung beside her bed, pushed back on its rungs to reveal the window that lay beyond. All she could see from the window were grey, dreary skies, and rain as it splattered against the glass. She was once again in a hospital…

_God, did it ever end?_

For the briefest of moments she panicked, thinking she was back with Cerberus. But just as she began to search wildly around, she felt a huge and hulking form beside her.

She turned her head to the right, and blinking through the haze of painkillers, she realized it was Garrus… his large frame was curled up next to her, half his body hanging off the edge of the bed. One hand rested gently on her thigh, as the other was stuck behind the pillow her head leaned against. Relief washed over her as she awkwardly maneuvered her way closer to him. She went to reach across her body to hold his hand, but when nothing happened, she remembered her left arm was dead.

Glancing at him to make sure he was still fast a sleep, she smiled. Sure enough, he was, breathing heavily and looking absurdly uncomfortable.

She threw the sheet off her body and made to sit up, but what she saw next, sent what little contents her stomach held spewing out onto the floor.

**_Dark…_ **

She felt Garrus bolt up behind her.

“Shepard?” he asked in a low tone, placing a hand lightly on her back.

She quaked as a dry heave made her convulse once more. When the episode subsided, she wiped her mouth with the back of her shaking hand. Her voice cracked when she spoke, threatening to break completely, “My arm, Garrus…”

**_Light…_ **

He sighed wearily and moved to her side.

“We had to…” he trailed off.

“You let them take my arm?” Shepard croaked. He grabbed hold of her remaining hand, entwining his fingers around hers.

“The doctors…,” he choked, seeing the confusion and sadness upon her face. “There was nothing they could do to save it… It was so badly damaged, even your nanites couldn’t repair it…”

She gazed solemnly into her lap for a long while, at the hospital gown, to her bandaged legs with barely her toes poking out, and to the floor at the mess she had just vomited up.

“Your nanites… they replaced them with state of the art new ones...,” when she didn’t immediately respond, Garrus continued. “The ones you got from Cerberus and the Lazarus Project tried to kill you…”

“Of course they did,” Shepard muttered despondently. Garrus shook his head, “No, they had a negative reaction with the meds the doctors were pumping you with… it was unintentional, I think…”

She was still trying to wrap her mind around everything that had happened. Memories came and went like small tendrils of smoke in an open field. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Garrus asked almost hesitantly, “Do you remember what happened last night?”

“What happened last…?” her voice quavering as she recalled. “Oh…” She tried to supress the image the incident had left in her mind’s eye, but to no avail.

“I woke up… screaming… drenched in sweat… Thinking I was once again back with Cerberus… I didn’t even see Chakwas standing there… just the orderly… and something…,” she gulped, dredging up what she had done in stark horror. “Something snapped… inside of me… I... I almost killed that nurse!”

She leaned her head against his cowl and pulled her hand from his grip. Covering her eyes, she started to weep. Garrus didn’t press the issue further. Instead he held her and pulled her in close, burying his face in the curve of her neck.

**_Death…_ **

How was this even possible? How was she still alive? Not once, but twice now… three if you included the gunshot to the gut back on the _Normandy_ … This wasn’t suppose to happen… She went into the Crucible fully expecting to not come out. She had been prepared. Her mind made up… She had not anticipated to be sitting here with Garrus… bent, broken… and emotionally beaten down.

Her tears were flowing more freely now. Why was she still alive when so many had sacrificed themselves? This isn’t what she deserved… She should have been there for every single person, or should have burned with them.

**_Being…_ **

It was her fault that Jenkins died on Eden Prime… She had been too careless, too inexperienced.

Her fault that Ash was gone. She shouldn’t have left her on Virmire. There could have been other ways. They could have let Saren escape that day… he did anyway though.

Nearly the entire batarian race was wiped out because of her… throwing an asteroid at a Mass Relay… The Reapers had to be stopped, didn’t they? But that only delayed them.

Mordin… Thane… Anderson… Legion… the Geth… And how many countless others… All dead because of her. Because they would have followed her in the gaping maw of hell… Because they did follow her… All senselessly gone because they had seen her as a hero, as the only one in this whole damn wide universe who was strong enough, brave enough, foolish enough to bear that weight upon her shoulders.

Her sobs turned to hiccups, and she heard Garrus begin to growl. Not a violent or threatening growl, but more of a rumble… soothing, comforting, reassuring… his subharmonics resonated deep within her as he rocked her gently in his arms. It was almost as if he was humming, low and soft. And in that moment, she found it to be the most beautiful sound in the galaxy. Her hiccups turned to a whimper. As she continued to listen, closing her eyes, a calm washed over her.

“I know what you’re going through, Shepard,” Garrus said quietly.

She turned to face him and frowned through swollen and bloodshot eyes, anger and fury rising in her chest

“You have no _fucking_ idea-” she began heatedly. Garrus pressed his forehead to hers, holding her hand in both of his.

“But I do,” he said, foreheads still touching. She opened her mouth to argue but Garrus continued. “Omega, Shepard… Why did I survive when my men died needlessly?”

“I- I didn’t think-“

“It’s called guilt…,”

She could no longer meet his eyes, suddenly ashamed, and pulled away to stare out the window, into the greyness of the world.

Garrus took a deep breath, “You’re thinking to yourself why did you survive this when so many didn’t… why you?

Shepard nodded, still unconvinced. He snorted humorlessly, shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t have an answer for you… Call it fate… destiny… _Hell_ , call it luck, if you want… But I think you’re just too damn stubborn. And you’re allowed to feel that way, Shepard… In fact, if you didn’t, then I’d think there was something seriously off… like another clone, or one of those horrid Shepard VIs.”

She laughed in spite of herself, the corners of her lips turning upwards as she did.

“And if I know you, which I do fairly well, if I do say so myself,” he said, his mandibles twitching into a slight grin. “And as much as I wish it was, this isn’t over. Cerberus better be praying to whatever gods they hold close, because their time is almost up.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Shepard leaned her head against Garrus’ shoulder.

“How is it that you always know exactly what to say?” she asked quietly.

“Because aside from being Archangel, a turian bad boy, and a Primarch… I am your boyfriend… it’s my job.”

“Primarch Vakarian…,” she said. “I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around that.”

Garrus stood and pressed the red assistance button on the wall beside the bed, saying, “We’re not talking about that… Now, let’s get someone in here to clear this mess cleaned up and get you settled back down… Because you’re still in no position to do anything, and because I believe Liara might have a lead into this mess.”

Shepard maneuvered her way back to her pillows and watched as he fussed over her sheets. She reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him toward her, causing him to pause and meet her eyes.

“I love you, Garrus,” she said, beholding him, his slate gray eyes gazing back at her. “You’ve always, _always_ had my six, and now you’re the only thing keeping me tethered to reality… I have no idea how or why you put up with me, with my crazy ass life… But somehow… you do…”

“Shepard, in a thousand different galaxies, on thousands of worlds, and in an infinite number of lifetimes, in each one, I would find you, and I would choose you every single time,” he then kissed her, the palm of his hand cupping her chin, as her heart thundered from her chest.

* * *

**Thanks so much for the kind reviews and kudos! they are always welcomed :)**


	34. Out of the Dark

_There's a fire starting in my heart_

_Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark_

_\- Rolling in the Deep, Adele_

 

Over the next several hours, Shepard was bombarded by swarms of doctors, flocking to and from her room, all overseen by Karin Chakwas.

“Well I am your primary caregiver, aren't I?” she had said indignantly, when Shepard had asked what the older woman was doing there.

So, much to her chagrin, she underwent numerous testing. She was prodded and poked (Chakwas doing most of the poking), asked a wide range of questions, had her bandages come off and redressed, underwent a series of brain scans, stress tests, an EKG and copious amounts of others before Chakwas would relent.

Every single doctor that saw her said the same thing: she shouldn’t be sitting there, awake and alert, let alone alive. After hearing it so many times, Shepard began to roll her eyes in frustration, as Garrus stood beside her, chuckling.

When she thought Chakwas was finally done making her submit to the tests, another doctor walked through the door, holding a datapad, and zealously tapping it with long fingers.

“For godsakes Karin!” Shepard moaned, throwing her bandage head against the pillow like a spoiled teen not getting her way. “Haven’t I already succumbed enough to your treachery?”

Chakwas crossed her arms in front of her chest, arching an eyebrow daring the commander to say more. Shepard scowled and muttered, “I could have you arrested for mutiny…”

When Garrus snorted, she turned to face him to give him the same glowering stare of annoyance and disapproval.

They had been at it for what seemed like the better part of the day, and all she wanted was for them to go away, and to be left alone with Garrus, sleep some more and possibly eat something… and not necessarily in that order.

To be perfectly honest, she felt fine… aside from her missing arm, the two missing ribs from the same side (which she only just found out about a half hour prior), the healing gunshot wound in her abdomen, the scarred, taut skin covering a large portion of her body, the massive headache that throbbed at the base of her skull and her temples, the unstable and volatile biotics that teetered on the edge of a knife, ready to blow at any moment, and the dark whispers that murmured ominous thoughts into her ear…

Well… maybe she was feeling a little worse for wear, but this place… the hospital made her skin crawl, with its stark white walls, the clean, antiseptic smell, the clattering of medical supplies. She felt like all sides were pressing their way into her, threatening to crush her, to suffocate her.

Her mother had called from the vid screen opposite her. Aside from apologizing that she couldn’t be there, Hannah had relayed that general population was still under the impression that she was KIA. Not even Alliance knew, save for Hackett and her ship’s crew. They had collectively agreed that Shepard’s survival ought to be kept secret, for her own well being, at least for a time.

Liara, using her Shadow Broker influence, had brought the best team of doctors in to care for and monitor Shepard. They had all sworn and signed nondisclosure agreements before being allowed to see her.

The _Normandy_ had been confiscated by the Alliance, and its crew grounded, Hannah has said. Kaidan had pulled some quick thinking and told the military personnel that he had used it for a Spectre mission on Council business and that he was unable to provide them with anymore information, as it was deemed classified. They were currently being held and debriefed.

They had talked at length over what had transpired with Shepard over the last eight months, beginning with the run for the beam, to the Illusive Man, Anderson’s death, the Crucible, her nightmarish time spent with Cerberus and her bat shit crazy father.

Through the entire exchange, Shepard had ignored the concerned and sympathetic looks she received from Garrus and Chakwas. Thankfully, neither of them asked questions, remaining silent. with Garrus simply gripping her hand tight in reassurance.

She wanted out. She wanted to jump from her bed, grab Garrus by the arm, steal the _Normandy_ and disappear forever, leaving behind everything.

The call to do so was intoxicating. Shepard closed her eyes against it, but the thought filled her with a hope and joy she long forgot existed. She imagined a home by the sea, located on some, far off, alien world, where no military or public or enemies or reality would dare bother them. The sound of waves crashed and thundered in her mind as she envisioned long and lazy days spent on warm, cream colored sand, her and Garrus lounging in comfortable chairs, drinks in hand, as they watched squealing and giggling children play in the surf… a small human, a turian child, and a baby krogan… all adopted, all loved just as equally. Nights would be filled with a table full of a variety of delectable food, laughter, stories read from underneath covers, blanket forts around the living room… music and parties under the stars, with long time friends that would come to visit…

Black tendrils snuck around the fantasy and yanked her back to reality with a violent jerk. In her heart of hearts, Shepard knew she would never succumb to that intense lull, no matter how powerful it was. Not so long as Cerberus remained… and that forceful energy that crept in the dark recesses of her mind… still whispering… still incessant, still unrelenting in decadent promises…

“Shepard?” Garrus’ voice tugged gently at her, pulling her back through time, away from a flawless and unsoiled future.

Her eyes focused on his, and the corners of her mouth turned upward in a small, sad smile, a single tear leaking from her eye, carving a wet path down her cheek and falling on his three fingered hands.

She heard Chakwas off to her left cough nonchalantly, and Shepard shook off the remaining vestiges of the dream.

“Sorry,” she croaked, her voice catching in her throat.

Chakwas shook her head, waving away the apology, and pointing to the doctor at the foot of her bed, “As I was saying Commander, this is Dr. Bernard Wolffe.”

Shepard quickly straightened her back the best she could, and offered her hand to him in greeting, forcing a smile, “It’s a pleasure, Doctor.”

“Dr. Bernard here,” Chakwas continued. “Is to be your orthopedic surgeon. He specializes in state of the art prosthetics for military combatants.

Arching an eyebrow in curiosity, Shepard surveyed the surgeon. Wolffe was a squat looking man, not dissimilar to a tall volus, but he had a pleasant, ruddy face with thick, round glasses. He did seem a bit on the eager side when he began to speak.

“I must say, Commander,” he squeaked excitedly. “It’s an honor to meet you. I- I can’t express my thanks enough for what you have done for the galaxy, for its people!”

She glanced at Garrus as Wolffe spoke. He flicked a mandible and raised a browplate to match hers, both the slightest bit wary of the doctor’s enthusiasm.

“You’ve given us a second chance, Commander… another shot at living…,” his eyes shone with tears as he spoke. “When the Shadow Broker contacted me and asked if I would do this for you, I didn’t hesitate. You deserve that second chance, as well.”

Any suspicion Shepard had reserved, went flying right out the window. She was touched by his kind words.

“Thank you Dr. Wolffe. You’re gratitude makes all this-,” she gestured around the room, looking glumly at her empty shoulder. “Makes it a little easier.”

He beamed at her, “The debt the galaxy owes you is something we will never be able to repay…” Wolffe handed her the datapad he held. “Hopefully this is enough for a consolation…”

Garrus sat down on the bed beside Shepard as she took the datapad in her hand, smiled back at him and looked down at the screen in front of her. She had no words to describe what she saw. It was the schematics of a full arm, including the shoulder joint, a working elbow and fingers that were capable of moving individually. Wires ran the entire length of it, and a number of small nodules were built along them at varying intervals. Her hand shook as she looked it over again and again, not quite believing what she was looking at.

She opened her mouth to convey the emotions that were overwhelming her, but as she did, no sound came out. Garrus pressed his brow to the side of her head, his subvocals rumbling in encouragement, knowing it was exactly what she needed at the moment.

“I don’t know what to say…,” Shepard whispered, still in awe. The prosthetic was a work of art.

“Well…,” Wolffe began, thoroughly pleased with her reaction. “Let’s see if perhaps I can answer at least a few questions then. The arm and two ribs, both made from the highest grade of titanium alloy would be surgically grafted into your body. The ribs can easily be attached to the spine with a set of anchors.

“As for the arm… from what I’ve seen of the scans, it appears the emergency doctors removed half of the socket, but we would of course replace the entire socket and then attach robotic arm, which is also comprised of the same titanium alloy as the ribs and carbon fibers…,”

Shepard frowned, interrupting him, unsure she heard correctly, “Wait… Did you say robotic?”

“Yes… technically it falls into that category, but you would have complete control over it,” Wolffe said confidently. “The wires you see would be directly attached to your remaining nerves allowing for full manipulation and eventually 100 percent feeling and touch-”

This time it was Garrus who cut him off, “What do you mean eventually? She won’t have a sense of touch right from the get go?”

Wolffe shook his head, “Commander, you will be able to feel pressure, feel the weight of something in your arms, feel heat and cold, be able to grasp things in your hand… As for the depth of touch you feel you with your natural hand… it won’t be as strong. At least not until the synthetic skin overlay is completed.” The look on Shepard’s face must have asked the question she had in her mind, because Wolffe shrugged and said, “Two years is the time table on the skin overlay…”

She nodded slowly, trying to grasp everything the doctor was telling her, her mind working quickly. Plans needed to be made… strategies to devise… and a whole shit to of questions needed answering.

The doctor’s voice pulled her back to the present, “-And you see the small nodes along the length of it? They will be able to help stabilize your biotics, allow you better control of them…”

 ** _Come toward the Light_** …

Shepard snorted… biotics…, “I shouldn’t have to need all this… I’ve never been able to produce more than a decent Reave… and now that Cerberus has had their fun and manipulated my biology more than once, my Reave is more devastating than Kaidan’s? And then I find out I can Lift? I’m not a Sentinel or a Vanguard… I’m a Soldier for crying out loud!”

Cerberus was going to pay dearly for everything they did. Not only to her, but also the war crimes and atrocities they committed against humans and every other species under the goddamn sun. And her father… Cyrus Shepard was going to be taken out in a geyser of his own blood as she slit his throat slowly, making sure he felt ever fiber of his skin shred beneath the hot sear of her omni-blade.

**_You are more like us than you know…_ **

AND SHE NEEDED TO GET THESE FUCKING VOICES OUT OF HER HEAD!

Shepard shifted against her pillows, pushing away the walls that threatened to close in around her. Looking the doctor in the eye, she asked, “Will I be able to return to normal life?”

Wolffe shrugged, “I- You should be able to return to ordinary activities… I don’t see why not.”

“I think our ideas of ordinary are vastly different, Doc,” Garrus said, his subvocals tinged with a hint of mirth. He glanced down at her as she gave him a smirk.

“I guess what I’m trying to ask is,” Shepard began. “Will I be able to hold, carry, and fire a weapon?”

Wolffe’s eyes darted from Shepard to Garrus to Chakwas and back to Shepard. Chakwas muttered a string of curses under her breath, shaking her head in displeasure.

“I don’t see why not…,” Wolffe said in a small voice, backing slightly from the crazed, half wild look in her eyes.

“How soon?” she asked.

“For the surgery? Day after tomorrow, it could be ready…”

“Do it.”


	35. Endless Stars

She couldn’t remember the last time she saw sunshine.

Shepard sat leaned against her pillows, breathing a sigh of contentment, as the sunlight streamed through the picture window of her hospital room. Dust floated throw the air, dancing through the rays that couldn’t yet reach her. It was early evening, the day following her surgery to attach this prosthetic arm… this robotic appendage.

How much of her now was actually synthetic?

**_More than you care to admit… More than you care to even know…_ **

Synthetic… she snorted… Destroy the Reapers… destroy the geth and AI… destroy herself… And yet, here she was… as right as rain, if not a little worse for wear, but still kicking it.

She flexed her new hand, each individual finger waving back and forth, then balling it into a fist. It was smooth, elegant… strong.

Dr. Wolffe had voiced his excitement with how well the surgery had gone, bouncing on the balls of his feet as she came out of her anesthetic slumber. Granted, she was a bit sore. Her back felt stiff where they had drilled into her spine to anchor the two new ribs. In her shoulder, she could feel where organic ended and synthetic began. It was a strange sensation; one she was unsure of, as it made her feel… perhaps a bit too akin to the Reapers, leaving a sickening taste in her mouth. A taste that was too reminiscent of bile.

**_Synthesis was your destiny…_ **

**_Not Control…_ **

**_And not the failure you chose… No, not Destroy…_ **

**_Synthesis will forever be your fate…_ **

Stupid, ridiculous voices…

Speaking of which… Chakwas had informed Shepard the doctors were unable to remove that damn mind control chip implanted in her head because it was buried too far into her brain to retrieve it safely. Chakwas had concluded the control chip was where the voices were coming from. Whispers being sent over some sort of communication line to undermine and destabilize Shepard, to drive her to the brink of madness, thus allowing her no option but to go back to Cerberus.

She had every intention of returning to Cerberus, but on her own terms.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she rested her elbows on her knees, and ground the heels of her hands into her shut eyes, groaning from mental exhaustion. Oh, how she dreamed and fantasized about her future. Every single _fucking_ moment she thought she could see it looming in front of her, every time she had it within her grasp and could see the light at the end of the tunnel, something else crept up to divert her. God, was she ready to take back control of her life.

The door to her room creaked open, and Shepard didn’t need to look up to see who it was.

“Hey Garrus,” she said wearily. She felt him bend low, his breath warm against her cheek. He nuzzled the crook of her neck, his subvocals purring as he did so.

Shepard giggled and buried her head into his cowl. Garrus’ rumbling sent chills down her spine and made her hair stand on end in arousal and excitement.

“And what do you think you’re doing, Vakarian?” she said, laughing, tracing her fingers delicately along his mandible. She could barely stand without her knees quaking; she didn’t think she’d be able to last even a minute if things turned sexual.

“Mmm, I want you, Shepard…,” He said in a low voice, nipping at her ear. “I want you so damn bad.”

Stroking the back of his neck, she moaned, “You have no idea how much I want… need to fuck you… as Jack so elegantly puts it.”

Garrus pulled away, attempting to scowl, trying to hide his twitching faceplates, his amusement betraying him, “You just had to ruin it by bringing Jack into this, didn’t you?”

“You have _the_ single worst poker face,” she said, still laughing. “You know that, right?”

“One of my more endearing qualities,” he said, striving to pout and failing miserably.

Shepard couldn’t help but snort.

Holding out his hands, Garrus said, “Ready for our hourly stroll?”

Grumbling under her breath, Shepard allowed him to tug her up from the bed and into an upright position. Without adrenaline or a large dosage of drugs coursing through her veins, she could feel her legs trembling beneath the weight of her body.

Every hour, on the hour, barring sleep of course, since her surgery, Garrus came to collect her and insisted she walk with him up and down the hallway, between both guard postings. He was insistent when she complained, but even over the course of the last 24 hours, she could feel herself becoming less weak.

The road to recovery, he said. Gathering her numerous wires and tubes, Garrus draped all of them over the wheeled IV pole. With her synth hand, Shepard grabbed hold of its length, and with her organic hand, she laced her fingers between his talons.

Out of the room they went and made a left. Shepard preferred taking the left turn first as there was a window at the end of the hall before a flight of stairs… a different view than the one from her room, albeit a landscape consisting of a half dismantled Reaper… but a change of scenery nonetheless.

Two Alliance guards stood in the doorway at the top of landing, speaking in hushed voices and playing a game of Skyillian Five. When Shepard and Garrus approached, they both stood, saluted and said, “Commander! Primarch!”  

Leaning against the window sill to catch her breath, Shepard replied, “Privates, do you think you could allow the Primarch and myself to speak in private?”

Both soldiers glanced at one another, with one shaking his head, “Sorry Commander, but we have orders to stand watch at this end of the hall…”

“I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be disobeying any orders,” Garrus said authoritatively. “If, say one of you were to stand watch at the stairs going down, while the other one kept an eye on those going up…”

Seeing it unwise to argue with a Primarch of Palaven, they simply shrugged, closing the landing door behind them. Shepard watched as one went up and the other went down. Sure that they were both out of eyesight and earshot, she turned to Garrus.

“So when’s Hackett gonna make the announcement?” Shepard asked, eyeing the fallen Reaper corpse through the glass. Even dead, they left her with a feeling of dread and misery.

Garrus must have sensed her fear and pulled her back around, to face him, steering her mind away from the destruction of her enemies.

“He’s already spoken with the media at a press conference a few hours ago,”

Shepard merely nodded, thoughtful. The media was probably having a field day with this. She knew her survival would be the icing on the cake for reporters, and her return to the limelight was inevitable, even if she didn’t particularly enjoy it.

“He didn’t say much though,” Garrus continued. “He stated that you had been found, alive, and that you were being held in an Alliance hospital, under 24 hour surveillance.”

“Still feels like I’m imprisoned, and that room and this hall are my cell…” Shepard muttered.

Garrus sighed, “Shepard, you know you’re only here to recover. Your nanites are doing an excellent job of healing your body, and you’ll be out of here in no time.”

“Not soon enough, Garrus,” she said. “I have unfinished business to attend to…”

**_No matter how long it takes… We’ll be here…_ **

“Like getting this stupid chip out of my head, for one!” said Shepard miserably.

Garrus shook his head and chuckled, “You do realize that you can take a breather for a little while, right?”

“Ugh, I’m sorry, Garrus. You’re right,” she felt the corners of her mouth turn upward slightly. “Leading Palaven has allowed you to become the more level headed one in this relationship, and me, the more psychotic, unhinged one.”

He grunted, “Try telling that to my father and Aria…”

Shepard frowned, “Aria?”

She watched as Garrus rubbed the back of his neck and shifted his feet nervously before he spoke, “Yeah… we sort of…uhh… activated a bomb on Omega, while searching for you…”

**_We watched it happen… it was a glorious sight to behold, Shepard… you should have been there…_ **

Blinking several times with incredulity, she thought she hadn’t heard him correctly, “A _bomb_??”

Garrus sighed, “I suppose I’ll have to tell you sooner or later, but I’m willing to bet your alliance with Aria is off. Also… we have a lifetime ban from Omega.”

He then spent the next ten minutes describing the events that had transpired on the space station, everything from shooting Aria in the leg, to going to the Gozu District and searching in complete darkness, to finding her omni-tool and Maelon showing up, to the adjutants and the bomb, Tali getting hurt and the _Normandy_ blasting a hole for them to escape.

Shepard listened in utter disbelief as he recalled his tale. Her chest began to swell with pride, realizing, once again, that her friends would risk life and limb for her. They would stick by her to the deepest reaches of space, to the ending of the universe, and into the fiery pits of hell, if she asked them, or even she didn’t. Her crew, the _Normandy_ ’s crew, had a certain amount of courage, strength and kinship that not even death could break. And Shepard had no idea why… why they would follow her lead… why they would jeopardize and endanger their own lives.

Mulling it over in her head, she began to answer her own questions. Because they believed in her… not just to get the job done… but because she went to great lengths to do the right thing. They respected her, and in return, she treated everyone with the same amount of reverence and admiration they deserved.

They weren’t just a crew anymore… No… they were a family… A family, that no matter how many star systems and light years separated them, their lives… their experiences… _their life forces,_ would always be entwined.

As Garrus finished, Shepard quickly wiped the tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. She looked down and saw him holding something small cupped in his hands. It was her omni-tool.

“Oh Garrus!” she sighed, relieved. “I never thought I’d see this again!”

“I- I don’t know why it was on Omega. We’re not sure if Cerberus hid you there first, or if Maelon somehow got his hands on it… but you do need it back…”

She was so ecstatic that she could hardly contain herself. All her memories: photos, mission reports, vid shots, were all stored on that tiny bracelet. She had long since given up of ever finding it.

Securing it around her prosthetic wrist with a _snap_ , the omni-tool sprang to life as if it had never even left.

“Does the inscription on the inside still ring true?” Garrus asked, his vocal cords trembling with an apprehension that almost never presented itself.

Without looking at him, and while flicking through her vast collection of files, she replied, “Don’t be stupid… of course it does. Now when did you say Liara was going to be here with the info she’s collected?”

“Uhh… soon… very soon…,”

“Garrus… you seem nervous… what the hell is wrong?” Shepard asked, flicking off the omni-tool screen.

“We need to talk…”

She gulped a large amount of air into her lungs, and placed a hand on the window sill to steady herself.

“I… What? That usually means something bad is about to happen…,” she said, stunned by his words.

Garrus exhaled, his hands jammed forcefully into his pockets, “We’ve know each other for almost four years. Four years that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And those four years have been one hell of a ride… material that will go down into history books and the Codex, we’ve done things that people a hundred years from now will question, because of how outlandish and impossible they sound…

“There’s no one in this entire universe that I would have rather shared it with more than you, Shepard…,” he grabbed her right hand, with both of his and stepped closer to her. “The first time I saw you on Omega, on that bridge, I thought I was hallucinating, in some twisted and sick nightmare that I would never wake up from…

“But I was so wrong… Spirits, was I wrong… you were my saving grace that day. I looked at you, and I saw you, and for an instant, the galaxy exploded into endless stars...”

 _What the hell is he getting at???_ Shepard thought, her mind buzzing.

“When you put me back on the _Normandy_ , during the race to the beam… When you told me get out of there, my world splintered. And when you told me you loved me and turned to run, my entire heart shattered into so many fragmented pieces… but in that moment… with the war raging among us and the Reapers bearing down… in that moment, Shepard, I swear we were as endless as the stars…”

And in one swift movement, Garrus pulled his other hand from his pocket, dropped to one knee.

“Will you be my salvation? My eternity? My infinite? Aurora Dawn Shepard… will you marry me?”

* * *

**Apologies for the wait... These next few chapters are going to take a little while longer because I want to make sure it turns out right. So thank you for bearing with me... and once again, thank you for sticking this through and all the kind words!**


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